It's more about complimentary personalities and attitudes rather that having things in common you like. Sure that helps at the start of a relationship as an in, but after that a personality mismatch will be a disaster.
I don't you really need to share hobbies or whatever, unless you are super deep into something and absolutely must have your partner participating in it (which they can do even if not seriously).
I agree that a complementary personality is way more important.
Props at not trying to hook up with drunk girls, bound to get messy. What I don't get is why people don't know their limits by now. Why can't people have fun while sober or at least within their limits? lolSo last night was kind of odd. I went with them back to their place for drinks, so we got a taxi from the bar. And the taxi felt like it took at least 30 minutes to get there, but whatever I was enjoying myself.
So, we arrive at their place and all start to have a few more drinks. I'm a pretty slow drinker anyway so I wasn't nearly as pissed as they were, but still can control myself when tipsy. But the two girls were absolutely smashed after a few more. The girl I bought a drink for, said she felt sick and tired so went to bed. So I was left alone with the other girl.
So after a bit more talking and drinking, she even kissed me. It was nice, don't get me wrong here, but she was horribly drunk and I was pretty okay still. She invited me into her room, and I told her I would follow her in after going to the toilet. Instead I just left and got a taxi home.
I felt bad for leaving, but I'd feel even worse for taking advantage of her in that state.
(The god damn taxi home cost me like €45)
So yeah, all in all I enjoyed the company and they were actually really friendly people.
It's more about complimentary personalities and attitudes rather that having things in common you like. Sure that helps at the start of a relationship as an in, but after that a personality mismatch will be a disaster.
So last night was kind of odd. I went with them back to their place for drinks, so we got a taxi from the bar. And the taxi felt like it took at least 30 minutes to get there, but whatever I was enjoying myself.
So, we arrive at their place and all start to have a few more drinks. I'm a pretty slow drinker anyway so I wasn't nearly as pissed as they were, but still can control myself when tipsy. But the two girls were absolutely smashed after a few more. The girl I bought a drink for, said she felt sick and tired so went to bed. So I was left alone with the other girl.
So after a bit more talking and drinking, she even kissed me. It was nice, don't get me wrong here, but she was horribly drunk and I was pretty okay still. She invited me into her room, and I told her I would follow her in after going to the toilet. Instead I just left and got a taxi home.
I felt bad for leaving, but I'd feel even worse for taking advantage of her in that state.
(The god damn taxi home cost me like €45)
So yeah, all in all I enjoyed the company and they were actually really friendly people.
I don't know, a partner is eventually bound to get interested in your hobbies and maybe share the activity with you. Just like you would if they have a hobby that you've never tried but want to know more about. Doesn't seem like a dealbreaker imo. Unless if they have a religious reason or severe hatred so they are never watching films or playing games.
Ah, just saw the posts about OKC requiring actual first names (I miss so many posts). Not a big deal as my first name is part of my profile name.
But it does bum me out that they're hemorrhaging users to Tinder, because I hate Tinder, and prefer not to use an app clogging up my phone.
Though I might try Bumble - anyone have tips/suggestion on using Bumble?
The only thing I know is that the first message can only be sent by the woman.
Wow, thank you for sharing!The first meaningful relationship breakup can be quite a tough one and often takes a while to pick yourself back up.
Story time incoming:
Fooled around when I was in my teens, different girl every few months but then met someone when I was in college (high school for the American folk). Dated all through high school and after that too, got married in 2011 at 21, bought a house and all that jazz. Fast forward until 2015, been together for 10 years or so by this point which is when I decided I wanted to get someone into the house as a border to help pay off the last 30k or so of the mortgage, debt free and a homeowner at 25, not too shabby I thought to myself.
End up coming home one day from work and finding the wife (now ex) in bed with the border and just like that 10 years was washed down the drain. Sometimes you just can't predict life and the turns it's going to take. Was nothing but a model boyfriend, partner and husband, put a roof over our heads, worked my butt off and paid for her to go to school and get her degree but sometimes it's not appreciated.
