I've been working to get Lookatmego to raise his standards for a few months now. Dont undo all my hard work.
This is bad advice.
Never lower your standards. Instead, have realistic expectations.
To be honest, this common phrase is really starting to irk me.
I hope you didn't use that word in your profile - I'm assuming you didn't but I only bring it up because it's in quotes.I mean, currently my standards are "female, between the ages of 24 and 44 [I'm 34], within ~50 miles, and doesn't seem like a colossal twat."
Not sure how much lower my standards could go, really.
lol just curious as to what dating era would have told you to do, vs what you did if you don't mind sharing.
How do you know he's just messaging "hot" girls? Your advising people to just settle and be thankfull they have got someone who's "beautiful on the inside". Your advice seems to be coming from a lot of presumptions and projection.if you are only messaging the hot girls and its not working then you have to go down a peg and you arent as attractive as you think you are thats reality.
going on dates and talking to girls even if you arent that attracted to them is good for confidence and a good learning wxcperience. he could take that and apply it to trying to meet more attractive people. and who knows maybe true love prevails and he falls for the girl who didnt look so good.
To be honest, this common phrase is really starting to irk me.
If someone is really picky with random things that make them drop a potential date, sure. Alright. Lowering those "standards" makes sense.
But when it comes to looks and general personality/interests, if you "lower your standards", you're more likely to end up with someone you're not really THAT attracted to and have little in common with. That might still result in a relationship because one or both are desperately lonely enough to try it, but it's likely going to be a bad experience in the long run, isn't it?
if you are only messaging the hot girls and its not working then you have to go down a peg and you arent as attractive as you think you are thats reality.
going on dates and talking to girls even if you arent that attracted to them is good for confidence and a good learning wxcperience. he could take that and apply it to trying to meet more attractive people. and who knows maybe true love prevails and he falls for the girl who didnt look so good.
Sure, you seem like your messaging everyone. You've taken "Its a numbers game" to the extreme and thats not whats wrong.Put it this way: Me "not being attracted to someone" has virtually never been a limiting factor in who I message and/or respond to.
Sure, you seem like your messaging everyone. You've taken "Its a numbers game" to the extreme and thats not whats wrong.
it doesn't work like that. if you're not attracted to the person you're interested in, and you "settle" to to speak, you begin to resent that person and it becomes unfair for both parties. being "attractive" is 100% subjective as two people can look at the same person, one sees them as hot, and the other could see them as being ugly. It's not about standards, it's about your perception of the individual. ultimately, you need to find someone that you think is attractive and hopefully your personality matches with that person. i understand "settling" in a FWB or one night stand situation, but never do that in a relationship because I'm telling you it won't last.
Thats true, there are enough reports on the usage of these aps. Class 3 is validation and setting up hypothetical dates. She likes the process of aranging a date but has no intention of following through or its just the backup date because she is waiting on a better offer.
How do you know he's just messaging "hot" girls? Your advising people to just settle and be thankfull they have got someone who's "beautiful on the inside". Your advice seems to be coming from a lot of presumptions and projection.
Yeeeah, don't do this. Go out with girls you like not girls that you aren't attracted to for the "experience."im advising to be realistic on who you pursue and to build your cofidence and to have some fun excperiences by talking to and dateing as much ad you can.
go on a date with an unatractive girl so what. it will be some fun and you can gain excperience and learn how to approach the next girl.
Yeeeah, don't do this. Go out with girls you like not girls that you aren't attracted to for the "experience."
You give the worst advice. Are unattractive girls so so thankful they are getting attention? But you make the assumption they are just for practice so it does not matter, they only exist to make the man more confident? I think it might be best for you to duck out of this conversation because you are not making yourself look good here.im advising to be realistic on who you pursue and to build your cofidence and to have some fun excperiences by talking to and dateing as much ad you can.
go on a date with an unatractive girl so what. it will be some fun and you can gain excperience and learn how to approach the next girl.
well all i can tell you what worked for me. which was messaging a ton of girls and not only just the perfect hot ones. most didnt reply and the ones that did often lead nowhere. a few did lead to dates and even with a date i still was messaging because i knew that a ghosting could be around the corner.
