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Would it be a hassle to have one of my friends crash my brother's wedding?

pleaseinsertdisctwo

pleaseinsertdisctwo

Banned
Oct 31, 2017
14,991
Sorry if this comes across as insensitive or whatever since I don't really know much about weddings and whatnot and I'm not sure if this is actually considered a big deal or super rude.


Anyways, my brother's wedding is coming up (and we have a pretty close relationship), and he told me to invite 5 friends. I really want to invite one more but I don't want to make it a hassle for my brother or his wife. I'm thinking it wouldn't be a big deal if she were to come to the after-church celebration stuff, like, I'm probably not even gonna be sitting much anyways, sooo....

is it possible? Has anyone ever crashed a wedding before?

And yes I'm literally asking for a friend I'm not secretly asking for myself
 
ragingbegal

ragingbegal

Member
Oct 27, 2017
795
Depending on the wedding, that extra guest can cost the hosts another $100. I would check with your brother first. Better to be straight about it.
 
EvilChameleon

EvilChameleon

Member
Oct 25, 2017
23,793
Ohio
He said to invite 5 friends. He didn't say how many enemies to invite. Just say this woman of yours is an enemy. Problem solved.
 
Dr_LawyerCop

Dr_LawyerCop

Chicken Chaser
Member
Oct 25, 2017
547
Be thankful he let you invite 5. It's incredibly rude to show up uninvited. Plus I'm sure they've given final numbers to their vendors. It's a real dick move.
 
hitme

hitme

Member
Oct 26, 2017
3,910
Yes it's a hassle since it's extra cost for the bride and groom, especially if it's uninvited.

Planning for a wedding is already a pain in the ass as it is. Don't make it worse.
 
TheBaldEmperor

TheBaldEmperor

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,862
Don't. All this stuff is planned out in advance. He gave you a specific number and you should respect him and stick to it instead of creating a potential situation on their day. What you want doesn't matter.
 
Conciliator

Conciliator

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,161
Eh, I fall on that it would be OK to ask. But definitely don't without asking.

if everyone broke the limit and didn't tell anyone then basically they'd have no idea how many people were actually showing up
 
Pluto

Pluto

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,537
He said 5, that means 5! Don't even ask of you can bring one person more, that's fucking rude, he already lets you bring FIVE friends. Do you have the slightest idea how generous it is that you get to pick five guests for someone elses wedding? Usually people get one person as a date and that's it.
 
LewieP

LewieP

Member
Oct 26, 2017
18,174
Extremely rude without checking, not unreasonable if you ask first.

Even if your brother wouldn't object in principle, there's factors outside of whether it would irritate him.
 
Dan

Dan

Member
Oct 25, 2017
8,968
How about.. you know... asking him?

You'd get an answer way quicker than posting here.
 
Sectorseven

Sectorseven

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,560
Don't most receptions have like assigned seating and pretty exact planning in that regard? I don't know how an extra person could just slip in without causing some disruption.
 
Matrix XII

Matrix XII

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,314
I wouldn't do that without asking first. It's just going to cause problems. Weddings have high tensions in the first place, no need to add to their stress even more.
 
Scrooge

Scrooge

Member
Oct 25, 2017
633
Weddings are invite only because everything is so carefully planned based on the number expected to attend. He told you that you could bring five people. Any more than that would require his explicit permission, so, ask him. If he says yes, hooray. If he says no, that's entirely understandable.
 
shaneo632

shaneo632

Weekend Planner
Member
Oct 29, 2017
29,095
Wrexham, Wales
Offer to pay the extra for him to come.

But at the same time you already got an allowance for 5 friends which is insanely generous for a wedding.
 
Septimus Prime

Septimus Prime

EA
Verified
Oct 25, 2017
8,500
Most vendors would prepare their service to accommodate an extra 5%, and there will likely be some no shows. That said, it's rude to just bring extra people.
 
Scullibundo

Scullibundo

Member
Oct 25, 2017
9,741
My sister asked if a friend could join 2 months after we got everybody's confirmations. Then when we finally relented and bent over to reorganise tables to fit her friend, she let us know a week before the wedding that her friends partner was coming too.

