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I just learned that I have a learning disability

Deleted member 4292

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
1,885
And I'm not sure how to feel.
I always felt I was normal, besides my social skills, but it explains alot about myself.
I didn't get told what I have but it effects my writing ability (on expressing my thoughts) and social skills.

I've been feeling differently about myself now and I'm not sure how I'm suppose to feel. I told co workers and they just called me the 'R' word and laughed. I just feel like I hate who I am even more, feel lost and I've lost faith in myself even more.

I'm at a loss.
 
smurfx

smurfx

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
10,578
huh? did you go to a doctor to get diagnosed? or did somebody simply tell you this?
 
smurfx

smurfx

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
10,578
IceDoesntHelp said:
Cause it's how my brain works. I always worry and let things affect me more than I should. I also always think the worse thing possible that can happen will happen.
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this sounds like a lot of people and me included. who cares man just try and do what's best for you and don't let these things get you down.
 
OrakioRob

OrakioRob

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,494
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Your co workers are awful people.

I have two friends who are a bit slow at... well, they are a bit slow at life in general, they clearly have issues, and me and my small, but great group of friends absolutely freaking love them. One of those two guys told me he doesn't like who he is, but he feels great whenever he's around us.

If you feel like trash when you're around other people, I'm sure the problem is not you, but the people around you. If you can't quit your job, at least try to balance things and hang out with people who make you feel good in your free time. It might help you build confidence.
 
KillLaCam

KillLaCam

Prophet of Truth
Member
Oct 25, 2017
15,388
Seoul
If you were doing fine before you learned about it , then it's probably not something you should worry about. You're still fine.
 
Ultima_5

Ultima_5

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,673
IceDoesntHelp said:
Psychology test from a few years back that I just found out the results from because my parents hid it from me.
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in a similar vein, my dad found out he had issues in his 50s. His folks never told him cuz they didn't want to give him an excuse. His sister mentioned it off handily one day years after they passed.
 
OP
OP

Deleted member 4292

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
1,885
Hanbei

Hanbei

Member
Nov 11, 2017
4,089
IceDoesntHelp said:
Yep. Outside of the internet I only have my wife and a friend who lives 2 hours away. I find it very difficult to make friends. Always have.
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You're not the only one. I don't have any friends, I only have my mom, I'm single, I don't even have a pet, and I'm socially awkward (and trust me, that's an understatement). But my coworkers are almost all nice to me. Yours, on the other hand, are just idiots to call you that, for any reason. I mean, come on, if someone tells me of something that makes them uncomfortable, or something that affects their life, I would be the worst person on Earth if I laughed at them or called them unpleasant words.

Concerning this learning disability, I don't know anything about it, but surely there are professionals who know a bunch about that matter that you could talk to?
 
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killerrin

killerrin

Member
Oct 25, 2017
9,238
Toronto
OP. First of all, know that you aren't alone. And just because you have a Learning Disability doesn't mean that you are stupid, or R*******. I personally have a mild case of a LD myself and have known several people who have it as well, and there is really nothing that separates us from the average person other than taking longer to express yourself or learn something new. You are still you and don't let others pull you down.

In fact, there are several influential people throughout history that all have had Learning Diabilities. Charles Darwin, Albert Einstein, George Washington and even Leonardo Da Vinci. None of these people were idiots.

So again. Remember OP, you are not alone, there is nothing wrong with you. Your Coworkers are dicks for making fun of you.
 
CoyoteSpitfire

CoyoteSpitfire

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,202
I have a pretty strong suspicion that I do as well, but I've never been formally tested. It's awful to feel like you were just born wrong and that everything even down to the minute-to-minute functions of your brain is just another failure. But don't get hung up on how your "supposed" to feel. No one gets to decide what you feel. Not you and especially not other people. But do what you can to get your dipshit coworkers in trouble. What they did isn't acceptable. Least of all in a professional environment.
 
hjort

hjort

Member
Nov 9, 2017
4,096
Tons of people have learning disabilities, and it doesn't define who they are. They're still 'normal' people, as are you. I understand that this knowledge makes you see yourself in a different light right now, but in reality nothing has changed. You're still the same person you ever was, and there's nothing wrong with you.

