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Why are americans so afraid of having committed relationship?

Riversands

Riversands

Banned
Nov 21, 2017
5,669
That question occurs to my mind after watching Friends, the part when Monica registers for wedding something and after chandler finds out he freaks out (the one where bruce willis became a guest star there, it was season 5)

It also happened to ross and rachel earlier when they were dating, but i could be wrong. They were talking about kids, and they freaked out

Is it really that scary to get engaged in committed relationship or having children? Their reaction is like they are getting themselves into a curse or something
 
Keldroc

Keldroc

Member
Oct 27, 2017
12,013
ProTip: Sitcom characters from 25 years ago are probably not the most useful barometers of an entire national dating culture.
 

Deleted member 10551

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
3,031
While Friends is not reality-based at all, there is an issue that income inequality is causing Americans, esp white Americans, to not want to start families because they can't afford it/have no hope for the future.
 
Jon Carter

Jon Carter

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
5,746
It's not only America. Commitment is scary because people know half of all marriages end in divorce, so add kids to that...
 
Kaivan

Kaivan

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
1,390
OP is not totally wrong.

marriage-rate-in-the-united-states-since-1990.jpg
 
OP
OP
Riversands

Riversands

Banned
Nov 21, 2017
5,669
Knight613 said:
You realize Friends ended with 5 out of 6 of them in committed relationships right?
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Im talking more about the fear of getting into commitment either it is relationship or something else (in himym commitment of having children). Whether they really end up together or not of course is another story
 
MegaManTrigger

MegaManTrigger

Banned
Oct 26, 2017
8,734
lunatique said:
OP is not totally wrong.

marriage-rate-in-the-united-states-since-1990.jpg
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That's the thing, instead of pointing to real-life examples, OP's pointing to TV shows. I'd take it a step further and mention how dating culture seems to be more fearful of the idea of commitment than they used to be 10/20/30 years old. Dating apps and websites have opened up a whole new category of people, and that has resulted in a "shiny toy syndrome" of sorts (aka, waiting for something better to come along to the point that you refuse to commit to someone).
 

Deleted member 8674

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 26, 2017
5,240
Monica is a control freak and Chandler never had a serious relationship and went from that to marriage and that's why he freaked out.
 
Inugami

Inugami

Member
Oct 25, 2017
14,995
It's at show where relationships are used to drive the story... The show wouldn't have lasted 2 seasons if everyone got together and married.
 
Kaivan

Kaivan

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
1,390
Hoa said:
This isn't an America exclusive problem, see Japan.
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Japan has a totally different problem. They're not even willing to go on dates, let alone marriage.

That said, generally I agree with the notion that marriage is just in decline all around the world. But there are areas that it's declining so fast compared to the rest, like the US.
 
Inugami

Inugami

Member
Oct 25, 2017
14,995
lunatique said:
OP is not totally wrong.

marriage-rate-in-the-united-states-since-1990.jpg
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Ahhh yes, the ever popular "zoom into a tiny number on a graph to make it seem like a bigger deal than it is"

To put this chart in context, it matches closely to a similar drop in the rate of divorce... Meaning there are fewer spur of the moment marriages. It's not that people are more afraid of commitment, and more they aren't rushing into marriages that won't last.
 
Chaos2Frozen

Chaos2Frozen

Member
Nov 3, 2017
28,098
American media have been pushing the notion that marriage is a miserable prison sentence for decades.

There's always some old/middle aged couple disillusioned by marriage and kids.
 
Ensorcell

Ensorcell

Member
Oct 27, 2017
5,481
Hey Americans, I just got done watching an episode of Small Wonder. Why do you let creepy little robot girls into your homes?
 
diakyu

diakyu

Member
Dec 15, 2018
17,586
Friends isn't funny, and if it was a representation of America I would be living an eternal nightmare.

Some people do have this fear though. Some just are not cut out for it. Having children especially is a big deal when you sit down to think about it.
 
OP
OP
Riversands

Riversands

Banned
Nov 21, 2017
5,669
RolandOfGilead said:
Do you base all of your world views off of fictional TV shows/characters?
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Depends. But not necessarily. Let me try to explain this. In scriptwriting, writers usually put some "real world aspects/values" that can be relatable to either the writers or the audiences. How to identify it? If it is recurring theme, then usually it is a real aspect of real world.

Lets say scrubs. Scrubs may be fictional, but the medical things that it brought is considered pretty accurate
 
Sunster

Sunster

The Fallen
Oct 5, 2018
10,058
well my very first serious relationship ended with heartbreak and then 2 broken legs but I still jumped back in. it is legitimately scary though after you've had your heart broken and I would never judge anyone for not wanting a serious relationship for that reason. heartbreak was a worse and longer lasting pain then both of my femurs being snapped in 2 and my right hip shattering at the same time no joke.
 
King Alamat

King Alamat

Member
Nov 22, 2017
8,144
Here's the thing, OP. Friends takes place in an alternate reality where New York has no black people. That could explain other shenanigans going on.
 
Septy

Septy

Prophet of Truth
Member
Nov 29, 2017
4,086
United States
Riversands said:
Depends. But not necessarily. Let me try to explain this. In scriptwriting, writers usually put some "real world aspects/values" that can be relatable to either the writers or the audiences. How to identify it? If it is recurring theme, then usually it is a real aspect of real world.

Lets say scrubs. Scrubs may be fictional, but the medical things that it brought is considered pretty accurate
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I'm surprised you're talking about the medical aspects of scrubs and not the dramatic American relationships in it.
 
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