What do you do when you feel like your childhood dreams are ruined?

[Hawkster]

Title is self-explanatory, but let me clarify:

Since I was a teenager, I was passionate about vi doe games and the developments behind them

However, reality began to kick me down once I saw the harsh and brutality behind the labor with crunch, no overtime, the suits taking advantage of passionate young people, and mental and physical.

It felt like that my dreams were taken away from me and the only prospect I'll take is a boring IT job or worse: Inherit my dad's shop that sells car parts.

It makes me wanna cry so hard or punch something whenever I think about it

So my point is did you feel utterly discouraged when reality hits you that you will never fulfill your childhood dreams? If so, how do you deal with it?

 

[Deleted member 21709]

Become an indie developer instead of working for a large studio? If you feel like punching something, stop reading the news.

 

[shnurgleton]

Have you sought out therapy? Not to be confrontational but your past threads have shown a pattern

 

[Deleted member 13496]

Just realize that's the exact same thing 99% of us go through at some point in our life. I don't know very many people that are "living their childhood dream".

 

[It’s Time To Go]

I never assumed I'd live this long so I'm well up on my own expectations.

 

[Hawkster]

Become an indie developer instead of working for a large studio? If you feel like punching something, stop reading the news.

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Have you sought out therapy? Not to be confrontational but your past threads have shown a pattern

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....

You didn't answer my question

 

[BizzyBum]

Welcome to adulthood.

 

[Deleted member 21709]

....

You didn't answer my question

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Your childhood dreams were not ruined. Go forth and develop.

 

[shnurgleton]

....

You didn't answer my question

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OK, to answer your question, I had different goals when I got older. I don't really want to be a paleontologist or an astronaut anymore. Not having a job in video games is a survivable blow

 

[Ctrl Alt Del]

Just realize that's the exact same thing 99% of us go through at some point in our life. I don't know very many people that are "living their childhood dream".

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Yeah, as kids we glamourize stuff we don't fully understand the ins and outs of. As we mature, reality tends to kick us in the teeth. That said, there's no perfect job out there and things to change a lot: for instance, we all know people on STEM careers tend to make a lot of money whilst I've seen people with the same qualification driving uber cars to make ends meet.

 

[Deleted member 10629]

Funny, I don't recall having childhood dreams.

if I were you OP, I'd take the boring IT job and develop games on the side

 

[Hawkster]

Funny, I don't recall having childhood dreams.

if I were you OP, I'd take the boring IT job and develop games on the side

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Is that supposed to make me feel any better?!

 

[sphagnum]

I read Marx.

 

[Blue Skies]

everything is like that tho. I say just do it anyways.

 

[shnurgleton]

Is that supposed to make me feel any better?!

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I for one am not going to sit here and reinforce your sense of hopelessness. Childhood dreams are fine but adult life presents its own set of opportunities. Why do you need to make games your career?

 

[Deleted member 41178]

Is that supposed to make me feel any better?!

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Ask yourself this, was it a realistic dream?

Were you really going to get into game development and has this really stopped you if so?

 

[Deleted member 10629]

Is that supposed to make me feel any better?!

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I would rather have my passion as a side project than have it destroyed by capitalism. I have an IT job that pays for the bills and I don't mind doing. I leave my passions for my free time.

 

[mute]

Boring careers have their benefits. More stability, better pay, ...benefits. Priorities change as you get older. Have to think of the family too.

Also, assuming you have free time, you are free to pursue whatever then and if something better comes along, maybe take it then.

 

[deejay8595]

Everyday! Just try to focus on something you enjoy now and work on it outside your 9 to 5. It hurts though...

 

[shnurgleton]

Saw you were posting about Cyberpunk being delayed. Is that what is bringing this on? It's probably better the devs get the time to complete the game without as much crunch or without the polish the game needs. This sort of thing isn't unique to games. What does this have to do with your dreams?

 

[julia crawford]

I don't remember my childhood so i don't have any childhood dreams to crush.

 

[Hawkster]

I for one am not going to sit here and reinforce your sense of hopelessness. Childhood dreams are fine but adult life presents its own set of opportunities. Why do you need to make games your career?

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Because it'll feel like I did something worthwhile in my worthless life.

A boring desk IT job, on the other hand, would make me depressed and feel worthless. It would not feel like I'm fulfilling anything.

The same goes in case I inherit my dad's shop

 

[scottbeowulf]

I wanted to be a veterinarian until I realized it was all sick animals, blood and guts. So my dreams weren't ruined. More like my eyes were opened to reality. I wasn't crushed, I was educated. Which is kinda what happened to you. Your child-mind wouldn't have thought of crunch or whatever. It thought of all the good. Honestly it's just part of growing up and getting older. Finding out the truth about things you loved as a child.

 

[shnurgleton]

Because it'll feel like I did something worthwhile in my worthless life.

