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Monthly Writing Challenge April 2023: Through the Looking Glass

Run_64bit

Run_64bit

Member
Oct 28, 2017
218
zNaqNO4.png



Theme: Through the Looking Glass

Word Limit: 5000

Submission Deadline Friday, April 21st by 11:59 PM Pacific.

Voting begins Saturday, April 22nd, and goes until Friday, April 28th at 11:59 PM Pacific.

Optional Secondary Objective: Change. Does your story involve human-to-animal transformations a la Animorphs? Perfect! Does your protagonist pay for something with pocket change? That works too! It's your secondary, make it the change you desire.

Join the discord server if you haven't already.
https://discord.gg/zc3qJjU

If you're new to the group and haven't found the general Writing OT yet, here it is:
https://www.resetera.com/threads/writersera-ot-publish-before-you-die.369/

Submission Guidelines:

- One entry per poster.
- Collaborations between two posters are welcome for all challenges, but they cannot also write a second submission individually. Collabs get 1.5X the stated word count maximum, rounded down to the nearest divisible-by-5 integer. Special collaborative challenges may have different rules.
- All submissions must be written during the time of the challenge.
- Using the topic as the title of your piece is discouraged.
- Keep to the word count!
- See image, ask for help if you have trouble viewing.
- To submit work on behalf of another person, add a line for #author [name]

entrypost.jpg


Voting Guidelines:

- Three votes per voter. Please denote in your voting your 1st (3 pts), 2nd (2 pts), and 3rd (1 pt) place votes. You may add an honorable mention (HM).
- Please read all submissions before voting.
- You must vote in order to be eligible to win the challenge.
- When voting ends, the winner gets a collective pat on the back, and starts the new challenge using the thread creation Template

What if I win but I am too shy to make the new challenge?
You can pass on the new challenge honors to the second place winner.

Miscellaneous:

I missed this until too late. When's the next challenge?
They generally run every month. The writing period goes for the first three weeks of a month, and the voting period is the last week of the month. Any extra days provided by the Gregorian calendar are considered a grace period.
If you've missed one challenge, you only have to wait a short time for the next one. Active users will happily ping you on request when a new thread is made.
Previous challenges can be found in the Thread Archive
Thanks to C.B. For the lovely banners, and ashes for the entry finding script, and all the users who have contributed to the rules and methods of the regular contests.
Here is our full, expanded FAQ
 
FlowersisBritish

FlowersisBritish

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,396
I've been mulling over ways to get out of my comfort zone but honestly not a lot's been popping out in my mind. I really wanna try and challenge myself with something new, but all my ideas are swathed in a lot of familiar tropes I already like. At the same time, when I think of outlandish things I'm not actually that interested in them as stories.
 
zulux21

zulux21

Member
Oct 25, 2017
20,390
FlowersisBritish said:
I've been mulling over ways to get out of my comfort zone but honestly not a lot's been popping out in my mind. I really wanna try and challenge myself with something new, but all my ideas are swathed in a lot of familiar tropes I already like. At the same time, when I think of outlandish things I'm not actually that interested in them as stories.
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Obviously you should write a first person present tense hunger games version of alice in wonderland o.o
 
OP
OP
Run_64bit

Run_64bit

Member
Oct 28, 2017
218
FlowersisBritish said:
I've been mulling over ways to get out of my comfort zone but honestly not a lot's been popping out in my mind. I really wanna try and challenge myself with something new, but all my ideas are swathed in a lot of familiar tropes I already like. At the same time, when I think of outlandish things I'm not actually that interested in them as stories.
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Hmmm, maybe take one of your ideas but tell it from the point of view of the antagonist or a bystander? That could be fun. Or you could try a non-linear story structure; writing things out of order can be an interesting challenge
 
FlowersisBritish

FlowersisBritish

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,396
Run_64bit said:
Hmmm, maybe take one of your ideas but tell it from the point of view of the antagonist or a bystander? That could be fun. Or you could try a non-linear story structure; writing things out of order can be an interesting challenge
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Writing from a different POV does sound like a good idea. I dunno, maybe I'm just in the mood for some classic writing excercises?
 
OP
OP
Run_64bit

Run_64bit

Member
Oct 28, 2017
218
I managed to come up with a general idea this week, though now I need to figure out how to make it a story…
 
OP
OP
Run_64bit

Run_64bit

Member
Oct 28, 2017
218
FlowersisBritish said:
Nice! I find trying to think about what would likely change by the end helps me at least form a bit of a story structure in my head when I've only got a little bit to work with.
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Yeah, that's good advice. I came up with something driving home from the in-laws today, so I'm gonna run with that and see where it takes me.
 
