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Is there no blocking/ignore feature on Hinge? I'm familiar with serial dating app users, I would be able to ignore them in some way but I didn't use the typical apps.
I ignore them, I'm just surprised that this one chick is that persistent. She's…not my type to put it nicely. But legit every time I restart she says stuff and ignore it. If I didn't match the first 8 times I'm probably not interested.
She left a message this time asking me how many times I've restart. Wtf.
I ignore them, I'm just surprised that this one chick is that persistent. She's…not my type to put it nicely. But legit every time I restart she says stuff and ignore it. If I didn't match the first 8 times I'm probably not interested.
She left a message this time asking me how many times I've restart. Wtf.
I've been seeing this girl for about a year now and things are going great but I've been steadily starting to freak out over the fact that skin to skin sexual encounters with her will be a rarity for the foreseeable future. So for context, she definitely doesn't want kids and has said that condoms will be a must pretty much forever(or atleast till one of us decides to make ourselves childproof permanently)but she's also a germaphobe so other things which are likely to leave a ....mess are also essentially out of the picture(oral,hands) even though she's fine with me going down on her.
I want to talk to her about this but I know her, and she doesn't react to suggestions which take her out of her comfort zone too well. Any suggestions?
I know I posted about insecurities the other day but this one bothers me ,and I don't know if it should.
My girlfriend and I'm not entirely sure if it's to test me or not will tell me about the hot guys she sees out. Like just now she said oh there were 2 umpires at the softball game I would've made a meat sandwich out of... And I don't know if it should bother me
She finds me attractive and will go out of her way to talk to me / see me even if it's inconvenient and keeps me informed of everything that goes on and we talk throughout the day , but has said if I'm the jealous type that'll be a problem.
Logically I know that she's with me and likes being around me (that's another story ) I just don't know if I should just Ignore it as her trying to tease me or be like ... Hey can you not do that ?
I don't even know how that conversation would go we started dating about a month ago, I just don't know if I'm letting my insecurities get the worst of me.
I just know I really like / care for this girl , and don't want to be needy / insecure in blow it. I just wish I could be in a relationship and be like hey I got a lot of insecurity issues and need to be told you like me all the time ... But I know that's unattractive as hell
I know I posted about insecurities the other day but this one bothers me ,and I don't know if it should.
My girlfriend and I'm not entirely sure if it's to test me or not will tell me about the hot guys she sees out. Like just now she said oh there were 2 umpires at the softball game I would've made a meat sandwich out of... And I don't know if it should bother me
She finds me attractive and will go out of her way to talk to me / see me even if it's inconvenient and keeps me informed of everything that goes on and we talk throughout the day , but has said if I'm the jealous type that'll be a problem.
Logically I know that she's with me and likes being around me (that's another story ) I just don't know if I should just Ignore it as her trying to tease me or be like ... Hey can you not do that ?
I don't even know how that conversation would go we started dating about a month ago, I just don't know if I'm letting my insecurities get the worst of me.
I just know I really like / care for this girl , and don't want to be needy / insecure in blow it. I just wish I could be in a relationship and be like hey I got a lot of insecurity issues and need to be told you like me all the time ... But I know that's unattractive as hell
It's natural to find people other than your partner attractive. It's how you interpret that which matters. Is there a legitimate threat that she could cheat on you when she makes such comments? Like take your thoughts to court. What is the evidence for them. Is there a fear rather than reality. You allude that these could be insecurities so are you aware of the possibility that nothing could come from the flirty remarks or expressing sexuality? Would you rather she keep such comments to herself because of your jealousy that she can find other people attractive or recognise that she trusts you enough to tell you upfront so nothing might come of it? Imagine a friend came to you saying what you said, how would you respond to them?
Over the last month and a bit I've been talking to an awesome person I met on Bumble. We've been out I think five times? Art gallery, VR escape room, geocaching. The most recent was dinner and a movie at my place, which ended with snuggling on the couch, a little kissing and big hugs before she left.
That was Thursday night. We chatted normally on Whatsapp on Friday. On Saturday, my message suggesting we hang out again on Sunday was left unread until 9pm that night, where she suggested she was exhausted and would probably rather rest up Sunday. Fair enough.
