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So, is this girl into me?

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fanboi

fanboi

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
6,702
Sweden
I made a thread before stating that my prev. relationship ended after 14 years, mostly due to lack of intimacy, mental health issues and... this woman at work which made me realize what I want from a SO.

Due to the last 14 years being in a relationship I am, without a better word, rusty when it comes to reading tells and whatnot.

Some bullets (we all love em don't we)?
  • She and me has known each other for... 7 years (I am a consultant and has helped her employer and now I am full time there since 2 years)? Nothing whatsoever has happened physically or mentally between us during this time, we barley spoke to each other. Then one Christmas morning we just clicked? Yes. We started talking, and by talking, I mean spent all days talking and all night working since we got no work done during day time. One day we talked 6 hours.
  • Chatting... we chat and chat and chat... when we don't talk.
  • Still, after the initial talking, we are still talking hours when we meet, take 3-hour lunches and talk talk talk talk.
  • She has a husband... which their relationship is not in a good state, like mine (- mental health issues) before the breakup. She feels no attraction and so on. I have given advice that she should reconsider her relationship but that she should give one last shoot but she has to also the put time and effort into it.
  • I confessed to her that I have quite low self-esteem when it comes to reading signs from other women since I don't expect it since why would they feel for me? She stated that she was very surprised that I thought like that since I have personality, intellect, reasoning, looks and so on. She even said, "You can get whoever you want".
  • Regarding my ex. she has stated that "Many would love to switch places with her," and "She doesn't know how good she has had it".
  • Another important part is her personality, where she has said she has never let anyone, not her husband, so close to "herself". And that I have made a huge impact on her life and personal development since I have talked and given advice.
As I said, I suck at reading signs... I talked to a co-worker and she said, "You felt the energy when you to talked to each other".

God damnit. I suck at this.
 
TheJackdog

TheJackdog

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,644
just go for it.

wondering about it wont give you any answers

EDIT:

Shit I missed the husband part. UHHH BAIL BAIL BAIL BAIL BAIL BAIL
 
Lobster Roll

Lobster Roll

signature-less, now and forever
Member
Sep 24, 2019
34,387
She's married. It doesn't matter what she's telling you about that relationship or what you've perceived. Unless their marriage is open, back off. Don't be that person.
 
NTGYK

NTGYK

Attempted to circumvent ban with an alt-account
Banned
Oct 29, 2017
3,470
This is how I know the world has adjusted to the new normal.

We get topics like this again.
 
OP
OP
fanboi

fanboi

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
6,702
Sweden
Yeees. I know about the husband and the moral fuck ups from me if I pursue... but she deserves better (which I have stated many many times), but I have also stated that she should try and focus on the relationship and make it work... if it doesn't tthen she gave it a try at least.
 
DTC

DTC

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,582
She has a husband and she's a co-worker. Talk to other women. She ain't special.
 
Viewt

Viewt

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,807
Chicago, IL
Dating someone from work is super risky. A change in dynamic like that could be harmful to both your career and personal relationship. Also, don't pursue her until things clear up with her husband. If they stay together, drop the idea. Don't be messy.

It's easy to misplace the passion for someone who reignites your desire/emotional connection as true love. But you need to play it slow to avoid this turning into a huge clusterfuck. Pursuing someone in a monogamous relationship won't end well.
 
Siggy-P

Siggy-P

Avenger
Mar 18, 2018
11,865
The only thing you need to ask yourself OP is would you able to successfully defend yourself when the husband and his shotgun comes a-knockin' because you ruined his life and marriage?
 
ClickyCal'

ClickyCal'

Member
Oct 25, 2017
59,687
fanboi said:
I mean, it isn't the 14th century anymore, or do I need to go to the Pope?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
giphy.webp
 
Titik

Titik

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,490
Uhh.....run away. Run away as far as possible.

Even if you still want to boink her knowing she is married, you guys work together. DO NOT SHIT WHERE YOU EAT, I REPEAT DO NOT SHIT WHERE YOU EAT.
 
MrS

MrS

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
4,085
Don't get involved, OP. It will end in tears for all parties. If things go south, which they will, it will fuck up your reputation, your personal life AND your job.
 
Tater

Tater

Member
Oct 30, 2017
2,594
Sounds like she's into you, it's really hard to know for sure since we just have your perspective.

Her being married is a no go, fo' sho.

If you like her, you can be honest and tell her that you're into her, but that you don't want to be "that guy". That is, she needs to figure out what she's going to do with her marriage on her own. You might just be an interesting distraction from her current problems.
 
mbpm

mbpm

Member
Oct 25, 2017
23,629
Sounds like if she really wants you, she'll make the moves that she has to make. Don't initiate a marriage destruction
 
Garp TXB

Garp TXB

Member
Apr 1, 2020
6,301
When asking these kinds of questions, it's best to start with marital status of both parties involved. Then we we can all just stop right there and say no.
 
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