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Should dating platforms be held accountable for rapes/stds?

jwk94

jwk94

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Oct 25, 2017
13,457
I'm not sure if I worded the title correctly, but basically, I'm trying to ask if the various dating websites and apps should take extra steps to prevent STDs and rapes or at least to help in case something happens.

Backstory:

Last week, I met up with this girl I met off CoffeeMeetsBagel. We hit it off and saw Infinity War and went to her apartment afterwards. I noticed that it sounded like she was sobbing throughout multiple parts of the movie (not sad parts) and when we got to her place, this continued. As we walked in, she motioned to her cushions she had on the floor, arranged as a makeshift couch. She then told me she removed the real couch after she was raped last month. The dude who raped her was a Nigerian guy she met off CoffeeMeetsBagel who forced himself into her home and raped her. When she went to the police, they told her there wasn't anything they could do because the nigerian guy had provided her with false information.

In a case like this, shouldn't CMB or whatever cooperate with the police to locate the creator of the profile? Surely they have access to that person's email/phone/linked social media websites? It might not help if the person went through the extra steps to create fake links and a Google Voice number or something, but that's bettter than nothing, right?

As for the STD/Is, shouldn't these things (Tinder at the very least) offer a map of the nearest testing centers, and maybe even a guide to the various STDs within the app? I've heard Grindr lets you diclose whether or not you're HIV positive, which sounds amazing. That's a phenomenal first step in making sure people are more safe on these platforms. Why don't other services offer this?
 

Melubas

Member
Jan 4, 2018
203
I came in here ready to say no, they shouldn't, and I don't Think they should be held accountable. However they should absolutely assist police in rape investigations, no question about it. I have no idea what CoffeeMeetsBagel is but in my mind it's just the humane thing to do. As for the STD thing, sure have a question asking if the user is HIV positive, they can always not answer it. Guide to STD:s though, hmm. To me that is purely optional. If some app wants to include it sure, but I feel it's up to the individual to look that up anyway.
 
davepoobond

davepoobond

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Oct 25, 2017
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www.squackle.com
If the police were serious about her complaint they would have inquired with CMB...

Not really sure what to say since this is like 6 degrees of separation at this point
 
spineduke

spineduke

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Oct 25, 2017
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Has she tried getting in touch with someone at CMB?

How do you register on these apps? A phone number maybe?
 
hateradio

hateradio

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Oct 28, 2017
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welcome, nowhere
I feel like this was a thread about this recently, since there was an increase in STIs through the US.


I would definitely encourage apps to include free service centers. I would also encourage them to have a code of conduct and alert police when aggregated assaults of any kind happen.
 

Deleted member 25600

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Surely the police could get in contact with the site, and obtain IP info on the devices used by that account.
Sounds to me like they were being lazy.
 
DrBo42

DrBo42

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Oct 25, 2017
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Melubas said:
I came in here ready to say no, they shouldn't, and I don't Think they should be held accountable. However they should absolutely assist police in rape investigations, no question about it. I have no idea what CoffeeMeetsBagel is but in my mind it's just the humane thing to do. As for the STD thing, sure have a question asking if the user is HIV positive, they can always not answer it. Guide to STD:s though, hmm. To me that is purely optional. If some app wants to include it sure, but I feel it's up to the individual to look that up anyway.
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This. They should absolutely provide user information to authorities when a sexual assault occurs. But I'd imagine the police would make that request automatically when the details were given. Is that not a thing?
 
GAMEPROFF

GAMEPROFF

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Oct 26, 2017
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I am pretty sure that the feds could have get access to this mans data if they want, but what you told dont sounds like they even care and dont want.
This said, I disagree that dating plattforms should be held accountable.
 
OP
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jwk94

jwk94

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Oct 25, 2017
13,457
spineduke said:
Has she tried getting in touch with someone at CMB?

How do you register on these apps? A phone number maybe?
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I'm not sure. We stopped talking and I didn't think to ask.

For cmb, you link your Facebook. For Facebook, you link your email and optionally your phone number. So at the least, they know your email, because I'll get an email from cmb every day telling me about the day's swipes.
 
Flo_Evans

Flo_Evans

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Oct 25, 2017
1,250
So they didn't even do a rape kit to obtain dna?

