I'm not really a drinker or a bar go-er. How would that work out. I'd essentially be meeting women who drink but I don't?
That complicates going to the bar for sure. Ive heard people mention those meet up things. Meetup.com or something like that. But I think thats more looking for new friend groups and less about finding potential dating partners but I dunno.
Church. Not even kidding.
Yeah this is how I've met all of my partners. I am deathly afraid of ever trying when I'm not a student, I dont think I'd have the social skills to meet someone lol
I'm basically screwed from what I'm seeing here. lol. I'll probably stick to online dating and I have a friend or two who I can go to the clubs/out with. I was trying to avoid that because I'm not a drinker.
Your a nice guy, she had a good time with you but she's not interested in persuing it. You've got a texting buddy, not a potential relationship. Its too far away "techically" you've not accounted for getting to the airport, checking in, security and potential delayed flights. Let this one go.
You can go out and not drink. I run into people with this issue all the time where they see thier abstinance from alchohol as a brick wall when that does not need to be the case. 1st issue always is that they come across as dull and when invited out the first reason for not wanting to go or appear to not want to go is "I don't drink", and people start not inviting you. So you need to present that situation in a positive or sympathetic way, "I'd love to come with you guys but I cant drink tonight becuse...". Nobody cares in my experiance if you dont drink as long as your fun and have a good time.
I feel you. I'm dating a girl right now who does like 4-1AM usually on weekends and unpredictable days on the week. Meanwhile I work the basic 9-5 M-F so I'm off work as soon as she's starting. We basically started trying to do brunch on weekends to make it work but I still only have seen her 4 times in 2 months.
Dating women working shift work while you have a 9-5 is hard. One woman I was dating moved to evening and weekend work so we hardly got to see each other and that kind of killed it. The only hope is that the shift work party moves to a regular hours job.
Yeah, this is why when women say "I had a great time!" on the first date means feck all if there is no second date. :( If your gut feeling tells you she maybe just being polite, chances were...she was.
Yeah it's real tough. Sometimes she'll have a day free but then she'll have to pick up a shift. She works in a high end restaurant so it's very demanding and unpredictable when she will get called. I've adjusted my expectations accordingly though and just enjoy the dates when we can have them.
It's not just you. I find my drive to date (well, not really date, but fool around with women) changing by the week.
That's about as good as you can do. Benefit is that you wont have as much dating competition.
Well, they would need to teach personal finance and housekeeping before that. To be fair life lessons should be the reasponsibilty of parents.
Good input. I guess it's just a big gap in behavior between me and her - I usually try to be as honest as possible when it comes to my feelings and really was not anticipating any "strategies" - especially as she called to ask me out.
Personally I always give two suggestions for days and let her choose. If she's miraculously unavailable for both of them I tell her to let me know of a day, if she doesn't suggest another one outright. I find that straight away asking the girl to let me know when she's free makes her way less likely to suggest anything, since generally women in my experience just don't want to take initiative in dating.
I was off by one hour, but she wrote me now lol, with the exact excuse. At least she offered to reschedule until after I got home from my weekend trip but in my experience that often means nothing. Oh well
The reschedule is part of selling the previouse rejection. If she follows through, great, but if one of her extended family comes to town at the time of the reschedule you have confirmation its bullshit.
Yeah I definitely had that feeling. Oh well, didn't hurt to ask I suppose.
Not really but I don't get that many dates. I think maybe it's something that could happen if I was a chronic dater going on first dates all the time. I could see that just getting exhausting, in general I have a social limit where after I just want some time to myself.
probably. i always at least mention it because meeting girls at church has a higher probability of relationship longevity than meeting them at the bar
Good luck Joe.
What countries are you both living in? I think the 95/100 is you projecting and "me tooing" to make the tragic seperated lovers story more dramatic in your mind. Sending poetry is Royale with Cheese.
Understood. I know it's overly sappy. I was in a poetry mood, but I guess I'll scrap it.
Yeah, I really feel this taking a toll on the relationships I could have. We were together for a little under a year. Things took off in 2016/2017, but it had to end because of the leaving . We danced around that fact. I just wish I acknowledged that it was going to hit a brick wall.
I'm not projecting, just telling what was felt. We had amazing chemistry. I'm not trying to make it more dramatic, just trying to understand how to get out of this mindset.
