DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes

Sayers · Mar 16, 2023

NameUser said:
Just had a bad first date and there won't be a second one. It sucks cause she seemed cool and I feel like I blew it. Like she was talking about old styles of jeans, like how she doesn't know what's in or out anymore, and I mentioned distressed jeans and how they used to look bad, only to realize halfway through that she had on a pair 🤦🏾‍♂️

I backpedaled, hers really weren't that bad, I hadn't even noticed. I was talking about the ones that basically had people whole legs out. Idk, I don't think that's what got me. I feel like I just look better in pictures.

Anyway, I'm bummed cause this has happened a couple times in the past month.

It happens, we all say stupid shit sometimes.

Few weeks ago I told a girl on a first date that I liked her accent and then asked her if she was doing it on purpose. I'm still not quite sure what I was trying to say but it came off as me basically accusing her of faking the accent.

I don't know if that was the only reason why, but needless to say, there was no second date.

NameUser · Mar 16, 2023

Sayers said:
It happens, we all say stupid shit sometimes.

Few weeks ago I told a girl on a first date that I liked her accent and then asked her if she was doing it on purpose. I'm still not quite sure what I was trying to say but it came off as me basically accusing her of faking the accent.

I don't know if that was the only reason why, but needless to say, there was no second date.

That makes me feel better. I was just trying to keep the conversation going and wasn't thinking, but I stopped and looked at her legs under the table halfway. I played it off, like, "Oh damn, you have on distressed jeans, don't you?" 😂

In the back of my head I knew. Besides that I feel we had a good conversation. I probably just wasn't what she was looking for.

Deleted member 5876 · Mar 16, 2023

SmackDaddy said:
ah yee. Sorry, sounds like your impatience/paranoia about what is going on in her life got the best of you. Its okay, its pretty natural.

I am a huge beliver that as long as you are getting what you want communication/respect-wise, its none of our business what they are doing. And i mean that lovingly, as a means to decouple yourself from worrying about whose weewee they are sitting on.

The goal is to be so sure about who you are and what you're doing, that you believe they are just fucking themselves over by dividing your time with someone else. Have faith in your program.

Sounds like the communication wasnt where u wanted it, but i dont think two dates in, setting a minimum amount of texting should be your goal. If you got a date on the books, just sit on it next time. Its awesome and relaxing.

Who knows, maybe sunday is still on. And for future reference, try not to "call people out". Just ask open-ended questions. Like ted lasso says, be curious, not judgemental :)

Just also wanna make it clear its totally cool and understandable that you want someone who makes it obvious you are the one they are focusing on.

I hear you. But it was two dates and 3 months of texting. So I've gotten to know her pretty well and her texting style and how often and how much we texted has been regular and consistent up until this point. I didn't really 'call her out'. It was more of a 'hey I've noticed..' kind of thing.

Anyway, she responded positively to what I said and we discussed whats going on. And the date is still on.

MegaRockEXE · Mar 16, 2023

Aw, for the first time it seems daily texting with this guy has slowed a bit. We just finished going on our third date and we're already planning the fourth one. This date ended with a much better kiss. And we held hands, which we somehow skipped lol!
So I'm wondering what else to do to besides eat or walk? I want to talk more to get to know him. And each time we're breaking new ground. Maybe some kind of shared activity? Is it too soon to be going over to his place? That would mean I'd meet his family and that feels too soon still.

SmackDaddy · Mar 16, 2023

Sry double post

NameUser said:
Oh I did play it off like that. And I texted her after the date, I always do as a courtesy/thanks for meeting up, and learned there wouldn't be a second date lol. I kinda figured just be how she was acting at the end.

It's fine though. I have been feeling pretty down on myself lately. I almost didn't go, but I'm trying to get out of my comfort zone (just chatting too much and not asking for a date sooner). I tried, will give it another shot in a couple of weeks. Probably go somewhere less expensive too 😅

Heh yeah save some dough. Good call on asking her out sooner. People here have differing opinions on that, but ive always been in the camp of getting a date on the books ASAP. Ive heard an overwhelming majority of women complain about dudes not asking them out / talking forever as opposed to women who are put off by getting asked out on a dating app. Come to think of it… i havent heard the latter. Its why we're there. This page or last someone was talking about being surprised by their IRL personality in contrast to their texting persona. I, for one, am not surprised:)

xgalaxy said:
I hear you. But it was two dates and 3 months of texting. So I've gotten to know her pretty well and her texting style and how often and how much we texted has been regular and consistent up until this point. I didn't really 'call her out'. It was more of a 'hey I've noticed..' kind of thing.

Anyway, she responded positively to what I said and we discussed whats going on. And the date is still on.

Ah! This girl. Sorry its hard to keep all the story threads in this thread separated.

Dope. Good on ya for telling her how you felt. Id have dropped it a month ago, so thats cool you've kept with it. Good luck on this next date!! Hope things even out.

MegaRockEXE said:
Aw, for the first time it seems daily texting with this guy has slowed a bit. We just finished going on our third date and we're already planning the fourth one. This date ended with a much better kiss. And we held hands, which we somehow skipped lol!
So I'm wondering what else to do to besides eat or walk? I want to talk more to get to know him. And each time we're breaking new ground. Maybe some kind of shared activity? Is it too soon to be going over to his place? That would mean I'd meet his family and that feels too soon still.

Aw cute! Glad things are going well. Dont take the slow-down as some mystical sign. Just ask him about it next time you hang. "Whats a comfortable level for you?"

Date 3 is the fuck date for me. Always. I dont plan it out, its just usually a bit too much to bear by that point if i like them.

Can you have him over? thats the best way to talk with someone - 1 on 1 at one of your places. Are there activitives in your town? Bowling? Cooking class? Pottery? Painting? Go to a play? Comedy show and bar afterwards? Just ask yourself what youd wanna do / are curious about in the world around you and do that with your new friend!

NameUser · Mar 16, 2023

SmackDaddy said:
Heh yeah save some dough. Good call on asking her out sooner. People here have differing opinions on that, but ive always been in the camp of getting a date on the books ASAP. Ive heard an overwhelming majority of women complain about dudes not asking them out / talking forever as opposed to women who are put off by getting asked out on a dating app. Come to think of it… i havent heard the latter. Its why we're there. This page or last someone was talking about being surprised by their IRL personality in contrast to their texting persona. I, for one, am not surprised:)

Yeah, I find that more would rather go out than text for weeks. I've fallen into that trap. And I don't do it now cause I come across better over texts. This may have been the issue this time. Like we had really great conversations over text.

SmackDaddy · Mar 16, 2023

NameUser said:
Yeah, I find that more would rather go out than text for weeks. I've fallen into that trap. And I don't do it now cause I come across better over texts. This may have been the issue this time. Like we had really great conversations over text.