It's now Monday, and I've not heard from her since then. I've only messaged her twice since (replying to her Sat night message and one this morning), and not only do my messages go unread for really long periods, the app is reporting she's barely even online. All of this is unusual; she's usually regularly online in the app, even when not speaking to me specifically.
The idea that she'd ghost me after this long seems utterly out-of-character based on what I know of her. Possible of course, but not at all in keeping with the person I've gotten to know over the last month. A friend suggested she may have depression and be in a slump right now, which feels plausible, but I've no way to know until she says something.
I'm trying to put aside the thought that it's an out-of-nowhere ghosting and assume there's something else at play, but it's hella stressful. Still hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.
Over the last month and a bit I've been talking to an awesome person I met on Bumble. We've been out I think five times? Art gallery, VR escape room, geocaching. The most recent was dinner and a movie at my place, which ended with snuggling on the couch, a little kissing and big hugs before she left.
That was Thursday night. We chatted normally on Whatsapp on Friday. On Saturday, my message suggesting we hang out again on Sunday was left unread until 9pm that night, where she suggested she was exhausted and would probably rather rest up Sunday. Fair enough.
It's now Monday, and I've not heard from her since then. I've only messaged her twice since (replying to her Sat night message and one this morning), and not only do my messages go unread for really long periods, the app is reporting she's barely even online. All of this is unusual; she's usually regularly online in the app, even when not speaking to me specifically.
The idea that she'd ghost me after this long seems utterly out-of-character based on what I know of her. Possible of course, but not at all in keeping with the person I've gotten to know over the last month. A friend suggested she may have depression and be in a slump right now, which feels plausible, but I've no way to know until she says something.
I'm trying to put aside the thought that it's an out-of-nowhere ghosting and assume there's something else at play, but it's hella stressful. Still hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.
In all honesty, it's better if you mentally move on. You will only spend your days overthinking and overanalyzing everything. If she does message you in the coming days and explains what reason, you can then choose what to do. You can have amazing dates with people and they can suddenly change their minds with no explanation.
The excuse that people are not by their phones much or not online much is a big lie. The vast majority of people are connected to their phone all the time. Choosing to ignore a message is a willful thing. Best to accept you are not her first priority and focus on yourself.
Get back out there and keep yourself busy! This is a just a bump in the road. Get over it and keep moving forward!
In all honesty, it's better if you mentally move on. You will only spend your days overthinking and overanalyzing everything. If she does message you in the coming days and explains what reason, you can then choose what to do. You can have amazing dates with people and they can suddenly change their minds with no explanation.
I totally get people changing their minds, and on some level I even get ghosting. But ghosting someone you've spoken to daily for over a month? Someone you've been out with five times? Someone who you've always been honest and direct with in the past? Does that really happen all that often? Feels wild to me.
Your first point is solid, though. Probably better to assume it's over than torture myself with hope.
I don't think I'm ready for that to be honest. This has been by far the most promising dating experience I've had in... four years, maybe? Is this one really is done, I'm not sure how long it'll be before I can pick myself up again.
I totally get people changing their minds, and on some level I even get ghosting. But ghosting someone you've spoken to daily for over a month? Someone you've been out with five times? Someone who you've always been honest and direct with in the past? Does that really happen all that often? Feels wild to me.
Your first point is solid, though. Probably better to assume it's over than torture myself with hope.
I don't think I'm ready for that to be honest. This has been by far the most promising dating experience I've had in... four years, maybe? Is this one really is done, I'm not sure how long it'll be before I can pick myself up again.
Have you committed yourself to this woman? Is dating one person at a time your style? Have you both declared yourselves exclusive? If not, I think it's fine for you to be talking or meeting other people while you wait for this person to respond (or they never do). She could have a genuine reason to be away from her phone like she's got COVID, bereavement, or something that took all of her time but still could have messaged you in all these days of when she'll be back to regular messaging.
Have you committed yourself to this woman? Is dating one person at a time your style? Have you both declared yourselves exclusive? If not, I think it's fine for you to be talking or meeting other people while you wait for this person to respond (or they never do).
She could have a genuine reason to be away from her phone like she's got COVID, bereavement, or something that took all of her time but still could have messaged you in all these days of when she'll be back to regular messaging.
