Mom, get a goddamn hearing aid!

[Wag]

Anyone else have elderly parents? Stubborn. I mean, holy shit. I'm trying to talk with her on the phone and it's at the point where she can't hear half the things I'm saying. She says she's ok, it makes her look old, it's too expensive, etc.

I tried explaining to her that I can't have a meaningful conversation with her if she doesn't hear half of what I'm saying, but she doesn't seem to get it. On top of that there's proof that the decline of the elderly's mental acuity is much faster if they can't hear well- the harder they work to hear, the faster the decline.

Yes, I'm an adult and probably older than the majority of users of this forum but I needed to vent. You will (if you're lucky) get old too.

Getting old sucks.

 

[Buckle]

I know exactly how you feel.

She keeps saying I'm mumbling when she's the only one I have this problem with..

sigh.

 

[Everybody Lies]

Anyone else have elderly parents? Stubborn. I mean, holy shit. I'm trying to talk with her on the phone and it's at the point where she can't hear half the things I'm saying. She says she's ok, it makes her look old, it's too expensive, etc.

I tried explaining to her that I can't have a meaningful conversation with her if she doesn't hear half of what I'm saying, but she doesn't seem to get it. On top of that there's proof that the decline of the elderly's mental acuity is much faster if they can't hear well- the harder they work to hear, the faster the decline.

Yes, I'm an adult and probably older than the majority of users of this forum but I needed to vent. You will (if you're lucky) get old too.

Getting old sucks.

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My Dad has this issue too. It really has an impact on our relationship. It's very frustrating.

The cost of hearing aids and the lack of insurance coverage for any of the cost is a big issue too.

You have my sympathies.

 

[Excellence]

I am on the same boat with you OP

mom here something I wanted to talk to you about

mom: what ?!

me: HERE IS SOMETHING i WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT

mom: why are you raising your voice on me , I can hear you have some respect for your mother

me : sorry forget it

why old people get more stubborn with age and not admitting they have problems is beyond me

 

[Biestmann]

My mom's hearing is quite bad and has been for quite some time. I had urged her to get a hearing aid for years. Her specialist always told her that her environment should just deal with it. I told her many times that's bullshit. So, after an endless struggle, she finally has a pair. But now she barely wears it because "they fell on the ground while adjusting [her] mask at the mall" one time.

I didn't know that the strain of listening harder had an impact on one's mental capacity. I'll tell her to scare her into wearing it more often.

 

[ZedLilIndPum]

As someone who developed hearing loss in my 40's and now use hearing aids, I can say that it's a hard thing to admit to yourself that you need one, that it's your problem instead of everyone else's. Once you can put away your pride a bit, though, you'll find that there are some amazing hearing aids that are practically invisible and that it's just not as big a deal as you fear. They are FUCKING expensive though.

 

[Wag]

mom: why are your raising your voice on me , I can hear you have some respect for you mother

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Yup. "Don't yell at me!!! You don't need to yell!!". 🙄

Money is not the issue for my mom, what insurance doesn't cover she can.

 

[Airegin]

Get her an amplified telephone. It's a good start and better than nothing.

 

[MrRob]

Bro they have hearing aids now with Bluetooth. Shit's wild.

 

[Buckle]

"Mom, you cough like you're hacking up a lung, stop smoking."

*looks at you with annoyance like they're a petulant teenager*

 

[Wag]

Bro they have hearing aids now with Bluetooth. Shit's wild.

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I know. She hardly ever uses her cell (flip-phone), forget about a smart phone.

 

[ivantod]

I am on the same boat with you OP

mom here something I wanted to talk to you about

mom: what ?!

me: HERE IS SOMETHING i WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT

mom: why are your raising your voice on me , I can hear you have some respect for you mother

me : sorry forget it

why old people get more stubborn with age and not admitting they have problems is beyond me

Click to shrink...

Oh god, are you me?

I have this exact conversation over and over with my father. Then it segues into telling me that I "mumble" and that's why he doesn't understand me and not because I don't speak loud enough. Of course, like others here, nobody else in my life has ever complained that I mumble nor does anybody else have problems understanding me.

I don't live in the same country as my parents, so most of the time we only talk over the phone/facetime video and that just makes things worse, to the point that it actually affects our relationship as it's difficult for me to have a proper conversation with him and when on the phone usually my mum has to act as a "translator" of sorts.