Nah man, thats you!! Its not "texting you!" And the thing you said about your pictures being better than IRL.. thats you too!!

Hate to break it to you, but you are an attractive conversationalist. Dont take yourself out of the fight before it starts. Walk into your next date knowing that.

AWestCoastDirtyBird · Mar 16, 2023

Wollmaster said:
I would look into going to events, meetups, or getting a new (social) hobby nearby to find both opportunities for dates, but for friends as well. It's definitely tough to get out of your comfort zone, I know that feeling firsthand. Even if you don't meet anyone new, at least you'll have fun being out of the house.

SmackDaddy said:
Sounds like this will be a long, multistep process. I hope you find the courage to start taking these first steps in the coming weeks!!

You might get your feelings hurt trying to get dates or making new friends, but by golly is it so worth it. Regardless of the outcome youll be able to say you tried.

Think of a social hobby you already have, or one you are curious about, and get to it in a public setting.

Start volunteering in your area. Outdoors stuff, building, cleanup, get a part-time job, homeless shelter stuff, anything you are curious about. Its a bottomless treasure trove of potential buds!!!

Do you join a choir? Try out for local theatre?

Id start there and attack dating once youve started making moves. These two avenues - dating and friends - feed off eachother and are improved by the other… cuz the common denominator is you filling out who you are as a person!

Thanks, I forgot to mention that I went to an Hawks game last weekend even though it was with my dad but yeah there's a modern-day arcade place about 5 mins from me that I always wanted to check out, so maybe I'll do that tomorrow or this weekend.

NameUser · Mar 16, 2023

SmackDaddy said:
Nah man, thats you!! Its not "texting you!" And the thing you said about your pictures being better than IRL.. thats you too!!

Hate to break it to you, but you are an attractive conversationalist. Dont take yourself out of the fight before it starts. Walk into your next date knowing that.

Thanks! You're too kind 😌

MegaRockEXE · Mar 17, 2023

SmackDaddy said:
Aw cute! Glad things are going well. Dont take the slow-down as some mystical sign. Just ask him about it next time you hang. "Whats a comfortable level for you?"

Date 3 is the fuck date for me. Always. I dont plan it out, its just usually a bit too much to bear by that point if i like them.

Can you have him over? thats the best way to talk with someone - 1 on 1 at one of your places. Are there activitives in your town? Bowling? Cooking class? Pottery? Painting? Go to a play? Comedy show and bar afterwards? Just ask yourself what youd wanna do / are curious about in the world around you and do that with your new friend!

Well, he pleasantly surprised me later in the day inviting me to a movie for Friday after work. I was skeptical of the movie date at first because there isn't much interaction, but at this point, I just want to spend more time with him. I wanted to watch a movie at his place because he actually has his own room. It's pointless going where I live with 4 other people permanently present at all times.
I have expressed interest in things I'd want to do with him, so I could always bring those up as ideas for other dates. Now, I have to wonder if these even have been "dates". I could not even imagine considering sex this early on. I still feel like I just got to know him and getting that super-intimate already feels really soon. I've wanted to learn to be more comfortable being intimate in general. In public, it's difficult because, you know, the whole gay couple thing could be a bit... uncomfortable for some people. Even in a fairly progressive area! That's why I want that 1 on 1. I want to express intimacy in ways I've felt I've been holding back before.
If anything, he's pushing me along and I appreciate that.

Qudi · Mar 17, 2023

I started using the apps last week and damn this is soul crushing. 1 match, but instantly got ghosted.

My profile may suck or im not photogenic at all. Do people read what someone writes in their bio? Most of the time it's just generic fluff.

Dealer A · Mar 17, 2023

Qudi said:
I started using the apps last week and damn this is soul crushing. 1 match, but instantly got ghosted.

My profile may suck or im not photogenic at all. Do people read what someone writes in their bio? Most of the time it's just generic fluff.

Pictures are definitely the first and sometimes only thing people look at. Try the photofeeler website. People will rate your photos on there if you need help picking good ones. Shockingly the photos I had been using for a long time were some of my lowest rated. Use ones that are focused, well lit and have you smiling. One or two full body shots is good and a few activity shots is good too. Selfies are not recommended for men.

That may help, but I hear online dating these days is pretty tough even with a good profile. Especially if you live in a more rural area. Keep trying. Good luck!

NameUser · Mar 17, 2023

One thing I will say is I'd recommend Hinge over Tinder. I never had any luck on the ladder, but the former has lead to new matches daily.

Zombine · Mar 17, 2023

NameUser said:
One thing I will say is I'd recommend Hinge over Tinder. I never had any luck on the ladder, but the former has lead to new matches daily.

I've had "luck" on both, but you get a different quality of person on Hinge. Never met a single person who was 100% serious or dedicated on Tinder.

My worst app is Bumble. When I'm active I don't even bother downloading it anymore. Relying too much on women to initiate here is impossible. They also seem the most driven by money/status. I also don't think the people are as attractive. Tinder and Hinge play better into my ability to stand out and communicate.

MasaDrew · Mar 17, 2023

TBH when i'm on the apps my brain goes through this flowchart.

Are they attractive?
Whats their location? eg I'm in Atlanta a major hub city. If they're not local or driveable i'm not wasting my time.
Age? I don't date under 25. Lately I've been looking for 30+
Relationship dynamic or expectations
Political views

For tinder the first 3 are what I look for, and if they actually put something in their bio cool. Hinge gives more info and can be more telling. Moderate? No ma'am. Scammers also are too lazy to change their SO to gay so its easy to be aware.

Anyways, I confronted my ex. He deflected saying he wasn't looking for someone and can't control when someone comes into his life. I told him its not my business if he's dating someone, but what pisses me off is that the whole notion makes his entire reasoning for breaking up disingenuous. And at this point I wasn't expecting any sort of justice or explanation. I've spent most of my life forgiving and forgetting and not saying a word how I feel. I was hurt by the situation and my ass is going to express myself. And atleast with that I feel better.

I'm so excited for my date tomorrow. Not so much the antiquing but since he's really into it I feel like i'm going to learn a fair bit about the ins and outs. And my body is ready for topakki

I have a 3rd date night with a more local guy monday evening. We're going do a little drawing date and play some games.

Camp1nCarl · Mar 17, 2023

NameUser said:
One thing I will say is I'd recommend Hinge over Tinder. I never had any luck on the ladder, but the former has lead to new matches daily.

I think it depends on your area and what you are looking for too, so it's worth trying all of the apps you can handle lol. Tinder for hooking up and short term flings and Hinge for long term relationships. Can you find the opposite on both? Sure, but that's primarily what each user base is interested in.