A boring desk IT job, on the other hand, would make me depressed and feel worthless. It would not feel like I'm fulfilling anything.

The same goes in case I inherit my dad's shop

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How are games more worthwhile than helping people with their IT problems, or their cars? I love games too but people need cars and computers, and a multitude of other things that I probably can't even think of right now

 

[Thrill_house]

I wanted to be an archaeologist as a kid until I found out it is incredibly boring work and nothing remotely close to what I imagined(too much Indiana Jones for me lmao).

If you are that hellbent on your dream then work in the field you have studied and create a game on the side as others have said. You can do it OP!

 

[Deleted member 1476]

You're not going to find the answer here, that's for sure.

 

[Deleted member 10629]

Because it'll feel like I did something worthwhile in my worthless life.

A boring desk IT job, on the other hand, would make me depressed and feel worthless. It would not feel like I'm fulfilling anything.

The same goes in case I inherit my dad's shop

Click to shrink...

And what if you don't like game dev even with good conditions? No more passions?
We are not our jobs. I'd recommend to open yourself to other stuff.

 

[Ferrio]

Your realization on making video games being an actual job isn't really the fault of your dream, just that you were naive child. Nothing has changed in reality, just your perception of the work. If you're actually really passionate about wanting to make video games, the work involved shouldn't discourage you.

I myself gave up the idea of becoming a video game dev once I realized how much work it was. Still a programmer, but I feel like I dodged a bullet going down the game dev route. Not only because it can be a lot tougher job than our stupid kid selves thought, but I feel like it might have destroyed my love for video games.

 

[Pall Mall]

Because it'll feel like I did something worthwhile in my worthless life.

A boring desk IT job, on the other hand, would make me depressed and feel worthless. It would not feel like I'm fulfilling anything.

The same goes in case I inherit my dad's shop

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I'm guessing you did/do CS or some type of computer engineering? I don't think that IT and making games are your only options

 

[scottbeowulf]

I wanted to be an archaeologist as a kid until I found out it is incredibly boring work and nothing remotely close to what I imagined(too much Indiana Jones for me lmao).

If you are that hellbent on your dream then work in the field you have studied and create a game on the side as others have said. You can do it OP!

Click to shrink...

If I'm honest I think I wanted to be a vet when I was younger almost exclusively because of The Beastmaster movie.

 

[Deleted member 18360]

I think the spirit of childhood dreams (rather than any specific content) is what is worth preserving. Kids maintain a somewhat enchanted view of the world in general, but that's not to say that the particular objects or things that they attribute to it are really whats responsible for that. It could almost be anything.

A benefit of adulthood is these commitments actually get tested by reality and we're presented with the much more sober challenge of trying to maintain our goals and interests regardless. You don't have to try to fit into some rosy image of the games industry that turned out to be false. Maybe work on some personal indie games in your spare time instead when you can set yourself a reasonable schedule.

 

[Van Bur3n]

You get very emotional very easily, Hawkster. I can tell you that much.

 

[hephaestus]

So my point is did you feel utterly discouraged when reality hits you that you will never fulfill your childhood dreams? If so, how do you deal with it?

Click to shrink...

Simple, I re-evaluated my dreams. I realized dreaming is pleasant but not reality, I broke down what the core of my dream was and got into a career that had alot of those same pieces.
I always wanted to build practical special effects as a kid. Growing up I realized that wasn't a realistic goal, so I asked myself what I really liked about it.
Working with my hands, making mechanical things, building, fabricating. So I got into the trades and became a millwright.
Industry gave me skills, experience and a large paycheck. On my own time, I tinker and build what I want.

Also the fastest way to destroy a dream job is to actually get the dream job.

 

[Yossarian]

OP, was your dream to make games or to work with big development studios?

 

[fracas]

In my case, true fulfillment comes from making the most of what you have been dealt, not achieving some lofty goal.

 

[Ploid 6.0]

My childhood dreams was to own a car's worth of Super Nintendo games (mother got a brand new car instead of buying hundreds of SNES games). If I had that now I'd regret that dream.

 

[Hawkster]

You get very emotional very easily, Hawkster. I can tell you that much.

Click to shrink...

Sorry for being a sensitive person and having empathy, I guess?

OP, was your dream to make games or to work with big development studios?

Click to shrink...

Making games in general. Working at big studios is just a bonus

 

[Deleted member 4552]

Title is self-explanatory, but let me clarify:

Since I was a teenager, I was passionate about vi doe games and the developments behind them

However, reality began to kick me down once I saw the harsh and brutality behind the labor with crunch, no overtime, the suits taking advantage of passionate young people, and mental and physical.

It felt like that my dreams were taken away from me and the only prospect I'll take is a boring IT job or worse: Inherit my dad's shop that sells car parts.