Needless to say I took it hard, but I soon realised with the help and support of friends and family that anyone who could put me through something as horrible as that wasn't worth spending the energy on and beating myself up over. Worked on myself and jumped onto tinder after about half a year. Met a wonderful girl and hit it off and still with her now finding myself happier than ever. We live together, I'm mortgage free at 27 and we are due to take our first serious holiday to America in May next year.
I guess my long ass rant is basically it may seem tough at first, and it should, but things get better :)
I wouldn't want to be in that situation either but to be fair, disliking that someone plays games and not being interested in games are different things. If you're actively upset that your S.O. plays games in general that's a problem.I think people hoping their partners might become interested in their hobbies might become disappointed. It's easy for them to accept those hobbies in the short term, start of a relationship, but in the long-term it's easy for those activities, particularly if it pulls them away from the partner, to become irritations.
I know a lot of guys, who's girlfriends explicitly dislike them playing games. For me, at least, that's not a pleasant situation to be in - at least not for me.
I wouldn't want to be in that situation either but to be fair, disliking that someone plays games and not being interested in games are different things. If you're actively upset that your S.O. plays games in general that's a problem.
I think even in a long term relationship, it's good for the people involved to have things to their own that are separate. Obviously if you're spending all your time playing games and neglecting your S.O. that's a whole different issue.
So uh.. What do ya'll think about an early Saturday first date? (12 noon-ish)
Only chance to meet and it's been long overdue :(
First date? That's pretty decent actually. It's during the daylight which is good since you don't really know each other I'm assuming?So uh.. What do ya'll think about an early Saturday first date? (12 noon-ish)
Only chance to meet and it's been long overdue :(
I think there are a lot of sides to this. For one, if your partner says they accept something but really don't then there's a huge issue of communication and understanding there. I also think it would show that your partner lacks a general respect of your own personal time and space which goes beyond them just not liking games and shows a deeper issue at hand.The problem is it's not something a lot of girls are open with at the start of a relationship. Like they might accept that you play games, and just shrug it off, but a couple years down the line they're complaining because you want to spend a day playing a video game, etc. And it's easy for that to go from a minor, to a major irritation.
Ultimately, the guys I know have to settle for not playing games very often when they're at home. Fitting their gaming time around their partners schedule. I think it's much better if you can guarantee early on that that's an experience you can share with them. I guess it depends how important your hobbies are to you though, and how much of your time they take. I don't spend a huge amount of time playing games at the moment, but I appreciate having the freedom to do that when I want to.
Common hobbies are okay, but it's also important for people in a relationship to have their own separate lives and hobbies.
I think there are a lot of sides to this. For one, if your partner says they accept something but really don't then there's a huge issue of communication and understanding there. I also think it would show that your partner lacks a general respect of your own personal time and space which goes beyond them just not liking games and shows a deeper issue at hand.
On the other hand, if you're in a long term relationship, especially if you're living with the person it's not exactly unreasonable to fit some of your schedule around them. After all it is a relationship. Not because you fear them getting angry at you for partaking in your hobby but because you love them and don't want to neglect them. I think there is a general flow of bonding time and personal time you should have with your partner and the irritation you mention can occur when one thoughtlessly takes their personal time when you should be bonding. Like say your partner comes home from a rough day and you decide you really need to play a game right then and there.
One of the couples I know has a dynamic where one is really into games and the other isn't. They have other things in common and get along super well. One doesn't have an issue sitting and watching the other play or just going off and doing her own thing. But they also make sure to give time to spend time with each other. I don't really get the sense that the guy lacks freedom in the relationship and has to sneak games around her. He plays games more than me sometimes and I'm single.
I wouldn't turn it down. It's not ideal though, I think evenings add to the atmosphere and also if they're busy later then it means the date can't really lead anywhere.
With that said, I don't think it would make much difference. Either you connect or you don't.
First date? That's pretty decent actually. It's during the daylight which is good since you don't really know each other I'm assuming?
Just use it as a general chance to scope each other out. An hour or two tops and then set up a longer second date for an evening before the end of that date if you vibe well.