I see Chosen has been having some success lately, but have the apps been quiet for anyone else the past two weeks or so? I'm seeing around half to a quarter of the activity I was seeing even when I wasn't actively swiping haha. Maybe Hinge is throttling on purpose when they see you are back to active to get you to pay which I wouldn't be surprised. Or it's getting warmer so people are less active now which would make sense too

MegaRockEXE · Mar 17, 2023

The Chosen One said:
The dating app algos are so funny...

So a couple of days ago, I matched with a couple of very attractive women. Usually the types they put in the spotlight section. It was like getting an XP boost because ever since my feed has been flooded with spotlight women as if my level cap was raised and I'm able to enter a new region, lol. And since more are in my feed, I'm matching with more so it's creating a snowball effect. Basically another version of the rich keep getting richer.

I know a good chunk of these matches will probably be a waste of time or counter-productive. But it's certainly tempting to enjoy this mini Gold Rush for however long the algos are in my favor. I'm hoping to filter through the noise and get at least 1-2 quality prospects out of this. The one thing that's kinda been missing in my recent dates is the immediate feeling of "Wow, she's beautiful/stunningly cute!" They've been above average where I can certainly see attraction building if other elements are in place, but not necessarily a "head turner" for me.

With my recent dates I've been going more for "balanced" sliders. In some ways, it's helped because I'm getting more 2nd dates. But as I mentioned in my last update, things still aren't necessarily going smoothly and certainly not at a pace where the attraction can grow. So while the app algos are in my favor I might as well try to go on a date with a spotlight woman that I have some common interests with and see how things go.

I wanted comment on this because I was also starting to see the same thing. Glad it's not just me. It seems like it takes a while for the algo to really get to know your likes. It's scary good when it's works that way. It's almost a shame I like the thing I have going with my current date. Because when I've popped in from the notifications the app sends me, the people I see are real head-turners, as you said. Ah, but it's probably just the thrill of the search. I'm sure that will get frustrating when they don't end up matching...

Vommy · Mar 17, 2023

Having a first date after my breakup in a few hours. I'm way more nervous than I thought I'd be. God, I really don't like dating.

Sayers · Mar 17, 2023

Camp1nCarl said:
I see Chosen has been having some success lately, but have the apps been quiet for anyone else the past two weeks or so? I'm seeing around half to a quarter of the activity I was seeing even when I wasn't actively swiping haha. Maybe Hinge is throttling on purpose when they see you are back to active to get you to pay which I wouldn't be surprised. Or it's getting warmer so people are less active now which would make sense too

Hinge has been dead for me for about a month and then I got 4 matches this week. So maybe they throttled it for a bit right after the new sub came online.

Or maybe it's all just dumb luck.

SmackDaddy · Mar 17, 2023

Vommy said:
Having a first date after my breakup in a few hours. I'm way more nervous than I thought I'd be. God, I really don't like dating.

Dont vom yo!

Dating is amazing. You get to meet a new person who you probably would never have met otherwise. You might be nervous because you're looking at this like a job interview. You arent trying out to win this persons affections. Youre dipping your toe into the water of possibility of the chemistry working out between you two.

Challenge yourself to see it in a new perspective.

Have fuuuuuun!

Vommy · Mar 17, 2023

SmackDaddy said:
Dont vom yo!

Dating is amazing. You get to meet a new person who you probably would never have met otherwise. You might be nervous because you're looking at this like a job interview. You arent trying out to win this persons affections. Youre dipping your toe into the water of possibility of the chemistry working out between you two.

Challenge yourself to see it in a new perspective.

Have fuuuuuun!

Thanks for the kind words. You're right about the different perspective.
The date went okayish. I don't see another one with her.
Maybe next time will work out better :)

Guts Of Thor · Mar 17, 2023

My friend thinks I fucked up and over reacted to my situation I posted about yesterday. I'll post the sequence of events so you all can judge lol.

Please be honest with me.

Feb 16th - We first meet and make out in my car. She lets me know she's not monogamous which I'm ok with.

Feb 25th - Supposed to meet this day but she tells me that morning that she may have to reschedule since she's going out of town with family. Ultimately ends up cancelling 30 minutes before I'm supposed to pick her up. I ask her what she is doing the next day and don't hear from her for 3 days. I reach out to her on the third day and we continue texting and set up a date for March 5th

March 5th - We meet up and have sex even though it was a little awkward for me but I don't want to go into it. We setup a next date to meet up for March 11th.

March 11th - She cancels an hour before because she has to finish some house projects but promises to make it up to me even though she doesn't suggest an alternate date. I go cold on her and don't respond much to her messages on Sunday but on Monday I start responding again and ask her on Wednesday if she wants to hang out on Thursday night to which she says she has other plans which leads me to my post from yesterday.

Keep in mind, this entire time she's texting me good morning and we text pretty much all day everyday throughout all of this.

What say you? Did I fuck up and overreact? Be honest.

SmackDaddy · Mar 17, 2023

Guts Of Thor said:
My friend thinks I fucked up and over reacted to my situation I posted about yesterday. I'll post the sequence of events so you all can judge lol.

Please be honest with me.

Feb 16th - We first meet and make out in my car. She lets me know she's not monogamous which I'm ok with.

Feb 25th - Supposed to meet this day but she tells me that morning that she may have to reschedule since she's going out of town with family. Ultimately ends up cancelling 30 minutes before I'm supposed to pick her up. I ask her what she is doing the next day and don't hear from her for 3 days. I reach out to her on the third day and we continue texting and set up a date for March 5th

March 5th - We meet up and have sex even though it was a little awkward for me but I don't want to go into it. We setup a next date to meet up for March 11th.

March 11th - She cancels an hour before because she has to finish some house projects but promises to make it up to me even though she doesn't suggest an alternate date. I go cold on her and don't respond much to her messages on Sunday but on Monday I start responding again and ask her on Wednesday if she wants to hang out on Thursday night to which she says she has other plans which leads me to my post from yesterday.

Keep in mind, this entire time she's texting me good morning and we text pretty much all day everyday throughout all of this.

What say you? Did I fuck up and overreact? Be honest.

What was the thing you did that was potentially an overreaction? What did you say to her exactly?

The Chosen One · Mar 17, 2023

NameUser said:
One thing I will say is I'd recommend Hinge over Tinder. I never had any luck on the ladder, but the former has lead to new matches daily.

I think it comes down to your communication style and your own strengths as a dating prospect. Tinder and Bumble are much more visual mediums, so if you tick the boxes of good photos, tall, and popular demographic for your area then you'll probably have some decent success on those apps.