There is, however, something wrong with your co-workers. What a useless bunch of cockwombles. Report them and/or "accidentally" spill boiling coffee over their crotches.
 
Raguel

Raguel

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
2,275
Report your shit heel coworkers. Fucking garbage people.

Regarding your diagnosis, you've done great so far so don't let it bother you. You're stronger than you think you are.
 
Baccus

Baccus

Banned
Dec 4, 2018
5,307
A few weeks ago I learned that I have Histrionic Disorder. Changed my life.

Feel a little bad, but a little liberated too. It's gonna be ok.
 
Fuchsia

Fuchsia

Member
Oct 28, 2017
6,653
So sorry about your coworkers, OP. Lots of people have learning disorders. It's nothing at all to be ashamed of.
 
Lant_War

Lant_War

Classic Anus Game
The Fallen
Jul 14, 2018
23,594
Don't let what your co-workers said get to you OP. It's who you are and you shouldn't be ashamed of it.
 
Aaronrules380

Aaronrules380

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
22,484
I was once diagnosed with Nonverbal learning disability when I was a kid, and while that diagnosis was later revised to Asperger's Syndrome, it bares mentioning that I was probably academically superior to the majority of my peers in school. Learning disabilities don't mean you're dumb, they just mean that certain things might come harder to you, especially if they're not delivered in a manner that takes the disability into consideration. Also you're coworkers sound like complete assholes and you shouldn't pay any mind to them
 
Gray clouds

Gray clouds

Member
Nov 7, 2017
465
Sometimes Era feels like the only place that actually sympathizes and/or empathizes with disabilities. People can't help but insult or make light of someone's struggles.

I'm sorry that the discovery has been painful.

When you're ready, try and think about things differently: Now you know more about yourself. I hope the challenges you've been facing will be easier to deal with going forward.

And I hope you'll regain your confidence. You didn't do anything wrong.
 
Biske

Biske

Member
Nov 11, 2017
8,276
You know I'm sure if we all got tested for such things most of us would have something.
Dont sweat it OP your coworkers are dicks. Fuck em
 
Aaronrules380

Aaronrules380

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
22,484
Travo said:
Umm, I think I would go to a doctor for a proper diagnosis before jumping the gun.
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Yeah if it wasn't a proper diagnosis this is good advice. Self diagnosis of any kind is incredibly unreliable, and even doctors can disagree when it comes to these types of conditions (see my previous statement about my own diagnosis being revised when I was young)
 
Speevy

Speevy

Member
Oct 26, 2017
19,357
I teach students with learning disabilities. If you give them a chance, you'll often find they're among the smartest kids in your class. They just have different strengths and different weaknesses.
 
Anubis

Anubis

User requested permanent ban
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
10,392
I'd immediately go to HR after they called u that.

Grounds for a firing imo.
 
Aaronrules380

Aaronrules380

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
22,484
I also want to add that even for people who do have low iqs, there's nothing wrong with being a bit slower than other people. The true idiots aren't the people who struggle to learn, they're the people who can learn easily but refuse to. I have way more respect for someone who keeps trying at things that don't come naturally to them than for people who are far more capable but refuse to even try
 
kmfdmpig

kmfdmpig

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
19,380
You and your coworkers, I assume, have the same position.
You got there overcoming challenges that they didn't have to.
Why they would look down on you for this is beyond me.
 

BuckRogers

Member
Apr 5, 2018
774
IceDoesntHelp said:
And I'm not sure how to feel.
I always felt I was normal, besides my social skills, but it explains alot about myself.
I didn't get told what I have but it effects my writing ability (on expressing my thoughts) and social skills.

I've been feeling differently about myself now and I'm not sure how I'm suppose to feel. I told co workers and they just called me the 'R' word and laughed. I just feel like I hate who I am even more, feel lost and I've lost faith in myself even more.

