My family is african and I understand how strict african parents are due to cultural issues. Now to start off, my dad wants the best for me and tells me a lot that he is proud of me and loves me and gives me a lot of support(academically/financially).
However, when I screw up, he tends to yell(I mean yell/shout) at me pretty strongly and berates me(saying I don't care about anything, which isn't true as i do well in uni and etc) as he is kind of a perfectionist. When I was a teenager, I left my room unclean a lot and he would yell at me to clean it and on two occasions, he's called me useless/worthless due to it. No, I don't think he means it, his anger gets the better of him and times, he's told me he doesn't like yelling to make me feel bad or something but that doesn't make it hurt less and sometimes, thinking about it makes me on the edge of tearing up as it really hurts emotionally.
Last year we were going to meet the president of my country(niger) and we had to wear these long arab styled robes to appear formal. I was wearing shorts underneath and when my dad saw that, he got super angry and nearly swore and screamed at me to change(he probably thought I was being disrespectful but I only go to my home country for vacation and didn't know you could not wear shorts underneath/did not mean to show I don't care but i couldn't explain myself) and he asked if I'm stupid or something. Or like the other day, we have ACS in our house and we can turn them off using remote controls or buttons underneath but for some reason, my dad just tells me to use the remote. I forget the other day when I was going to and he sternly said something like if I don't use the remote again, he'll hit me or something like I'm a little kid. Or even today, my brother's shoelaces started becoming untied when we got home from an internship and my dad was there and started yelling at him and demanded he show him how he ties his shoes and he loosened them and started yelling more at how he can't tie his shoes when he didn't even let him finish doing it. My brother pointed this out but he just dismissed it and said not to argue. So I'm 21 and I'm sick of my dad using his anger to intimidate me to just shut up and take his yelling but if I can't say anything cuz he'll just get mad and I'm just don't know what to do
However, when I screw up, he tends to yell(I mean yell/shout) at me pretty strongly and berates me(saying I don't care about anything, which isn't true as i do well in uni and etc) as he is kind of a perfectionist. When I was a teenager, I left my room unclean a lot and he would yell at me to clean it and on two occasions, he's called me useless/worthless due to it. No, I don't think he means it, his anger gets the better of him and times, he's told me he doesn't like yelling to make me feel bad or something but that doesn't make it hurt less and sometimes, thinking about it makes me on the edge of tearing up as it really hurts emotionally.
Last year we were going to meet the president of my country(niger) and we had to wear these long arab styled robes to appear formal. I was wearing shorts underneath and when my dad saw that, he got super angry and nearly swore and screamed at me to change(he probably thought I was being disrespectful but I only go to my home country for vacation and didn't know you could not wear shorts underneath/did not mean to show I don't care but i couldn't explain myself) and he asked if I'm stupid or something. Or like the other day, we have ACS in our house and we can turn them off using remote controls or buttons underneath but for some reason, my dad just tells me to use the remote. I forget the other day when I was going to and he sternly said something like if I don't use the remote again, he'll hit me or something like I'm a little kid. Or even today, my brother's shoelaces started becoming untied when we got home from an internship and my dad was there and started yelling at him and demanded he show him how he ties his shoes and he loosened them and started yelling more at how he can't tie his shoes when he didn't even let him finish doing it. My brother pointed this out but he just dismissed it and said not to argue. So I'm 21 and I'm sick of my dad using his anger to intimidate me to just shut up and take his yelling but if I can't say anything cuz he'll just get mad and I'm just don't know what to do