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Vern

Banned
Oct 26, 2017
5,097
I think falling in love is too easy. Maybe not deep love but I get enamored with girls all the time, date them, have a great relationship, and then find something new. There are so many amazing humans out there, beautiful and smart women, that it's hard to choose one and say she's the best thing ever and meant just for me. Sometimes i wish I could find one that stands head and shoulders above the rest, but hasn't been the case yet.
 

DrROBschiz

Member
Oct 25, 2017
16,514
Love is inherently irrational

So its equally possible that you will or will not find a soul mate

There are too many variables and factors involved to the point that anyone trying to tell you one way of another is full of shit

It would be equally true to say falling in love and staying in love can all be attribute to dumb luck and chance

You are better off asking advice for how to maintain a healthy relationship after you have attained one
 

Galkinator

Chicken Chaser
Member
Oct 27, 2017
9,010
I'd say most people never been truly in love, what they felt was just passion combined with getting used to their partner.
I've been in a relationship of 3.5 years up until few years ago, and the breakup was brutal.
Since then I never felt anything for anyone, maybe it's some sort of a defense mechanism but I don't feel like I can fall for anyone again in a real way ever again.
 

Raptomex

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,249
It's different for everybody. I have no idea how common or uncommon it is. I can guarantee you I'll never fall in love at first sight, though. I may find a woman attractive at first sight but that's not love. For all I know she could be a terrible person. I would need to get to know her first. Furthermore, I too analyze the women I date. But I think that's just a part of dating. Reliability is definitely high on my list of must-have qualities. I get annoyed with people who are unreliable. Ultimately, I don't like dating but you kind of need to do it to be with someone you truly care for.
 
Oct 25, 2017
5,159
China
Ow_the_edge.jpg


You are approaching the incel event horizon here man.

This topic is an incel homing beacon, come on in guys.
 

Powdered Egg

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
17,070
The first time I saw my wife I noticed her looks and her tongue ring and thought "this girl is probably freaky". That' my love at first sight story.
Load of shit? Coming from someone who believes in a soulmate? I don't think you're in a spot to be ridiculing others so harshly.

It's all chemicals, man. Love is a word to describe an instinctual attachment and emotional bond, and it's fine to romanticize it as much as you want, but don't mock others while making audacious claims about the soul.
Batman has no chill lol!
 
Oct 27, 2017
6,411
Load of shit? Coming from someone who believes in a soulmate? I don't think you're in a spot to be ridiculing others so harshly.

It's all chemicals, man. Love is a word to describe an instinctual attachment and emotional bond, and it's fine to romanticize it as much as you want, but don't mock others while making audacious claims about the soul.

Good lord this is such a sad post. Like, seriously. I feel bad for some of the people in this thread.
 

DrROBschiz

Member
Oct 25, 2017
16,514
I'd say most people never been truly in love, what they felt was just passion combined with getting used to their partner.
I've been in a relationship of 3.5 years up until few years ago, and the breakup was brutal.
Since then I never felt anything for anyone, maybe it's some sort of a defense mechanism but I don't feel like I can fall for anyone again in a real way ever again.

Yeah I would argue that true love is incredibly rare but does exist and even then people truly in love still have to work on maintaining a healthy relationship

In response to the original question

Relationships are incredibly common since we actively seek them out whether they are based on love or not

Love... as in what many of us think actual love is (which can vary wildly based on your perspective) is rare
 

Pagusas

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,876
Frisco, Tx
I see in this thread a ton of people saying never, when it really seems more like "Its not happened to me yet, so thus it will never happen".

Love is a thing, when you experience it you'll know it, and when you've never experienced it I can imagine the thought of its is as foreign as taking up religion for some people. Love at first sight is a thing, call it chemistry or whatever you want, when (if) it happens to you, you'll be awe struck and have no clue why or how your mind and body are reacting in such a way. Thats kinda the point and amazing aspect of love, its unexplainable and not something any of us can tell you "this is what it feels like". You'll get it when it happens to you. Then you'll be a believer and look back at some of these comments and shake your head in amusement.
 

Deleted member 17092

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
20,360
I think some people just feel a sense of attachment more easily than others. I don't think love is a word that can't just be described with other words, in other words ;)
 

Nude_Tayne

Member
Jan 8, 2018
3,678
earth
No one above the age of 15 should believe in the concept of "love at first sight". Your idea of what love is has to be pretty warped and immature if you think that can develop between two people during the first moment they meet.
 

siddx

Banned
Dec 25, 2017
1,807
It's uncommon. Most people fall in love at some point. Those that don't tend to have a physical, emotional, or mental flaw that is preventing it. If that concerns you then go see a professional about it. If it doesn't then just keep on doing your thing.
 