OP
OP
Run_64bit

Run_64bit

Member
Oct 28, 2017
218
Made some progress on my story this week, though I'm not sure I'm loving it so far...

How's everyone else doing?
 
OP
OP
Run_64bit

Run_64bit

Member
Oct 28, 2017
218
Claire Delune said:
I'm in the revision phase and I'm trying to do a thing with contextual clues telling a story alongside the main narrative and I don't know how well it's going.
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That sounds challenging, but also really interesting. Curious to see the final result!

FlowersisBritish said:
Haven't written anything down yet. Or done my taxes. So great. I'm doing great...
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Hang in there. Doing taxes is miserable, but at least it's only once a year.
 
OP
OP
Run_64bit

Run_64bit

Member
Oct 28, 2017
218
I've got a funeral and long weekend coming up, so here's my entry for the month.

#title: A Living Legend
WC: 4142
#entry

resetera

Hope other people's stories are coming along!
 
FlowersisBritish

FlowersisBritish

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,396
Whelp i've got something started. Depression came at me pretty hard today, so its nice to at least get a scene going I guess.
 
Everybody Lies

Everybody Lies

Member
Oct 28, 2017
6,262
I got my dates screwed up and thought today was tomorrow. I'll have something in then. I don't mind if it isn't judged, but would appreciate if it is read.
 
Claire Delune

Claire Delune

10 Years in the Making
Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,293
Greater Seattle Area
Alright, feedback because I read them all this week already:

Run_64bit: Before isekai was a thing, this was exactly the sort of stuff I was writing as a 15yo console warrior. Though my own efforts were about a protagonist fighting his way out of Doom and the idea of a machine that would zap you into Street Fighter 2. The first act of this was laden with a laundry list of They Would Never Do Thats that took me quite a distance out of the story because I was taking the event at face value, but then the second act happened and kind of mooted all that. It was a swerve that left me wondering how and why and we never really get an answer.

Claire Delune: This is the most self-conscious story I've written in a long time because I was trying to stretch the muscles a bit beyond just the straightforward surface narrative and tell an underlying story. It's difficult to know if I hit the mark, because obviously I know what's happening because I wrote it. But what's going on in the background here is that Alice's father asphyxiated himself with a nitrogen canister and Alice covered it up. The suicide is probably explicit enough, Alice covering it up probably less so, and I'm not going to be surprised if no one gets the method.

FlowersisBritish: Speaking as someone who's been having a really rough year up until like three weeks ago, I can relate to the lacking energy for writing, as I've been somewhat plagued by it despite my best intentions and desires to participate this year. I think you actually told me this story before, or at least the one-sentence summation about what had happened. Thanks for sharing it with all of us, I know that the personal/autobiographical stuff can mean putting yourself out there more than we're used to.

Everybody Lies: The part that sticks out to me the most in this is where the protagonist asks the seller of the mirror if he wants to count the money, because, like, dude, it's four bills. You can eyeball that pretty quickly 😄This could probably stand to trim down the search for Oreo through the house, and the conversation between Abel and his reflection could use some tightening up. It kind of makes sense that he would quibble over the rules since he's a lawyer, but it's not particularly exciting. Question, though: If people who touch the mirror get stuck in the mirror, how does the information about the consequences of breaking the mirror ever travel back and keep people from breaking it?


Votes:
1. Everybody Lies
2. FlowersisBritish
3. Run_64bit
 
OP
OP
Run_64bit

Run_64bit

Member
Oct 28, 2017
218
Claire Delune said:
Run_64bit: Before isekai was a thing, this was exactly the sort of stuff I was writing as a 15yo console warrior. Though my own efforts were about a protagonist fighting his way out of Doom and the idea of a machine that would zap you into Street Fighter 2. The first act of this was laden with a laundry list of They Would Never Do Thats that took me quite a distance out of the story because I was taking the event at face value, but then the second act happened and kind of mooted all that. It was a swerve that left me wondering how and why and we never really get an answer.
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Haha, yeah, I didn't come up with many ideas for my own topic, so I decided to swerve into fan-fiction mode, which was amusing to put together, but I'd be lying if I thought the result was cohesive.
 