I'm at a loss.
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If it's any help, I also have a learning disability. I was diagnosed as a child, and my parents did a lot of early intervention to help me out. As a consequence, it never really hurt me in school, and I didn't find out until I started asking questions about tests I was given when I was a child. They ended up giving me all of the results, which told me all sorts of stuff I don't remember about my childhood (not bad, just forgotten) along with my IQ and diagnosis. It was a very weird few days.

It screwed me up for a while, and it still does sometimes. I have kids now and I worry about what I've passed on to them. It comes up in therapy sometimes. I generally take solace in the idea that everyone has flaws, one of mine just happens to have a name and diagnosis attached to it. In the end, it doesn't change the person I've become as an adult.

Sorry about your coworkers, though. They absolutely suck.
 
chronos4590

chronos4590

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,358
OP I would also contact HR honestly, that's work place harassment and shouldn't be taken lightly.
It might all feel like a shock but it'll pass.

And you are as normal as you've ever been. You are you, and many other people have learning disabilities. I read an article for school recently about transition and employment for people with disabilities, this one quote really stuck with me.I hope it'll help bring a different perspective.

A Disability
Is NOT a problem that resides within an individual, but that disability is manifested as a state of functioning that exists within the fit, or lack thereof, between a person's capacities and the context in which the person functions.
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They also mention that "understanding disability as a problem that resides within a person is a bankrupt model"
I hope any of those quotes can help. if you want me to share the information with you id be happy to PM you the article.
You're fine OP, call out those shit head coworkers call HR. You're alright!
 
Officer Big Mac

Officer Big Mac

Member
Oct 28, 2017
22,596
I'd never disclose health issues with anyone at work that you dont report to. Theres no reason for them to know such personal details. It's a difficult decision to disclose disability to your boss/HR even when such disabilities are protected under the law.
 
Wrellie

Wrellie

Member
Oct 29, 2017
698
IceDoesntHelp said:
Psychology test from a few years back that I just found out the results from because my parents hid it from me.
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I teach Psychological Tests & Measurements, and the first thing I would want to know if I were you is what test was administered, who conducted the test, and were they familiar with the reliability and validity of the test. If it bothers you a lot, go see one on your own who specializes in these things. It is unfortunate, but there are a lot of psychologists who are not well-trained in reliability / validity and make poor assessments of their patients. I am not a clinical psychologist, but the good news is it looks like you have people here on ResetEra to help you out with support.
 
DonMigs85

DonMigs85

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
2,770
Look into getting into the trades like being a plumber or electrician - good money there and no need for a degree
 
Composer

Composer

Banned
Nov 14, 2017
176
Can you say what the exact learning disability is? I am curious and it sounds very similar to how a good friend of mine voices concerns about.
 
Lucreto

Lucreto

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,646
When I was a kid I was tested and I was told there couldn't see anything wrong. But I feel there is something. I struggled all through school and college. I have to put lots of extra effort to get the bare minimum results.

In school we were given 10 minutes to learn the first two stanzas of a poem. Most others accomplished it but I barely remembered the second line and was accused of not doing the work. We had to learn off the poem that night. I spent 4 hours I got it or at least I thought I did. Next day it was my turn and my mind went blank and couldn't remember it in full.

The other are written word math questions. It I was driven a sum I can do it but the ones like "Train A is coming down the track at 20mph and Train B is coming down the track at 45mph" I couldn't do them in school and still can't to this day. My mind goes blank every time.

Exams have always been my worst enemy, if you asked me "what is the worst thing you have to do that even thinking about nearly puts you in a state of depression?" Exams would be that for me.

I am thinking of getting myself retested to see if I do have a learning difficulty. It would for me be a vindication that I do put in extra effort to learn and I am not as dumb as a post. But I fear they won't find anything and I really am dumb as a post or my wanting it to be a LD messes with the result prevents me from doing so.
 
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