• Light/Dark

My girlfriend broke off a 6 year long relationship... I am very mentally ill and not sure how I can handle it.

Status
Not open for further replies.
808s & Villainy

808s & Villainy

Member
Oct 27, 2017
43,104
OP
OP
Djkhaled

Djkhaled

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
557
I love how this has randomly turned into accusing me of being with an under-age girl or age inappropriate relationship. Just because people can't read/do maths.

She was 16 when we got together, I was 19. She's now 22 and I just turned 26. We have a 3.5year age difference.
 
vectorj

vectorj

Member
Oct 30, 2017
1,013
People can get tired of each other.

I'm not sure if there's any other struggle or anguish in her own personal life, but it happens. It sounds like your girlfriend reached some limit on her own part and needed to leave. Which is probably why she acted and behaved the way she did when y'all had your last discussion.

It may be hard to not take it personally. But nobody is a saint. Not everybody can be an unfaltering pillar all the time. It's doubly difficult when they have their own problems chipping away at them too.

Given that she has told you she's gay, that is also something she's probably going through. You both look like you're going through a confusing time, for a multitude of reasons.
 
Septy

Septy

Prophet of Truth
Member
Nov 29, 2017
4,097
United States
Djkhaled said:
I love how this has randomly turned into accusing me of being with an under-age girl or age inappropriate relationship. Just because people can't read/do maths.

She was 16 when we got together, I was 19. She's now 22 and I just turned 26. We have a 3.5year age difference.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Dude what. She was 16? Not even a junior in Highschool. You're that guy in college that likes to date highschool girls and no one wants to know that guy.
 
OP
OP
Djkhaled

Djkhaled

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
557
808s & Villainy said:
Well I guess I just now learned we have profiles


But that is you being with an underage girl, at least at the time. Not that it's really relevant to the thread
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Except 16 isn't under-age. Not everyone lives in America. Though I know that's a hard concept for americans to grasp. And also i was in high school with her at the time.
Septy said:
Dude what. She was 16? Not even a junior in Highschool. You're that guy in college that likes to date highschool girls and no one wants to know that guy.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Except we don't have "juniors", I don't even know what that is, people start high school at 12/13 where I am and finish 18/19. We were in high school together. I was just finishing when we got together.
 

Deleted member 36578

Dec 21, 2017
26,561
Djkhaled said:
Well here's the thing, she has lived with me for 6 years, never paid rent, internet, anything like that, it was all paid for by me. She has no where to go, so even though she dumped me yesterday, due to my fear of abandonment I asked her to continue living with me, she still is texting me love you when she went to work this morning, still sleeping in my bed, giving me hugs and kisses, I am still paying rent.... but we are broken up.... I feel like she is using me but I am so afraid of being alone that I don't want to say anything to her. I didn't include this in the OP because it makes me look way more pathetic and like a push over
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
You also mentioned you're unemployed correct?So if they aren't supporting you, who is setting the rules of wherever you're living? It is someone that can kick them out for you? You really shouldn't be dealing with any of this for your own sanity. It honestly seems like you've been taken advantage of for a long while.
 
OP
OP
Djkhaled

Djkhaled

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
557
Gouty said:
Id have done time for messing with 16 year old girls when I was 19.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Lucky we don't all live in the land of the free and can realise it's not all black and white. 🙄 Not only that but absolutely no laws were broken.
brokeastronaut said:
You also mentioned you're unemployed correct?So if they aren't supporting you, who is setting the rules of wherever you're living? It is someone that can kick them out for you? You really shouldn't be dealing with any of this for your own sanity. It honestly seems like you've been taken advantage of for a long while.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
It's my name on the lease and I pay everything. I can kick her out. Just too scared to.
 
Antrax

Antrax

Member
Oct 25, 2017
13,435
1) You mention partying in your past. Don't go back to that or you'll end up needing another support thread in a few months, but for a drinking problem.
2) Probably kick her out. It's rough af, but I genuinely do not see how that can be good for you.
 

