Were your parents racist when you were a kid?

[Elfotografoalocado]

I would say, I'm lucky that my parents have never been explicitly racist or encouraged isolation or xenophobia or not wanting to share with people of the world, but quite the contrary.
Which doesn't mean they have never been casually racist, because they have. So I guess, I'm in a bit of a situation as to what to answer in the poll. My dad's family is very racist tho, very "rich conservative" kind of people who absolutely harbor hate against foreigners and people of other origins and will go on rants and things like that, which has soured me on them these past years.

 

[Mr Jones]

My parents went out of their way to explain not all non-black people are cross burning bigots and that when they marched in the 60's there were plenty of them right beside them.

None of my family is racist. Thank God. I can't imagine having to do backflips to maintain relationships with people that think other people aren't people. Or are less people than them. Had to let go of an ex cause of that shit. Got tired of being her dark secret. Cause her parents would disown her if they knew she loved someone that looked like me.

Click to shrink...

Oof, that hit home. What rocked me was that old girl's dad was cool, it was her mom that was psycho.

My dad seemed very distrustful of white people. My mom didn't seem to have an issue with them. I'd get a lot of side eye if I dated someone white, though.

 

[Militaratus]

My mum is a racist, if the service she gets is subpar she immediately says "damn foreigners", typical FYGM attitude.

 

[bionic77]

I wouldn't say my parents were racists per se, but in the 80s everyone seemed to see different people through stereotypes. It was not just my parents and now it seems like such a long time ago.

 

[Deleted member 21875]

My dad was oddly specific in that he never liked middle eastern or arabic men, he never said racist things as such though - just very mistrustful. But he was fine about everyone else. My mum is still about and certainly not racist, but has already been said of the 80's when I grew up, people were often viewed in a stereotypical fashion.

 

[Blue Skies]

What hurts me is how low the "they changed" choice is.
people really are who they is

 

[PoppaBK]

I would say no. Some diet racism definitely slipped in every now and then but overall they were accepting of everyone. We lived in a 96%+ white area so the diet racism was just ignorance.

 

[Cyanity]

I sure did hear the phrases "towelhead" and "Sand-******" a few times in the years following 9/11.

My parents have severely mellowed out over the years, though.

 

[coopolon]

Despite my dad being a pretty hard core Republican in the 80s and 90s I cannot recall a single instance of anything remotely racist then. We were a military family living overseas on bases and so were surrounded by people of all different colors from as young as I can remember. Oddly I can't ever recall him talking to us about race though, it just wasn't a thing. Fortunately all of my siblings and I grew up okay but now as a father myself I do think you have to be proactive on this topic instead of just acting right and hoping your kids see it.

he has since become pretty liberal and acknowledges he was wrong about the politics back then. He still can't stand the Clintons though and really did not like having to vote for her (he is in a swing state so couldn't go for third party).

 

[Deleted member 12790]

No, and they would have disciplined me if I were to have said something racist in front of them.

 

[DOT_mjo]

Nah I couldn't imagine having racist parents. My parents are Puerto Rican and both parents grew up around tons of other Latinos and Blacks so thankfully I never knew what it was like having racist parents.

 

[Twonny]

I don't ever recall them being racist when I was a kid, but as an adult I realize they're racist as fuck. Shit sucks.

 

[MrNewVegas]

I highly doubt anybody ITT did not have racist parents. Media has made us all racist.

 

[Grapezard]

No clue about my mom, I've never known her very well. My dad is the boomer kind of racist, which I didn't see surface until I was a teen. He dials it back when I'm around.

 

[Firewithin]

dad is (typical fox news boomer) and i feel like my mom was getting there before she died

 

[StriderHiryu]

Both my parents are immigrants and from different countries, and moved to London. However, sadly one of my mother drifted from not having an ounce of racism in them to being slightly racist toward other minorities. This I believe is due to the influence of friends and circles she keeps and also some bad experiences, such as being mugged. Sad really.

For me it shows you that people's opinions can be easily influenced, often for the worse.

 

[shotopunx]

No, fortunately. We were Irish immigrants in Chicago when I was a kid, and through my dad playing football (soccer) our community was mix of people various immigrant groups, whom we have BBQs, parties, etc with. This was on top of many of their co-workers and our friends being black or latino.

