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My GF is mad at me for being scared of Covid.

ExhaustedWalrus

ExhaustedWalrus

Member
Oct 28, 2017
5,882
Today is a beautiful day, and I want to spend it outside, but my girlfriend wants to go shopping, out to eat, and go to a park. But I just don't feel it's safe. I live in a very bad area in terms of covid, and while I get the impulse to go out and act normal, I just can't do it. I told her this and she said I can't live in fear and to just wear a mask everywhere. But I've been out to get groceries and NO ONE is wearing a mask. I feel like people look at me like I'm a freak because I'm the only one. I don't want this to get heated but it's just not smart. My dad has diabetes, and I do not want to risk it.
 
fracas

fracas

Member
Oct 27, 2017
4,684
That's pretty dumb of your GF to get mad at you for being nervous about a deadly disease, especially considering you have at-risk family.

Despite the "everything is fine" narrative coming from the White House, a lot of states are seeing a spike in cases.
 
III-V

III-V

Member
Oct 25, 2017
18,827
I am social distancing but when I have to go out I see many many people Not wearing masks or social distancing. And my area has had a steady percentage growth increase everyday for the last 2 weeks. People are not realizing that this pandemic is not over, regardless of what politicians want you to believe.
 
atomsk

atomsk

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,492
I've had to move in with my dad since he's super high risk and can't do much of anything.

My friends are getting to the point of "hey let's hang out again it's cool"

Nah.

Not worth the risk.
 
Ultima_5

Ultima_5

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,680
It's weird how everything's returning to normal yet cases are spiking here. Got groceries the other day and literally no ones wearing a mask anymore
 

Deleted member 5086

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
4,571
You're doing the right thing. Your girlfriend should be more understanding, especially giving you have at-risk family members. I'd be really put off if my partner said the same to me.
 
KatieKatsup

KatieKatsup

Prophet of Regret
Member
Oct 27, 2017
964
I feel you OP. My partner and I are still practicing social distancing, but one side of our family views us as overreacting. It sucks, but good on you for trying to keep yourself, you dad and others safe. You're 100% not crazy.

Has your girlfriend seen the data showing the rise in cases nationally recently? Although it seems hard data itself is meaningless to some.
 
tellNoel

tellNoel

Member
Oct 26, 2017
10,257
Does she know how many people have died from covid-19? You should go over the numbers with her
 
DasFool

DasFool

Member
Oct 25, 2017
213
Show your girlfriend this picture of an emaciated, malformed lung that collapsed due to COVID. Happen to a young, healthy woman in her 20s.

zQJstmq.jpg
 
JigglesBunny

JigglesBunny

Prophet of Truth
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
31,240
Chicago
The government chose to promote the idea that business was more important than safety and people took that as a sign that this is all over. Those people, one of whom seems to be your girlfriend, are damn fools.

Stay safe. Don't risk your health over her insecurity.
 
yogurt

yogurt

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,018
Go to a park? Great idea.
Go shopping? Probably fine if you're safe about it.
Go out to eat? Err....

Is there a middle ground you two can settle on?
 
EJS

EJS

The Fallen
The Fallen
Oct 31, 2017
9,199
If you don't feel comfortable, don't go. Is she legitimately 'mad' or is she just tired of the situation herself? She probably isn't mad at you, rather the situation as a whole.
 
Joni

Joni

Member
Oct 27, 2017
19,508
What have you two been doing together the last couple of months? Is this something where she is frustrated because of the limited things you have been doing together?
 
Smokeymicpot

Smokeymicpot

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,855
Meet in the middle go to a park. What are you gonna wait for? Can't just sit inside till all this is over.
 
sirap

sirap

Member
Oct 25, 2017
8,232
South East Asia
I'm sorry OP, but your girlfriend sounds like an asshole.

I have a diabetic dad too and I'm just as terrified as you are. Stay safe, don't risk it.
 
EJS

EJS

The Fallen
The Fallen
Oct 31, 2017
9,199
As others suggested, get takeout and eat in the park. Great compromise.
 
sir_crocodile

sir_crocodile

Member
Oct 25, 2017
23,564
I have at risk family too.

On the very few occasions I've ventured out (been getting food delivered) I've worn gloves and a mask. And then when I get back I throw all my clothes into a bag, wash up and put on new clothes just in case.
 
Antrax

Antrax

Member
Oct 25, 2017
13,333
No offense but she sounds .... not bright

There's a pandemic, you have immunocompromised relatives, and there's a pandemic
 
Wackamole

Wackamole

Member
Oct 27, 2017
16,968
User banned (2 weeks): sexist rhetoric
A lot of girlfriends are for some reason (that i know). I think they just don't want Covid to be a thing.
But it is..............
 
