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BDS

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
13,845
Everyone with any common sense knows when you talk to an actor(anyone really) about their work you go out of your way to mention stuff you liked.



"Brendan Fraser big fan of your work on Doom Patrol but Furry Vengeance was bad."

"Patrick Stewart you were phenomenal in Logan but boy was the Emoji movie rotten."

"Harrison Ford loved you in Witness but you really phoned it in on Indy 4."

"Viola Davis amazing performance in Widows but the last few seasons of HTGAWM really went off the rails."

"Leonardo Dicaprio Catch Me If You Can is one of my favorite movies of all time but Don's Plum sure was a stinker."




This is a terrible way to talk to someone you don't know. Unless you work for Vanity Fair and are doing a career retrospective interview keep it pushing.

You'd think it's common sense. Polite conversation with a stranger should be polite. When you start bringing in criticism of the person's work it is, by definition, no longer a polite conversation. It's now something else that is far more awkward and likely inappropriate for the context.
 

Bradbury

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,857
Era learn with me
If you gonna be negative about a work of art, use twitter, forum, or write an article about it but DON´T TAG THE ARTIST
this is rude
if you meet an actor in real life DON`T SHIT TALK THEIR WORK
this is rude

see? it´s not hard to not be a dick
 

HeavenlyOne

The Fallen
Nov 30, 2017
2,366
Your heart
We live in a world where the seven year old girl who played Morgan Stark made a video asking people to not bully her family and folks gotta come into this thread to tell celebs to grow a thicker skin.

For me, being rude would be intentional, being inconsiderate could be totally on accident if you for instance just read the room wrong.

Being rude doesn't require the intention to be rude, just like you can harass someone without thinking that what you are doing is harassment.

Out of the story in the interview I can't really see if that's the case or not though.

Why do you think it's up to you to "see if that's the case or not"? Daisy Ridley said it was rude, why do you have to "well, actually..." her?
 

werezompire

Zeboyd Games
Verified
Oct 26, 2017
11,491
Honestly if I ever met a celebrity I'd probably be too scared and awkward to even acknowledge that I know who they are.

Someone I know randomly saw Jameela Jamil walking down the street. She panicked, but wanted to say something so she blurted out, "you're so beautiful." Jameela said something like, thanks so are you, and kept walking. Thought that was a neat interaction.
 

Dekuman

Member
Oct 27, 2017
19,030
Rude is rude. If people take the use of the rude as an attack on them, holy shit these they must not be self aware.
 

Future Gazer

▲ Legend ▲
The Fallen
Oct 26, 2017
4,273
Because they barely know them if at all. It's pretty much akin to a stranger going up to you and saying" you suck".

What? That's a terrible comparison. This person wasn't blaming the failure of the movie on Daisy, he was just sharing his opinion on something that she happened to be a part of. There's nothing wrong with that at all.
 

Bradbury

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,857
What? That's a terrible comparison. This person wasn't blaming the failure of the movie on Daisy, he was just sharing his opinion on something that she happened to be a part of. There's nothing wrong with that at all.
If the person didnt ask don't share your opinions pf their work if them. Specially if you don't know them
 
Feb 21, 2019
1,184
I'll never understand people that take things like Star Wars too seriously.... Its always been just a popcorn flick.

Really, any fandom that takes it too seriously is mind-boggling to me.
 

CloudWolf

Member
Oct 26, 2017
15,687
Why do you think it's up to you to "see if that's the case or not"? Daisy Ridley said it was rude, why do you have to "well, actually..." her?
I'm not though, or it wasn't my intention to and I'm sorry if it seemed like that. I do think that that person was being inconsiderate and of course I'm not at all questioning whether Daisy Ridley was fair in finding it rude. It's pretty clear she did so it was clearly an inconsiderate, perhaps even rude comment at that point to her.

My remark was more about the general gist in this thread on how that person must've been some sort of huge asshole to walk up to her and say that, when in fact we don't know if that's how it went down. If the friend of a friend walked up to her with the sole intention of saying that, yeah, that's being an asshole, but if it was a remark in a casual conversation that paints a completely different picture about that person.

I want to stress again that this doesn't at all devaluate Daisy Ridley's reading of the moment to me, I'm however not in the habit of denouncing people over situations you don't know the full story behind.

I do think that this thread is way too focused on this specific example instead of the systematic issue that the article is actually about.
 