My little sister, when she was about 4, said she didn't like black people while we were in the car. My mother slammed the brakes, pulled her out of the car, and proceeded to put the fear of god in her to a level I haven't seen repeated to this day.

I consider my self very privileged to have parents that sit pretty left wing.

 

[Deleted member 12790]

I highly doubt anybody ITT did not have racist parents. Media has made us all racist.

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Legit feel bad that racism is so abound that this is how people feel. With regard to my parents, they would talk openly about race relations to me and my sister when we were older in high school. They outright never bought any notion of racial superiority, although they taught us about the overt class system in America.

Both of my parents grew up ultra poor, my dad was pulled from middle school to go work to support his 11 brothers as the oldest, and my mom was middle child of 7. Their perspective is you don't have to be any race to be poor, they grew up around poor black kids, white kids, Hispanic kids, Asian kids, etc. They resented people with money, but didn't see any specific race as being exclusively in power.

Worth noting, my parents grew up in jim crow america and were subject to segregation. My mom tells me stories of being thrown out of "whites only" laundry places because she, as a child, thought they meant "white clothes" only.

I grew up with a black neighbor and white neighbor, we were all friends. My mom ran a baby sitting service out of our house, and babysat both kids. We had both families over for bbqs several times. My father joined an international fraternity, and one of his late in life passions is traveling to other countries to take in food. He especially likes traditional Arabic cuisine and thai cuisine (he was stationed in Thailand in the airforce when he was 18).

Being very sincere when I say racism flat out wasn't part of growing up for me. Now, my brother in law? His family is openly racist as shit. And my parents have gotten into verbal arguments with them over it.

 

[TheGhost]

No but now they are
Makes life difficult sometimes.
Fox News really did a number on them the past 5-7 years

i would say they are more anti liberal than racist is a more accurate description. These are people who voted democrat all their lives. Well my mother did, my father always flipped between republican Or democrat. "Lesser of two evils" type of guy.

Like we watched every black helmed tv show growing up. Family Matters, Cosby Show, Jefferson's, Different Strokes, Martin , What's Happening, In Living Color, Hanging with Mr Cooper, Fresh Prince

if those shows came out today they wouldn't watch it. Hell they even stopped watching Black-Ish and they would howl with laughter watching that show up until recently. They loved the daughter on the show but won't watch Grown-Ish.

idk, i blame trump and Fox News.

 

[KtotheRoc]

My father died when I was really young, so I have no first hand account, but from everything I have heard, he was not a racist person.

My mother isn't either. And I have first hand account of this.

I guess I was lucky in some aspects.

 

[Night Hunter]

I voted "yes and didn't change" , nothing on the level described by some posters in here.

Just lots and lots of uneducated diet racism.

 

[MrNewVegas]

Legit feel bad that racism is so abound that this is how people feel. With regard to my parents, they would talk openly about race relations to me and my sister when we were older in high school. They outright never bought any notion of racial superiority, although they taught us about the overt class system in America.

Both of my parents grew up ultra poor, my dad was pulled from middle school to go work to support his 11 brothers as the oldest, and my mom was middle child of 7. Their perspective is you don't have to be any race to be poor, they grew up around poor black kids, white kids, Hispanic kids, Asian kids, etc. They resented people with money, but didn't see any specific race as being exclusively in power.

Worth noting, my parents grew up in jim crow america and were subject to segregation. My mom tells me stories of being thrown out of "whites only" laundry places because she, as a child, thought they meant "white clothes" only.

I grew up with a black neighbor and white neighbor, we were all friends. My mom ran a baby sitting service out of our house, and babysat both kids. We had both families over for bbqs several times. My father joined an international fraternity, and one of his late in life passions is traveling to other countries to take in food. He especially likes traditional Arabic cuisine and thai cuisine (he was stationed in Thailand in the airforce when he was 18).

Being very sincere when I say racism flat out wasn't part of growing up for me. Now, my brother in law? His family is openly racist as shit. And my parents have gotten into verbal arguments with them over it.