Put it this way: Me "not being attracted to someone" has virtually never been a limiting factor in who I message and/or respond to.
Sometimes online just doesn't work, try offline. Try enjoying or improving your life more in other aspects. Sounds like BS and I thought it was BS but it helped me a lot.
Depending on your age (I'm early 20's) it may or may not be realistic for you to do this (ie. much much easier for me to talk to people at University as opposed to if I were working a job with minimal going out or something).
I agree with this wholeheartedly, (and I'm in my early 40s).As someone in a relationship I can tell you from my experience "offline" is much easier than "online". Online dating sets up unrealistic expectations, and doesn't give you a chance to show much of yourself beyond a few choice photos and a witty quote. Online conversations are slower, harder to interpret while offline you can "read" the mood and make a move. Depending on your age (I'm early 20's) it may or may not be realistic for you to do this (ie. much much easier for me to talk to people at University as opposed to if I were working a job with minimal going out or something).
My god, fucking this.Yeeeah, don't do this. Go out with girls you like not girls that you aren't attracted to for the "experience."
HahaI've been working to get Lookatmego to raise his standards for a few months now. Dont undo all my hard work.
I know it's been called out a ton already but please don't listen to scrubadams advice.
Online dating for me was basically recently seperated women after my hog..
Its also how I met my current LTR
I signed up for Match and was flooded with messages from women around my age (35 then) who said they were divorced. 99% of them werent but recently seperated from their husbands and wanted new penis asap.
Women who message on apps are normal, too.
My GF was liking one of my pics every 2 days as a sign of "hey, message me!" She was the only normal girl out of the maybe 150 I talked to/met over a 6 month period.
I dont know, I think online dating has REALLY reversed the power struggle in dating for men.
This never existed.
Its like 'sex on demand' where as before a woman had the 'keys to the castle' and we would hold onto them for dear life so we didnt lose our access to sex.
Women didnt have the keys to the castle. There is no castle. All sex is communication. Its not an object you can hold. its something people find together. thinking its an object is a toxic mentality, leading to rape and harassment as men feel entitled to it.
Now, I can fire up an app or go online and find sex pretty easily. Women are just GIVING it away now! I only wish I was in my 20's again!
Downside is..
Where it once was men who were doing most of the cheating now women are waaay more inclined cause they are under a constant barrage of oppurtunity.
Wat?
That pretty girl you just started seeing prob has 20 messages in her Fb inbox, 15 in her IG, 10 in her snapchat, etc..
This is only actual on topic thing you said. Attractive people get more messages and you have to be unique or also attractive to gain attention but it is not impossible.
I would SUPER worried about dating under 30. I could only imagine what a 24 year old half decent looking girls social media messages look like...
Lol no. Pretty much any statistical analysis of behaviour on dating sites/apps will tell you that it has simply become more extreme on all ends. Attractive (that doesn't only mean looks but that's a huge part of it) men and average to attractive women have a much easier time finding someone, everyone else has to mass-fire to have a chance at even getting a response, let alone a date. This self-amplifies because women have so much to choose from exactly because so many men spam interest.I dont know, I think online dating has REALLY reversed the power struggle in dating for men.
Gloating about all the sex you have isnt helpful to people struggling.
Online dating for me was basically recently seperated women after my hog..
Its also how I met my current LTR...
...I would SUPER worried about dating under 30. I could only imagine what a 24 year old half decent looking girls social media messages look like...
What I figured. Thanks.
***** Not exactly a model
***** Clear indieguitarstarpotential
***** Viktor's funniest friend
***** I'll come to your funeral
Other:
Useless comedian
189 cm / Perfect big spoon
Charmingly perfect son-in-law
Mediocre cook
Spider killer
For what it's worth, at least for me personally, people talking "about all the sex [they] have" doesn't really mean anything.
