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Does Anyone Actually Miss The Days of Approaching a Stranger For Their Phone Number?

TaterTots

TaterTots

Member
Oct 27, 2017
12,973
It's become pretty common to chat with hot babes online before even meeting them, but not that long ago, if you seen someone you were attracted to you'd have to approach them cold turkey to introduce yourself and hope for a phone number from a complete fucking stranger. Looking back, it seems a little bizarre and creepy lol.

So I have 2 questions;

1. Do you miss those awkward approaches?

2. When was the last time you approached a complete stranger and the goal was to get a phone number? Excluding bars and clubs. I feel like drunk people don't give a shit lol.
 
spam musubi

spam musubi

Member
Oct 25, 2017
9,381
The more important question is do people miss being approached for their phone number, and surely most don't
 
Big Boss

Big Boss

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,469
I know some women that miss it and prefer it to dating apps but cold approaching seems to be pretty much frowned upon now days.
 
OP
OP
TaterTots

TaterTots

Member
Oct 27, 2017
12,973
Guess I'll start.

1. Hell no.

2. Sometime during the late-ish 2000s? I remember approaching some woman at a hippie book/music store and she told me she was married and brought her hand up to show me the huge ring. I apologized and she told me not to because I made her day. Said she hasn't been approached since she was married.
 
MJForum Poster

MJForum Poster

Member
May 25, 2019
6,032
London
The complete cold approach to a stranger definitely feels weird in this day and age, but I do think most people would prefer an in-person introduction among groups of friends who run into each other at a bar or party. Having a friend of a friend is significant in that it provides some degree of vetting....something you wish you had sometimes with dating apps
 
Tokyo_Funk

Tokyo_Funk

Banned
Dec 10, 2018
10,053
Why would I give my phone number out to a stranger when I can contact Local Mothers within 5 miles of me?

One of my friends who constantly got hit on and asked for her phone number would take a dudes phone number, give it to one of her friends and they would write "For a good time call X number" on the back of toilet stalls.
 

Deleted member 1086

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
14,796
Boise Area, Idaho
Apocrypha said:
+1 (555) 555 - 5555
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1Sw1zQorr_d3FOdcCSggFR_iM1w=.gif
 
UltraMav

UltraMav

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,734
I never did that. All of my girlfriends were girls/women I met at school/work/through friends with the exception of one. I'm not pretty enough to even think of the cold approach.

Now, lots of random bar hook ups but that was alcohol doing most of the work.
 
OP
OP
TaterTots

TaterTots

Member
Oct 27, 2017
12,973
UltraMav said:
I never did that. All of my girlfriends were girls/women I met at school/work/through friends with the exception of one. I'm not pretty enough to even think of the cold approach.

Now, lots of random bar hook ups but that was alcohol doing most of the work.
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I've definitely approached several strangers in my day, but most of my actual relationships came from the same as you.
 
Gin & Phonics

Gin & Phonics

Banned
Nov 2, 2017
1,130
My friend still does it. He's incredibly successful at it and not in a PUA sort of way. It helps he's attractive and outgoing though.

Personally:

1. I don't miss them since I'm currently in a relationship. But years ago, when I would do them once in a blue moon, I framed them around seeing something interesting someone was doing and starting a conversation naturally from there. If we clicked, then I'd ask. If not, then it'd just end and no loss there.

2. I did it about 3 years ago and that's how I met my current girlfriend :)
 
Stranger Things

Stranger Things

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,837
Last time I asked a girl for her number was in college (a few years ago). It's easy when you're in school because you can be like "hey what's your number? you know, so we can text about homework and share notes for tests and stuff" lol. It worked in my favor greatly haha.

I never really "cold approached" in school, or in general, really. Like I'll only ask someone for their number if the ice is already broken (they sit next to me, we're in the same group for a project, they have a band tee I like and I compliment them on it and vice versa, we have some other common interest and it's obvious, a mutual friend introduces us at a party, etc). That being said, I've been in situations where ALL of these criteria have been met, and I was still turned down (because they already have a BF or whatever) and it SUCKS.

TBH these days it's much easier to ask someone for their Snapchat or Instagram than their number. It's "safer" to hand out your social media than your number, and it's easy to meet like-minded people on social media as well.
 
OP
OP
TaterTots

TaterTots

Member
Oct 27, 2017
12,973
UraMallas said:
I don't think I've ever asked a girl for her phone number like this in my life. I'm 38 so I'm not sure how I avoided it.
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That is some great fortune, friend. It can be awkward as hell.

Also, I just realized that younger people may never even have to think about this. Someone born in 2000 might be 21 now. This might sound even more weird to some of the younger people.
 

Ashhong

Member
Oct 26, 2017
16,656
I'm sure there are people with that kind of personality and charm who much prefer to speak in real life. Dating online takes a whole different skill set.

I am not one of those people.
 
Summit

Summit

Banned
Mar 1, 2021
338
I've never done this. In my experience, any numbers I'd obtained were after organic experiences meeting someone be it at school, hanging with mutual friends or at some event.
 

talkingood

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,126
lol my now-wife did this to me when I was on break working at a cafe. that was in 2012, we were married less than a year later
 

Deleted member 46493

User requested account closure
Banned
Aug 7, 2018
5,231
I miss meeting people at bars or parties and sometimes it'd lead to an exchange of numbers or IG accounts or even more. It was pretty normal until COVID. I'm in NYC and 27 FYI.

