Just had the biggest fight with my father on Fathers day.
- Thread starter Phonzo
- Start date
OP
OP
Ill be fine. Im stubborn enough that ill die before ever asking him for anything. Not that i was in the erong
OP
OP
Its about him thinking im a worthless and that without him ill amount to nothing and that im still nothing
this is how i felt my enttire life
he has never said anything oositive about me. Like ever
Come on, let us know what it was about.
Ah, best cut that cancer out your life.
Ah, best cut that cancer out your life.
Fuck him. Your better off without him and the only person you got anything to prove to is yourself. If your happy, good, that's all that matters. Live how you want. Let him stew in his own miserable sorry excuse of a life.
OP
OP
Alright maybe in a few hours i can type sometime out. But im too fuming right now to do anything
Man I hope you're able to salvage your relationship. My father was depressed the first 9 years of my life. Woke up for the next 5 years, and then died of a bad heart. Had 5 years with my father, and I was fortunate that it made a lasting impression in a positive way, but God knows I wish I had a father to talk with about stuff growing up.
I won't sit here and project my own wishes unto you, because I know some suffer really bad relationships with their parents - your dad sounds like a bad fucking influence - but I hope you manage and somehow find each other in a good way.
I won't sit here and project my own wishes unto you, because I know some suffer really bad relationships with their parents - your dad sounds like a bad fucking influence - but I hope you manage and somehow find each other in a good way.
If you want, but what 's quoted is plenty enough. Dude sounds like a terrible father.
OP
OP
He thinks just providing a living for your child is being a father. Its so much more than that
i have deep mental scarrs from him, and depression and low self worth all stems from him
First, that's an incredibly painful thing to hear from your father, completely understandable that this hurts you so much.
Second, you should avoid speaking to him for a long time, because clearly any kind of interaction is just going to lead to him hurting you. For you own health, you should avoid any interaction for as long as you need. You may feel guilty about that, but just remind yourself that you are doing it to protect yourself, not to hurt him.
Don't let him drag you down in a sea of anger and negativity. Try to cool down and distract you from this trouble.
Then be cool and analytical and try to avoid him in the future. It's better for your and his mental health.
Then be cool and analytical and try to avoid him in the future. It's better for your and his mental health.
Being in a toxic relationship is not worth it either.
Sadly there is no painless solution for these things, usually.
That's abuse. Not an argument or fight. You should cut ties. I'm sorry.
Agreed 100% This is the reason I said goodbye to my mother but it's tough for sure.
What a cunt
Good on you for standing up for yourself. No reason to keep that poison in your life.
Father's Day, at the end of the day, is just a marketing plot, OP. If your father is a piece of shit it's better to cut him out.
Mine had he same mentality as yours, it seems - for him parenthood was providing money. The rest wasn't included, it seems, and I can say the scars left do hurt. I cut him off two years ago, and not having to deal with all his bullshit is a reprieve.
It's gonna hurt, and it isn't easy. Go open a beer, do something you like, and don't give him the satisfaction of ruining your day.
Mine had he same mentality as yours, it seems - for him parenthood was providing money. The rest wasn't included, it seems, and I can say the scars left do hurt. I cut him off two years ago, and not having to deal with all his bullshit is a reprieve.
It's gonna hurt, and it isn't easy. Go open a beer, do something you like, and don't give him the satisfaction of ruining your day.
OP
OP
Great advice on the alcohol right now. Totally forgot. Gonna make me a cocktail and finish tlou 2.
joel for father of the year.
I'm sorry to hear that OP. But from what I can tell you are at least in a position where you can take a stand against him and cut him off if everything fails.
Get ready for clowns who are going to barge in and say that you shouldn't disown family
no one cares
EDIT: Ok that might be a bit harsh, but don't come into a thread just to rub your relationship with your father in the OP's face when they're having a hard time with their own.
OP
OP
My boss of 8 years, who just retired 3 months ago, is much more of a father figure to me. When he retired and announced it to our team during a conference i cried during the conference and people were consoling me.
he helped me moved onto a different department within the company once he left, and guess what he said to my new boss? Treat him as if he was my son. It hit me so hard. He was well respected Within the company.
edit: im just having random thoughts now that im tipsy.
he helped me moved onto a different department within the company once he left, and guess what he said to my new boss? Treat him as if he was my son. It hit me so hard. He was well respected Within the company.
edit: im just having random thoughts now that im tipsy.
I'm your dad now c'mere son
Nevermind that I'm a 27yo woman, that doesn't matter. We'll drink beer and toss a ball.
I'm so sorry OP. :( Fuck him you don't need that toxic in your life.
Cut him out OP you are not worthless and you can be anything and everything he isnt and more.
Off into the fuckoffosphere with him.
Off into the fuckoffosphere with him.
Living well is the best revenge.
Not going to make assumptions but I wouldn't be surprised if he is suffering from his own personal inadequacies and has spent a lifetime offloading them onto you. Probably unaware of the damage. Not an excuse but merely trying to re-frame his bullshit so you don't blame yourself or take his grievances seriously.
Just don't let his discouraging words overwhelm. Focus on yourself and your positives, he wins if you let him take that away.
Also, you are upset because you care. It's normal and it shows the good within that he isn't recognizing. Unfortunately you may be unable to reach him through words, arguments, etc... so again divert your frustration and anger to more productive things. He isn't worth ruminating over or spiraling into self doubt. Sometimes that does mean cutting off that negative source, but until you can get used to brushing off his BS and just seeing it for what it is, it's best to let him go.
Not going to make assumptions but I wouldn't be surprised if he is suffering from his own personal inadequacies and has spent a lifetime offloading them onto you. Probably unaware of the damage. Not an excuse but merely trying to re-frame his bullshit so you don't blame yourself or take his grievances seriously.
Just don't let his discouraging words overwhelm. Focus on yourself and your positives, he wins if you let him take that away.
Also, you are upset because you care. It's normal and it shows the good within that he isn't recognizing. Unfortunately you may be unable to reach him through words, arguments, etc... so again divert your frustration and anger to more productive things. He isn't worth ruminating over or spiraling into self doubt. Sometimes that does mean cutting off that negative source, but until you can get used to brushing off his BS and just seeing it for what it is, it's best to let him go.
My wife spoke to her dad for the first time today since Thanksgiving when he threatened to kill our dog, probably the biggest fight ive seen them have. I almost stepped in to lay him out if it came to it. At Christmas he cocked his arm back and threatened to punch his other daughter. Whats up with them dads?!
I'm sorry OP. You don't need that negativity in your life. Any anger or resentment about you is on him and not you.