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Losing on purpose to please partner, is this a common thing?

fireflame

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,275
I remmber a dicussion where someone said he used to lose on purpose to his girlfriend to please her... and someone else approved. I said that I wasn't someone who likespretending and would always try to win no marer what, and he answered if you get a girlfriend you will understand...

I live alone, but I don't get the idea of losing on purpose, I never did that in board game, or maybe if people are tired I might to so to short a game that is lasting too long, maybe?

Is this something you do and why?
 
Theef

Theef

Alt Account
Banned
Nov 3, 2017
755
I don't believe in being a fake person so would never do this.

If my partner wants to win they better get good!
 
EndlessNever

EndlessNever

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,890
I lose to my girl sometimes in games. It feels good to win at shit you barely do, against someone who plays them/it frequently.
 
pochi

pochi

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,176
Yeah but then when they start shit talking.
D4KYCeaWwAMCZua.jpg
 

Fredrik

Member
Oct 27, 2017
9,003
Nah it would just get worse if she spots it, we're both sour losers so we just stop after a few rounds instead or simply choose games where we team up against the baddies.
 
Vylder

Vylder

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,256
My ex girlfriend would get mad at me at Mario Party because I was winning almost every time. My current girlfriend doesn't want me to slow down so she can beat me, she would find that to be insulting to her.
 
Viale

Viale

▲ Legend ▲
Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,624
Sort of. I don't usually purposefully throw(unless playing a game against a kid, because, I mean, just let them get a win, come on), but if another person, like my gf, does start getting frustrated, I may start to purposefully zone out slightly which makes me a bit worse. I don't think people really care, but it helps keep the mood lighter if wins are traded a bit more imo, and ultimately, it's not a competition usually, it's just to have a good time.
 
xxracerxx

xxracerxx

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
31,222
Sometimes you lose on purpose, it really is something you will understand more when you are with someone you love and you can see they are frustrated.
 
Meliodas

Meliodas

Member
Apr 7, 2019
166
Sure, I let him win occasionally to not discourage him so he can believe he has a better chance of winning, especially if it's a game he has never tried before.
 
Giga Man

Giga Man

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 27, 2017
21,276
Find something to play where the playing field is more even, like a party game with more than 2 people involved.
 
Thores

Thores

Member
Oct 25, 2017
502
My partner can tell when I'm holding back, and it only makes her angrier and more powerful.
 
Hey Please

Hey Please

Avenger
Oct 31, 2017
22,824
Not America
I can't remember whether it was in the Cringe Era thread or not but it pertained to incel stuff- There was an image which outlined why a guy needs to lose to a girl in games to maker her feel like the princess that she is and that is the chivalrous thing to do.

So yea......
 
just a slowpoke

just a slowpoke

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,705
there's a difference between "taking it easy on someone" and trying to teach someone by only using techniques and strategies you've taught them or that you know they understand

a person can't improve if you totally overwhelm them at something they haven't learned the fundamentals of yet!
 
DaveB

DaveB

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
4,513
New Hampshire, USA
Depends how much I want her to keep playing with me. If I kick my wife's ass handily in a game repeatedly, she usually won't want to play anymore.

Our niece is the same way. When she's winning, she wants to play another round/match. If I win more than two in a row, she wants to play something else.
 

PrimeBeef

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
5,840
Never even did this for my kid. You want to beat me better get good. Not that I'm great. Just being good should be enough to beat me.
 
Comandr

Comandr

Member
Feb 14, 2018
191
Playing a game with or against someone that beats you every time isn't fun, it's frustrating. If someone you are close with doesn't play games often but is willing to play with you because it's what YOU like to do, never letting them win seems like a good way to keep them from ever wanting to play with you again. Now if this is someone that genuinely wants to try to get better and is playing earnestly, maybe teach them some tricks instead of just trouncing them every time.
 

closer

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,178
im really used to doing this since all my friends in college didn't really play games, i dont think they give a shit if im holding back
 
chrisypoo

chrisypoo

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,457
pochi said:
Yeah but then when they start shit talking.
D4KYCeaWwAMCZua.jpg
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Click to shrink...
This lol.

I don't get to play fighting games often, and when I do it's never against someone who knows what they're doing, and my wife or daughter both tend to get frustrated if they never get any satisfaction of victory, so yeah I'll let em have one every once in a while as I like having someone to play against, but when they start talking shit, it's goin down lol.
 
Vibed

Vibed

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
1,510
If my partner is at all invested in the game, I subtlely let them win every one in 3 or 4 games, because no one likes getting completely decimated, and if they always lose they're less likely to want to play with me again. You let them win just enough to let them feel they have a chance while still making it clear who's the better player, generally. However if they start actually turning the tables of course I'll get serious and not hold back.
 
