• Light/Dark
  • Ever wanted an RSS feed of all your favorite gaming news sites? Go check out our new Gaming Headlines feed! Read more about it here.
  • We have made minor adjustments to how the search bar works on ResetEra. You can read about the changes here.

Terrible Life Lessons Video Games Can Teach Us

oreomunsta

oreomunsta

One Winged Slayer
The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
4,345
This is not meant to be a serious thread, so let's have some nihilistic fun with this!

Basically, what are some funny, yet horrible, life lessons you can pull out of your favorite video games, Era?

Let's post the title of the game and the life lesson, or hide the title of the game in spoilers if you want to have others guessing. I'll start with a couple of examples.

Mario Kart: It doesn't matter how hard you try to get ahead of everyone in life; one slip up, and you're at the end of the pack.

Legend of Zelda: Damaging other people's property, especially pottery, will lead you to good fortune.
 
Silencerx98

Silencerx98

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
1,289
Persona 5: As long as you're good looking and the silent type, all the girls will have no choice but to fall for you. You can even date all nine of them and the only consenquences are getting pummeled.
 

ThLunarian

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 26, 2017
1,547
If your government is corrupt, all you have to do is put together a merry band of 7-10 skilled fighters, and you can storm your nation's capital, defeat the head of state, and liberate your entire nation from the shackles of oppression
 
NewGuy

NewGuy

Member
Nov 23, 2017
151
Its okay to randomly wander into strangers houses, even if your 10 years old and travelling alone!
 
OP
OP
oreomunsta

oreomunsta

One Winged Slayer
The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
4,345
NoKisum said:
You are literally the only person who can save the entire world.

But no pressure.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

A lot of the time, too, your character just woke up and is already being asked to get a move on, so bonus lesson of "there's never time to rest"!

Too many games to apply your lesson to lol
 
SephLuis

SephLuis

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,343
Stock up on medicine, but never use it.
The next boss might be even harder.

-Every damn RPG.
 
adj_noun

adj_noun

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
17,329
If you find discarded chicken in a garbage can, you should probably eat it immediately.
 
OP
OP
oreomunsta

oreomunsta

One Winged Slayer
The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
4,345
Steven Universe said:
You can easily evade the cops by hiding or painting your car. They'll forget all about you.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

If that's GTA, couldn't you just walk into your apartment or safehouse, and the heat would magically disappear, too?

"If you're ever in trouble with the law, just go home to Netflix and chill. All your problems will go away."
 
Zekes

Zekes

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,752
You can recover from bullet wounds and most other kind of damage by crouching behind something for 10 seconds
 
Silencerx98

Silencerx98

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
1,289
Oh, since we're going all in on game logic as life lessons as well...

Basically any game with guns: Go guns blazing for hours, even in narrow corridors without ear protection and you'll be fine. You'll amass a body count in the hundreds and return home looking like a badass with your hearing still in tip top shape!
 
eKongDiddy

eKongDiddy

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 31, 2017
2,521
Beach City
oreomunsta said:
If that's GTA, couldn't you just walk into your apartment or safehouse, and the heat would magically disappear, too?

"If you're ever in trouble with the law, just go home to Netflix and chill. All your problems will go away."
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Don't you know? Cops can't swim or enter your house! You're all good and they'll forget about you in an hour or two haha.
 
Epilexia

Epilexia

Member
Jan 27, 2018
2,675
Jeff Minter's games teach me that if you have access to some drugs, is better to make an overuse of them.

 
Redcrayon

Redcrayon

Patient hunter
On Break
Oct 27, 2017
12,713
UK
Skyrim:
Bribery, corruption and terrible prison design make even being arrested for murder with the bodies at your feet, half a dozen witnesses and their possessions in your pockets no more than a minor inconvenience. Also your companions have diplomatic immunity and will gladly hold your thieved kit in the moments before the law catches up to you, even if you hand a victim's weapons and clothing to them in full view of an approaching guard.

If someone finds you skulking around their house/shop in the small hours, up to no good, reading their journal and looking through their cupboards, they'll still be happy to chat/serve you as long as you pop back after 8am.