Whereas Hinge and other apps that you allow you to engage in some preliminary introductions before matching can do well for people that are good conversationalists. And like NameUser said, Hinge generally attracts people who are looking for actual relationships. Whereas Bumble and especially Tinder is a complete gumbo stew (hookups, scams, self-promoters, casuals, swingers, serious relationships, literally everything). I have noticed that on average when I do meet someone in person from Bumble or Tinder (which isn't often), there's a more apparent physical attraction towards me on their part (the problem is everything else, lol). With Hinge, it's not always clear if they have a strong physical attraction towards me since they tend to look at multiple factors. But over the course of a couple of dates, they may end up realizing there isn't enough of a physical attraction even if other elements are good. I've been guilty of this as well. So I feel with Hinge you can get more matches, but there's also a higher chance of having "false positives" where things seem to go well, but it just ends abruptly. So you just have to be prepared for that.

But yeah, try as many apps as you can handle, lol, and see what works for you though. Though i'd recommend staggering it, so you can apply lessons learned from prior apps to the new apps you download. We all make mistakes initially and you don't want to trash your dating algos everywhere in the first two weeks. :p So maybe go two at a time and then go from there. Experiment which premium features work for you and which are a complete money pit to avoid.

SmackDaddy · Mar 17, 2023

Guts Of Thor said:
My friend thinks I fucked up and over reacted to my situation I posted about yesterday. I'll post the sequence of events so you all can judge lol.

Please be honest with me.

Feb 16th - We first meet and make out in my car. She lets me know she's not monogamous which I'm ok with.

Feb 25th - Supposed to meet this day but she tells me that morning that she may have to reschedule since she's going out of town with family. Ultimately ends up cancelling 30 minutes before I'm supposed to pick her up. I ask her what she is doing the next day and don't hear from her for 3 days. I reach out to her on the third day and we continue texting and set up a date for March 5th

March 5th - We meet up and have sex even though it was a little awkward for me but I don't want to go into it. We setup a next date to meet up for March 11th.

March 11th - She cancels an hour before because she has to finish some house projects but promises to make it up to me even though she doesn't suggest an alternate date. I go cold on her and don't respond much to her messages on Sunday but on Monday I start responding again and ask her on Wednesday if she wants to hang out on Thursday night to which she says she has other plans which leads me to my post from yesterday.

Keep in mind, this entire time she's texting me good morning and we text pretty much all day everyday throughout all of this.

What say you? Did I fuck up and overreact? Be honest.

my first instinct with all of this... is who cares what your friend thinks. you did a thing, told her how you felt, and a date is still on, no? i feel like you're just looking to blame yourself for the success/failure of this thing. what do you need to own and what does she need to own? this isn't all on you. if your friend thinks you should get led around by a carrot on a stick, then more power to them.

1) when people say they are non-monogamous, you really need to ask yourself if this is what you want, or are you just settling to try to get your dick wet? It seems as though you aren't ready for the thought of sharing someone. when she said she had other plans, it kinda seems like you took that as shes fucking someone else, and it seems to have set you off a bit. if you REALLY were just interested in a hook-up, you wouldnt give a shit about any of this. she'd just be in orbit around you until you have sex again.

2) i think nonmonogamy, for most people out there, is not the play. the only stories about it i hear are people using that as an excuse to escape accountability, and they practice it extremely non-ethically, on purpose or most likely on accident. I think to be good at this, everyone involved has to be perfect communicators, or detached from some of their emotions.

3) this girl just wants to play the field. that's amazing. but shes not being truthful with you... or maybe she is, in her own weird way - it just seems like shes not extremely amped to hang out with you, and you know it already based on her lack of response. you ask her out, she says no, and doesn't offer an alternative. what are you supposed to do with that?

4) find someone who meshes with your style of communication and matches your energy. go on this date, or tell her to hit the bricks. doesn't seem an amazing opportunity to me right now. All I know is if you go on this date you're gonna carry the weight of this conversation in there with you. it feels like you think you are getting your time wasted. do you want to spend more of it on her?

Zombine · Mar 17, 2023

Guts Of Thor said:
My friend thinks I fucked up and over reacted to my situation I posted about yesterday. I'll post the sequence of events so you all can judge lol.

Please be honest with me.

Feb 16th - We first meet and make out in my car. She lets me know she's not monogamous which I'm ok with.

Feb 25th - Supposed to meet this day but she tells me that morning that she may have to reschedule since she's going out of town with family. Ultimately ends up cancelling 30 minutes before I'm supposed to pick her up. I ask her what she is doing the next day and don't hear from her for 3 days. I reach out to her on the third day and we continue texting and set up a date for March 5th

March 5th - We meet up and have sex even though it was a little awkward for me but I don't want to go into it. We setup a next date to meet up for March 11th.

March 11th - She cancels an hour before because she has to finish some house projects but promises to make it up to me even though she doesn't suggest an alternate date. I go cold on her and don't respond much to her messages on Sunday but on Monday I start responding again and ask her on Wednesday if she wants to hang out on Thursday night to which she says she has other plans which leads me to my post from yesterday.

Keep in mind, this entire time she's texting me good morning and we text pretty much all day everyday throughout all of this.

What say you? Did I fuck up and overreact? Be honest.

He was in fact, not ok with non-monogamy. 😅

It's okay man, I'm not either. But it sounds like you've caught feels for someone who is also making plans with other people because she is in fact non-monogamous.

Edit:

In Zombine news ghost girl came back. She profusely apologized and gave me an update. She said that I have absolutely helped her and I gave her the few smiles to her face.

Weirdly enough, we are now both going through the same family issue. My dad was just diagnosed with colon cancer and it's not looking great.

SmackDaddy · Mar 17, 2023

Zombine said:
In Zombine news ghost girl came back. She profusely apologized and gave me an update. She said that I have absolutely helped her and I gave her the few smiles to her face.

Weirdly enough, we are now both going through the same family issue. My dad was just diagnosed with colon cancer and it's not looking great.

Really sorry.

The Chosen One · Mar 17, 2023

Pre-Weekend Update

I just had a lunch date at the park for a 2nd date. This was with someone I saw two weeks ago (I had to cancel our 2nd date last week because of a fam emergency). I also was on the fence with her because while she's very cute and we had very good conversations, she's also very short. And I'm not exactly the tallest person, lol. But she's actually the only recent dating prospect that has been texting/communicating with me regularly without me having to initiate everything. So I decided to have a 2nd date outside at a park, so we could walk around and see how comfortable I was about her height. And the lunch park date actually went pretty well! I always thought she was attractive, but she looked even better today. She also wore flip-flops (no platform shoes this time, lol) so I got a better sense of the height difference. I'm still borderline about it, but there were a lot of other positives that I want to have another date and see how things develop. We also had a goodbye kiss, which was nice to finally get over that hurdle again, lol.