Story seems fishy to me. She sells the couch but keeps using the app that did nothing to help her?

Why would you even bring up rape on a first date.
 
GAMEPROFF

GAMEPROFF

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Oct 26, 2017
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jwk94 said:
I'm not sure. We stopped talking and I didn't think to ask.

For cmb, you link your Facebook. For Facebook, you link your email and optionally your phone number. So at the least, they know your email, because I'll get an email from cmb every day telling me about the day's swipes.
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They can access his IP-adress and since he most likely uses an app, he could even be tracked. The police does not care and its disgusting that they dont. Whats that even for an execuse "He provided false informations", wtf? As if that would make rape ok.
 
thediamondage

thediamondage

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Oct 25, 2017
11,642
Cops can definitely request information that leads to the location of a suspect if they have reasonable evidence tying a suspect to an account, and I would guess the victim's statements should be more than enough to pass that threshold. Sounds like they just didn't want to investigate the case, thats pretty fucked up.
 
spineduke

spineduke

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Oct 25, 2017
8,796
GAMEPROFF said:
They can access his IP-adress and since he most likely uses an app, he could even be tracked. The police does not care and its disgusting that they dont. Whats that even for an execuse "He provided false informations", wtf? As if that would make rape ok.
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Yeah the biggest issue here is the responsiveness of the cops. Shame on them :/
 
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jwk94

jwk94

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Oct 25, 2017
13,457
Flo_Evans said:
So they didn't even do a rape kit to obtain dna?

Story seems fishy to me. She sells the couch but keeps using the app that did nothing to help her?

Why would you even bring up rape on a first date.
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Idk man. Some things didn't add up, but it's not really my place to question someone who says they were raped. That's fucked up.
 

Deleted member 5127

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Oct 25, 2017
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I think your ideas are good, and there's even more to improve.

I also think it's disgusting that some of these dating apps put blocking behind a paywall/limit, I have been bothered by two people in the past who kept making new accounts. There are serious stalkers on these apps.
 
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jwk94

jwk94

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Oct 25, 2017
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Thales Targaryen said:
I think your ideas are good, and there's even more to improve.

I also think it's disgusting that some of these dating apps put blocking behind a paywall/limit, I have been bothered by two people in the past who kept making new accounts. There are serious stalkers on these apps.
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What dating apps put blocking behind a pay wall?? That seems like taking things waaaayy too far.
 
ZackieChan

ZackieChan

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Oct 27, 2017
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jwk94 said:
I'm not sure. We stopped talking and I didn't think to ask.

For cmb, you link your Facebook. For Facebook, you link your email and optionally your phone number. So at the least, they know your email, because I'll get an email from cmb every day telling me about the day's swipes.
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It's difficult to make a fake email and faceFace account? How do you or anyone know that the police didn't already check all this?
 
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jwk94

jwk94

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Oct 25, 2017
13,457
ZackieChan said:
It's difficult to make a fake email and faceFace account? How do you or anyone know that the police didn't already check all this?
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I don't. I'm just saying this because none of the platforms make it obvious that they're taking those kinds of measures to protect their users.
 
spineduke

spineduke

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Oct 25, 2017
8,796
ZackieChan said:
It's difficult to make a fake email and faceFace account? How do you or anyone know that the police didn't already check all this?
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Even if its a "fake account" they can trace the IP and its connection history - even if he hops through VPNs and whatnot. There's a lot they can accomplish if they actually wanted to try helping her.
 
Flo_Evans

Flo_Evans

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Oct 25, 2017
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User Banned (2 Weeks): Attempting to derail a thread regarding sexual assault with baseless accusations. Similar previous infractions.
Eduardo Corrochio said:
What are you trying to get at?
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The op's post has a ton of extraneous detail that doesn't really make sense. The entire story could be summed up as "so I met a girl that told me she was raped by someone she meet through a dating app." Why do we know his nationality, the movie they saw, the missing couch. When people lie they tend to add lots of extra details to make the story more "real".