I want to believe that there's a rational explanation, not just because I'm into this person, but because the alternative is just nuts to me. I just can't connect this kind, warm, lovely person I've spent time with to the needlessly cruel, horrible act of ghosting someone you've spent this much time with. It's giving me a headache.
Over the last month and a bit I've been talking to an awesome person I met on Bumble. We've been out I think five times? Art gallery, VR escape room, geocaching. The most recent was dinner and a movie at my place, which ended with snuggling on the couch, a little kissing and big hugs before she left.
That was Thursday night. We chatted normally on Whatsapp on Friday. On Saturday, my message suggesting we hang out again on Sunday was left unread until 9pm that night, where she suggested she was exhausted and would probably rather rest up Sunday. Fair enough.
It's now Monday, and I've not heard from her since then. I've only messaged her twice since (replying to her Sat night message and one this morning), and not only do my messages go unread for really long periods, the app is reporting she's barely even online. All of this is unusual; she's usually regularly online in the app, even when not speaking to me specifically.
The idea that she'd ghost me after this long seems utterly out-of-character based on what I know of her. Possible of course, but not at all in keeping with the person I've gotten to know over the last month. A friend suggested she may have depression and be in a slump right now, which feels plausible, but I've no way to know until she says something.
I'm trying to put aside the thought that it's an out-of-nowhere ghosting and assume there's something else at play, but it's hella stressful. Still hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.
I know youre super amped on this girl, but in todays dating climate, you have to find some way to get a little distance sometimes.
Its a fools errand to try to imagine whats going on on her side. The easiest thing to do, but also one of the least productive.
Dig back into what youre doing. See a friend, watch a movie, and you gotta find some way to lower the importance of seeing this girl a couple pegs. You can be excited, but the process of letting go and letting the universe unfurl as it will is very helpful in the online dating world.
I've been seeing this girl for about a year now and things are going great but I've been steadily starting to freak out over the fact that skin to skin sexual encounters with her will be a rarity for the foreseeable future. So for context, she definitely doesn't want kids and has said that condoms will be a must pretty much forever(or atleast till one of us decides to make ourselves childproof permanently)but she's also a germaphobe so other things which are likely to leave a ....mess are also essentially out of the picture(oral,hands) even though she's fine with me going down on her.
I want to talk to her about this but I know her, and she doesn't react to suggestions which take her out of her comfort zone too well. Any suggestions?
If this isn't the sex you want from that relationship, and you want it to change, you need to bring it up to them as directly as possible. Cuz if shes not willing to change or at least have a productive conversation about it, i consider this a fundamental incompatibility with your partner. Something you can definitely fix, but it will take a lot of work.
You're allowed to not like something she does or doesn't do, and you have every right to tell her (and id argue obligation to yourself to do so).
I just know I really like / care for this girl , and don't want to be needy / insecure in blow it. I just wish I could be in a relationship and be like hey I got a lot of insecurity issues and need to be told you like me all the time ... But I know that's unattractive as hell
you're allowed to tell her about your insecurities, id think about bringing it up with her if you want to.
i know i, for one, would feel better afterwards. if she's your girlfriend, id consider it a pretty small thing to ask of her - to be receptive to how you are feeling.
I made myself emotionally as small as possible in a relationship many years ago. The regret from doing that fucked me up really badly. Its really important to let our partners know whats up.
Girl #1 who seemed really keen last weekend seems to be ghosting me. We'd arranged to meet next weekend as we were both busy the last two, I guess it's just too long a time period for cooling off/finding better options 🤷♂️ sent her two messages across this weekend and she's left me on read both times.
Started speaking to Girl #2 last night, an absolutely gorgeous fellow teacher who as soon as I suggested drinks asked right away when I was free, which I took as a green flag instead of the usual noncommittal replies. I'm trying to nail down a date this weekend, but I'm remaining cautiously pessimistic...
Honestly it would be nice just to get to an actual first date at this stage... I'm not trying to place all my expectations on one person or anything, I'm just trying to meet people and see what they're like. These talking stages are an absolute death sentence.
Girl #1 who seemed really keen last weekend seems to be ghosting me. We'd arranged to meet next weekend as we were both busy the last two, I guess it's just too long a time period for cooling off/finding better options 🤷♂️ sent her two messages across this weekend and she's left me on read both times.