Saturday I have a 2nd date with the therapist. Things have been getting back on track the last couple of days. For Saturday we have a movie date for Scream. I chose a movie date because I wanted something where we could be physically close to try to advance things on the romantic level. Our 1st date we already talked a lot over lunch, so I wanted to avoid another "talking only" date. I was thinking about an activity date but ultimately I decided to go with something a little more intimate rather than fun. I'm trying to avoid positioning myself as "fun guy friend", so I'm experimenting with putting things on a romantic track early on and letting the chips fall where they may. That said, we're going to arrive about 30-45 minutes early before the movie starts so we can chat for a bit. I think that'll help warm things up for the movie and we'll still get some actual conversation in.

Most of the "standout" girls from earlier in the week are still gestating in the womb. But one of them is starting to crown. I got her number and in the process of setting something up for next week. It is humerous though how some of the standout girls match with me, but never respond to messages. Or they "Like" the messages I sent, but still don't respond, lol. Very odd. As I mentioned earlier, I'm just looking to get one or two dates out of the recent wave I had and that's it. Not trying to put them on a pedestal. Just trying to take advantage of the opportunity of finding someone interesting who is also a "head-turner" while I can.

Gotdatmoney · Mar 17, 2023

Guts Of Thor said:
My friend thinks I fucked up and over reacted to my situation I posted about yesterday. I'll post the sequence of events so you all can judge lol.

Please be honest with me.

Feb 16th - We first meet and make out in my car. She lets me know she's not monogamous which I'm ok with.

Feb 25th - Supposed to meet this day but she tells me that morning that she may have to reschedule since she's going out of town with family. Ultimately ends up cancelling 30 minutes before I'm supposed to pick her up. I ask her what she is doing the next day and don't hear from her for 3 days. I reach out to her on the third day and we continue texting and set up a date for March 5th

March 5th - We meet up and have sex even though it was a little awkward for me but I don't want to go into it. We setup a next date to meet up for March 11th.

March 11th - She cancels an hour before because she has to finish some house projects but promises to make it up to me even though she doesn't suggest an alternate date. I go cold on her and don't respond much to her messages on Sunday but on Monday I start responding again and ask her on Wednesday if she wants to hang out on Thursday night to which she says she has other plans which leads me to my post from yesterday.

Keep in mind, this entire time she's texting me good morning and we text pretty much all day everyday throughout all of this.

What say you? Did I fuck up and overreact? Be honest.

Reads like a lot of games.

After someone cancels on me twice and the the reasons are not "someone im my family died" or "I am exceptionally sick" I just delete their number and move on. Feels like you are not okay with non-monogomy but honestly, if you feel like your time and energy are being wasted on someone, save it and just peace out.

Dating shouldn't feel so draining and full of second guesses.

Zombine · Mar 17, 2023

SmackDaddy said:
Really sorry.

Thank you friend. It's been a very fucking weird few weeks to say the least. Hope you are doing well.

NameUser · Mar 17, 2023

The Chosen One said:
I think it comes down to your communication style and your own strengths as a dating prospect. Tinder and Bumble are much more visual mediums, so if you tick the boxes of good photos, tall, and popular demographic for your area then you'll probably have some decent success on those apps.

Whereas Hinge and other apps that you allow you to engage in some preliminary introductions before matching can do well for people that are good conversationalists. And like NameUser said, Hinge generally attracts people who are looking for actual relationships. Whereas Bumble and especially Tinder is a complete gumbo stew (hookups, scams, self-promoters, casuals, swingers, serious relationships, literally everything). I have noticed that on average when I do meet someone in person from Bumble or Tinder (which isn't often), there's a more apparent physical attraction towards me on their part (the problem is everything else, lol). With Hinge, it's not always clear if they have a strong physical attraction towards me since they tend to look at multiple factors. But over the course of a couple of dates, they may end up realizing there isn't enough of a physical attraction even if other elements are good. I've been guilty of this as well. So I feel with Hinge you can get more matches, but there's also a higher chance of having "false positives" where things seem to go well, but it just ends abruptly. So you just have to be prepared for that.

But yeah, try as many apps as you can handle, lol, and see what works for you though. Though i'd recommend staggering it, so you can apply lessons learned from prior apps to the new apps you download. We all make mistakes initially and you don't want to trash your dating algos everywhere in the first two weeks. :p So maybe go two at a time and then go from there. Experiment which premium features work for you and which are a complete money pit to avoid.

I got almost no matches on Tinder. Get way more on Hinge with the same professional pictures lol. Could be cause I'm 36 and that app has younger users, IDK.

Been thinking about my date more, and I know I missed large chunks of what she was saying. It sucks cause I have awful ADHD and my mind goes blank when someone talks for more than 30 seconds. I'd like to tell future dates about it, but I'm afraid that will scare them off. Like, "I'm not not paying attention, my broken brain just blanks out sometimes."

SmackDaddy · Mar 17, 2023

NameUser said:
I got almost no matches on Tinder. Get way more on Hinge with the same professional pictures lol. Could be cause I'm 36 and that app has younger users, IDK.

Been thinking about my date more, and I know I missed large chunks of what she was saying. It sucks cause I have awful ADHD and my mind goes blank when someone talks for more than 30 seconds. I'd like to tell future dates about it, but I'm afraid that will scare them off. Like, "I'm not not paying attention, my broken brain just blanks out sometimes."

easy fix there. dont start out with it. instead, when you do it - "hey my brain does this thing where i blank out, would you remind repeating that last part?" or "i was with you until *blank*"

The Chosen One · Mar 17, 2023

Guts Of Thor said:
My friend thinks I fucked up and over reacted to my situation I posted about yesterday. I'll post the sequence of events so you all can judge lol.

Please be honest with me.

Feb 16th - We first meet and make out in my car. She lets me know she's not monogamous which I'm ok with.

Feb 25th - Supposed to meet this day but she tells me that morning that she may have to reschedule since she's going out of town with family. Ultimately ends up cancelling 30 minutes before I'm supposed to pick her up. I ask her what she is doing the next day and don't hear from her for 3 days. I reach out to her on the third day and we continue texting and set up a date for March 5th

March 5th - We meet up and have sex even though it was a little awkward for me but I don't want to go into it. We setup a next date to meet up for March 11th.

March 11th - She cancels an hour before because she has to finish some house projects but promises to make it up to me even though she doesn't suggest an alternate date. I go cold on her and don't respond much to her messages on Sunday but on Monday I start responding again and ask her on Wednesday if she wants to hang out on Thursday night to which she says she has other plans which leads me to my post from yesterday.

Keep in mind, this entire time she's texting me good morning and we text pretty much all day everyday throughout all of this.

What say you? Did I fuck up and overreact? Be honest.

If I were in your shoes, the big thing for me would be the 30-60 last minute cancelations. You said it's supposed to be a casual/hookup thing, so cancelations and impromptu hang-outs are going to be the name of the game. It's just the last second cancelations aren't respecting my time, so I would just say we can keep talking and everything, but don't cancel on me on the day of. Your tolerance may be different on what's comfortable for you, so it's all about communicating what's acceptable for you.