We also didn't even know her friend and had to purposely not invite friends of our own to keep head count down.

Per head count was expensive too and they didn't give a present or anything. Neither did my sister.
 
Prinz Eugn

Prinz Eugn

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,393
theofficefan99 said:
I wouldn't mind her taking my seat and me just standing honestly, if that's the issue
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Uh, if it's a classic wedding, the seat isn't just a literal place to sit, it also represents all the things you get as a guest like food and drinks, which the host has to arrange and pay for. Also it's super awkward if everyone is sitting for a meal (if that's the plan) and you are standing there like a weirdo the whole time or have to hunt for a seat.

Sometimes I feel like this site is used by aliens to gain insight into human behavior.
 
Sayre

Sayre

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
728
Don't do this. Ask your brother. Technically speaking you can get away with it if she is only there for the cocktail hour, but for the dinner portion, it'll be awkward when everyone is sitting.

In any case, weddings are stressful enough for the bride and groom as it is. It's their day so respect the fact that they were super generous in giving you 5 guests.
 
BringBackSonics

BringBackSonics

Member
Oct 27, 2017
45,597
Seattle
theofficefan99 said:
Sorry if this comes across as insensitive or whatever since I don't really know much about weddings and whatnot and I'm not sure if this is actually considered a big deal or super rude.


Anyways, my brother's wedding is coming up (and we have a pretty close relationship), and he told me to invite 5 friends. I really want to invite one more but I don't want to make it a hassle for my brother or his wife. I'm thinking it wouldn't be a big deal if she were to come to the after-church celebration stuff, like, I'm probably not even gonna be sitting much anyways, sooo....

is it possible? Has anyone ever crashed a wedding before?

And yes I'm literally asking for a friend I'm not secretly asking for myself
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

If it's a plated dinner that might make it super awkward
 
Landy828

Landy828

Member
Oct 26, 2017
13,475
Clemson, SC
Just ask. We learned last weekend that a lot of people that say "yes" don't show up. We sent out 120 "couple/party" invitations. Got 96 "Yes'" back. 15 of those didn't show up.

Point is they may be ok with it, and she may even get a meal and all. That or one of you could pay for it.

The people that didn't show cost us $570 in uneaten food :(.

People don't realize this stuff costs money apparently. You should just check.
 

Deleted member 24118

User requested account closure
Member
Oct 29, 2017
4,920
Have you considered using your mouth words to speak with the human being who will be affected by your decision
 
StrangeRoboMemory

StrangeRoboMemory

Member
Oct 25, 2017
10,804
Toronto, ON
Scullibundo said:
My sister asked if a friend could join 2 months after we got everybody's confirmations. Then when we finally relented and bent over to reorganise tables to fit her friend, she let us know a week before the wedding that her friends partner was coming too.

We also didn't even know her friend and had to purposely not invite friends of our own to keep head count down.

Per head count was expensive too and they didn't give a present or anything. Neither did my sister.
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Man...are you for real? What in the world. How did you agree to this...god damn, as someone who recently got married, I'd be livid at my sister for this shit.
 
Dyno

Dyno

AVALANCHE
The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
13,502
You can't really go over headcount for the dinner and things like that but the evening/night party isn't really and issue. At our wedding we had a few extra guests turn up to the party and there was still loads of food left over. As long as they don't expect their drinks pre paid it's all fine. Honestly the booze that's thrown at you all day starts to hit by then and you kinda don't care anymore as long as everyone's having fun
 
Scullibundo

Scullibundo

Member
Oct 25, 2017
9,741
StrangeRoboMemory said:
Man...are you for real? What in the world. How did you agree to this...god damn, as someone who recently got married, I'd be livid at my sister for this shit.
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I was livid. And it basically came down to my sister kicking up a stink and makkng everybody's life a living hell and my mother begging me to just give my sister what she wants to put an end to it. Our wedding was all about what she wanted.
 
Admiral Woofington

Admiral Woofington

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
14,892
You say you have a close relationship and yet you make a thread instead of sending your brother a text asking "hey can I invite one more friend?" lmaaaao
 
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