Started speaking to Girl #2 last night, an absolutely gorgeous fellow teacher who as soon as I suggested drinks asked right away when I was free, which I took as a green flag instead of the usual noncommittal replies. I'm trying to nail down a date this weekend, but I'm remaining cautiously pessimistic...
Honestly it would be nice just to get to an actual first date at this stage... I'm not trying to place all my expectations on one person or anything, I'm just trying to meet people and see what they're like. These talking stages are an absolute death sentence.
Do you ever plan a date in the future and then let it glide until then? Seems like you enjoy constant contact with potential dates. Wondering if that could explain the occasional "cooling down" period that you describe. A potential alternate approach could be letting the first date be the actual "heating up" period, not a text conversation where you miss out on voice, body language, intonation, intent, etc.
Also want to give an update on the stunner i met at a party and had some worries about wanting to see her mid-dating-break:
Decided to just let it slide. My dating break is the main goal right now. Im finding a lot of peace by just living and seeing what connections come out of it. I think by spamming advice on here its letting me hash out how i want to be when i get back into it, lol.
If she was really excited to hang out with me its her job to let me know. Wahoo!
Long story short like 2 months ago i met this woman on an online dating site from abroad but still here in Europe..
We started chat a lot each day and so on. And in June she came over to me and stayed for like a week at my place but we never got into any "intimate stuff" and barely even cuddled or anything.
Still weren't really dating officially really and she went back home. Then she started to message me and being annoyed about my online history about likes and follows on twitter and instagram mostly by women twitch streamers .. some post little lewd in like a bikini.
And I was apologetic and saying this isn't anything serious etc .. and this is "before we met" and so on. But she was very angry about this but so I unfollowed some people and so on to be on better terms.
Now a few week later she found out I've liked a pic of some woman and now just wanna end it all over it… going through my likes on instagram ..
Am I in the wrong here? This is all before taking our relationship "official" or even been intimate or anything like that really.
But she was like "I didn't tolerate this behavior of you following and liking pics of hoes before, now you did it again, bye" (her exact words basically )
Long story short like 2 months ago i met this woman on an online dating site from abroad but still here in Europe..
We started chat a lot each day and so on. And in June she came over to me and stayed for like a week at my place but we never got into any "intimate stuff" and barely even cuddled or anything.
Still weren't really dating officially really and she went back home. Then she started to message me and being annoyed about my online history about likes and follows on twitter and instagram mostly by women twitch streamers .. some post little lewd in like a bikini.
And I was apologetic and saying this isn't anything serious etc .. and this is "before we met" and so on. But she was very angry about this but so I unfollowed some people and so on to be on better terms.
Now a few week later she found out I've liked a pic of some woman and now just wanna end it all over it… going through my likes on instagram ..
Am I in the wrong here? This is all before taking our relationship "official" or even been intimate or anything like that really.
But she was like "I didn't tolerate this behavior of you following and liking pics of hoes before, now you did it again, bye" (her exact words basically )
You are not in the wrong in any way at all. She sounds insanely unreasonable and very strange/controlling to be completely honest.
BTW... Instagram doesn't offer a way of simply going through someone's likes like Twitter does, right? So how did she see? Was she manually going through women's accounts and their posts individually to see if you had liked them? Yeesh...
Long story short like 2 months ago i met this woman on an online dating site from abroad but still here in Europe..
We started chat a lot each day and so on. And in June she came over to me and stayed for like a week at my place but we never got into any "intimate stuff" and barely even cuddled or anything.
Still weren't really dating officially really and she went back home. Then she started to message me and being annoyed about my online history about likes and follows on twitter and instagram mostly by women twitch streamers .. some post little lewd in like a bikini.
And I was apologetic and saying this isn't anything serious etc .. and this is "before we met" and so on. But she was very angry about this but so I unfollowed some people and so on to be on better terms.
Now a few week later she found out I've liked a pic of some woman and now just wanna end it all over it… going through my likes on instagram ..
Am I in the wrong here? This is all before taking our relationship "official" or even been intimate or anything like that really.
But she was like "I didn't tolerate this behavior of you following and liking pics of hoes before, now you did it again, bye" (her exact words basically )
She stayed for a week and you did not make anything official? I will admit, having someone stay over for a week and nothing happening basically means nothing is happening. Did you pay for everything and pamper her during the week?
