TLJ does none of this. You are just supposed to take it's literal words that somehow Snoke turned Bens heart and when Luke went into his bedroom to read his thoughts (already a creepy act that has no base in his established character) what he sees is so awful that it momentarily makes him forget that the future isn't set in stone and that even someone as awful as Darth Vader wasn't beyond saving and that it'd be a good idea to kill his sleeping nephew even though he's never done anything and is only guilty of dark thoughts.
I think the main point of conflict with this scene is how people interpret what the force influences are here. Like, I don't get the impression, based on how Force works with other people, that when it presents the user with ideas, it's showing them in merely in an audio-visual manner. Snoke didn't just "use literal words", he used a magic, metaphysical force that tangibly turned Ben into a disturbed little boy. In the framework of the force, being of the darkside isn't merely an action you do, it's a metaphysical state of being that you can influence with this spacemagic. You cast a magic spell and you become someone who would commit atrocities.
Similarly, I don't think "force vision' is like a movie that's played in your head. It isn't just a literal vision, but something the character either lives through or does something close to it with all the experiential elements of it. That's why for me, Luke lifting up his lightsaber works because if you look at his acting, he doesn't even seem to know he's doing it at the time. He looks outright confused at the moment that he has it ignited in his hand, more akin to someone like a soldier who just suffered a PTSD flashback. In fact, as I just wrote that, I was reminded of stories I read about how Soldiers would often accidentally point guns at their loved ones because they get startled by loud noises and forget where they are.
Luke's scene plays out like him having sensed the darkside in Ben for a long time and tried to work it out, but couldn't so he finally tries the direct method of just looking into his heart to see whats up, only to live through a scene of chaos and destruction that puts him a live threatening mindset before he comes to his senses. But if you just go by what you literally see happening, then yeah, it's an absurd overreaction.