I do think for a hookup, it's going to be difficult to plan things several days out. She already communicated to you that she has a lot of things going on and your priority level will be constantly shifting. Like SmackDaddy said, you kind of have to decide whether you can go with the flow with her and enjoy the good sex when it randomly occurs (even if it takes two cancelations for every date). Or if it's just not something you're looking for. There's no overreacting, it's whatever is right for you.

I definitely recommend to actively start pursuing dates with other people. Don't let this girl take too much of your mind's bandwidth because she will frustrate you. And yeah if you find yourself feeling in a state of stress too often then good sex every couple of weeks may not be worth the headaches. As the other poster pointed out, just because someone says they're "non-monogamous" doesn't give them an excuse to be poor communicators or completely disrespect your time.

NameUser · Mar 17, 2023

SmackDaddy said:
easy fix there. dont start out with it. instead, when you do it - "hey my brain does this thing where i blank out, would you remind repeating that last part?" or "i was with you until *blank*"

Yeah I'll do that. I also find myself clinging to something they said at the start, and I come up with a reply and forget everything else they're saying, it's like I'm waiting for them to stop so I can circle back to that one point. So they're like, "That's what you got out of that?"

My date said something about how her salon does hair for non-binary people and explained some stuff about the business and how the pay structure went, and all I could do was make a comment about her doing my hair (cause it's long and she showed me some of her braid work). Haha, shit was bad. I probably seemed so insensitive and self-centered.

shoptroll · Mar 17, 2023

Had some sorta awkward flirting over text with the woman I'm seeing tomorrow for a hike and then dinner... somewhere. Gave her two options, one of which was very near to me because she had previously expressed enthusiasm for it. Which, as you can imagine, raised some eyebrows and sparked a flirty "oh is there something else planned?" conversation. Which, being an overthinker, I instantly assume anyone flirting with me just wants to get into bed with me. Really not sure how to not do that 🤦‍♂️ Any advice?

Also, what are good things to ask about on a second date? I'm not really sure what to ask about in terms of past relationships and trying to suss out red flags past the superficial stuff :\

Hidden content

Zombine said:
In Zombine news ghost girl came back. She profusely apologized and gave me an update. She said that I have absolutely helped her and I gave her the few smiles to her face.

Weirdly enough, we are now both going through the same family issue. My dad was just diagnosed with colon cancer and it's not looking great.

That's awesome ghost girl finally materialized again and was apologetic about it. I hope things improve with her!

And sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis :(

Zombine · Mar 17, 2023

shoptroll said:
Had some sorta awkward flirting over text with the woman I'm seeing tomorrow for a hike and then dinner... somewhere. Gave her two options, one of which was very near to me because she had previously expressed enthusiasm for it. Which, as you can imagine, raised some eyebrows and sparked a flirty "oh is there something else planned?" conversation. Which, being an overthinker, I instantly assume anyone flirting with me just wants to get into bed with me. Really not sure how to not do that 🤦‍♂️ Any advice?

Also, what are good things to ask about for a second date? I'm not really sure what to ask about in terms of past relationships and trying to suss out red flags past the superficial stuff :\

[Hidden content]

That's awesome ghost girl finally materialized again and was apologetic about it. I hope things improve with her!

And sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis :(

I can't really fathom what she's going through, but to reach out again to let me know that I did nothing wrong and that she appreciates my messages means a lot. I had a few days there where I mayyyyyyyyyy have been a little emotional and she reassured me that what I've done for her means more than anything. I'm going to wait for her because it feels really different. I have my own life changes going on as well.

I am currently drunk so idk if it makes sense but yeah, it was very sweet of her to reach out.

shoptroll · Mar 17, 2023

Zombine said:
I can't really fathom what she's going through, but to reach out again to let me know that I did nothing wrong and that she appreciates my messages means a lot. I had a few days there where I mayyyyyyyyyy have been a little emotional and she reassured me that what I've done for her means more than anything. I'm going to wait for her because it feels really different. I have my own life changes going on as well.

I am currently drunk so idk if it makes sense but yeah, it was very sweet of her to reach out.

Makes perfect sense. That's really good she reassured you that you did nothing wrong. Next time just don't panic or take it personally when it happens (which is easier said that done) 😃

Zombine · Mar 17, 2023

shoptroll said:
Makes perfect sense. That's really good she reassured you that you did nothing wrong. Next time just don't panic or take it personally when it happens (which is easier said that done) 😃

You're telling me 😂

Guts Of Thor · Mar 17, 2023

SmackDaddy said:
What was the thing you did that was potentially an overreaction? What did you say to her exactly?

This is exactly what I texted her.

"I'm getting mixed signals about how invested you are in us seeing each other. You've cancelled twice on me short notice but yet at the same time we text everyday and while I do enjoy conversing with you, I'd like to set up solid plans with you."

To which she replied and I'm summing it up, "I'm sorry I was a flake, I'm trying to balance a lot of things right and am dealing with personal and family things and won't be able to meet for a while but I totally understand where you are coming from. Thank you for telling me what you need."

I told her to give me a shout whenever she felt ready again and left it at that.

My friend thinks that I should've kept going forward with her since she was communicating with me daily and that I jumped the gun on confronting her about it and should've had more patience. I don't see anything wrong with what I said though? I wasn't ending it I was just saying I want to make solid plans with her.

SmackDaddy said:
my first instinct with all of this... is who cares what your friend thinks. you did a thing, told her how you felt, and a date is still on, no? i feel like you're just looking to blame yourself for the success/failure of this thing. what do you need to own and what does she need to own? this isn't all on you. if your friend thinks you should get led around by a carrot on a stick, then more power to them.

1) when people say they are non-monogamous, you really need to ask yourself if this is what you want, or are you just settling to try to get your dick wet? It seems as though you aren't ready for the thought of sharing someone. when she said she had other plans, it kinda seems like you took that as shes fucking someone else, and it seems to have set you off a bit. if you REALLY were just interested in a hook-up, you wouldnt give a shit about any of this. she'd just be in orbit around you until you have sex again.

2) i think nonmonogamy, for most people out there, is not the play. the only stories about it i hear are people using that as an excuse to escape accountability, and they practice it extremely non-ethically, on purpose or most likely on accident. I think to be good at this, everyone involved has to be perfect communicators, or detached from some of their emotions.

3) this girl just wants to play the field. that's amazing. but shes not being truthful with you... or maybe she is, in her own weird way - it just seems like shes not extremely amped to hang out with you, and you know it already based on her lack of response. you ask her out, she says no, and doesn't offer an alternative. what are you supposed to do with that?