Sounds like she is finding things to shit test you over. Shaming people for their past and playing internet stalker is a massive red flag for me lersonally. If she is already digging, you should Next this girl and move on.
You are not in the wrong in any way at all. She sounds insanely unreasonable and very strange/controlling to be completely honest.
BTW... Instagram doesn't offer a way of simply going through someone's likes like Twitter does, right? So how did she see? Was she manually going through women's accounts and their posts individually to see if you had liked them? Yeesh...
She stayed for a week and you did not make anything official? I will admit, having someone stay over for a week and nothing happening basically means nothing is happening. Did you pay for everything and pamper her during the week?
Sounds like she is finding things to shit test you over. Shaming people for their past and playing internet stalker is a massive red flag for me lersonally. If she is already digging, you should Next this girl and move on.
I ignore them, I'm just surprised that this one chick is that persistent. She's…not my type to put it nicely. But legit every time I restart she says stuff and ignore it. If I didn't match the first 8 times I'm probably not interested.
She left a message this time asking me how many times I've restart. Wtf.
I mean, given how so many people are on and off dating apps, she may think you haven't seen it. Just press X and move on, no need to be an asshole about it.
Basically, instead of giving someone a thumbs up or down when viewing their profile, you have to go and click a heart button next to a SPECIFIC aspect of their profile. One of their photos, one of their preset questions they answered, etc. But during the act of tapping that heart icon, it also allows you to include a brief message along with that "like".
That way, you're sort of starting the conversation in the process of liking them and it helps make the conversations more organic compared to other apps where you both match and hear the digital crickets at first. Not EVERYONE comments when they drop a Like which can be awkward, but I get what you mean in that allowing a message on the first move (initial Like) is still opening up people for abuse or harassment.
In the end though I prefer Hinge for the ease of starting conversations, though it can be MEGA annoying when I drop a LIke with a comment/question, the person then matches with me, but they don't respond to my question/comment. I give them a few days and nothing. So I usually copy/paste my original message to kind of "digitally clear my throat" and nudge them to reply, and it also serves as a reminder for them to actually LOOK at their incoming likes and READ the messages.
Also hand on heart what guys these day can say that they have a "spotless" online presence where they havent followed or liked women who post lewd stuff on twitter, instagram or such?
The amish?
I dunno, even tho i liked this girl and had feelings for her and such. Maybe i dodged a bullet if i had got into a very controlling relationship if she is digging into my past and get mad on shit i do before we are in a real relationship,
Also hand on heart what guys these day can say that they have a "spotless" online presence where they havent followed or liked women who post lewd stuff on twitter, instagram or such?
The amish?
I dunno, even tho i liked this girl and had feelings for her and such. Maybe i dodged a bullet if i had got into a very controlling relationship if she is digging into my past and get mad on shit i do before we are in a real relationship,
Exactly. Anyone digging into your past is looking for things to start arguments. That's not a great way to start a serious relationship. Unless you have some really crippling personality traits/habits, you really should not be changing yourself for someone you really don't know that well. Without an actual relationship happening, your being obligated to change how you are to suit someone else. *Smacks wrist* Stop that!
Been in a better overall mindset lately on my latest attempts on the apps, not really getting anywhere with anyone but eh it hasn't really been bothering me? Like honestly I can't help but laugh at a couple of the recent string of matches I've had on hinge where I ask a question/answer something on their profile and then they match with me only to just not respond with the match lol
Also ended up talking to a few people who ended up eventually editing their profile to list "Not Political" so that's been a major red flag lately. Not because of me btw, they just added it in on a whim while we've been talking over a few days. I guess they don't care that I have my profile listed as Liberal but like......huh? Who are you? What does it even mean in this day and age? Like are you gonna roll your eyes the same way at me if I talk about universal healthcare as you would at some Gun nut conservative screaming about freedom for guns? lol
Bumble continues to be the worst app idk why I even bother with it, it's just kind of crazy how many more matches I actually get on tinder and hinge. And I mean this totally from over the years I've been using the apps, if I count even the time before I actually had a GF for awhile I think I've only ever had 1 date from Bumble. And it's not like Bumble is even seemingly not active in this area or the previous areas I've lived. It just actually dislikes me I think lmao. At this point for me Hinge is absolutely the best.