I'm a member of AsexualEra for a reason.
Real question, then: if you don't want sex (or maybe you're a demisexual perhaps), do you really think that Tinder is going to work, ever?
Please correct me if my assumptions are off-base, but in addition to your list of qualifying criteria posted above, you've also gotta add "doesn't want a sexual relationship," right?
There is a lot of information here without any citations. Not that I'm an expert, and kind of out of the loop in general, but I'm quite certain women were never just "giving it away".Online dating for me was basically recently seperated women after my hog..
Its also how I met my current LTR
I signed up for Match and was flooded with messages from women around my age (35 then) who said they were divorced. 99% of them werent but recently seperated from their husbands and wanted new penis asap.
My GF was liking one of my pics every 2 days as a sign of "hey, message me!" She was the only normal girl out of the maybe 150 I talked to/met over a 6 month period.
I dont know, I think online dating has REALLY reversed the power struggle in dating for men.
Its like 'sex on demand' where as before a woman had the 'keys to the castle' and we would hold onto them for dear life so we didnt lose our access to sex.
Now, I can fire up an app or go online and find sex pretty easily. Women are just GIVING it away now! I only wish I was in my 20's again!
Downside is..
Where it once was men who were doing most of the cheating now women are waaay more inclined cause they are under a constant barrage of oppurtunity.
That pretty girl you just started seeing prob has 20 messages in her Fb inbox, 15 in her IG, 10 in her snapchat, etc..
I would SUPER worried about dating under 30. I could only imagine what a 24 year old half decent looking girls social media messages look like...
Yes, I realize that means Tinder isn't all that useful (although plenty of women on there claim "Not looking for a hookup / want a serious relationship"), it's obviously at the bottom of my list as far as expectations go.
The "not looking for a hookup" means that sex is probably going to happen on the second date.
Sometimes being asexual/demisexual is just gonna be a no for some people even if they are looking for a serious relationship
I don't know if there's apps or forums or local groups or something for asexual/demisexual people that might be more tailored to yourself than the usual fare of dating apps.
And, I mean, it can be a part of one for me as well. Just that it's not the goal or focus, and not something that would happen quickly.
Well f***
(Or not f***, as the case may be)
What I figured. Thanks.
Anyway, I'd like to get some feedback on my pictures. I'm doing fairly well with matches comparatively, but my game is a bit off still. Still, take a look at my pictures here: (in order of appearance on my profile)
https://imgur.com/a/0GOD4
A note is that on the second image I'm actually just as tall as the guy on the right, but because I'm slouching I look a bit shorter. Cropped him out on my profile tho ;)
I'll post my description here too for any feedback. It's in Swedish but I'll translate to the best of my ability.
Yeah, it's shorthand for saying that they're not (at least overtly) using Tinder just for hookups. It has little to no correlation with what they'd enjoy on dates.
Tbh, it's a pretty shitty mechanism to guard against terrible, misogynistic messages. (But joke's on those poor girls: they'll get them anyway.)
Your profile looks good. The description is funny imoWhat I figured. Thanks.
Anyway, I'd like to get some feedback on my pictures. I'm doing fairly well with matches comparatively, but my game is a bit off still. Still, take a look at my pictures here: (in order of appearance on my profile)
https://imgur.com/a/0GOD4
A note is that on the second image I'm actually just as tall as the guy on the right, but because I'm slouching I look a bit shorter. Cropped him out on my profile tho ;)
I'll post my description here too for any feedback. It's in Swedish but I'll translate to the best of my ability.
There's a whole film about these kind of men who date "unattractive" or lowered standard women as a game. Aaron Eckhart is a misogynist in the film. Not the kind of company of men you want to be associated with...Great film, though.I know it's been called out a ton already but please don't listen to scrubadams advice. Don't date "unattractive" girls because (insert shite reasons here), date who you want to date and don't waste yours or anyone else's time, that's seriously not cool.