For one thing, when referring to hand size it helps to apply a metric to that. Typical hand measurements are based on palm circumference, and mine are ~9.5, which typically correlates to L - XL glove size. In my time with the DS4 (which is less than 10 hours total), I've found it to be slightly uncomfortable, but not unbearable. If I were to purchase a PS4, I'd likely look for alternate controller solutions.
For me the Xbox One is the most comfortable controller, followed by the 360 pad. I only used the Switch controllers for about 20 minutes, but much preferred the Pro controller to the Joy Cons (regardless if attached to the Switch, independent, or in the grip).