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Ducarmel

Ducarmel

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,363
As for partners grown ass adults/shit talking teenagers (when i was younger), never! You pick up the controller against me you are fully aware that its on!

Now little kids, I play at their level and try to teach them the basics as best as I can. Than once they built enough confidence and start believing they are good at the game I crush them and I do hope they learned a life lesson or some shit.
 

DarkShame3

Alt Account
Banned
Jan 26, 2019
324
If I'm playing against someone who is at a lower skill level than me, the question is why we are playing and what we want to achieve. If they want me to try my hardest to win, that's exactly what I'll do. But if they are trying to learn, I will usually play closer to their level, but a little bit better. That way they won't be utterly trounced and discouraged, but will still be picking up on ways to improve. Then as they improve, I'll scale up my play with them, and eventually play like normal.
 
effin

effin

Member
Jan 20, 2019
210
Of course. I've been playing games all my life so I have a lot of practice - none of my partners have spent much time playing games if ever. If I want to introduce them to this hobby of mine that I love, it only makes sense to go easy and let them have some fun with it too.

Its never fun being completely crushed at a game.

Basically, if you cant put aside your ego and have some empathy for the how the other person is feeling, and how much they are enjoying it then you should probably take a step back for a lil bit.
 
Dark Ninja

Dark Ninja

Member
Oct 27, 2017
8,073
Yes losing keeps the other person enjoying it longer and probably playing longer with you. Its all about how you lose and if you can manipulate the game to create moments.
 
PSqueak

PSqueak

Member
Oct 25, 2017
12,464
I never lose on purpose, but when im playing with friends a game that i own and have an unfair advantage on i intentionally don't play at full skill to give them a chance at winning, and they often do.

Did this with my best friend for like a month until he caught up in UMVC3 and i didn't have to do it anymore.
 

Deleted member 25606

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 29, 2017
8,973
Throw a match completely? Never. Not go full tilt like it's a competition? Sure depending who it is, the game, and why.

For instance my 12 year old niece has latched on to gaming as a full time hobby and even though both her parents have no problem with it and 100% support her her mom has no interest and her dad will play a select few games with her (anything nes/snes and and any Mario Kart including new ones) so it falls on me.

She likes fighting games and I definitely spend more time teaching her and getting her used to stuff but god forbid I ever LET her win because then she isn't learning.

And you have to show them why. For instance back to fighting games and not letting her win. She used to hate it and would rage quit. So we set her up with other kids/comparable skill sets and she comes out on top constantly, usually with more advanced concepts and now she has moved up to older/better opponents. And now that she gets she was learning by losing to me she doesn't have a problem with it anymore, and not only doesn't ragequit but puts in enough effort to legitimately beat me now and then.

While losing constantly sucks, winning legitimately versus the opponent letting you win, you can tell and if feels different.

By the same token I am glad the adults in my life when I was a child did not let me win when playing chess, it cheats everybody really.
 
Ladioss

Ladioss

Banned
Oct 29, 2017
847
I do. I try to do it in a no obvious way.

It's common courtesy to see that everyone have fun when playing with friends.
 

BagelLemon

Member
Nov 9, 2017
99
Yes, I do.

I really want to make my girlfriend like videogames a bit more. She does play League of Legends and The Sims, but does not have an interest in the medium as I do.

So, whenever I introduce her to a fighting game or anything where I have 20+ years of experience and she has none, I take it easy and let her win a few rounds after I trash talk her a bit. She is quite competitive and gets a kick of it. After some time, it doesn't matter anymore. I saw her browsing Street Fighter V's Reddit the other day while trying to learn how to get better with Karin. It made me feel great. So yeah, no problem with taking it easy in order to get people to like your hobbies.
 
Boy Wander

Boy Wander

Alt Account
Banned
Oct 29, 2017
2,126
UK
I used to sometimes when playing with my son. Now he's older it's more the other way around. My 40 year old reactions are no match for teen reactions.
 
.exe

.exe

Member
Oct 25, 2017
22,292
The key is to not let them know, otherwise it's patronizing. If you've ever tried to introduce a non-gamer to a competitive game, it makes it much more fun for many people if you play the jobber for a bit. What's the fun in crushing another person (because you've got years of experience on them) to the point that they're not enjoying it anymore? It's like tackling a kid like you would an adult. Obviously you have the upper hand.
 
Zem

Zem

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,974
United Kingdom
I crush my wife when I play with her in Mario Kart or something, they either get better or stop playing and taking up half the screen. win-win.
 
Noodle

Noodle

Banned
Aug 22, 2018
3,427


There are many many instances where you should lose on purpose, not just in gaming. Come off as a total dick otherwise.
 
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