In 2017, he added to those responsibilities by launching HimerosTV.com, a website where Wavey gets to deliver his mantra of mindful exploration of intimacy between men.
The concept is meant to both expand and replace the template that the entertainment industry plants in the minds of almost every gay man: that sex is transactional. That people are archetypes meant to be used and discarded like products. That bringing 100 percent of who you are into your own sex life is something to fear.
Videos on the site turn that idea inside out. They include a man well into his 80s sharing a hot tub with men in their prime. A quadriplegic is shown having the time of his life, and viewers can choose from an assortment interracial and daddy/boy scenes. Subscribers will even find guided meditations (set to steamy visuals) on how to make even the most casual encounters into something beautiful that connects men to same-sex impulses that are as old as time.
"It's authentic and joyful, the way we portray men interacting," he says. "And it resonates deeply with my own experience. What most people watch is certainly designed to get you off, which is fine. But as gay men, it's also served as our sex education, so a lot of us try to emulate what we see on our screens in our bedrooms. Porn is very good at getting you off, but it does nothing to create intimacy or connection. All of these things are important to living your best life. So I wondered: 'Can I use the same formula as my YouTube videos, and instead of goofiness and humor, can I package this so that we create content that is instructive rather than destructive?'"
Not being licensed in the field himself, Wavey partnered with tantric instructors, mental health experts and sexologists to create videos that enhance men's experience of what's possible. "So on our site, maybe the guy you see has a belly, or maybe he's 83, or he might be in a wheelchair. We have our share of what the industry would call traditional guys on the site, too. But our community is so very siloed: young with young, older with older, and so forth. We're trying to incorporate more of the range of guys we all experience in the real world, because they're all hot in their own way. We want to open hearts and minds at the same time."
Wavey believes that because we live in a youth-obsessed culture — especially when it comes to sex — people forget that experience has its advantages. "We filmed a scene with three generations of gay men," he says. "Younger guys and guys in their 50s, 60s and 70s. And you can see what happens. The older men were so in their bodies with sound and movement; really inhabiting the moment. Yet it's the 20-somethings we tend to collectively celebrate, even though they're just starting out."
Interview: Davey Wavey went from YouTube star to erotic gay video magnate. What some call porn, he calls a guide for gay men have better sex.
metrosource.com