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Is not talking in a car ride with strangers normal?

AnansiThePersona

AnansiThePersona

Started a revolution but the mic was unplugged
Member
Oct 27, 2017
15,682
So I'm on a trip with a bunch of people from my college to this event, and for the most part, we all don't know each other too well. So, for the first 20 or so minutes of the car ride (it's a 3 hour ride) I try starting some conversations with my peers. Everytime (after the fourth I quit), I tried it no one really engaged with me with more than one response. So, before I started being that annoying dude who insists on conversation, I wait to see if anyone else is gonna speak or bring up a topic or anything. And....nothing. It's been an hour and 30 minutes. Honestly I don't really ride places with typically more than one other person in the car, but when I do, conversations usually happen. Everyone's either on their phone (guilty), or asleep.

Am I just in a car where people don't want to talk to each other? Or is this just normal?
 
SwampBastard

SwampBastard

The Fallen
Nov 1, 2017
11,053
I am completely content to sit in awkward silence with strangers. More comfortable with that than trying to make small talk.
 

____

Member
Oct 27, 2017
10,734
Miami, FL
Yeah....I mean, I wouldn't want to be engaged in constant convo with strangers.

But I'm also a pretty reserved person around strangers. Small talk is typically infuriating.
 
Arjen

Arjen

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
2,033
Not talking on a 3 hour ride is not normal no. Must been akward as hell for you.
 
Nabbit

Nabbit

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,422
I've been there before. I think it's perfectly normal to try to strike up conversation in this scenario. If they're not interested though nothing you can really do. But, don't let this discourage you from trying again to make conversation in future situations like this. A week before my birthday in 2006 I took a several hour rideshare with two people who barely spoke the whole time despite my efforts to be chatty. On the way back, on my birthday, one more person joined us, and we chatted endlessly the whole time. That person is my now wife, and we're still chatting endlessly 12 years later.
 
Poppy

Poppy

Member
Oct 25, 2017
18,277
richmond, va
i got ribbed by the bus driver when i bought a bus ticket up to the airport because i wasnt talking much

i just dont enjoy talking to randos
 
Slim

Slim

Banned
Sep 24, 2018
2,846
Socially awkward people. It's not normal to stay silent. Btw, what are trying to talk about? Maybe the topics aren't interesting e.g. "how do u make ur coffee mate?"
 
Arttemis

Arttemis

The Fallen
Oct 28, 2017
6,231
If it's a car full of engineers, I'm not that surprised. The industry is filled with a majority of introverted, social novices. I was hired for a Chem E internship solely because of my ability and willingness to socialize at a family gathering, once.
 
Keldroc

Keldroc

Member
Oct 27, 2017
11,989
It's normal. It would also be normal if people did talk to each other. Stop obsessing over social situations, there is never one "right" answer.
 
thefro

thefro

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,996
Yeah, that's not normal (as an introvert and someone who's not that social).

I can understand people being talked out on the way back and being quiet, but you'd think someone would be interested in talking a bit.
 
grang

grang

Member
Nov 13, 2017
10,085
Is the driver playing music or have the radio on anything? I don't understand how some people can just have silence in the car. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't really be up for conversing, but just sitting in awkward silence hearing everyone breathe is just..awkward. Put anything on in the background.
 
Ogami Itto

Ogami Itto

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
3,612
Arttemis said:
If it's a car full of engineers, I'm not that surprised. The industry is filled with a majority of introverted, social novices. I was hired for a Chem E internship solely because of my ability and willingness to socialize at a family gathering, once.
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Yup, the engineers at my job make me look like an extrovert, lol.
 
Denamitea

Denamitea

Member
Nov 1, 2017
2,709
I don't really like making small talk with strangers but I'll always strike up a conversation if they engage first. I think it's just curteous
 
thefro

thefro

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,996
Ogami Itto said:
Yup, the engineers at my job make me look like an extrovert, lol.
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I'm an IT guy at a company full of engineers. I find I can get most of them talking a bit about IT/technology and they're interested in seeing the inside of their computers when I work on them and what each of the components are. But I'm sure OP has already tried that being an engineer.
 
OP
OP
AnansiThePersona

AnansiThePersona

Started a revolution but the mic was unplugged
Member
Oct 27, 2017
15,682
grang said:
Is the driver playing music or have the radio on anything? I don't understand how some people can just have silence in the car. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't really be up for conversing, but just sitting in awkward silence hearing everyone breathe is just..awkward. Put anything on in the background.
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There's music on but last time I talked about that no one really wanted to talk about that.

Hoodbury said:
If they are all sleeping I wouldn't expect them to talk much.
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They've been awake for a bit. But I've given up by this point. Y'all are the passengers now fuck it lol
 
Oaklight

Oaklight

Avenger
Jun 16, 2018
933
Yes it's perfectly normal to not talk during a car ride. Hell I prefer silence with people I'm close to and not just strangers. Small talk exists solely to to ease ones own insecurity in social situations because they are uncomfortable being silent for some reason.

I know people who are mute and simply are physically unable to talk. They do not spontaneously combust in flames during long car rides when they don't talk to me or others in the car. They do just fine and their is nothing wrong with preferring silence.
 
OP
OP
AnansiThePersona

AnansiThePersona

Started a revolution but the mic was unplugged
Member
Oct 27, 2017
15,682
Alucrid said:
have you brought up anime?
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Too risky. If I get sandbagging after bringing up anime my soul will leave my body to Other World
 
sooperkool

sooperkool

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,159
Oaklight said:
Yes it's perfectly normal to not talk during a car ride. Hell I prefer silence with people I'm close to and not just strangers. Small talk exists solely to to ease ones own insecurity in social situations because they are uncomfortable being silent for some reason.

I know people who are mute and simply are physically unable to talk. They do not spontaneously combust in flames during long car rides when they don't talk to me or others in the car. They do just fine and their is nothing wrong with preferring silence.
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This is the dumbest reasoning for social anxiety I've ever heard.
 
Arjen

Arjen

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
2,033
Maybe you could show them a bit of the Last of Us gameplay to show how far games have come.
 
Maximus

Maximus

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,586
Yea OP that is weird in a car ride to not engage small talk or to dismiss you like that.

I would understand not engaging if they are saying weird things. I would understand not engaging a stranger on public transit.
 
Kite

Kite

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
670
It's a lil unusual that you couldn't find another talkative person in a group of 5+ people. There is usually at least one. But trying to force conversation is pretty awkward, if no one bites after one or two tries then just drop it. Radios in cars exist for the shy folk.
 
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