It's so incredibly annoying.

 

[TaySan]

My mom and dad fight every night because they can't hear each other talk and think the other is ignoring the other one. I told them both getting hearing aids would be a good investment for them and everyone in the house. lol

 

[Combo]

I tried explaining to her that I can't have a meaningful conversation with her if she doesn't hear half of what I'm saying, but she doesn't seem to get it. On top of that there's proof that the decline of the elderly's mental acuity is much faster if they can't hear well- the harder they work to hear, the faster the decline.

Click to shrink...

My Dad can't hear well but is mentally sharp because of his tablet use. He turns it on full blast to listen to things.

 

[Airegin]

I know. She hardly ever uses her cell (flip-phone), forget about a smart phone.

Click to shrink...

Then consider getting her an amplified cell phone with an equalizer to boost the treble.

 

[Wag]

Then consider getting her an amplified cell phone with an equalizer to boost the treble.

Click to shrink...

She won't use it.

She already has an amplified landline phone and still can't hear what I'm saying.

 

[Samenamenick]

My mom had this issue a few years back, I thought she was going deaf. The neighbors started to complain about her TV being so loud. Went to doctor to diagnose and look at options...turns out it was earwax, lol.

 

[TheDestructiveSquirrel]

Haha, I know what you mean

It's even worse when they have insurance and the means to get them but refuse to go get them

 

[Airegin]

She won't use it.

She already has an amplified landline phone and still can't hear what I'm saying.

Click to shrink...

That's a shame. Try to convince her to see an audiologist for a simple hearing test, not for hearing aids. It's important that she acknowledges her hearing loss first.

5 stages of hearing loss

People diagnosed with hearing loss often experience the same stages as those facing serious or terminal illness. Learn about the 5 stages of hearing loss.

www.hearinglink.org

 

[Wag]

That's a shame. Try to convince her to see an audiologist for a simple hearing test, not for hearing aids. It's important that she acknowledges her hearing loss first.

5 stages of hearing loss

People diagnosed with hearing loss often experience the same stages as those facing serious or terminal illness. Learn about the 5 stages of hearing loss.

www.hearinglink.org

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I did. She made an appointment and didn't go. 🙄

 

[Airegin]

I did. She made an appointment and didn't go. 🙄

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Did she not go because she felt she had to get hearing aids right away? Keep trying to convince her to get a hearing test. Just the test and nothing else. It will still take a while after that for her to accept her hearing loss.

 

[Wag]

Did she not go because she felt she had to get hearing aids right away? Keep trying to convince her to get a hearing test. Just the test and nothing else. It will still take a while after that for her to accept her hearing loss.

Click to shrink...

She didn't go because she's stubborn. On top of that she's paranoid which doesn't help- everybody's a thief, they're all out to steal her money, etc, etc.

 

[Smokey_Run]

My grandmother is the same way. Both my mom and I have tried to tell her she needs hearing aids, but nope! She says she hears things just fine, but I can literally be in the living room talking to her and she doesn't acknowledge me at times. She also tries to say hearing aids are for old people... she's 83.

 

[Seirith]

I have taken care of both my aunt and my grandmother, I totally understand you.

Stubborn as can be!

 

[Airegin]

She didn't go because she's stubborn. On top of that she's paranoid which doesn't help- everybody's a thief, they're all out to steal her money, etc, etc.

Click to shrink...

You'll really have to get it done though. All she needs is a simple hearing test and nothing else. Don't even mention hearing aids. Not even a free trial.

I'm an audiologist so I kinda know what I'm talking about.

 

[LunaSerena]

She didn't go because she's stubborn. On top of that she's paranoid which doesn't help- everybody's a thief, they're all out to steal her money, etc, etc.

Click to shrink...

Why don't you drive her to the appointment? If she starts trying to give you the slip, guilt her - "Mom, I took time off from work for this" or "Mom, do you hate that much as to make me waste the trip here"?

It isn't the nicest tactic, but I usually just go with that whenever my mother starts getting stubborn with going to the doctor or making her annual check ups.

 

[Wag]

Why don't you drive her to the appointment? If she starts trying to give you the slip, guilt her - "Mom, I took time off from work for this" or "Mom, do you hate that much as to make me waste the trip here"?