4) find someone who meshes with your style of communication and matches your energy. go on this date, or tell her to hit the bricks. doesn't seem an amazing opportunity to me right now. All I know is if you go on this date you're gonna carry the weight of this conversation in there with you. it feels like you think you are getting your time wasted. do you want to spend more of it on her?

There isn't another date with her. After her text, it reads like she ended it.

I can't quote everybody but reading the different posts and seeing the situation in writing, I can see that I fucked up and should've had more patience with her like TheChosenOne said. I honestly didn't care that she was seeing other people, I'm just new to this scene and was thinking with a more monogamous mindset. I re-entered the dating scene a few months ago with a promise to myself that I was going into this with no expectations and I ended up breaking the promise to myself with this lol.

Oh well, it's over and done with. I have a date with another woman tomorrow afternoon and am meeting another woman that my friend knows tomorrow night so maybe I'll have better luck.

The Chosen One · Mar 17, 2023

shoptroll said:
Had some sorta awkward flirting over text with the woman I'm seeing tomorrow for a hike and then dinner... somewhere.

Quick question. I've thought about a hike and then lunch/dinner, but the problem is after a hike I'm usually pretty sweaty or at the very least not fresh 😅 What is your post-hike plan to be fresh enough for dinner? Or any other plans you might have for afterwards...lol 😉

shoptroll · Mar 17, 2023

The Chosen One said:
Quick question. I've thought about a hike and then lunch/dinner, but the problem is after a hike I'm usually pretty sweaty or at the very least not fresh 😅 What is your post-hike plan to be fresh enough for dinner? Or any other plans you might have for afterwards...lol 😉

We're both going on the hike so if it's not a problem for her it's not a problem for me 😂 A 3 mile walk on a fairly easy trail at a relaxed pace shouldn't get too bad I hope.

SmackDaddy · Mar 18, 2023

Guts Of Thor said:
I can't quote everybody but reading the different posts and seeing the situation in writing, I can see that I fucked up and should've had more patience with her like TheChosenOne said. I honestly didn't care that she was seeing other people, I'm just new to this scene and was thinking with a more monogamous mindset. I re-entered the dating scene a few months ago with a promise to myself that I was going into this with no expectations and I ended up breaking the promise to myself with this lol.

Oh well, it's over and done with. I have a date with another woman tomorrow afternoon and am meeting another woman that my friend knows tomorrow night so maybe I'll have better luck.

dude, you didnt fuck anything up, relax. it seems like you're looking forward and thats great. if you can't politely bring up boundaries with a date, then its not worth it. she was just interested in keeping the status quo going, and you weren't. and for some strange reason your friend is too.

dont make yourself small and unheard to stay in a relationship. it's a slow emotional death. <--- please reread and understand this, hopefully avoiding my mistakes in the future :P

good luck on the next! this was a great learning experience i think. many more to come! prepare yourself!! :)

SmackDaddy · Mar 18, 2023

I wanna know yalls feelings about hanging out with your partner when they are sick.

Rollerblade girlfriend has a sinus thing, and i was like nahhh dont really wanna hang out this weekend. We just got off a call where i brought it up with her, and as my codependent ass expected (im pretty good at anticipating hurt feelings most of the time) she took it personally.

She said her past relationships (which were multi-year affairs) her partners always spent time with her when sick. I said when living together, id basically be there all the time, but we arent now, so im taking advantage of the space and the ability to opt into russian roulette w/ my health. I ended the call by telling her shes allowed to speak up when feeling hurt, and also tell her i was excited for future plans.

I imagine this is highly personal and theres not really a right answer, and a hope to compromise on it in the future. So what say you, dating era?

Zombine · Mar 18, 2023

SmackDaddy said:
I wanna know yalls feelings about hanging out with your partner when they are sick.

Rollerblade girlfriend has a sinus thing, and i was like nahhh dont really wanna hang out this weekend. We just got off a call where i brought it up with her, and as my codependent ass expected (im pretty good at anticipating hurt feelings most of the time) she took it personally.

She said her past relationships (which were multi-year affairs) her partners always spent time with her when sick. I said when living together, id basically be there all the time, but we arent now, so im taking advantage of the space and the ability to opt into russian roulette w/ my health. I ended the call by telling her shes allowed to speak up when feeling hurt, and also tell her i was excited for future plans.

I imagine this is highly personal and theres not really a right answer, and a hope to compromise on it in the future. So what say you, dating era?

Yeah so I'm a hypocrite.

When it comes to day to day life and being around friend, family, strangers, etc. I am a huge germaphobe. I am very mindful of what I've touched, who is sick, who I'm around, etc.

With women I'm dating? No. I won't get too explicit but things I worry about with everyone else I don't worry about with my partner. If she's sick? Idc really. My partner usually feels like an extension of myself.

I was also actively going out on dates and shit during the peak of Covid—yeah I know.

Gotdatmoney · Mar 18, 2023

SmackDaddy said:
I wanna know yalls feelings about hanging out with your partner when they are sick.

Rollerblade girlfriend has a sinus thing, and i was like nahhh dont really wanna hang out this weekend. We just got off a call where i brought it up with her, and as my codependent ass expected (im pretty good at anticipating hurt feelings most of the time) she took it personally.

She said her past relationships (which were multi-year affairs) her partners always spent time with her when sick. I said when living together, id basically be there all the time, but we arent now, so im taking advantage of the space and the ability to opt into russian roulette w/ my health. I ended the call by telling her shes allowed to speak up when feeling hurt, and also tell her i was excited for future plans.

I imagine this is highly personal and theres not really a right answer, and a hope to compromise on it in the future. So what say you, dating era?

I don't think there is a right answer here. It is sorta that annoying thing where I feel like even though not wanting to hang out with someone who is sick (because why should I get sick if you are sick?) is perfectly reasonable, if it is going to lead to pointlessly hurt feelings, sometimes it isn't worth a conflict. Like if she really feels up to it we can do something super low key and chill. But I personally don't see why you need to spend time with someone sick who you don't live with. When you're sick the point is to get better and not get other people sick. It's just dumb that this suddenly has to be a conflict point even if I would concede because people are dumb about this.

MillionIII · Mar 18, 2023

Yoo had a great date today, I don't go out that much but we texted a lot beforehand and i really wanted to meet her, we ended up talking for like 3 hours I think she likes me:)

MegaRockEXE · Mar 19, 2023

Oh yeah, so my last-minute movie date Friday night went great as well! I feel we're getting a little more personal now. I had him pick me up closer to where I live. We had a quick bite to eat at the mall where we shared some food, so I'm glad he's okay with that. During the movie, we were holding hands almost the entire time that my arm was starting to hurt lol! Just making up for my lifetime of no hand-holding ever haha! I think I'm feeling less embarrassed to do that now. He caressed my arm at times, too. He did say he was more of a "physical touch" kind of person, but I don't mind because it helps break down my long-held boundaries. I enjoy it and maybe I'll feel comfortable enough to do the same.

