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What food has the smallest spectrum?

Doug Dimmadome

Doug Dimmadome

Member
Jan 20, 2022
3,516
Alt title: What food is the hardest to fuck up?

I'm a big fan of club sandwiches, in part because they're so simple to make, you can basically guarantee they'll be great every time you order them, regardless of where you are.

I anticipate nobody agreeing with me on this, but I'd also toss Pizza in there. For me, the pizza spectrum ranges from 'okay' to 'incredible'. Like, even on the low end, I'll still probably eat the pizza (Cue that infamous Pizza video)

What food requires more skill to ruin than to make right?
 
j7vikes

j7vikes

Definitely not shooting blanks
Member
Jan 5, 2020
5,755
Honestly 100% agree on pizza. Had it a million times from a million different places and other than once or twice it's all fit into various levels of average or above. Really seems hard to mess up.
 
septentrion2

septentrion2

Member
Apr 11, 2023
1,830
Chili.

Throw a bunch of stuff into a pot, make sure the end result is some sort of reddish color (green is also acceptable in some cultures), have some beans in there, and you got yourself a successful chili.
 
Ubik

Ubik

Member
Nov 13, 2018
2,507
Canada
Spaghetti. Even one pot spaghetti with the cheapest store bought noodles and jar of sauce is at least "good". It doesn't take much to add some spicy sausage and peppers or something to elevate it to awesome. Hell, even a can of Chef-Boyardee spaghetti is pretty good for a struggle food.
 
EntelechyFuff

EntelechyFuff

Saw the truth behind the copied door
Member
Nov 19, 2019
10,228
I'm surprised to see Pizza take such an early lead. I have eaten and seen some fucked up pizza.

I think it's really hard to beat sandwiches...you're just stacking some objects, it's barely even culinary. Fuck ups only come into play once you get ambitious.

I liked the suggestion of Chili too. If chili gets "fucked up" it usually tastes great still, just in an unintended way.
 
Tagyhag

Tagyhag

Member
Oct 27, 2017
12,591
I think you're not too alone with Pizza.

I don't think I've ever had a bad pizza slice, even from chains.

Meh? Sure, but not outright bad.

The worst crime would be a tasteless one.
 
echoshifting

echoshifting

very salt heavy
The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
14,882
The Negative Zone
Hold my beer: the thread. I can fuck all of these up easily. I can make you regret eating chili for days. Weeks

I bet I can permanently traumatize a person with bad pizza
 
LumberPanda

LumberPanda

Member
Feb 3, 2019
6,391
Are we including at home, or just restaurants?

Cuz I've fucked up pizza dough before.

Also, I raise you modern pizza hut.
 
machine

machine

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,832
Bear said:
I'd vote for burgers. As long as they're not raw, they're decent.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

I had a burger from Applebees once. It was the proper doneness but it was one of the most vile things I've ever tasted. I didn't even know it was possible to screw up a burger that badly and still make it technically edible.
 
TheWooniestWoona

TheWooniestWoona

Member
Oct 27, 2017
5,841
septentrion2 said:
Chili.

Throw a bunch of stuff into a pot, make sure the end result is some sort of reddish color (green is also acceptable in some cultures), have some beans in there, and you got yourself a successful chili.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

There was a time when I would have agreed with you, but then I had to experience an office chili cook off.

I don't even know how it happened or what black magic they used, but that was some of the most vile stuff I've ever put in my mouth.
 
Dyno

Dyno

AVALANCHE
The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
13,374
I disagree on pizza due to these things.
111249_2

The base is shit, the toppings taste of next to nothing and the only thing they succeed at is melting the taste buds off your tongue so you're unsure if it's just the pizza is awful or you've lost the required sense to decipher whether it is or not.
 
Whipwhopper

Whipwhopper

Member
Oct 7, 2020
913
Grilled cheese. It's just bread a cheese...grilled. If you fucked up, you're getting either a regular cheese sandwich or a burnt but still cheesy mess.
 
LostSkullKid

LostSkullKid

Member
Nov 27, 2017
4,699
Pizza feels like an easy answer cause like sometimes I'll even specifically crave some like 7-11 pizza or some microwave pizza that never cooks properly. I can't say there's any other food where I'd specifically crave stuff that would be considered bottom of the barrel. But there's this local theater chain that has their own pizza and there were like 3 or 4 times where they gave out free pizza at like special event screenings. And it is easily among the worst food I've ever tasted in my life. And every single time, I go in thinking that it can't possibly be as bad I remember it being or that they must have improved their recipe after the endless amount of complaints they must have gotten about it but no, it always ends up somehow being even worse than I remember it being. And everyone I've ever been with agrees that pizza is inedible. I have no idea how they manage to do it. It's not like burnt or anything. And I'm pretty sure they only have cheese (or at least that's all they ever give away for free), so it's not like it's bad because of some really bad topping.
 
Doggg

Doggg

▲ Legend ▲
Member
Nov 17, 2017
14,506
Hmm. Sandwiches are already high up there. Maybe oatmeal? You can make a mess preparing it, but a lot of mistakes are fixable. Even if you burn the bottom, you can salvage the parts that aren't burnt. But with the final product, it's just a matter of tweaking what you add to it.
 
Kitsunebaby

Kitsunebaby

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,680
Annapolis, Maryland
There's a fuckton of pizzas that I would not be willing to eat. But I don't like a lot of cheese, which is what shitty pizza places use to cover up their lackluster crust and sauce.

Personally, I find fried chicken really hard to fuck up. Assuming it's not raw on the inside, the thighs will be decent at the very least.
 
jiggle

jiggle

Member
Dec 23, 2017
4,510
bacon
Crispy, stale, cold, microwaved
They all good
Only bad bacon is chocolate/sugar/sweet dipped bacon. YUCK
 
skeezx

skeezx

Member
Oct 27, 2017
20,240
yeah, pizza

pizza snobs always amuse me. aside from grade school cafeteria pizza and garbage tier frozen pizza i've never had bad pizza, like name any of the mainstream chains i think they're all more than fine
 
flatearthpandas

flatearthpandas

Member
Oct 26, 2017
5,164
I find a lot of "craft" pizza places I've been to have really thin, soggy crusts that can make it impossible to pick up a slice without immediately dropping all the topings onto the plate, so unless you're eating with a fork and knife, it's not a great time no matter how good the ingredients are.

Japanese convenience stores have mastered making horrible sandwiches by front loading all the ingredients so they look really good until you open the package and find the back 3/4 is just bread.

Would probably have to go pasta. As long as you get it soft, it'll probably be at least fine.
 
Addi

Addi

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,261
Some sandwiches can be disgusting, like super dry bread with sweaty cheese. I had one like that on a KLM flight. It was small, but I couldn't finish it. It was impossible to swallow because the bread absorbed all moisture in my mouth.
 
Alcoremortis

Alcoremortis

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,616
For the most part I agree with pizza... except for this one airport pizza that was actually inedible. I can't even begin to think what they did to it to make it that bad. And I'm someone who regularly eats microwave pizza and loves it.
 
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