New York Post: Doritos to make "lady-friendly" chips that don't crunch

[Cheddahz]

 

[RC.]

There was a demand for this?

 

[Biestmann]

 

[Deleted member 11995]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

* tears *

* gasp *

No. This isn't real. It can't be...

 

[Kotto]

lol

 

[qaopjlll]

Don't need a separate product for that, just pour Mountain Dew on them til they're soggy.

 

[Jeronimo]

The Onion flavored or nah?

 

[Deleted member 8197]

I'm less interested in the bizarre sexist angle and more interested in the incredible science that makes such a product possible.

 

[I Don't Like]

Yes their sensitive little ears just can't handle the sound of crunch. Bravo to Doritos for protecting our women.

 

[StuBurns]

What does that mean? They're flappy? Why would anyone want that? So bits don't get on your clothes when going HAM?

 

[Lambda Teos]

What?.... umm...


So,... a regular tortilla cut in triangle shape?

 

[Anoregon]

what the fuck

 

[KillLaCam]

Soggy chips?

 

[digitalrelic]

So this is Doritos' version of "Ah. Peace and quiet."?

 

[Skeleton]

FOR ALL!!

 

[AquaRegia]

No crunch usually means stale, right?

 

[Monkey Gland Sauce]

I think a friend mine will love these.

Spoiler

Only because she has misophonia.

 

[MikeHattsu]

Already a thread:
https://www.resetera.com/threads/pepsi’s-ceo-says-the-brand-is-considering-snacks-for-women.20750/

 

[StuBurns]

This is the best bit...

"The "low crunch" triangular snacks will even come in special packs specifically designed to fit into women's handbags."

 

[Massicot]

"You watch a lot of the young guys eat the chips, they love their Doritos, and they lick their fingers with great glee, and when they reach the bottom of the bag they pour the little broken pieces into their mouth, because they don't want to lose that taste of the flavor, and the broken chips in the bottom.

"Women would love to do the same, but they don't. They don't like to crunch too loudly in public. And they don't lick their fingers."

maybe it's just me but licking your fingers "with great glee" is an uncomfortable mental image

 

[SwampBastard]

Powerful: Pringles Has Unveiled A Line Of Damp Chips That Won't Crunch Loud Enough To Ruin A Moment Of Silence For Our Fallen Soldiers

According to Pringles executives, the new line of chips will come in the same essential flavors customers have come to love, but will be presoaked inside the Pringles tube, making the chips just damp enough to replace any crunching sounds that would disrupt a somber rendition of "Taps" with a gentle, muffled sloshing. Through extensive testing, these mushier chips have been shown to be so quiet that, when eaten, it is virtually impossible to make enough noise to ruin a moment of silence for a fallen soldier.

With the new product, which they're calling Patriot's Discretion Pringles, customers will now be able to pull out a few wet chips, place the damp snack onto their tongues or pack it into their cheeks, and let their favorite flavors melt into their mouths, all without the fear of bringing a hero's memorial to a screeching halt with a single, booming bite.

Click to shrink...

 

[Kensation]

"Everyone knows that women have a weaker jaw structure." /dorritogate

 

[Afro]

Can we can get manly Doritos that growl or roar next?

 

[Acrano]

Well... ok then. Maybe there is a market for this but ..that's just weird.

 

[nsilvias]

Just eat soggy nachos. There better than nacho flavored Doritos anyways!

 

[Polaroid_64]

Hell yes. I can't stand crunching sounds.

I don't eat chips but will buy for the girlfriend.

 

[Mr. Poolman]

ANYONE actually wants chips to lack the crunch?

 

[Kurdel]

We already had a thread for this insane news

https://www.resetera.com/threads/pepsi’s-ceo-says-the-brand-is-considering-snacks-for-women.20750/

 

[Skittles]

Damp chips? Who the fuck wants that garbage. It's like soggy cereal

 

[Kyra]

This is starting to piss me off.

 

[HStallion]

Doritos follow up will be a male focused chip that crunches so loud your ears bleed

 

[Sgt. Demblant]

 

[Landy828]

My ex would cover her mouth because she thought it was embarrassing or "not lady like" for anyone to see you eating. Maybe these are for her?

 

[SaberVS7]

How about they make a version of Doritos that aren't nasty, taste like shit, and get orange dust over everything before they make a version that makes a bunch of sexist assumptions?

 

[Zoe]

Damp chips? Who the fuck wants that garbage. It's like soggy cereal

Click to shrink...

You should probably click on that link

 

[Doctor Doggo]

I'm so confused and angry

 

[Steak Ranchero]

I think this is just called a tortilla.

 

[mclem]

Mrs Crisp will be happy.

 

[Musubi]

The fuck? I'm very confused here.

 

[Sloth Guevara]

I'd buy em :)

 

[MrFortyFive]

I'm less interested in the bizarre sexist angle and more interested in the incredible science that makes such a product possible.

Click to shrink...

.

 

[FireSafetyBear]

You might as well make a chip for everybody at this point, boost sales

 

[Deleted member 2145]

is there an actual reason for these to exist and why they would specifically appeal to women?

 

[Daingurse]

Don't know about appealing to women, but anyone suffering with Misophonia would love people to start eating these chips lol.

 

[Dook's Revenge]

Crunch all you want, unless you're a woman.

 

[Delusibeta]

Already a thread:
https://www.resetera.com/threads/pepsi's-ceo-says-the-brand-is-considering-snacks-for-women.20750/

Click to shrink...

New thread for new news.

TBH, I think the dust was a far bigger problem than the crunch.

 

[louiedog]

Remember these? It wasn't that long ago.

 

[Strafer]

The most insane news I have ever read.

What the fuck is wrong with this company.

 

[LinktothePastGOAT]

Hopefully they come in bags with pink hearts and rhinestones.

 

[Deleted member 6949]

I want a real manly dorito that I can crack a tooth on. And it should taste like butt sweat.