And at the end where he dropped me off at the same place he picked me up, we enjoyed a little extra kissing. LOL I'm still so bad at this! We went at it like 3 times. But I think it ended right and I'll know how to do it better next time. Maybe... a welcome kiss next time? Actual "making out" (lol) when the time is right?

Ah, but we're still learning so much about each other and I'm enjoying every minute of it! We're planning on meeting again tomorrow. Maybe I can pay for everything this time. He's been awfully generous with me so far.

Also, time to share socials? He brought it up and I wasn't sure if it was too soon. I mean, I've added people for less, but it feels different since this relationship is more founded on romance. It still feels too soon to call it "official", in my opinion. Would calling it be better saved maybe 3 months or so down the line?

The Chosen One · Mar 19, 2023

So I had a movie date for a 2nd movie date with the therapist and it went great. So glad I picked a movie

We watched Scream at a semi-fancy theater that had very cozy seats. I had my arm around her the entire movie and she kept curling into me during the scary parts and jump scares, lol. Then at the end of the movie during the end credits we made out :)

I had three previous consecutive bad movie dates last year, so I'm glad to finally have broken that curse. Overall my dating experience in 2023 continues to be far better than 2022. There's certainly still room for improvement but there is definite and tangible progress. I just had two 2nd dates that resulting in kissing and moving the ball forward in the physical/romantic department. Last year I was almost always stuck in the friend zone.

Since I now have two dates moving towards a 3rd date with things established romantically, I'm probably going to stop swipping and pursuing any other women for the time being until these play out more. I have one "standout" girl that I've already been talking to with plans to meet next weekend, so she's the last one before I shut the door.

Sounds like DatingEra has having a pretty successful weekend so far. :)

Deleted member 5876 · Mar 19, 2023

SmackDaddy said:
Ah! This girl. Sorry its hard to keep all the story threads in this thread separated.

Dope. Good on ya for telling her how you felt. Id have dropped it a month ago, so thats cool you've kept with it. Good luck on this next date!! Hope things even out.

So I asked her today if we are still on for third date. I asked her because I never heard back from her on a time.
She said this:

"More than likely yes. I have to go to my bosses tomorrow and help her with some things. I'm not sure how long I'll be. I assume I would be done by 5 or 5:30."

Obviously this frustrates me because I asked her on this date back on Wednesday and now this is the first time I'm hearing about a possible conflict? And she didn't bring it up at all until the night before? So I wrote this to her:

"That doesn't work for me. I would like to be flexible but I can't make plans on a maybe. If it was just a matter of time but a definite yes then fine. But it doesn't sound like that is the case."

I was trying to straddle the line between being accommodating and firm. Perhaps in the vein hope that she would be like okay let's do later.. like 7pm or something. I haven't heard back from her since sending this message. I think I need to move on.

SmackDaddy · Mar 19, 2023

MegaRockEXE said:
Oh yeah, so my last-minute movie date Friday night went great as well! I feel we're getting a little more personal now. I had him pick me up closer to where I live. We had a quick bite to eat at the mall where we shared some food, so I'm glad he's okay with that. During the movie, we were holding hands almost the entire time that my arm was starting to hurt lol! Just making up for my lifetime of no hand-holding ever haha! I think I'm feeling less embarrassed to do that now. He caressed my arm at times, too. He did say he was more of a "physical touch" kind of person, but I don't mind because it helps break down my long-held boundaries. I enjoy it and maybe I'll feel comfortable enough to do the same.

And at the end where he dropped me off at the same place he picked me up, we enjoyed a little extra kissing. LOL I'm still so bad at this! We went at it like 3 times. But I think it ended right and I'll know how to do it better next time. Maybe... a welcome kiss next time? Actual "making out" (lol) when the time is right?

Ah, but we're still learning so much about each other and I'm enjoying every minute of it! We're planning on meeting again tomorrow. Maybe I can pay for everything this time. He's been awfully generous with me so far.

Also, time to share socials? He brought it up and I wasn't sure if it was too soon. I mean, I've added people for less, but it feels different since this relationship is more founded on romance. It still feels too soon to call it "official", in my opinion. Would calling it be better saved maybe 3 months or so down the line?

aww yay :D congrats. sounds like fun.

dont wory about the socials stuff. just add him when you feel like it.

and classically, a relationship isn't official until you guys have a talk about it. do it when it feels right. all there is to it :) it feels like you want there to be rules to all this stuff.... there aint. do what feels right. if he isn't on board for anything, talk it out.

xgalaxy said:
So I asked her today if we are still on for third date. I asked her because I never heard back from her on a time.
She said this:

"More than likely yes. I have to go to my bosses tomorrow and help her with some things. I'm not sure how long I'll be. I assume I would be done by 5 or 5:30."

Obviously this frustrates me because I asked her on this date back on Wednesday and now this is the first time I'm hearing about a possible conflict? And she didn't bring it up at all until the night before? So I wrote this to her:

"That doesn't work for me. I would like to be flexible but I can't make plans on a maybe. If it was just a matter of time but a definite yes then fine. But it doesn't sound like that is the case."

I was trying to straddle the line between being accommodating and firm. Perhaps in the vein hope that she would be like okay let's do later.. like 7pm or something. I haven't heard back from her since sending this message. I think I need to move on.

bruhhh tell this girl to hit the bricks. shes horrible. lol

if i were you id just stop talking to her. if she tries to meet up sunday just tell her no thanks, and you arent interested in talking anymore. i don tthink you're looking for a hookup, dude. sounds like you want some consistency. dont settle.

xgalaxy said:
So I asked her today if we are still on for third date. I asked her because I never heard back from her on a time.
She said this:

"More than likely yes. I have to go to my bosses tomorrow and help her with some things. I'm not sure how long I'll be. I assume I would be done by 5 or 5:30."

Obviously this frustrates me because I asked her on this date back on Wednesday and now this is the first time I'm hearing about a possible conflict? And she didn't bring it up at all until the night before? So I wrote this to her:

"That doesn't work for me. I would like to be flexible but I can't make plans on a maybe. If it was just a matter of time but a definite yes then fine. But it doesn't sound like that is the case."

I was trying to straddle the line between being accommodating and firm. Perhaps in the vein hope that she would be like okay let's do later.. like 7pm or something. I haven't heard back from her since sending this message. I think I need to move on.

good stuff :D congrats. glad you had fun.

DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes

Big Seller

One Winged Slayer

One Winged Slayer

One Winged Slayer

Chicken Chaser

Chicken Chaser

One Winged Slayer

Big Seller