I tried talking with her ironically at a BJs and she was completely adamant about Dumbledore being a bad influence I was just completely floored...so yes you're the only people I've confided in. She went off on a rant about girls liking boy toys being bad out of the blue too. Like what the actual fuck? I don't know if it's WeChat hivemind or what but I just am floored here. She ironically was the first person to introduce me to gay people too when we were teaching in China too so yeah...mind blown.
I'm sure this will come off a little more harsh than I mean it to, but it sounds like you don't really know the person you married as well as you may think.
I think it's time to have a serious talk with her to see if your values actually align in ways you'd want them to, in order to have a successful relationship.
It's never easy when a relationship goes south because you suddenly realize you're two different people and can never hope to meet the expectations of the other and are constantly feeling the looming dread that you will ruin their life.
But you hold on for so long because you feel indebted to them but honestly, the real reason is that you don't want to be alone. So you put distance between the two of you until one day you can't stand yourself or what you've been doing anymore and you lash out on them and end things dramatically and with such cold cruelty you don't recognize yourself and neither do your friends. And then...you keep spiraling out of control until you hit the absolute bottom and it is an inescapable grace you've made for yourself. You'll never escape this hell you've made. You don't even try. You know you deserve it. Because of what you did.
Well, anyway, good luck my man. Hope you guys can work things out and figure out where to go from here.