ConHaki66

ConHaki66

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,971
Not worth being around if she isn't taking your concerns seriously, especially with your dads health
 
Wackamole

Wackamole

Member
Oct 27, 2017
16,968
Nintai said:
Only girlfriends, huh?
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Yeah it's kind of weird. Of the couples i know, the men take it a bit more seriously than the women. I have no idea why other than that i guess they are more extraverted and need human contact more. I feel i need to state this again to you: OF THE PEOPLE I KNOW.
Friends complain to me about it.🤷🏽‍♂️ And i hear the girlfriends complain about the guys. That they're so paranoid, haha.
Even my mom takes it less serious than my dad.

Ofcourse none of us want Covid to be a thing,
If that is what you were after.
 
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sugarmonkey

sugarmonkey

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
515
No one is going to care about your health and your immediate family's health more than you, so it's up to you to do what you feel is necessary to protect you and them.

Not everyone gets the severity of what's going on if they aren't personally connected to someone who has life threatening complications from Covid or has lost a friend or loved one. I don't think this makes anyone insensitive, or stupid, as it may be a way to cope (or they can't deal with reality right now and need a distraction).

I have multiple myeloma that is being suppressed thankfully due to new medication, but I'm pretty fucking terrified. My wife is very understanding and compassionate but even she has had her moments and I've had to put my foot down. And we have kids so going out with them is even more complicated. I was pretty mad anytime she brought up wanting to go out to shop for fun until I realized this:

If the only way I could enjoy my hobby was to go to an arcade and I've been stuck at home for 3 months, I'm pretty sure I'd be pretty restless, cancer or no. It just so happens I'm an introvert and my hobby goes hand in hand with staying inside.

TLDR: You are the final word on your health, but your girlfriend isn't a bad person for wanting to be out. BUT, if she just won't get it, maybe you deserve better (as in of course you are worth it, but maybe you need someone more on your level).
 
DarkChronic

DarkChronic

Member
Oct 27, 2017
5,053
I get it. I often times feel like the "crazy" one in my family. Thankfully my girlfriend has been very supportive, but my brother is quickly becoming one of the "I'm bored of it so I'm over it" people. To a much lesser extent so are my parents - they have been fairly good this quarantine but you are starting to see the cracks. When I remind them to keep socially distancing and wear masks I kind of get the side eye a bit.
 
jph139

jph139

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
14,445
Yeah, I've been dating a girl recently who is just really eager to get out there. "We're gonna have to sooner or later" sort of logic. And I'm fine with it, because it's mostly outdoors stuff - walking trails, the beach, that sort of thing - but I'm not quite eager to throw parties and go out to restaurants and all.

Thankfully though, my state (MA) seems to be taking it pretty seriously still. Whenever I'm out I see a majority of people with masks. Our cases are trending down. My sister is going to a vigil today and they're requiring masks and 6+ feet between people. But we are opening up, and I'm nervous about how long that's going to last.
 
Sunster

Sunster

The Fallen
Oct 5, 2018
10,061
TearablePuns said:
Does she know how many people have died from covid-19? You should go over the numbers with her
Click to expand...
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In my experience this isn't going to help. girlfriends don't want their s/o to bring out the charts and data to argue with them. you gotta make her understand where you're coming from on a more personal level. like your dad's condition. you're not willing to risk it. simple as that.

edit: quoted the wrong post
 
Last edited:
TaterTots

TaterTots

Member
Oct 27, 2017
12,990
I don't know. I'm sure you can stay 6 ft away from people at a park. You kind of have to shop anyway. It's the sit down at a restaurant I'd say no to. See if she can compromise. As others have suggested, see if she is willing to do pickup and eat at the park.

Also, who gives a shit if people look at you for wearing a mask? I've been hearing people say they are getting embarrassed about wearing a mask and I just don't get it. Maybe its a young thing.
 
WedgeX

WedgeX

Member
Oct 27, 2017
13,271
The CDC finally released its 'going out' guidance, so it's worth a read.

www.cdc.gov

Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19)

Coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) is a virus (more specifically, a coronavirus) identified as the cause of an outbreak of respiratory illness first detected in Wuhan, China.
www.cdc.gov www.cdc.gov

There is a ton of guidance, so I'll just post the relevant pieces.