Icemonk191

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
3,814
The party thing is just one example. Why are people in this thread so fixated on debating this one specific incident she described instead of engaging in the discussion on the larger point she's trying to make? Smfh
Because by focusing on this one example and trying to twist it around, they don't have to confront the fact that they might be assholes.
 

SugarNoodles

Member
Nov 3, 2017
8,625
Portland, OR
Saying "I liked the first one but not the second" is inappropriate in that setting because it's not a conversation.

The only way that turns into a conversation is with the assumption that Daisy wants to hear more about why that person didn't like the second one.
 

Deepwater

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
6,349
Saying "I liked the first one but not the second" is inappropriate in that setting because it's not a conversation.

The only way that turns into a conversation is with the assumption that Daisy wants to hear more about why that person didn't like the second one.

Or that she cares about his personal opinion of the movies whilst out celebrating a friends birthday.
 

Garlador

Banned
Oct 30, 2017
14,131
holy shit don't know how I never made the connections between The Comic Book guy and fandom these days
giphy.gif
 

Parch

Member
Nov 6, 2017
7,980
I think it is one thing to vent about how upset you are on a forum or even Twitter but.. who goes up to a person (actor, director, crew-member) in a private setting and uses that moment to shit on something that they did?
This is how toxic internet behavior is bleeding into real life. There are entire generations now who have grown up being assholes online and end up acting like assholes in person. Social media is not correct social behavior. It might be acceptable online behavior but do it face to face and you just might get punched in the mouth.
 

werezompire

Zeboyd Games
Verified
Oct 26, 2017
11,491
As long as you're not personally insulting anyone, not really.

Most people would take "I dislike the movie you starred in" as a personal insult. But even if the person said something like "I really liked you in TLJ, but I disliked the movie" what purpose does saying that uninvited to the person in question serve? It's boorish behavior.
 

Tomasoares

Member
Oct 28, 2017
4,605
Of course that was rude. If someone comes to me and talk shit of a game I've worked with, of course I won't like it.

Don't talk to people outside work environment about their work (or anything related) if they don't want to talk about it, it's unpleasant and unpolite, even if it's for praising.
 

Future Gazer

▲ Legend ▲
The Fallen
Oct 26, 2017
4,273
So what was Daisy Ridley supposed to do with this information that this person did not like TLJ? How is she supposed to respond to that?

I don't know. What was she supposed to do with the information that the person liked TFA? Sounds like she just didn't want to have a conversation about Star Wars, which is totally fine.
 

Bradbury

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,857
I don't know. What was she supposed to do with the information that the person liked TFA? Sounds like she just didn't want to have a conversation about Star Wars, which is totally fine.
I'm pretty sure at this point you're just some sad troll but let's go over simple human decency one last time
Most people are fine with compliments. An unwanted critic is rude.
IT'S
NOT
HARD
Just don't be a dick to actors trying to live, christ.
 
OP
OP

Deleted member 5666

user requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
14,753
I don't know. What was she supposed to do with the information that the person liked TFA? Sounds like she just didn't want to have a conversation about Star Wars, which is totally fine.
Did you even read the article? It is not "I don't want to talk about Star Wars". She is talking about her problem with growing fan entitlement and vicious negativity towards movies and those who work on movies and how social media is enabling people to be rude.
 

Deleted member 2533

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
8,325
At the same time, if you told someone you worked at a bank, and they said, "oh, they were good for a while, but the last time I went into a branch the service sucked" you'd probably just say, "yeah, that's a bummer." The problem is that starring actors are less like you working at a bank, and more like someone sitting on the board of directors at a bank. They have a much higher sense of ownership when you make comments like that.
 

Future Gazer

▲ Legend ▲
The Fallen
Oct 26, 2017
4,273
I'm pretty sure at this point you're just some sad troll but let's go over simple human decency one last time
Most people are fine with compliments. An unwanted critic is rude. IT'S NOT
HARD
Just don't be a dick to actors trying to live, christ.

Nice job jumping straight to personal attacks!

Did you read the article? It is not "I don't want to talk about Star Wars". She is talking about her problem with growing fan entitlement and vicious negativity towards movies and those who work on movies and how social media is enabling people to be rude.

Hey, I totally agree with the overall point that Daisy is making.
 