Being the head of the thieves guild, a master assassin, and the right-hand-man to half a dozen different warring Jarls with a responsibility to protect their own people from theft, murder and bloodshed does not contain a single conflict of interest.
 
L Thammy

L Thammy

Spacenoid
Member
Oct 25, 2017
50,134
The life of the average person is spent wandering around aimlessly in one place, telling anyone who passes by the exact same thing.
 
OP
OP
oreomunsta

oreomunsta

One Winged Slayer
The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
4,345
Oh here's another one!

Megaman: The best way to success is to steal and copy the best things your opponents do, and then use it against them
 
BrickArts295

BrickArts295

GOTY Tracking Thread Master
Member
Oct 26, 2017
13,836
You see that mountain over there, you can climb it...with a horse...riding backwards....yeah.
 
NoKisum

NoKisum

Member
Nov 11, 2017
4,913
DMV Area, USA
oreomunsta said:
If that's GTA, couldn't you just walk into your apartment or safehouse, and the heat would magically disappear, too?

"If you're ever in trouble with the law, just go home to Netflix and chill. All your problems will go away."
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
In my experience, that only worked when you run into the apartment in the middle of the city in GTA IV. Because, you know, cops can't use elevators or snipe through windows.
 

Deleted member 26837

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 30, 2017
431
You have to be 17 or younger to save the world. Older than that and you aren't the one. Your life is of a merchant or cannon fodder.
 
Rory

Rory

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,159
OOT: Cutting grass might earn you a few bucks, but smashing pots and stealing their content is way more lucrative and fills your bags way faster.

MM: Staying up way past your curfew to defeat (imaginary) aliens is rewarded by promoting you to adulthood and allowing you to drink alcohol.

OOT/MM: Digging around the graveyard will reward you with hearts that extend your lifespan.

MM: If your daddy turns into a mummy it is best to lock him up in the wardrobe instead of looking for help.
 
DigitalOp

DigitalOp

Member
Nov 16, 2017
9,303
Learn footsies, and sometimes the best offense is a counter.

Take the damn shot.

Failure is progress, as long as you don't fucking die.

Whats the point of hoarding if you're not gonna buy the upgrades.
 

asun

Member
Nov 10, 2017
453
hopping on passersby or throwing things at them is a good idea. if they're bad, they'll pop and you'll get points. if they're good, they'll make cute noises!
 
nsilvias

nsilvias

Member
Oct 25, 2017
23,964
It's okay to steal - Every RPG i've played
Eating food that has gone bad is okay because it'll still give you HP. - Some games, mostly RPGs
 
PensivePen

PensivePen

Member
Oct 25, 2017
392
Trying to solve other people's personal problems almost always works out for the best. In fact sometimes you can even solve them behind the person's back without telling them about it.
 
JC Lately

JC Lately

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
615
Eating food you find on the ground or embedded in a wall is not only safe, but recommended.
 

Deleted member 10737

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
49,774
if you turn back time, your girlfriend or boyfriend didn't leave their ex for you, they left you for their ex.
 
ThEoRy...

ThEoRy...

Member
Oct 30, 2017
569
Alliance Quadrant, Local Cluster, Planet Earth
You are the chosen one. You must fulfill the prophecy and save the galaxy from the ancient evil that has once again returned. Only you can restore peace and harmony amongst the stars.


But uh, I'm still going to need you to give me 10 gold coins for this shitty sword. Now get out there and kill a bunch of giant scorpions with your bare hands for 1 gold apiece so you can afford it.




Life lessons:

Nothing in life comes free and you've got to work hard for everything you get.
 
Yossarian

Yossarian

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
13,270
Max Payne taught me that the solution to overcoming grief is only ever 9mm away.

Early Final Fantasy taught me that to travel anywhere is to engage in mass genocide.

Metal Gear taught me to question everything (Snake: Everything?!).
 
Bman94

Bman94

Member
Oct 28, 2017
2,555
Organized animal fighting is not only fun, but widely celebrated around the world.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.