I think it's funner than apps and leas focused on stats, looks, and transactional value but it has its downsides of course. I always needed a more social buddy to break the ice.

Also maybe this sounds old fashioned but I think going up to people and chatting them is a good skill and way to get out your comfort zone.

--

But approaching people randomly outside in regular activities? Everyone's got headphones on lol not happening. Maybe in like a group activity or club.
 
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Deleted member 33533

Banned
Nov 17, 2017
12,864
MJForum Poster said:
The complete cold approach to a stranger definitely feels weird in this day and age, but I do think most people would prefer an in-person introduction among groups of friends who run into each other at a bar or party. Having a friend of a friend is significant in that it provides some degree of vetting....something you wish you had sometimes with dating apps
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Man, all my friends' friends either are in relationships or I have no interest in them. My friends need more friends!
 

Deleted member 4461

User Requested Account Deletion
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
8,010
EDIT: Oh, you said excluding bars

Yeah, I never understood that other thing. We have technology, dammit
 
Wally_Wall

Wally_Wall

Member
Oct 26, 2017
3,128
I miss the days of actually being able to have the option to approach strangers with a full range of facial expressions and being able to read others facial expressions. These masks are the worst! Can't wait until we can do away with them. On topic... Online dating is fine but it would be nice not to have to be limited to it.
 

brjuntinaar

Banned
Apr 23, 2018
447
You can still do it if you want. I asked a girl out that I met in an uber a couple of years ago. Went out with her and the date wasn't great though :-/
 

Deleted member 46493

User requested account closure
Banned
Aug 7, 2018
5,231
brjuntinaar said:
You can still do it if you want. I asked a girl out that I met in an uber a couple of years ago. Went out with her and the date wasn't great though :-/
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I have female friends who are very social and have done this as well, or are open to it. Just saying because here people often assume everyone's super introverted like they are haha. In real life people are more open to stuff like this.
 
BasilZero

BasilZero

Member
Oct 25, 2017
36,400
Omni
1. Nope

2. Never did


If someone were to ask me for my number, I would give them a fake number.

Someone gives me their number, I'll take it but throw it away/delete it.
 
Emergency & I

Emergency & I

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
6,634
I did it when I was single. Some success, some failure. Always respectful.

It usually was a chat that turned long if we were both interested in the chat. By the culmination of we weren't then hanging out one of the people asks for a number.
 
KimiNewt

KimiNewt

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
1,749
I don't miss it, but I wish it was still more of an option without automatically being labeled a creep. Dating apps suck.

Also you can often get a good read off a one minute conversation with a person. More so than a ten minute tinder exchange.
 
Jon Carter

Jon Carter

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
5,746
Was it really common outside of old movies and TV shows? You literally know nothing about someone apart from how they look, they know nothing about you and you approach them out of nowhere while they're going about their day to ask for their number? Then you just call them and say something like, "Hey, hot stranger, this is the horny, creepy stranger from earlier speaking. Wanna go out with someone you don't know?" and this is supposed to lead to a "Yes" in real life? I've heard of the cliché but I don't know anyone who's actually done it. You only ask for a number if you've at least talked about something else first.
 
Grug

Grug

Member
Oct 26, 2017
4,645
Been in the same relationship since 2000 so I have sidestepped 21 years of evolution in courting rituals. It sounds brutal out there. Good luck fam.

If my marriage falls over, I'm just gonna become a monk or something.
 
napk1ns

napk1ns

Member
Nov 29, 2017
1,239
This thread is weird. It's completely acceptable to approach someone and have a moment of exchange. If during that time you express that they seem cool and you want to talk more then politely ask if you can get their number or social. If you were ever just crashing through someone's day asking for their phone number: ouch. Not polite, and not the way to handle that.

also, people still get numbers even with dating apps being a thing. Like I said, this thread is unusual and feels kind of out of touch.
 
gozu

gozu

Member
Oct 27, 2017
10,378
America
I got a couple token dates by asking in person, but the vast majority of my first dates have been set online.

One of my dreams used to be something akin to a Google Love AI product that ingests all your google searches and emails and tries to match different profiles, track how how many dates matches end up going to. Use failures and successes* to adjust the AI and you've got yourself a better version of Okcupid. You'd have to also figure out each person's physical preferences but that would be super easy compared to the personality matching. It would be incredibly invasive, of course, but Google already has all your data anyways, the invasion is done.


Though from what I gather the tendency nowadays in dating apps such as Tinder/Hinge/etc is looks first and personality later. Probably for the best though. We're a shallow species.

* heavily biased towards longer relationships, which means the AI will take decades to become super reliable at best. Google would probably cancel it within 5 years months.
 
Traxus

Traxus

Spirit Tamer
Member
Jan 2, 2018
5,199
Walking up and talking to someone in real life is bizarre and creepy?

When you say "looking back", aren't you talking about the entire history of civilization prior to like ten years ago?
 
behOemoth

behOemoth

Member
Oct 27, 2017
5,633
I thought you meant situations at bars or clubs, because you still can flirt in these Spots with complete strangers.
 
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