It isn't the nicest tactic, but I usually just go with that whenever my mother starts getting stubborn with going to the doctor or making her annual check ups.

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I live in another state- hence the communication issue.

 

[sirap]

My mom doesn't have hearing loss but she still chooses to ignore me lol

But yes, it's hard to get older people, especially your parents, to come to terms with their age. My dad needs glasses but he refuses to wear them, and that's on top of a whole heap of lifestyle changes he needs to make.

 

[Nikus]

Both my parents are pissing me off with this too. I don't understand what the deal is.
Your eyesight is bad: you get a freaking pair of glasses. Your hearing is awful: get a damn hearing aid.
IT'S SIMPLE.

 

[Herr Starr]

My grandmother is frustrating in this way. The first few years when it became apparent that she was losing her hearing, she wouldn't admit to it and would pretend to hear the rest of us even when she couldn't. As things deteriorated, she eventually had to admit it to herself and start using a hearing aid, but I don't really feel like even that is working at this point. I kind of suspect that she's not using the kind of aid she needs in her condition out of some form for misplaced pride. These days, she has no idea what we're saying if she's not looking straight at us and we're basically yelling at her. All this despite actually using hearing aids.

It's the pretending-to-hear-us part that really annoys me. If you didn't hear what we said, just say so! Not really knowing if she actually heard me or not (because she's nodding and agreeing) makes it feel so pointless to even say anything to begin with.

 

[Thorrgal]

In this case is my father...he says that with the hearing aid he can hear all the noises and it's really troubling.

I can still talk to him on the phone though, so is not as bad (yet)

 

[Airegin]

My grandmother is frustrating in this way. The first few years when it became apparent that she was losing her hearing, she wouldn't admit to it and would pretend to hear the rest of us even when she couldn't. As things deteriorated, she eventually had to admit it to herself and start using a hearing aid, but I don't really feel like even that is working at this point. I kind of suspect that she's not using the kind of aid she needs in her condition out of some form for misplaced pride. These days, she has no idea what we're saying if she's not looking straight at us and we're basically yelling at her. All this despite actually using hearing aids.

It's the pretending-to-hear-us part that really annoys me. If you didn't hear what we said, just say so! Not really knowing if she actually heard me or not (because she's nodding and agreeing) makes it feel so pointless to even say anything to begin with.

Click to shrink...

Sounds like she needs to see her audiologist for adjustments. Or maybe the ear piece is simply clogged with ear wax.

 

[Austriacus]

I live in another state- hence the communication issue.

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Hate to break it to you, but unless you can make time and just go there to force the thing, its just gona get worse. My mother is also very stubborn with getting old, literally had to drag her to the doctor and remind her every time to make her appointment. Took me almost 1 year of all that nonsense till she finally started doing it by herself and now gets a complete checkup every 6 months.

 

[Herne]

Mine knows she has bad hearing, she just can't afford a hearing aid.

 

[Venatio]

FWIW, hearing aids are in the $5000 range and are not covered by insurance.

 

[Sai]

Becoming the parent of my parent is a surreal fucking thing that I'm not prepared for and yet....

 

[PlateOfShrimp]

It's tough to grapple with. I'm 30, and my hearing sucks. I'm not at the point where a hearing aid is necessary, but once you're at that point, you have to come to terms with being disabled, and most people aren't going to want to do that.

 

[Zero-ELEC]

My dad is the same way. He refuses to even get a consultation with a doctor about his hearing loss. Thinks it makes him look old or something. Like, come on.

 

[Just Some Rando]

For those concerned about the 3-5k pricing, Costco/Kirkland have a hearing aid department (link). Not sure if it's in all stores. They carry several brands, and most of the pricing is significantly lower than what you'd normally see.

 

[Deleted member 41178]

Lol, my wife goes through this pretty much weekly with her Dad, it's so frustrating I generally just leave the room.

He spent close to 10k on hearing aids(not sure what the term actually is) but now refuses to use them.

It actually killed our monthly Zoom family quizzes because everyone was so fed up with it.

 

[Prinz Eugn]

She didn't go because she's stubborn. On top of that she's paranoid which doesn't help- everybody's a thief, they're all out to steal her money, etc, etc.

Click to shrink...

Tell her it's harder to steal from someone who isn't STONE DEAF