Quick update to my earlier posts; seems like the woman in question may have just been having a couple of poor mental health days. That's based on what she's told me, anyway; looks like I'm riding the train for a little longer, at least.
Regardless of what happens, thanks to Raide, Messofanego and SmackDaddy for reading my ramblings and offering advice. It's appreciated.
Do you ever plan a date in the future and then let it glide until then? Seems like you enjoy constant contact with potential dates. Wondering if that could explain the occasional "cooling down" period that you describe. A potential alternate approach could be letting the first date be the actual "heating up" period, not a text conversation where you miss out on voice, body language, intonation, intent, etc.
Also want to give an update on the stunner i met at a party and had some worries about wanting to see her mid-dating-break:
Decided to just let it slide. My dating break is the main goal right now. Im finding a lot of peace by just living and seeing what connections come out of it. I think by spamming advice on here its letting me hash out how i want to be when i get back into it, lol.
If she was really excited to hang out with me its her job to let me know. Wahoo!
There's no rhyme or reason to it as far as I can tell dude, one minute the woman seems super keen and next not so much. I've set a date for Friday with Girl #2, I think apart from confirming a time/place I'm going to back off as you suggest. Last time I did that though the girl blocked me when I texted to confirm she was still good to meet at the bar I'd picked 😥
I'm literally paranoid these days; the girl's seemed keen, says Friday sounds good, and my immediate thought is "How are you going to cancel/flake/ghost/block?". It's literally happened 3-4 times in the space of a few months.
I'm glad to hear you're being austere with yourself on the dating break! I do think let things happen if they want to happen though. No point giving up on stuff entirely.
Quick update to my earlier posts; seems like the woman in question may have just been having a couple of poor mental health days. That's based on what she's told me, anyway; looks like I'm riding the train for a little longer, at least.
Regardless of what happens, thanks to Raide, Messofanego and SmackDaddy for reading my ramblings and offering advice. It's appreciated.
It's good to be understanding, but I would personally still count that as a red flag. I typically give people 3 and If I'm super into them I can let it go to 4 or downplay a previous red flag, but It always ends badly once I start downplaying things.
It sounds to me like you are already taking the relationship really seriously and that could be a red flag on her end for you.
I think being open to see other people until she's communicating more regularly is the healthy option. It can help you prioritize her in your headspace in the right spot for someone that you don't really know that well etc. But maybe I'm projecting. I tend to go all in with the people I'm seeing and the best way for myself to avoid this is to go out and party with one of my female friends and let the night take us to wherever it may lead with their friends/people. Women make incredible wingmen.
Quick update to my earlier posts; seems like the woman in question may have just been having a couple of poor mental health days. That's based on what she's told me, anyway; looks like I'm riding the train for a little longer, at least.
Regardless of what happens, thanks to Raide, Messofanego and SmackDaddy for reading my ramblings and offering advice. It's appreciated.
All I will say is be cautious and see how it goes. If you start to see patterns repeating etc, get the hell out of there asap. Do not tie yourself down to a relationship where "frequent mental health issues days" become the norm. That is no good for your mental health either. Keep us updated.
It's good to be understanding, but I would personally still count that as a red flag. I typically give people 3 and If I'm super into them I can let it go to 4 or downplay a previous red flag, but It always ends badly once I start downplaying things.
It sounds to me like you are already taking the relationship really seriously and that could be a red flag on her end for you.
I think being open to see other people until she's communicating more regularly is the healthy option. It can help you prioritize her in your headspace in the right spot for someone that you don't really know that well etc. But maybe I'm projecting. I tend to go all in with the people I'm seeing and the best way for myself to avoid this is to go out and party with one of my female friends and let the night take us to wherever it may lead with their friends/people. Women make incredible wingmen.
All I will say is be cautious and see how it goes. If you start to see patterns repeating etc, get the hell out of there asap. Do not tie yourself down to a relationship where "frequent mental health issues days" become the norm. That is no good for your mental health either. Keep us updated.