I think there are a lot of sides to this. For one, if your partner says they accept something but really don't then there's a huge issue of communication and understanding there. I also think it would show that your partner lacks a general respect of your own personal time and space which goes beyond them just not liking games and shows a deeper issue at hand.
On the other hand, if you're in a long term relationship, especially if you're living with the person it's not exactly unreasonable to fit some of your schedule around them. After all it is a relationship. Not because you fear them getting angry at you for partaking in your hobby but because you love them and don't want to neglect them. I think there is a general flow of bonding time and personal time you should have with your partner and the irritation you mention can occur when one thoughtlessly takes their personal time when you should be bonding. Like say your partner comes home from a rough day and you decide you really need to play a game right then and there.
One of the couples I know has a dynamic where one is really into games and the other isn't. They have other things in common and get along super well. One doesn't have an issue sitting and watching the other play or just going off and doing her own thing. But they also make sure to give time to spend time with each other. I don't really get the sense that the guy lacks freedom in the relationship and has to sneak games around her. He plays games more than me sometimes and I'm single.
Try a different game with a strong narrative that she can enjoy passively and work up to Mariokart. If she's not into it don't force her.I'm still trying to get my 10 month girlfriend to at least play some freaking Mario Kart with me.
That is an extremely tricky topic to bring up. I would only ask if she is giving off serious vibes that she would like to spend more time with you after the date (whatever you're planning to do). Where did you meet her? That's pretty important too. But you honestly just have to see where the date goes really, and how well you both hit it off.Is there a solid way to slide the topic of going back to your place on the first date? Do you just have to read the situation?
The birthday girl I'm meeting this Thursday is a real charmer and I would like to spend more time with her if possible that day. I was planning on asking her out to the Udvar-Hazy center, maybe anything more than that would be too much.
Up to 3 dates this week now, if I doesn't work with anyone I always have the red light district.
Personally, I don't even attempt to bring someone to my place on a first date but I'm not looking for just a hookup. Inviting someone over like that is always implying you want a hookup so you do need to read the situation. There isn't much of a slide though, you just ask.Is there a solid way to slide the topic of going back to your place on the first date? Do you just have to read the situation?
The birthday girl I'm meeting this Thursday is a real charmer and I would like to spend more time with her if possible that day. I was planning on asking her out to the Udvar-Hazy center, maybe anything more than that would be too much.
Up to 3 dates this week now, if I doesn't work with anyone I always have the red light district.
Even when you have got a good reason like you explained here, I still believe that no matter how you ask your date and whatever reason (on a first date) you have to ask them back, it will nearly always come off as you wanting a hookup and that can really sour someone's opinion of you if you want more than just a hookup. If you want more than just that, I'd honestly play the waiting game.Personally, I don't even attempt to bring someone to my place on a first date but I'm not looking for just a hookup. Inviting someone over like that is always implying you want a hookup so you do need to read the situation. There isn't much of a slide though, you just ask.
In general though, it's good to have something interesting at your place to have a reason to go there. A friend of mine has a garden and he'll offer to show it if the girl shows interest in it. I dated an artist once and showing her my own art was a good reason to invite her over. Maybe you have a pet or play an instrument. One time it was snowing and I offered hot chocolate at my place. I've even just straight up said I was enjoying someone's company and wanted to continue the date with drinks at my place. And I always make sure the date location is nearby my place if I plan to do this. It's just easier in my opinion to ask someone over if it takes minimum time and effort to get there.
That is an extremely tricky topic to bring up. I would only ask if she is giving off serious vibes that she would like to spend more time with you after the date (whatever you're planning to do). Where did you meet her? That's pretty important too. But you honestly just have to see where the date goes really, and how well you both hit it off.
Personally, I don't even attempt to bring someone to my place on a first date but I'm not looking for just a hookup. Inviting someone over like that is always implying you want a hookup so you do need to read the situation. There isn't much of a slide though, you just ask.