Hirok2099

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
1,399
I don't believe in love at first sight because that seems to imply it's based solely on looks.

Lust at first sight? Totally.
Actually body language has a lot more to do with it. I don't remember where but I once read somewhere that 8 out of 10 times we accurately guess someone's personality within the first seconds of meeting them. Subconsciously humans are just that good at reading body language.
 

I Don't Like

Member
Dec 11, 2017
14,971
As someone who fell in love at first sight with my soulmate (literally, it hits you the first nano-second you see the person), this is a load of shit.

No, it isn't. You can't fall in love with someone you know nothing about. All you're "falling in love" with is their appearance. It's a nice thing to say about the person you end up with but it's horseshit. Same thing with "soulmate." It's confirmation bias, nothing more.
 

Raptomex

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,249
No, it wasn't lust at all and it had nothing to do with looks.

It's hard to explain, but it's nothing sexual at all.
It's hard to explain or it can't be explained? If you just look at a person you've never met and fall in love immediately, it's not unreasonable for an outsider to think it's based on looks. Nor is it unreasonable for many to feel that's exactly what it means. In fact, the phrase, itself, basically implies it.
at first sight
phrase of sight

  1. on first seeing or meeting someone.
    "it was love at first sight"
There's a difference between seeing and meeting.
 

Johnny Blaze

Avenger
Oct 29, 2017
4,231
DE
This forum will find any excuse to call something cringey or overrated. Holy fuck this is a sentence.
I am just one person tho, relax. I don't say it's cringey, I experienced it plenty of times, the good, the bad, the sleepless nights, but the concept of love is shoved down our throats in society, in media, everywhere like it's the ultimate be all end all of feelings, of course people who never experience it will feel they are missing out because it is advertised as "the best feeling ever".
 

Mr. X

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,495
This thread is mad cynical and I say this as someone with a pretty awful view on love. Yikes.
 
OP
OP

fireflame

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,275
It's uncommon. Most people fall in love at some point. Those that don't tend to have a physical, emotional, or mental flaw that is preventing it. If that concerns you then go see a professional about it. If it doesn't then just keep on doing your thing.
Is it a flaw or just a different way to be?
 
Oct 27, 2017
6,411
This forum will find any excuse to call something cringey or overrated. Holy fuck this is a sentence.

What do you expect when one of the most cynical people in this thread about love has straight up said "I've never been kissed or had romantic feelings"

A wwwhhhole lot of people in here trying to shoot down those who have found love just because they have yet to. It's so sad and I honestly feel bad for some of them.
 

Dark Knight

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
19,394
Nope, sorry. But this is still a load of shit.
How do you know the person you're falling in love with at first sight isn't a monster inside? You're "falling in love" with their appearance, unless you can prove otherwise. You keep saying people are full of shit but give zero evidence for your own outrageous claims.
 

Deleted member 17092

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
20,360
I kind of think the love at first sight people in here are being disingenuous about wanting to fuck someone and then being successful at developing an attachment to that person. Like I said, you can describe love without the word love.
 

CassCade

Banned
Nov 2, 2017
2,037
I'm 21 here and have never fallen in love or had a crush, I even constantly ask myself whether I care about people, family included, I just don't know, I don't really have any particular feelings when it comes to people.
 
Oct 27, 2017
6,411
How do you know the person you're falling in love with at first sight isn't a monster inside? You're "falling in love" with their appearance, unless you can prove otherwise. You keep saying people are full of shit but give zero evidence for your own outrageous claims.

My evidence is literally my 12 year incredible relationship, duh.

Where's your evidence that it can't happen? Because I've told you how it happened and you refuse to accept it because you've never ever experienced human intimacy.

Like dude, just accept it. There is zero reason to be this cynical about something you've never experienced, Hahahahaha
 
Oct 25, 2017
5,159
China
I think falling in love is too easy. Maybe not deep love but I get enamored with girls all the time, date them, have a great relationship, and then find something new. There are so many amazing humans out there, beautiful and smart women, that it's hard to choose one and say she's the best thing ever and meant just for me. Sometimes i wish I could find one that stands head and shoulders above the rest, but hasn't been the case yet.
I'm going out on a limb here and say that's because you have a paralysis of choice. Was the same for me, It'll come when you slow down.
 

