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Man Suffers 9-Day Erection After Bruising Taint I’m Moped Accident

TrailerParkRanger

TrailerParkRanger

Banned
Dec 24, 2017
2,399
Moped accident causes taint bruising and 9-day long boner.

According to the report, the 35-year-old man had fallen off his moped nine days before his visit to the ER. At first, he only seemed to have bruised his perineum, the area between the genitals and anus that's commonly known as the "taint." Before long, though, the man developed an erection that lasted far, far more than four hours. While the erection itself wasn't painful and there were no other symptoms, he did have to deal with "mild discomfort on walking."

Once at the ER, he was classified as having a Grade IV erection, the highest tally on the Erection Hardness Score, which is a real thing. Even among cases of unwanted stiffness, though, the man's situation was unusual.
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Ow.

Also, TIL about the Erection Hardness Score.

Edit: Damnit typo. Stupid mobile posting.
 

Deleted member 56595

Account closed at user request
Banned
May 8, 2019
986
I am proud to say I have an erection hardness score of V on command.

It does wonders for the ladies

Yes I've broken the scale

And yes I do this all while wearing my size 16.5 shoes with my extremely long dong
 
ILikeFeet

ILikeFeet

DF Deet Master
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
61,987
he didn't go to the doctor after 4 hours?

a Grade IV erection sounds like something you put on your business card
 
Buckle

Buckle

Member
Oct 27, 2017
41,191
We got grades for hards on?

"Sir, you have a keter class erection. This is an end of the world scenario."
 
lake

lake

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,289
relevant IMDB entries

The Nine Days' Wonder (1953)
Nine Days in May (1984)
Nine Days Wonder (1999)
Nine Days of Hell (2002)
Nine Days to Fall (2012)
 

Robdraggoo

User requested ban
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,455
Im also going to assume he didn't have sex for those 9 days because he owned a moped. Seams like a waste
 
Serene

Serene

Community Resettler
Member
Oct 25, 2017
52,555
OhSatan said:
wait I thought it starts to get necrotic after so many days...
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In the article it talks about how this condition is the opposite of usual "long-term erection" problems. It's not that he wasn't getting enough bloodflow, it's that it was too much. So there was no risk of any cell damage.

Around 95 percent of erections that last too long—a condition called priapism—involve a blockage of blood vessels directly connected to the penis. This type, called low-flow priapism, basically means that an erection is caused by blood that can't leave the genitals as normal. Most cases of low-flow priapism are unexplained, but erectile dysfunction drugs and neurological conditions are common causes.

The man, however, had high-flow priapism, meaning that blood wouldn't stop rushing to his genitals. As with his case, this type usually happens when the blood vessels surrounding the genitals are injured and ruptured through physical trauma. The physical trauma created a pooling of blood in the area and two fistulas on the left and right side of his genitals—connections that redirected the pooled blood to the vessels that regulated his erection.

Low-flow priapism is usually a medical emergency, since the blockage can kill off tissue and permanently damage the penis if left unresolved past a few hours. But cases of high-flow priapism are much less dangerous and usually painless.
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Deleted member 33597

User requested account closure
Banned
Nov 17, 2017
366
I'm having a hard time believing this. From what I've read, even just a few hours is enough that you should definitely go see a doctor because it's potentially dangerous. You're telling me this guy had a stiffy for nine days and not only did he not think to go to the ER, his dick's still perfectly fine? I ain't buyin' it. Even if he was alright I still think he'd go show it off for the doc after a few days. I mean, fuck, it's his dick we're talking about here. I kinda doubt he'd risk it.
 
OP
OP
TrailerParkRanger

TrailerParkRanger

Banned
Dec 24, 2017
2,399
Deference said:
I'm having a hard time believing this. From what I've read, even just a few hours is enough that you should definitely go see a doctor because it's potentially dangerous. You're telling me this guy had a stiffy for nine days and not only did he not think to go to the ER, his dick's still perfectly fine? I ain't buyin' it. Even if he was alright I still think he'd go show it off for the doc after a few days. I mean, fuck, it's his dick we're talking about here. I kinda doubt he'd risk it.
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I mean, it's documented in a medical journal.

And Brits have that stiff upper thing going on.
 
vypek

vypek

Member
Oct 25, 2017
12,576
Learn something new everyday. Those old commercials that mentioned seeing a doctor after 4 hours always made me think that having one too long was going to have awful consequences or at least something pretty bad.
 
AegonSnake

AegonSnake

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
9,566
5295.jpg


Punished Taint.
 

Deleted member 8257

Oct 26, 2017
24,586
How does taint injury cause a 9 day erection?
 

Deleted member 3038

Oct 25, 2017
3,569
You would think after the 3rd day or something he would think "Maybe this isn't normal?"
 
Burrman

Burrman

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
7,633
Is there any way to replicate this procedure in a positive way. Harness it's power for the elderly
 
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