  • Can you keep 6 feet of spacebetween you and others? Will you be outdoors or indoors?
    • The closer you are to other people who may be infected, the greater your risk of getting sick.
    • Keeping distance from other people is especially important for people who are at higher risk for severe illness, such as older adults and those with underlying medical conditions.
    • Indoor spaces are more risky than outdoor spaces where it might be harder to keep people apart and there's less ventilation.
  • What's the length of time that you will be interacting with people?
    • Spending more time with people who may be infected increases your risk of becoming infected.
    • Spending more time with people increases their risk of becoming infected if there is any chance that you may already be infected.
Click to expand...
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Restaurants:

Dining at a Restaurant
  • Check the restaurant's website and social media to see if they have updated their information to address any COVID-19 safety guidelines.
  • Before you go to the restaurant, call and ask if all staff are wearing cloth face coverings while at work.
  • Wear cloth face coverings when less than 6 feet apart from other people or indoors.
  • Take precautions – like wearing a cloth face covering as much as possible when not eating and maintaining a proper social distance if you are dining with others who don't live with you.
  • Ask about options for self-parking to remove the need for a valet service.
  • Maintain a social distance of 6 feet or more in any entryway, hallway, or waiting area.
  • Wash your hands for at least 20 seconds when entering and exiting the restaurant. If soap and water are not readily available, use a hand sanitizer that contains at least 60% alcohol. Cover all surfaces of your hands and rub them together until they feel dry.
  • When possible, sit outside at tables spaced at least 6 feet apart from other people.
  • When possible, choose food and drink options that are not self-serve to limit the use of shared serving utensils, handles, buttons, or touchscreens.
  • Before using the restroom, make sure there is adequate soap and paper towels or hand sanitizer containing at least 60% alcohol.
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Parks:

www.cdc.gov

Going to a park or recreation facility?

Help slow the spread of COVID-19 by staying at least 6 feet (2 meters) from other people and wearing a cloth face covering to help protect others. Do not gather in groups, even when outdoors. Learn mo
www.cdc.gov www.cdc.gov


DO
check icoVisit parks that are close to your home.
check icon Check with the park or recreation area in advance to prepare safely and to find out if the bathroom facilities are open and what services are available.
check icon Stay at least 6 feet away from others you don't live with ("social distancing") and take other steps to prevent COVID-19.
check icon Carefully consider use of playgrounds, and help children follow guidelines.
check icon Play it safe around and in swimming pools, hot tubs, and water playgrounds by keeping space between yourself and others.

DON'T
times icon Visit parks if you are sick with, tested positive for COVID-19, or know you were recently exposed to COVID-19.
times icon Visit crowded parks.
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Shopping generally:

www.cdc.gov

COVID-19 and Your Health

Symptoms, testing, what to do if sick, daily activities, and more.
www.cdc.gov www.cdc.gov

Order online or use curbside pickup

  • Order food and other items online for home delivery or curbside pickup (if possible).
  • Only visit the grocery store, or other stores selling household essentials, in person when you absolutely need to. This will limit your potential exposure to others and the virus that causes COVID-19.


Protect yourself while shopping

  • Stay at least 6 feet away from others while shopping and in lines.
  • Cover your mouth and nose with a cloth face covering when you have to go out in public.
  • When you do have to visit in person, go during hours when fewer people will be there (for example, early morning or late night).
  • If you are at higher risk for severe illness, find out if the store has special hours for people at higher risk. If they do, try to shop during those hours. People at higher risk for severe illness include adults 65 or older and people of any age who have serious underlying medical conditions.
  • Disinfect the shopping cart, use disinfecting wipes if available.
  • Do not touch your eyes, nose, or mouth.
  • If possible, use touchless payment (pay without touching money, a card, or a keypad). If you must handle money, a card, or use a keypad, use hand sanitizer right after paying.


Use hand sanitizer

  • After leaving the store, use hand sanitizer.


Wash hands at home

  • When you get home, wash your hands with soap and water for at least 20 seconds.
  • Follow food safety guidelines: clean, separate, cook, chill. There is no evidence that food or food packaging play a significant role in spreading the virus in the United States.
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Evildeadhead

Evildeadhead

Member
Oct 26, 2017
2,691
If she's fine with you catching it and rolling the dice on your dad's life I'd get rid. There are only going to be more issues down the road.
 
Chrome Hyena

Chrome Hyena

Member
Oct 30, 2017
8,779
Better to be safe than sorry OP. Also I wear a mask everywhere! And I social distance. I still won't sit in a restaurant and I keep it moving on stores. I won't be sitting places or in huge groups until I have a vaccine.
 

Deleted member 49482

User requested account closure
Banned
Nov 8, 2018
3,302
Here's the thing that I don't think a lot of these "you can't live in fear" people don't understand: it's not just about you or me.

Sure, I personally don't want to contract Covid-19, but if I do, it probably won't be a big deal. I'm younger, with no preexisting conditions, have good health insurance, and have a good job that is doing work from home with tons of paid sick leave. I'm privileged in the respect that Covid-19 would likely have very little impact on me personally, if I were to look at it from a self-centered standpoint.

What I don't want to do is be a disease vector for others that:
1) Have a greater chance of dying.
2) Are unemployed without health insurance.
3) Have to choose between going to work sick and not making their bills/feeding their children.
4) Have to treat the waves of sick and dying that have been and will end in our hospitals.
5) Etc.

There are plenty of things I can do to get outside the house and enjoy life that still mitigate against contracting and spreading the virus.
 
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