Unvaxxed Grand Parents (My parents) insisting again to come to kids bday party

[daegan]

That's fine. If you feel you need to punish them, punish them. Only you know your family and your situation well enough to make that determination. I've been in countless similar situations and eventually learnt that all these pyrrhic victories were not really worth it and resulted in me punishing myself at least as much as the person who wronged me. I'm glad I realised this before it was too late, but everyone's situations are different.

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I'm so sick of seeing sanctimonious bullshit like this. This forum is (or should be) comprised of adults who get to set their own boundaries. Maybe you feel like it's worth forgiving or putting up with anything but that's your energy. Don't hold yourself up like you're the only example before some half-assed passive aggressive CYA statement at the end.

OP, it's hard now and gonna get harder even if this subsides largely because kids get older and you have to keep them safe. but tbh almost everything has been tough with a young kid during this (ours was born at the start of March in 2020.) I wish you luck and good health.

 

[nicoga3000]

We're still fighting this with my family. Our daughter is 5 months old at this point, and they still haven't met her.

It's less about the transmission rate of vaccinated vs unvaccinated and more about the boundaries and rules we've set in place. They keep trying to guilt us into it or offering options to test and all that jazz...But we have done fine without them up to this point. The early months are the hardest, and having that support would have been awesome. But here we are, 1 baby and 4 dogs, doing just fine.

 

[Cipherr]

The "You are only hurting yourself!" takes are wild to me. It's so easy to see why we are in these situations to begin with considering the way we frame this stuff.

The OP is not only in the right, but he isn't the one obstructing things, his parents are the ones who could most easily and safely remedy this (for a cost of $0).... And yet, take after take after take saying how he needs to capitulate. Its wild.

No wonder when people take these positions they dig their heels in and won't relent. Even in situations where they are scientifically & verifiably in the wrong, people are lining up to 'meet in the middle' on nonsense just to avoid conflict/confrontation.

 

[PAFenix]

That's fine. If you feel you need to punish them, punish them. Only you know your family and your situation well enough to make that determination. I've been in countless similar situations and eventually learnt that all these pyrrhic victories were not really worth it and resulted in me punishing myself at least as much as the person who wronged me. I'm glad I realised this before it was too late, but everyone's situations are different.

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It is no punishment for us by keeping ourselves separated from these toxic people. To be clear, we haven't cut ties with all of our family, just our siblings (everyone else is vaccinated) that we hadn't seen much of anyway since my wife and I had our kids. Thank you for at least acknowledging that our situations are different.

let me guess, both parties just move on like nothing is wrong and yall pretend to be happy around each other?

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There is nothing my parents and my wife's parents would love more than for this to happen. My wife, feeling guilty for missing lunch yesterday, called her mother this evening and she got hit with a guilt trip....again, calling her brother "he who should not be named because you hate him." (We never said this) She said he was beside himself because he broke up with another girl he was dating and he wanted to see his "favorite niece and nephew" to cheer himself up. How my wife is being unfair by "keeping them away" while he's "entitled to his opinion" about the dangers of the vaccine and wanting to ensure he can "still have kids" in the future.

Long tangent to say: The grandparents want US to move on. They'll pretend that if we all meet again, everything will be perfectly fine. After all, they got what they were after....... whereas my wife and I will be sitting there staring at family who don't care enough for us to do the basic of basics.

 

[Like the hat?]

You're their kid. You deserve their respect. They don't deserve anything from you.

 

[Laughing Banana]

Your family, your rules.

As simple as that.

Although I find it really sad that something like that could break a family. You'd think people would prioritize their family over stupid propaganda and shit, but alas.

 

[captive]

There is nothing my parents and my wife's parents would love more than for this to happen. My wife, feeling guilty for missing lunch yesterday, called her mother this evening and she got hit with a guilt trip....again, calling her brother "he who should not be named because you hate him." (We never said this) She said he was beside himself because he broke up with another girl he was dating and he wanted to see his "favorite niece and nephew" to cheer himself up. How my wife is being unfair by "keeping them away" while he's "entitled to his opinion" about the dangers of the vaccine and wanting to ensure he can "still have kids" in the future.

Long tangent to say: The grandparents want US to move on. They'll pretend that if we all meet again, everything will be perfectly fine. After all, they got what they were after....... whereas my wife and I will be sitting there staring at family who don't care enough for us to do the basic of basics.

Click to shrink...

Can I ask, are you and your family white?

 

[Dr. Mario]

It sounds like you still think you can outrun Omicron.

 

[ConfusingJazz]

Stop it with "punishing your grandparents" nonsense.

Fuck that noise.

The grandparents are punishing the child. The grandparents are separating themselves from the child. The grandparents aren't the victim here.

captive ain't doing a damn thing except protecting his kid.

 

[DevilMayGuy]

I also feel like Era is one of the worst places to get advice on this lol.

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Ain't that the truth lol
Doesn't sound like their relationship is all that good, though. I think OP might as well stick to their guns because it's not like they seem to be losing much other than the rare visit from mom and dad every year or so

 

[PAFenix]

Can I ask, are you and your family white?

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Yeah.

 

[captive]

Yeah.

Click to shrink...

haha yep. its happened a few times in my family. someone is aggrieved and we're supposed to move on and pretend it never happened "for the sake of the family" like we're mafioso or some shit.