OP
OP
Run_64bit

Run_64bit

Member
Oct 28, 2017
218
Feedback:

Claire Delune: In the Shadow of the Sun

Mixed feelings here. On one hand, it was a well-written rumination on important societal topics that felt deeply personal in its tone. On the other hand, the mood was harsh, the world-building left me with more questions than answers, and there wasn't much narrative tension or underlying conflict to keep me invested in Alice's actions. Rather, she felt a bit like a vessel for introducing the topics you wanted to discuss. So, overall, I thought your voice came through and the topic was timely, but it was a bit of a tough read for me (perhaps by design?)

FlowersisBritish: A personal story

Kudos for posting something so personal. I don't know if I will ever be brave enough to do that. I hope you feel better and you should never feel ashamed of taking a break. I have taken long breaks from writing before when it feels like too much, and it can bring back the enthusiasm in an unexpected way when you return to it.

Everybody Lies: Seven Years of Bad Luck

Had a lot of fun with this one! The idea of a mirror dimension reminded me of something (maybe the horror film Oculus? Can't remember the exact plot there), but your framing around buying a cursed mirror from a shady Craig's list seller was amusing. I do think the initial search for Oreo was a little long, and a bit more description of the mirror realm would have helped me visualize the back half, but overall, a fun read. Nice job!

Votes:
1. EverybodyLies
2. Claire
3. Flowers
 
Everybody Lies

Everybody Lies

Member
Oct 28, 2017
6,262
1.Claire Delune: In The Shadow of The Sun: I thought this was well written and the dialogue very crisp and authentic. These felt like people that had a history together. I do wish that we get to see more conflict in the piece and I would have liked a little more clarity on Alice's father's death and a deeper sense of their feelings on the subject. I enjoyed your world building, but I had some questions about things. Then again, there is only so much you can fit in 5000 words. Some real nice work here.
2. A Living Legend: Run_64bit I thought this was well written too. I don't mind an open ended ending, but for some reason I wanted to know how things resolved after the fight here.
3. A Personal Story: Flowers The one thing I was curious about and left me wanting was I wanted to know if your mother's motivation was one of competing religions or she was opposed to religion altogether. Perfectly understandable if you don't want to answer. And congrats on getting something in when you are going through it. I had too much and not enough all at once for the last few months and I don't know if I could have cobbled together what you did. Thanks for sharing it.
 
FlowersisBritish

FlowersisBritish

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,396
Run: This was all played a little too straight for my liking. Its a concept that lends itself well to the absurd, but everything is just very serious and a little mundane. I kept hoping for something extreme like the MC being a cringey super fan that's maybe a bit too much, or the zelda actors being a bit too in character to the awkwardness of the guests. Just something to add a bit of friction and flavor to this. That said, I do like how you just went right in with zelda, but this is a video game forum. We all know who tingle is. I think you could have gotten away with a lot less explaining what zelda is and hit us with some real deep cuts of zelda lore. Also I too am excited for the new zelda game.

Hot take: these threads could always stand for more video game talk in my opinion! Its not like a mod's gonna come in and tell us to get back to talking about writing or anything.

Claire: While this had really strong characterization, and your prose is always great, this felt more a musing on how terrible the world could be. Which granted, you showed a fucking bleak and dismal world, and I love the subtle implications of milk being tough to get and how much that says while only being such a small detail. But in terms of an actual story, I dunno it felt like the emotional heart of it was kind of at the end since the beginning, and there wasn't a lot of change by the end. If I were to break it down, your MC basically skips an important test to smoke weed with her GF, then comes home. That's it. I actually don't think you need a lot of bombastic stuff to make a good story, but this really just felt like an excuse for them to talk about how terrible the world was more than anything. Also it kind of had a tough time grabbing me because I think the fear of population collapse is a dumb fear so i was always gonna have a tough time buying it.

Everybody Lies: The story felt a bit longer than it needed to be imo. Buying stuff from a sketchy guy from craigslist is a fun start to the story, but it could have always been a bit sketchier and after that the story doesn't really pick up until the MC gets dragged into the mirror. That said, I did enjoy the mirror conversation, but more importantly I really like the ending. I think its really interesting for a dark, horror movie-style curse to fall on a terminally ill person and that kind of ruining said curse. It's an interesting idea I wish was explored a bit more, but you should totally pocket it and maybe try it out in another story at some point.