Click to shrink...

Legit feel bad that racism is so abound that this is how people feel. With regard to my parents, they would talk openly about race relations to me and my sister when we were older in high school. They outright never bought any notion of racial superiority, although they taught us about the overt class system in America.

Both of my parents grew up ultra poor, my dad was pulled from middle school to go work to support his 11 brothers as the oldest, and my mom was middle child of 7. Their perspective is you don't have to be any race to be poor, they grew up around poor black kids, white kids, Hispanic kids, Asian kids, etc. They resented people with money, but didn't see any specific race as being exclusively in power.

Worth noting, my parents grew up in jim crow america and were subject to segregation. My mom tells me stories of being thrown out of "whites only" laundry places because she, as a child, thought they meant "white clothes" only.

I grew up with a black neighbor and white neighbor, we were all friends. My mom ran a baby sitting service out of our house, and babysat both kids. We had both families over for bbqs several times. My father joined an international fraternity, and one of his late in life passions is traveling to other countries to take in food. He especially likes traditional Arabic cuisine and thai cuisine (he was stationed in Thailand in the airforce when he was 18).

Being very sincere when I say racism flat out wasn't part of growing up for me. Now, my brother in law? His family is openly racist as shit. And my parents have gotten into verbal arguments with them over it.

Click to shrink...

Nobody would think I'm a racist and I teach my kids the exact same values. I make sure to correct on stereotypes and the like.

I fully understand racism and what it is. I know it is terrible, wrong and misguided; that's just for the diet racism. I'm excluding outwardly hateful racism.

Yet as I know this there are times where my subconscious stumbles upon what I would consider a racist thought. Years of media portraying certain races in a certain way takes its toll on the human brain. It's brainwashing. I don't believe I am some bastion of peak susceptibility. So I can only infer that most people deal with this as well.

 

[Deleted member 33533]

My dad says anti-semetic things from time to time. Once, embarrassingly, at a public restaurant... on my birthday. My dad is the type of person who speaks loudly and doesn't give a shit about what other people think and trying to challenge him to get him to stop will just rile him up more so it's better to let him say his piece so he'll stop. I just wanted to sink into my seat that day.

A lot of times he'll just ponder if a person is Jewish. Like, if a celebrity is on tv and he think's they're Jewish, he'll ask and make no further comment regardless of what the answer is. He actually thought my ex girlfriend was Jewish for a long time. I didn't know until he asked me and I was really confused. She wasn't and I don't know why he thought so. My dad has never been against any girl I've dated but he has said some cautionary things to me about dating white women and also surprisingly (we're black) black women.

 

[Melhadf]

Pick a slur, and my mum will know it and has probably used it recently.
Challenging her just makes her double down on it.

At this point it's just correcting her and carrying on that has the most effect on her behaviour.

 

[Hippopuncher12]

Nope, and they didn't associate with anyone that was, thankfully.

 

[chaostrophy]

Yeah, mine were. Not to the point of using slurs or being disrespectful to individual non-white people. But they believed that places with substantial non-white populations were dangerous or less desirable to live in. A common belief among white people in the suburbs of Chicago in the 80s-90s (where and when I grew up).

 

[Fisty]

My dad isnt racist, but boy don't get him started on "illegals" and "refugees"

Spoiler

He's racist

 

[Combo]

Nearly half of Era has at least one racist parent :-s

 

[Stinkles]

Not in any active fashion. I am quite sure my mother held common beliefs and stereotypes that would be considered insulting or absurd these days, but not hateful or resentful. But I grew up in an almost monolithically white city, where people of color were rare and more likely to be visiting tourists - and therefore welcome guests - than local residents. In that sense I am probably lucky I grew up in an environment where difference was a thing to be curious about - not resentful or competitive - and I think helped me value differences throughout my life.

But obviously we fucking hated the Welsh. Taffy leek eating rainy ass mountain Joneses.*

Spoiler

* I should not have to point out that's /s but you never know. As a matter of fact I find the Welsh to be almost tolerable and I certainly consider them homo sapiens, despite the common perceptions with regard to that.