It makes me wanna cry so hard or punch something whenever I think about it

So my point is did you feel utterly discouraged when reality hits you that you will never fulfill your childhood dreams? If so, how do you deal with it?

Click to shrink...

You don't sound mentally healthy.

And you sound incredibly childish.

 

[Indy in the Fridge]

I read Hemingway as a teenager and coveted his lifestyle (sans the safari stuff). Sipping vintage wines with Fitzgerald in Paris, sweating under the hot sun as my boat took me to Cuba, summer nights on the beach with three fingers of whiskey and a Cuban cigar, dressing in linen to watch a Spanish bullfight.

Then I got older and the visage of Hemingway's life eroded and once I found out that he was essentially a depressed, alcoholic, abusive asshole, I began to lose my interest in creative writing. I earned a BFA in fiction 8 years ago and I haven't written anything worth a damn since.

I wouldn't say my dreams were "ruined" but getting older just exposes you to the harder facts of life; that most of your heroes were shitty people.

 

[Deleted member 6263]

I moved on, man. I planned on being a full time musician since middle school but those plans fell apart early on in college after it became clear that it wasn't a sustainable or consistent source of income. Now I do it as a side-gig and still have fun with it, but also have a job that pays enough for me to enjoy the thing I was originally obsessed with.

 

[Hawkster]

You don't sound mentally healthy.

And you sound incredibly childish.

Click to shrink...

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that caring about my dreams makes me childish

Thanks for making me feel worse

 

[Yossarian]

Making games in general. Working at big studios is just a bonus

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Okay. Ignoring the studio ting for a sec, what do you personally need to start making a game?

 

[Mcfrank]

If you want to make games then make games. That is the difference between the artists who make it and those who dont. The ones that wait for permission or an opportunity from someone else dont make it. The ones who just fucking do it sometimes do. So again, if you want to make games, then fucking make games.

 

[Amnesty]

Because it'll feel like I did something worthwhile in my worthless life.

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If you feel that you have a worthless life then you are already sabotaging your prospects in terms of dream fulfillment.

You aren't going to be able to pursue a dedicated and difficult, possibly lifelong commitment if you feel like you are worthless.

If you want to be successful at something and pursue something with ambition then your first step would be to develop your sense of well being to the point where you no longer feel worthless and instead feel confident most of the time. It's not that you can't feel sensitive and vulnerable anymore, but worthlessness and depression are obstacles to living an ambitious lifestyle.

If you want to make games then make games. That is the difference between the artists who make it and those who dont. The ones that wait for permission or an opportunity from someone else dont make it. The ones who just fucking do it sometimes do. So again, if you want to make games, then fucking make games.

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Also, this. People that become successful at things do it regardless of any guarantee of that success. Like, a writer writes on their own time even without anything on the horizon in terms of success. You build your own horizons to start and you keep doing so with the hope that you can build it into something bigger or develop yourself and what you make into something that can reach out beyond the limits of where you began.

 

[Lentic]

Life goes on. There are other ways of fulfillment out there than what you've boxed yourself into. It's important to realize that you're looking at things from a very narrow perspective. Focus on the things you enjoy in your daily life instead and add things that interest you.

The image or fantasy that you have in your head almost never lives up to reality. Better to let that all go and open yourself up to other possibilities and experiences that might come along.

 

[Yossarian]

If you want to make games then make games. That is the difference between the artists who make it and those who dont. The ones that wait for permission or an opportunity from someone else dont make it. The ones who just fucking do it sometimes do. So again, if you want to make games, then fucking make games.

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☝️☝️☝️

 

[Deleted member 4552]

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that caring about my dreams makes me childish

Thanks for making me feel worse

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I said you are childish and you responded in a childish way.

"Oh no poor you, there there baba, I'm sure you'll enjoy the business you inheret eventually."

Is that what you want? People to feel sorry for you.

Harry Potter and the business he inhereted.

 

[Deleted member 18360]

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that caring about my dreams makes me childish

Thanks for making me feel worse

Click to shrink...

I don't think anyone is trying to make you feel worse. I think a problem is that adulthood is in essence the experience of having the ground slowly eroded out from under you (or realizing that there was no such ground and what was taken to be was just a naive view of society). That doesn't mean you need to abandon the things you liked in childhood, it just means you need to have like ten times the finesse to do so and to deal with all the free floating anxiety that just comes from trying to be an authentic human being when nothing in the world is a given.

 

[Torpedo Vegas]

Well radioactivity kills you, it doesn't give you sweet spider powers. I handled that blow pretty well I think. I guess I could still be Batman, but

 

[tr1b0re]

Give up and move on, at least until you have the power to achieve it yourself

I wanted to be a game dev as a kid, but its not something taught in my country and we couldn't really afford to send me overseas for something like that

Even if not for that though, my dad thought it was a waste of time, so I had to move on to something else