Deleted member 36578

Dec 21, 2017
26,561
Djkhaled said:
Lucky we don't all live in the land of the free and can realise it's not all black and white. 🙄

It's my name on the lease and I pay everything. I can kick her out. Just too scared to.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

I truly hope you find the strength to do so. The stress they're putting you through isn't worth this. There are other people who you can meet and form bonds with. Just because you've known this one for so long and got used to this one person doesn't mean they're the only soul that exists or can give you what you need. People change over time and you two aren't compatible in the way you may have been in the beginning. Good luck and just realize many, many of us go through this. You aren't alone.
 
OP
OP
Djkhaled

Djkhaled

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
557
Septy said:
What country do you live in?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Australia. Why is this such a big deal to you? It has nothing to do with the thread, troll outside mental health threads. Take your puritanical american shit elsewhere. Literally no one found it weird. Either from her family, mine, friends or people she worked with. No one cared because it's not strange where I'm from.
 
OP
OP
Djkhaled

Djkhaled

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
557
Cool well since in accused of being in an inappropriate relationship when I wasn't. May as well leave the trolls for now and go see my psych (who also didn't find the age gap weird)
 
Septy

Septy

Prophet of Truth
Member
Nov 29, 2017
4,097
United States
Djkhaled said:
Australia. Why is this such a big deal to you? It has nothing to do with the thread, troll outside mental health threads. Take your puritanical american shit elsewhere. Literally no one found it weird. Either from her family, mine, friends or people she worked with. No one cared because it's not strange where I'm from.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I looked up Romeo and Juliet laws in AU and it looks like the max is 2 year difference. Also
A person who has sex with a child aged under 17 is guilty of an offence publishable by a maximum of 10 years (Section 49(2)). However, it is a defence to this charge if

  1. The young person was aged 16 or over; and
  2. The accused is aged under 17; or
  3. The accused believed on reasonable ground that the young person was aged 17 or older. (Section 39(3))
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

 
OP
OP
Djkhaled

Djkhaled

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
557
Septy said:
I looked up Romeo and Juliet laws in AU and it looks like the max is 2 year difference. Also

Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I don't think you know what Romeo and Juliet laws are. Age of consent is 16. It's only under that, that Romeo and Juliet laws even apply. If you're over 16 you can sleep with anyone above 16 as long as they aren't a police or teacher. Not only that. But I'm not from South Australia. It even literally says in your link that South Australia is the exception and not the rule. But you used that link because it fit your narrative.

Try better next time troll.

 
OP
OP
Djkhaled

Djkhaled

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
557
Imagine comjng to a mental health to troll and spread misinformation and puritanical shit that is completely off topic and irrelevant and also false. That's some next level cuntery.
 
Kotto

Kotto

CEO of Traphouse Networks
Member
Nov 3, 2017
4,466
Septy said:
What country do you live in?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
If you're just going to keep nagging her about who she decided to be with, just put the thread on ignore. She already is dealing with enough as is and she doesn't need the investigation on her life.

I would like to add my 2 cents, but all the advice has been said. Your therapist will help and the pain is always going to be there right now, but it will go away as you take it one day at a time. I would definitely look into what to do with her there. That is not healthy.
 
Septy

Septy

Prophet of Truth
Member
Nov 29, 2017
4,097
United States
Djkhaled said:
I don't think you know what Romeo and Juliet laws are. Age of consent is 16. It's only under that, that Romeo and Juliet laws even apply. If you're over 16 you can sleep with anyone above 16 as long as they aren't a police or teacher. Not only that. But I'm not from South Australia. It even literally says in your link that South Australia is the exception and not the rule. But you used that link because it fit your narrative.

Try better next time troll.

Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Read it again.
While the age of consent is 16 in the majority of jurisdictions, it is 17 in South Australia and Tasmania. This applies to penetrative sexual intercourse, both heterosexual and homosexual, and to sexual acts that fall short of penetration.

In South Australia, this defence is limited to the situation where both the 'victim' and the 'offender' are aged 16. In most other states an age difference of up to two years is allowed under Romeo and Juliette laws; in South Australia there is no such loophole. In this respect, the age of consent laws in South Australia are more stringent than in the rest of the country.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

I'm not trolling
 
OP
OP
Djkhaled

Djkhaled

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
557
Septy said:
Read it again.