Now all this could have happened idk but it seemed strange. And none of it is really needed to open the discussion about what info dating apps should provide to police investigating a rape case.
 
spineduke

spineduke

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Oct 25, 2017
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No - the police can subpoena the VPN provider for logs in case they suspect criminal activity. This is pretty standard.
 
spineduke

spineduke

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Alwayscrazybacon said:
How would they know which VPN someone was using in this instance?
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A VPN will assign you another public facing IP originating from their servers - it won't mask the fact that you're using a VPN. In some cases some VPNs don't keep logs or some people go through multiple hops to try and deter backtracing attempts. I mean, I don't know how forward thinking this guy was, but there's always a mistake made somewhere along the way.
 
TheBeardedOne

TheBeardedOne

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Oct 27, 2017
22,189
Derry
They should try to help with investigations, but they should not be held accountable. It doesn't make sense for the platform -- a simple online dating site -- to be responsible for what its users do, what its users could carry and that type of thing. There are too many variables, it's not sensible to expect them to police and run background checks on every user and so forth.

There are rules and user agreements for this reason. You can't expect every person on an online dating site to be a good person, just like in regular society.

I feel for your friend though. I hope she's doing okay.
 

Almawtaa

Member
Oct 29, 2017
309
As far as I understand Police regularly request IP information from places like cmb/Tinder/Uber etc. They have whole systems in place for this sort of thing.
 
Diablos

Diablos

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Oct 25, 2017
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Uh, no. You're making a lifestyle choice when using these apps particularly for the near sole purpose of having tons of sex with a lot of people. It's on you to get tested regularly if you're going to be taking more risks sexually. It's also on you to employ common sense when deciding if you're going to have sex with someone. If it seems like a bad idea, don't do it. If you need to spend more time with someone outside of the bedroom to make sure they're not insane, so be it.

Dating apps are fun when used responsibly but if you're just constantly having sex with new people that's likely to catch up to you in some way.
 
Glasfrut

Glasfrut

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Oct 27, 2017
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jwk94 said:
After. The rape happened last month.
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Oh man. I would be so afraid of using the app after.

On topic: It's mostly on the police I think. But the platforms should be open to helping within reason. I don't think there's a major hurdle as anonimity is not a selling point. But I am not sure how you would hold the sites more accountable.
 
spineduke

spineduke

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Oct 25, 2017
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Diablos said:
Uh, no. You're making a lifestyle choice when using these apps particularly for the near sole purpose of having tons of sex with a lot of people. It's on you to get tested regularly if you're going to be taking more risks sexually. It's also on you to employ common sense when deciding if you're going to have sex with someone. If it seems like a bad idea, don't do it. If you need to spend more time with someone outside of the bedroom to make sure they're not insane, so be it.

Dating apps are fun when used responsibly but if you're just constantly having sex with new people that's likely to catch up to you in some way.
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Read the OP - she got raped. There was no common sense or choice involved here. The rapist forced his way into her house.
 
shintoki

shintoki

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Oct 25, 2017
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DrSlek said:
Surely the police could get in contact with the site, and obtain IP info on the devices used by that account.
Sounds to me like they were being lazy.
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This. Something isn't adding up. Getting the dudes number or isp shouldn't be difficult. And I see no reason why cmb or any dating platform doesn't cooperate either. Makes it safer for all, including thier business. Police really are flubbing this one.

I think they should be responsible for screening stuff like sex offenders list, but at the end. It's just a message site. As long as they cooperate easily enough with law enforcement when shit like this happens. I think they are doing thier job.
 
Diablos

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spineduke said:
Read the OP - she got raped. There was no common sense or choice involved here. The rapist forced his way into her house.
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I did read the OP and I am sorry to read that. I'm not responding to the specific situation outlined in the OP because the topic asks a very broad question. I still don't think dating apps can or should be held responsible. Enforce stricter moderation policies perhaps. But being held responsible doesn't seem realistic to me. Dating apps/sites by default are very risky, always have been. I would agree that if something bad happens, then it makes sense for law enforcement to get involved. The app shouldn't be held liable, though. The rapist should be. Don't care if he was using coffeemeetsbagle or if they met at a bar the old fashioned way.

How did he find out where she lived btw?
 
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RastaMentality

RastaMentality

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Oct 25, 2017
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I noticed when looking for STD testing csnters, it's actually a bit of a challenge to find somewhere free or affordable if you don't go through your own doctor. Every dating app should include this information imo.
 
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