What made this one work was doing a video chat. We talked for about 3hrs before our first date. In my very small sample size, I've gotten a lot of mileage off of a quick facetime deal. You can see the person in motion and feel out the social dynamics and some bits of the chemistry. If it ain't there, you save yourself a lot of money and time. If it is, the first date feels more like date 1.5 and you can probably flirt a little more openly without worrying about balancing flirty and creepy.
Long story short like 2 months ago i met this woman on an online dating site from abroad but still here in Europe..
We started chat a lot each day and so on. And in June she came over to me and stayed for like a week at my place but we never got into any "intimate stuff" and barely even cuddled or anything.
Still weren't really dating officially really and she went back home. Then she started to message me and being annoyed about my online history about likes and follows on twitter and instagram mostly by women twitch streamers .. some post little lewd in like a bikini.
And I was apologetic and saying this isn't anything serious etc .. and this is "before we met" and so on. But she was very angry about this but so I unfollowed some people and so on to be on better terms.
Now a few week later she found out I've liked a pic of some woman and now just wanna end it all over it… going through my likes on instagram ..
Am I in the wrong here? This is all before taking our relationship "official" or even been intimate or anything like that really.
But she was like "I didn't tolerate this behavior of you following and liking pics of hoes before, now you did it again, bye" (her exact words basically )
Went on a second date axe throwing + checking out Canada Day festivities afterwards. I enjoyed getting out of the house, and axe throwing was surprisingly fun. However, didn't feel much chemistry with the girl I went out with, so texted her later and let her know.
Is anybody else terrible at texting when it comes to online dating? I can flirt and be funny in person, but I got zero game when it comes to texting. I just overthink every message. It's weird that my social anxiety is way worse texting than it is actually meeting someone. Some girl just texted me on Bumble with an opening message of "I'd love to rub sunscreen on your back ;)" and I've spent like 10 mins thinking of different replies without sending anything yet lol
Went on a second date axe throwing + checking out Canada Day festivities afterwards. I enjoyed getting out of the house, and axe throwing was surprisingly fun. However, didn't feel much chemistry with the girl I went out with, so texted her later and let her know.
Is anybody else terrible at texting when it comes to online dating? I can flirt and be funny in person, but I got zero game when it comes to texting. I just overthink every message. It's weird that my social anxiety is way worse texting than it is actually meeting someone. Some girl just texted me on Bumble with an opening message of "I'd love to rub sunscreen on your back ;)" and I've spent like 10 mins thinking of different replies without sending anything yet lol
If you are better in real life, just use texting for planning more dates. Don't force yourself into learning some dating meta game, stick with your strengths.
"I'd love to rub sunscreen on your back ;)
"How about you buy me a drink first and see if you get lucky."
Is anybody else terrible at texting when it comes to online dating? I can flirt and be funny in person, but I got zero game when it comes to texting. I just overthink every message.
Oh, god yeah. The combination of me disliking texting and also being crap at it is quite the inconvenience. Actually part of me is relieved when someone doesn't reply because I no longer have to try and think of shit to say, lol.
Martinski just as a gentle counterpoint to the thread's sentiment, I don't find her controlling at all. You're absolutely allowed to like racy shit on social media. And she's absolutely allowed to find that weird or creepy. She might have had bad experiences in the past and after your week, she was thinking about what it means to get more serious. It's unfortunately going to not work out because of a disagreement in conduct -- I'd feel kind of weird putting her in the controlling, stalker woman bucket.
Well the secret is that both parties actively want to be there and keep it going. We started with pleasantries. She wanted to chat after dinner, so we talked about what we had. You can pivot that into talking about restraurants/cuisines you like or your experiences cooking. From cuisines, she told me she was originally from the west coast, so we talked about what each coast did better food-wise. Then that easily goes into the cultural/vibe differences. That's easily 30-45min total.
After that, the bulk of it was interests. Surely you can talk about an interest for 20-30min? We probably did that across 4-5 interests. If we shared the interest, awesome. If we didn't, I am genuinely as curious about her interests as I am passionate about mine. As long as you both actually stay engaged, 3hrs flies by because you're constantly thinking about the next line, the next segue, etc. Hope that makes sense.