Raptomex

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,249
What do you expect when one of the most cynical people in this thread about love has straight up said "I've never been kissed or had romantic feelings"

A wwwhhhole lot of people in here trying to shoot down those who have found love just because they have yet to. It's so sad and I honestly feel bad for some of them.
You responded to someone's personal feelings on the subject as being a "load of shit". I can't speak for other posters here but I'm glad you found someone. But just because it happened to you doesn't make it universal. Everybody is different.
 
OP
OP

fireflame

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,275
I'm 21 here and have never fallen in love or had a crush, I even constantly ask myself whether I care about people, family included, I just don't know, I don't really have any particular feelings when it comes to people.
I feel like this a lot except my family though I sometimes feel cold.
 
Oct 27, 2017
6,411
I kind of think the love at first sight people in here are being disingenuous about wanting to fuck someone and then being successful at developing an attachment to that person. Like I said, you can describe love without the word love.

Like I said before, it's nothing sexual. I did not even think about any sexual with her for months. Hell, my dingdong was straight up dead for those couple of months

It is hard to explain, but it literally has nothing to do with looks or sexuality.
 

Johnny Blaze

Avenger
Oct 29, 2017
4,231
DE
My evidence is literally my 12 year incredible relationship, duh.

Where's your evidence that it can't happen? Because I've told you how it happened and you refuse to accept it because you've never ever experienced human intimacy.

Like dude, just accept it. There is zero reason to be this cynical about something you've never experienced, Hahahahaha
Thats not a lot of evidence. How many times have you fallen in love? Maybe there is something better out there. A more incredible and bigger love? How do you know your love is the right love?
 

Dark Knight

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
19,394
My evidence is literally my 12 year incredible relationship, duh.

Where's your evidence that it can't happen? Because I've told you how it happened and you refuse to accept it because you've never ever experienced human intimacy.

Like dude, just accept it. There is zero reason to be this cynical about something you've never experienced, Hahahahaha
Lol good lord. Still no evidence provided but you seem insufferable either way, god help that girl. Also how are you making claims about my intimacy with anyone? Ive been in a loving relationship for 5 years atm.
 

Anteo

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,104
My evidence is literally my 12 year incredible relationship, duh.

Where's your evidence that it can't happen? Because I've told you how it happened and you refuse to accept it because you've never ever experienced human intimacy.

Like dude, just accept it. There is zero reason to be this cynical about something you've never experienced, Hahahahaha

Religious people say the same thing. I still laugh at them.

I dont doubt it worked out for you. I still think it was just luck. Kind of like when i went to college and i didnt know what to study and picked a random career and I happened to love it. It could have turned out different, in fact iy should have!
 

Kernel

Member
Oct 25, 2017
19,965
Falling in love is not infatuation.

Neither is limerance.

IMHO Real love pretty rare but a lot of people don't know when they see it.
 
Oct 27, 2017
5,898
Mount Airy, MD
I don't know if anyone has worthwhile statistics on 'how common' it is, but there's been a big social push to understand different types of sexuality and different ideas of love which might help you find something to relate to.

The truth is, everyone's got their own inner definition of what qualifies as love, AND what they want out of a relationship! It's all quite intersectional with the idea of sexual identity. It's not as simple as are you gay/bi/straight, are you also sexual/demisexual/asexual? romantic/aromantic? monogamous/polyamorous?
You don't have to magically know the answer, but basically whatever you think sounds like you, there's probably people out there who identify as like-minded.

Here's like a little telegraph article I found that has a handy guide: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/s...-and-questioning-a-guide-to-the-brave-new-wo/

To me, 'love' is merely the opposite of hate. You enjoy someone, you want to be around someone, you feel invested in their life. Doesn't matter how fast it happened or if it ends someday.
I recommend not 'pitying' someone who claims to have never known romantic love, nor judging ones who have gone for it and had a relationship that ended badly.

For me, the "pity" part mostly comes in because it's clear that 9 times out of 10, the people saying things like this online are not aromantic or asexual, they're depressed or anxious or otherwise convinced that they are *unworthy* of these things, and have begun rationalizing it away to relieve the pain. Yes, some people truly don't want or need "love" in the common usage of the term, but there's also a fuckton of people who just haven't found it and deserve to know they can and be given the tools to do so.
 
Oct 27, 2017
6,411
Lol good lord. Still no evidence provided but you seem insufferable either way, god help that girl.

God help that girl who is madly in love with me? Damn, such a shane, she is truly in a miserable situation!

Like seriously dude, you haven't found love. It's okay. You don't need to comment on everyone's relationship because you have yet to have one.
 
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