In general though, it's good to have something interesting at your place to have a reason to go there. A friend of mine has a garden and he'll offer to show it if the girl shows interest in it. I dated an artist once and showing her my own art was a good reason to invite her over. Maybe you have a pet or play an instrument. One time it was snowing and I offered hot chocolate at my place. I've even just straight up said I was enjoying someone's company and wanted to continue the date with drinks at my place. And I always make sure the date location is nearby my place if I plan to do this. It's just easier in my opinion to ask someone over if it takes minimum time and effort to get there.
Oh yeah, that's exactly why I said I don't invite someone over on the first date.Even when you have got a good reason like you explained here, I still believe that no matter how you ask your date and whatever reason (on a first date) you have to ask them back, it will nearly always come off as you wanting a hookup and that can really sour someone's opinion of you if you want more than just a hookup. If you want more than just that, I'd honestly play the waiting game.
It's extremely hard to tackle that subject.
This is good advice. I love boardgames but don't play very regularly (especially since the couple in my regular group had kids), but I've gotten into coop boardgames in a big way to play with my SO.Totally agree with this. I'm into gaming, my bf not so much. He'll play a few things but it's not that important to him. His main passion is music, so when he wants to make music, I'll go play games. Works well for us.
Another good idea is to cultivate a hobby together. Before we met, I enjoyed boardgames but didn't own a huge number, and he hadn't played much outside Catan. But I introduced him to a few and now it's something we both love and do regularly, together and with friends.
Really strange reaction on her part. It usually goes down a treat when I ask a girl to do it.So, I've been seeing this girl for the past few months. We've been intimate on more than one occasion. The other night after we exchanged gifts thinks got a bit hot and heavy. While she was going down on me I asked if she would eat my ass. A look of pure discust came across her face and she just up and left.
Did I do something wrong? She hasn't replied to my calls or texts since. Any way I can salvage this?
So, I've been seeing this girl for the past few months. We've been intimate on more than one occasion. The other night after we exchanged gifts thinks got a bit hot and heavy. While she was going down on me I asked if she would eat my ass. A look of pure discust came across her face and she just up and left.
Did I do something wrong? She hasn't replied to my calls or texts since. Any way I can salvage this?
Exactly :khaled2:Why would you even wanna be with someone who won't tongue your butthole? Move on homie.
I asked if she would come over so we could discuss and play some Okami HD.What did you text her after?
Congrats on the hot and heaviness btw.
I asked if she would come over so we could discuss and play some Okami HD.
let her know you'll do the same to her. Tell her its an out of body experienceSo, I've been seeing this girl for the past few months. We've been intimate on more than one occasion. The other night after we exchanged gifts thinks got a bit hot and heavy. While she was going down on me I asked if she would eat my ass. A look of pure discust came across her face and she just up and left.
Did I do something wrong? She hasn't replied to my calls or texts since. Any way I can salvage this?
Ass eating is very much a two way street. Solid advice.let her know you'll do the same to her. Tell her its an out of body experience
I have had many dates that ended up day drinking and hanging out all day on saturday from 1pm until the next day. It can be a great time.So uh.. What do ya'll think about an early Saturday first date? (12 noon-ish)
Only chance to meet and it's been long overdue :(
Is there a solid way to slide the topic of going back to your place on the first date? Do you just have to read the situation?
The birthday girl I'm meeting this Thursday is a real charmer and I would like to spend more time with her if possible that day. I was planning on asking her out to the Udvar-Hazy center, maybe anything more than that would be too much.
Up to 3 dates this week now, if I doesn't work with anyone I always have the red light district.
So, I've been seeing this girl for the past few months. We've been intimate on more than one occasion. The other night after we exchanged gifts thinks got a bit hot and heavy. While she was going down on me I asked if she would eat my ass. A look of pure discust came across her face and she just up and left.
Did I do something wrong? She hasn't replied to my calls or texts since. Any way I can salvage this?
This guy gets lifeGirls I date have to match only two criteria, they have to play video games and they have to eat ass. If a girl tells me she doesn't eat ass and play video games (simultaneously) I drop the conversation immediately.
The girl I'm dating now eats my ass while we play Rocket League together. We just communicate with each other with the "Thanks!" and the occasional "Whoops..." when i fart in her mouth.
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