 

[Deleted member 32561]

Where's "both weren't, but now one is a virulent racist who 'doesn't approve' of my being pansexual"? That's my pick. :|

Incidentally when I say weren't, I mean they weren't any more racist than the typical white neolibs in the 90/00s. Obviously that isn't acceptable now and I've managed to get my Mom to not only get more progressive in her views of identity (though admittedly she's a government worker and there's sensitivity training that goes on for all employees as a result so I can't take all the credit), but views of economic policy as well. So that's nice.

My Dad went the exact opposite direction. Voted Bush in 04 and went downhill from there when he left my mom. He's a shadow of his former self.

But yeah, basically, complicated situation.

 

[N.Domixis]

Sort of
My mom thinks the following
Mexicans are uneducated
Scared of Arabic people because they could be terrorist.
Thinks black people are lazy.
Every time I tell her what she says is wrong she just says she isn't racist just facts. Sometimes it gets heated.

there's no changing her mind.

 

[Brinbe]

Thankfully not! I would talk some sense into them! They've always been middle of the road liberals. But I think I've pushed them further into progressive politics has time gone on.

 

[WascallyWabbit]

Nearly half of Era has at least one racist parent :-s

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Frankly, that's probably as low as it's going to be if you gather a random selection of 732 people. And obviously this place skews liberal.
Racism is a pretty universal human problem.

 

[Blue Skies]

Thankfully not! I would talk some sense into them!

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Oh you sweet summer child

it's impossible changing racist parents.

 

[Brinbe]

Oh you sweet summer child

it's impossible changing racist parents.

Click to shrink...

Probably. But I'd still try.

My grandfather has it in for Muslims around here that he says disrespect him because he's a Christian and I still try to tell him that's foolishness.

 

[Kendrid]

I lived in a rural, small town in Illinois that was deeply Republican. No and I never heard racist talk.

 

[Illusion]

My Dad thinks:

1. Black people exist to make your life worst.
2. Foreigners have no respect
3. Middle-Eastern community is a scary religious extreme group of people.
4. People who haggle and don't follow the American way should leave the country.

My Mom thinks:

1. Poor black people are bad to be around, create crime, and make neighborhoods unsafe.
2. Indians all small like curry and you shouldn't live near them for the fear of smelling curry everywhere. (Guess what Mom. I love eating curry).

For my Mom, she has toned down a bit over the years, but there is still subtle racism here and there.

My Dad was always a proud man, now that proud has become pride, and he's too warped into watching Ancient Aliens and doesn't like people looking down on him for his own stupidity and doesn't want to admit being wrong. He is a Trump supporter who denies supporting Trump despite having a box of Trump car stickers in his garage, and replaces each defaced Trump sticker on his car claiming "The water just washes the ink off".

 

[lake]

My parents are early boomers 😬 , around 70 now.

My father is white, an emotionally stunted asshole, and (was) a bank manager in his working years. One time when I was with him at his office I remember him telling me some (racial) group of employees was lazy but another were good, hard workers. I didn't know that was problematic at the time. I forget, but I suspect he may have said the n-word in front of me at least once. I think he also called me a faggot at least once but again, kind of hazy.

My mother is a typical middle-class (-ish, these days) white woman who seemingly doesn't know she harbors racism. In 2016 she voted for Trump, which says a lot, especially considering that I, her first child, am a queer trans woman. Her inability to critically examine that choice, much less apologize / make amends, has lead to me not talking to her for over a year now. It sucks but I can't pretend to have a normal relationship with her when she won't acknowledge how much she hurt me.

Ofc I also want her to understand/acknowledge the many other groups of people her actions negatively impacted, esp. PoC, but it feels like the "it hurt me, your child" angle would be most effective/personal in opening her eyes. Well, you'd think. Hasn't happened.

 

[BlackFyre]

Coming from a Brown family,
My parents hated black culture: music, clothing, slang. I do believe this is fairly common.

They would never curse or call them the N word but always told us to avoid them or not to be friends with them.

 

[Deleted member 54292]

What hurts me is how low the "they changed" choice is.
people really are who they is

Click to shrink...

I mean, the sample size is small for this thread but 66 is still 66 people changing. I wish my parents could be two of those 66.