I'm not trolling
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
You are trolling, I am not from South Australia or Tasmania so everything you've linked doesn't apply to me.

I mean just read the wikipedia article, you are wrong and you're trying to troll. You are choosing two states out of many to prove a point and I don't live in either of those.


In NSW the limited age of consent (meaning no teachers or cops) is 16, she was legal.
 
Samanosuke Akechi

Samanosuke Akechi

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
8,071
2001
Seems they were pretty young. I was 25 when I married my first wife, she was 22. Of course, it didn't work out.

Teenage relationships rarely lasts. This is a good learning phase for OP. Time to grow and reflect on yourself and what you want in the future.

It might hurt now but it does get better.
 
OP
OP
Djkhaled

Djkhaled

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
557
Septy said:
Read it again.


I'm not trolling
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Before quoting that, did you read it yourself? you've made a fool of yourself and basically told me I was a sexual predator in a thread where I am having a mental health crisis, when I literally broke no laws and linked you proof of that.
 
JaseC64

JaseC64

Enlightened
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
11,008
Strong Island NY
OP, you had a GF with all your hardships and you go and chat with another girl on Tinder.

Jesus man. Like you should have played it super safe no matter what. You Fd up.
 
jb1234

jb1234

Very low key
Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,272
This thread is just reinforcing that this is not a safe board for people struggling with their mental health. Get off here immediately, OP and take care of yourself.
 
ty_hot

ty_hot

Banned
Dec 14, 2017
7,176
I like to cook while listening to podcast or youtube videos. Try to find something that makes you relax and forget about the problems for a little while.

Exercising helps put the stress and negativity out of your body but I also know that itnis hard to force yourself into doing it most of the time lol. But hey, you can try, even at home turn on some good music, lay down and work your legs a bit. Do it for your mental health, bot your physical.

And well, every relationship teaches us things, you may feel bad now but in the long term it will help you grow and be a better person. Dont worry about how she looks or doesnt look after the break up, a break up is always a break up, some people show their emotions more than others but all of them go through the same process.

And keep seeing your therapist, you will be fine!
 
OP
OP
Djkhaled

Djkhaled

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
557
Alwayscrazybacon said:
$2K a month and you use that to pay for your girlfriends lifestyle? Something isn't right here.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

I'm a sucker and I have no money for myself

jb1234 said:
This thread is just reinforcing that this is not a safe board for people struggling with their mental health. Get off here immediately, OP and take care of yourself.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Yeah, some people are being really mean, I mean shit, this got derailed into a random ass topic on whether something in my country was legal... then I have people rubbing it in that I fucked up when I've admitted that already.. I dont get it. Ill take a break now.
 
Nothing Loud

Nothing Loud

Literally Cinderella
Member
Oct 25, 2017
10,048
Djkhaled said:
I proposed like 4 years in, but I mean, she was 16 when we got together and I was 19, she said yes to the proposal but she was too young, then like 6 months later she decided she didn't believe in marriage and didn't want kids, then she started questioning her sexuality and yeah... things went downhill from there. I fucking hate how this went down and people seeing my post history is now going to make people think I was an evil person, but shit, i made a mistake, but its not a black and white situation.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Don't worry OP. This site craves thread backfires and controversy and they're looking for it here. There's also massive ignorance in this thread about BPD and how hard it makes it to think rationally and feel hopeful about human relationships.

Let me make this apparent for others: this is not a good website to post in when your mental health is bad. People are looking for opportunities to embarrass an OP.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Trust me, it can get better, and you don't need her to get better. Focus on your therapy, your health, your healing for a while. I can't imagine how bad the rejection must hurt for someone with BPD, but try to occupy your mind with healthy distractions like cooking, exercising, and spending time in meditation or nature while you heal. And please keep seeing your psych
 
Umbrella Carp

Umbrella Carp

Banned
Jan 16, 2019
3,265
I think you and your now ex didn't communicate this "open relationship" stuff to each other too well. You probably should have sought clarification before delving into Tinder.
 
JayC3

JayC3

bork bork
Administrator
Oct 25, 2017
3,861
At this point, given the circular nature of the thread and the OP taking a break, the thread has been locked.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.