Flowersisme: For the record, I am working on other creative stuff, just writing has been hard. I'm currently editing a horror novel with the premise being basically "what if the ending of Pet Semetary was the beginning?" and I just finished a MASSIVE outline for a gladiatoral gay fantasy novel very elden ring inspired. Just ya know, actually writing something new is haaaaard. Also to answer Everybody Lies's question: it wasn't a religious thing as much as my mom just did not want my little sister and me baptized. It was a control thing as much for her as for my dad.

Votes
  1. Everybody Lies
  2. Claire
  3. Run
 
OP
OP
Run_64bit

Run_64bit

Member
Oct 28, 2017
218
FlowersisBritish said:
Run: This was all played a little too straight for my liking. Its a concept that lends itself well to the absurd, but everything is just very serious and a little mundane. I kept hoping for something extreme like the MC being a cringey super fan that's maybe a bit too much, or the zelda actors being a bit too in character to the awkwardness of the guests. Just something to add a bit of friction and flavor to this. That said, I do like how you just went right in with zelda, but this is a video game forum. We all know who tingle is. I think you could have gotten away with a lot less explaining what zelda is and hit us with some real deep cuts of zelda lore. Also I too am excited for the new zelda game.
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You know, I started out with only my main character playing it straight and everyone else disappointing him with their lack of knowledge. Maybe I should have kept going in that vein...ah well...

More importantly, here's the point tally:
  1. Everybody Lies - 9 points
  2. Claire - 7 points
  3. Tie - Run & Flowers - 4 points
Congrats on the win, Everybody Lies!
 
Everybody Lies

Everybody Lies

Member
Oct 28, 2017
6,262
Claire Delune said:
Everybody Lies: The part that sticks out to me the most in this is where the protagonist asks the seller of the mirror if he wants to count the money, because, like, dude, it's four bills. You can eyeball that pretty quickly 😄This could probably stand to trim down the search for Oreo through the house, and the conversation between Abel and his reflection could use some tightening up. It kind of makes sense that he would quibble over the rules since he's a lawyer, but it's not particularly exciting. Question, though: If people who touch the mirror get stuck in the mirror, how does the information about the consequences of breaking the mirror ever travel back and keep people from breaking it?


Votes:
1. Everybody Lies
2. FlowersisBritish
3. Run_64bit
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Oddly enough I was paid 425 bucks a week ago and it was short a hundred dollar bill. If I didn't check I wouldn't have known until much later That is how it ended up in this story. It is harder to eyeball than you would think -- at least it was to me. Lol.


In my mind I don't think it does, it stays with the person on the other side, but it is something I'll have to think about. Good question.


FlowersisBritish said:
Congrats Everybody Lies!! Hoping the next thread I'll have more creative juices.
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Thank you, Flowers. I was just happy to get something on the page after struggling for three months. I can empathize.

Run_64bit said:
Congrats on the win, Everybody Lies!
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Thanks, Run. I suppose this means I need to come up with a theme for the next one. I'll try to have that in later in the day or early tomorrow.



. .
 
Everybody Lies

Everybody Lies

Member
Oct 28, 2017
6,262
Why don't we do madness? If someone could make the thread, I'd be most appreciative. I'm lost when it comes to formatting.
 
zulux21

zulux21

Member
Oct 25, 2017
20,390
Everybody Lies said:
Why don't we do madness? If someone could make the thread, I'd be most appreciative. I'm lost when it comes to formatting.
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do you have a secondary in mind?
I mean I have theme song in mind right away for that :P

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ek0SgwWmF9w
www.youtube.com

Muse - Madness

Watch the music video for "Madness" now!The official video for the first single from The 2nd Law, directed by Anthony Mandler.WILL OF THE PEOPLE - The new al...
www.youtube.com www.youtube.com

:P
 
Everybody Lies

Everybody Lies

Member
Oct 28, 2017
6,262
zulux21 said:
do you have a secondary in mind?
I mean I have theme song in mind right away for that :P

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ek0SgwWmF9w
www.youtube.com

Muse - Madness

Watch the music video for "Madness" now!The official video for the first single from The 2nd Law, directed by Anthony Mandler.WILL OF THE PEOPLE - The new al...
www.youtube.com www.youtube.com

:P
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I did not. If you want to add one I would not be opposed.
zulux21 said:
there you go https://www.resetera.com/threads/monthly-writing-challenge-may-2023-madness.715066/ I even was motivated and gave it an image and a poll because I could :P
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Thank you for taking the time Zulux. Much better than anything I would have posted.
 
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