Amnesty

Member
Nov 7, 2017
2,688
Sadly there is plently of fan entitlement outside of the alt right sphere. You see it here
Yeah, reactionary thought has spread across political ideologies. It's just a way people interpret and engage with media and have been for a while. It's strange in the sense that reactionaries will claim to offer critical analysis, but reactionary thinking is ultimately a barrier to insightful analysis. That's why the 'takes' on various media you see regularly are repetitive and shallow and like they're always the same boring ideas regurgitated by another faceless denizen of the internet. On this forum, it can be seen in pretty much any thread focusing on a show or film people watch collectively.
 
Oct 25, 2017
41,368
Miami, FL
Very nice article, love the pictures.

As long as she keeps her center, she'll be fine. The challenge for most people who have some spotlight and some fame is staying in tune with their soul. People will blow you around like the wind if you let them, and right off the end of a waterfall if they see fit (the young man Etika is an example). I hope she keeps her circle small and tight. Something everyone should do, really. If she does, she'll be fine. Also, fuck social media. Not using it means nothing of value is lost and your sanity and mental health are probably retained in the exchange.

All the best for her. She's my favorite part of Star Wars in any era, and as a fan since childhood who grew up on the OT and love me some Luke as much as the next nerd, that means something. To me, anyway. She seems like an awesome person in real life too. Beautiful spirit about her (and an infectious smile!) that must be protected.
 

Cipherr

Member
Oct 26, 2017
13,484
I called it. After I read that, and the OP, I figured her more core message would be drowned out by people not reading all of it, and merely focusing on the birthday party snippet simply because it was shorter and easy to digest rather than reading the actual article an absorbing the real meat of it...

Instead its just hot takes about that one line. Should have left that out of the OP to reinforce people to actually read more of it.
 
Oct 25, 2017
41,368
Miami, FL
I called it. After I read that, and the OP, I figured her more core message would be drowned out by people not reading all of it, and merely focusing on the birthday party snippet simply because it was shorter and easy to digest rather than reading the actual article an absorbing the real meat of it...

Instead its just hot takes about that one line. Should have left that out of the OP to reinforce people to actually read more of it.
People got stuck on that eh? I won't read back through the posts because I'll probably just get disappointed. It isn't even a long article ffs.
 

Lundren

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,745
I called it. After I read that, and the OP, I figured her more core message would be drowned out by people not reading all of it, and merely focusing on the birthday party snippet simply because it was shorter and easy to digest rather than reading the actual article an absorbing the real meat of it...

Instead its just hot takes about that one line. Should have left that out of the OP to reinforce people to actually read more of it.

The funny thing is that even the word "rude" is being debated. We have to be careful with that word lest we dilute it! Please say inconsiderate since we don't know what was in that person's heart! She should expect not to be treated like a human being with feelings, she chose to be an actor.

/s
 
Oct 25, 2017
12,201
The funny thing is that even the word "rude" is being debated. We have to be careful with that word lest we dilute it! Please say inconsiderate since we don't know what was in that person's heart! She should expect not to be treated like a human being with feelings, she chose to be an actor.

/s
More importantly she chose to be in Star Wars!
 

Laser Man

Member
Oct 26, 2017
2,683
Here is a somewhat controversial perspective that comes mainly from a writing standpoint:

She is of course right that this should ideally only be seen as her job (acting) and Star Wars fans that didn't like the new movies and blame actors for it are a bit dense and should leave them be, unfortunately fame always has these two sides to it. You will be adored if the story works and if it makes people happy. You become the face of something popular and you did a good job, but then after that it can becomes complicated. People attribute things to your persona from the characters they've seen on screen, then you make a new movie and someone else in your new project writes a story that becomes a problem for some fans*, although you did nothing wrong as an actor, they suddenly blame you or second hand blame the people behind you through you. It's not fair but I don't see how this will change ever, many people don't think things through when it comes to movies/celebrities in general.

If you want to dive a little deeper into this topic and where the negativity in such situations originates from then you need to know about the power of story and how it can affect people the wrong way when they are disappointed by story. It's quite interesting but at the same time depressing, in short, you create something people love by creating characters that feel real and make simple but powerful statements that people identify with. These characters will be icons to these fans. If you're not careful with how you further develop these beloved characters then you can indirectly make fans feel betrayed, they actually feel backstabbed and this can get very ugly, you never ever did anything to these people in person, yet you deeply hurt them. It doesn't happen often, is actually very rare but the most popular things (which Star Wars still belongs to) are examples of this.