Well the secret is that both parties actively want to be there and keep it going. We started with pleasantries. She wanted to chat after dinner, so we talked about what we had. You can pivot that into talking about restraurants/cuisines you like or your experiences cooking. From cuisines, she told me she was originally from the west coast, so we talked about what each coast did better food-wise. Then that easily goes into the cultural/vibe differences. That's easily 30-45min total.
After that, the bulk of it was interests. Surely you can talk about an interest for 20-30min? We probably did that across 4-5 interests. If we shared the interest, awesome. If we didn't, I am genuinely as curious about her interests as I am passionate about mine. As long as you both actually stay engaged, 3hrs flies by because you're constantly thinking about the next line, the next segue, etc. Hope that makes sense.
Exactly. Second date (first was just lunch) with my current girlfriend was 5 hours split between walking/stopping at an art gallery + then moving onto a nearby beer garden for dinner + drinks. It likely could have gone longer still. That's how you get to know someone - talk, learn some of their history, etc.
Exactly. Second date (first was just lunch) with my current girlfriend was 5 hours split between walking/stopping at an art gallery + then moving onto a nearby beer garden for dinner + drinks. It likely could have gone longer still. That's how you get to know someone - talk, learn some of their history, etc.
It was all through Tinder, just one of those encounters that felt right from initial contact.
Speaking of, I totally fucked up my aftercare of this date. Hopefully I'm overthinking it but… idk. I declined staying over for the night, then I didn't message her at all for a couple of days afterwards. Hit her up a day ago since we planned that night for another date sometime we're both free, and she hasn't responded yet. Hope she's just been busy with the 4th/doesn't know when she'll be free yet/I'm just clingy af and want quick responses, because for a casual date I actually ended up really liking her and want to see her again not just sexually.
Long story short like 2 months ago i met this woman on an online dating site from abroad but still here in Europe..
We started chat a lot each day and so on. And in June she came over to me and stayed for like a week at my place but we never got into any "intimate stuff" and barely even cuddled or anything.
Still weren't really dating officially really and she went back home. Then she started to message me and being annoyed about my online history about likes and follows on twitter and instagram mostly by women twitch streamers .. some post little lewd in like a bikini.
And I was apologetic and saying this isn't anything serious etc .. and this is "before we met" and so on. But she was very angry about this but so I unfollowed some people and so on to be on better terms.
Now a few week later she found out I've liked a pic of some woman and now just wanna end it all over it… going through my likes on instagram ..
Am I in the wrong here? This is all before taking our relationship "official" or even been intimate or anything like that really.
But she was like "I didn't tolerate this behavior of you following and liking pics of hoes before, now you did it again, bye" (her exact words basically )
Tbh, I agree with Lumination here. You're allowed to like whatever you want on Instagram and she is allowed to be uncomfortable with it and not be down. All this means is you aren't compatible. Just say as much and move on.
You guys aren't official and spent a whole week together with 0 intimacy. This probably wasn't going anywhere anyway my guy.
I don't think she is being unreasonable more than yall just are on different vibes and expectations.
If you are better in real life, just use texting for planning more dates. Don't force yourself into learning some dating meta game, stick with your strengths.
"I'd love to rub sunscreen on your back ;)
"How about you buy me a drink first and see if you get lucky."
Yup, that's what I try to do. The more I text, the worse my odds of getting a date become.
Going out with sunscreen girl this weekend. :) It's refreshing when a girl matches with me on Bumble and doesn't open with some variation of "Hey, how are you?"
Yup, that's what I try to do. The more I text, the worse my odds of getting a date become.
Going out with sunscreen girl this weekend. :) It's refreshing when a girl matches with me on Bumble and doesn't open with some variation of "Hey, how are you?"
But she was like "I didn't tolerate this behavior of you following and liking pics of hoes before, now you did it again, bye" (her exact words basically )
Yup, that's what I try to do. The more I text, the worse my odds of getting a date become.
Going out with sunscreen girl this weekend. :) It's refreshing when a girl matches with me on Bumble and doesn't open with some variation of "Hey, how are you?"
That's what I'm trying to do this time around... the girl I'm speaking to has said going out on Friday "Sounds good", I'm going to message on Hinge tomorrow to confirm time/place and maybe get her number.
The dating cynic part of me is worried she never texted back after my last non-questioning text... that she'll flake.. that she'll block me... because it's happened so often. But just got to keep trying!