You can compare this to expectations not being met but what sounds so simple and negligible takes on another meaning when that expectation was the love of your closest relatives to you. It becomes serious business! If that sounds ridiculous then that's because it is, it's nevertheless the case with fictional characters.

*problem for some fans in this context means the above, you created a situation where people felt betrayed. As a creator and IP owner It was your right to this, you can go into any direction you want. If you completely disregard your fans tho you run the risk of creating this situation and there is really nothing you can do about it to soften the blow.
It's the real life version of Stephen Kings Misery, Annie Wilkes the grade A psycho, but she is also your greatest fan and loves your characters. The psycho comes out when you betray her trust in the characters she loves.
When that happens with books in reality, people usually just drop the book because they are angry and then never speak about it again.
Extremely popular movies are a different beast and social media has it's usual unwanted effects on top. More people, more trouble!

People didn't like (hated) the childish humor in The Phantom Menace, the face of that humor was Jar Jar Binks, for them, he ruined Star Wars.
People loved Darth Vader, the small kid that destroyed Star Destroyers on accident and had Jar Jar Binks in tow was an imposter to them.
The actors have become targets for something that was never in their own power to change, they just did their best at what they were hired to do.

My personal opinion is that you can't get rid of this mechanic as the feeling of betrayal is a real thing in those people which then leads to bad behaviour around them, the only control you have on this is being careful with how you handle the writing of such characters! You do not owe your fans anything, but that doesn't mean that it is impossible to not have this happen and you are powerless against it.
 

Nerokis

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,584
Interesting how much difficulty some people are having with her usage of the word "rude."

I don't remember negative intent, inflammatory behavior, or whatever else being a prerequisite for rudeness. If anything, it's usually small things that get that label: someone being too loud, someone being just a bit too frank, someone giving unwanted advice.

Yet when it comes to this particular instance, we're having trouble? You can see why not saying negative things about an actor's work might be proper etiquette: it's just another movie to you, but something of personal importance to them; you've been able to express your opinion as much as you want, but they've had to hear these opinions to an exhausting level; and the pretense that your specific opinion warrants being brought up to them is a little much, anyway.

In general, you don't approach a stranger at a party and just start going off about which of their works you liked and which you disliked. It's a failure of empathy in the same exact way many instances of rudeness are.

Apparently we're so used to just mindlessly spouting off our bullshit that we can no longer imagine a context where we might want to modulate ourselves. It seems to me this is exactly why Ridley would like people to consider that all of this is a job to her, in addition to being something we argue about online.
 

Surfinn

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
28,590
USA
My response that actors, by necessity, have to have skin thicker than steel, or the fact that we've dedicated entire award shows to mocking people whose roles or performances they did for a payback we collectively decided we disliked?
This has nothing to do with the context of what Ridley described. It's beside the point. You don't just walk up to someone and randomly start firing off on which works of theirs you don't like.

Telling someone to buck up is completely off base here.

All she did was describe how it's rude and you launch into some multiquote post about actors who ignore/accept general criticisms? The hell
 

Lundren

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,745
Did you know that some celebrities have pictures taken of them professionally? They book space and hire photographers to do it. They block the time in their schedules to go and do it.

Did you also know that a random person taking a picture of a celebrity on the street while they are living their lives is considered rude?

What a bunch of thin skinned hypocrites they are. How they can accept something in one context and not another really says something about their character.

/s
 

Garlador

Banned
Oct 30, 2017
14,131
This has nothing to do with the context of what Ridley described. It's beside the point. You don't just walk up to someone and randomly start firing off on which works of theirs you don't like.

Telling someone to buck up is completely off base here.

All she did was describe how it's rude and you launch into some multiquote post about actors who ignore/accept general criticisms? The hell
That was not my intent, and I apologize if that's the impression give.

I was mostly lamenting that this is a necessity of what actors deal with in Hollywood, and the best way to cope with it was to not internalize it or take it personally.

Considering how many people responded negatively to my post, I clearly didn't put enough thought into it, and in hindsight it comes across as dismissive and disrespectful to what she's dealing with. Again, not my intent.

My responses were about my own experiences as well in handling negative feedback to my creative works. I get them every single day, and by necessity I have to never take it personally, otherwise I'd be perpetually depressed and have a nervous breakdown. The healthiest means forward I've been told and have found to be to value my own worth and to ignore unjustified, unsolicited, unwarranted criticism, but to also push back against actual hatred and intolerance as it arises.

My initial post clearly did not appropriately demonstrate this sentiment, and I apologize.