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Angie

Best Avatar Thread Ever!
Member
Nov 20, 2017
39,490
Kingdom of Corona
It would be a good opportunity for Sony to license some of its IPs to third party studios (as Nintendo has done for many years). It would be wiser than sitting in a pile of forgotten IPs 🤷‍♂️
But if Sony wanted him to work on Siren or GR, and he wanted too, why did he left?
Feels Sony have other plans for him, and he rather work on something else.
 

Aerial51

Member
Apr 24, 2020
3,686
qydXjtM.gif
When Jim laughs at you like this, he either really liked your joke or you gotta run.
 

Disco

Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,453
Yes if both run the same updated version (with patches and so on). If you install a game from disc and does not download any patch, that version will probably be smaller (not mandatory, as a Days Gone patch reduced the file size by half)

thanks. i may just end up getting a digital edition then tomorrow. assuming I can even touch the add to cart button before it sells out lmao :(
 

Ariakon44

Prophet of Truth
Member
Nov 17, 2020
10,185
Well... Thing is, Katharsis has a lot of proof for it happening. The mods have said so themselves. If it would be canceled (Even though it's ~11 months away from the release last I heard), I'm sure Katharsis wouldn't be banned since they've provided proof to the moderators and have never lied (Even though the general public haven't seen the product that was leaked)

I would be surprised if the Silent Hill thing didn't happen for other reasons that I can't say. Of course, this might change over-day, but I also believe that Katharsis (Or someone else) said that key members of the staff had left, but development was continuing a while ago. It's pretty obvious that they left a while ago since they're already finished with the concept face in their new studio.

I will say, I fully believe that Silent Hill under Sony will happen simply because it lines up with other rumors that I HAVE intel on. I'll also say that I fully support and believe Katharsis from personal conversations I've had with them. If it doesn't happen, well... I can assure you that it was in development for multiple years. They even have a trailer ready that is/was planned to be shown very soon.

Katharsis seems very friendly in my interactions with her thus far, I really doubt she would give out info she didn't think was true. I'll just assume the worst and hope for the best, and if the game happens, it happens, if not, not. That way I can't get disappointed, but I can be very happily surprised.
 
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nolifebr

Banned
Sep 1, 2018
11,465
Curitiba/BR
But if Sony wanted him to work on Siren or GR, and he wanted too, why did he left?
Feels Sony have other plans for him, and he rather work on something else.

Maybe if Toyama himself wanted to. Sony probably wouldn't want to spend time and money from their own studio to develop a smaller/AA Siren or Gravity Rush game, but might be okay to pay for another studio to do that.

In a perfect world:

First Party Studios: Blockbuster games with a lot of investment.
Second Party / Licensing: Smaller games with a limited budget.

Sony really needs to stop being so protective with its IPS... As I said a few months ago, I doubt that doesn't exist a medium/indie studio out there that can't make a good and small Twisted Metal game.
 
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KatharsisT

Banned
Mar 2, 2020
2,012
Not cool
So, I think I need to clarify things a little bit.

Toyama directed Silent Hill. The game is still on track and is fine. Japan Studio are still developing it. And I think there's no need to attack me because someone is leaving the studio, even if it's the game director doesn't mean the game doesn't exist or Halo Infinite just got cancelled twice. I think a lot of people here need to calm down to every announcement they hear and stop being extremists. Your hearts will thank me.

And don't worry, the game is fine, if Toyama leaves now, it means it's in a healthy situation.

Now, I'm gonna stay away until next week.

See you at The Game Awards.
 

ArmGunar

PlayStatistician
Member
Oct 30, 2017
6,527
So, I think I need to clarify things a little bit.

Toyama directed Silent Hill. The game is still on track and is fine. Japan Studio are still developing it. And I think there's no need to attack me because someone is leaving the studio, even if it's the game director doesn't mean the game doesn't exist or Halo Infinite just got cancelled twice. I think a lot of people here need to calm down to every announcement they hear and stop being extremists. Your hearts will thank me.

And don't worry, the game is fine, if Toyama leaves now, it means it's in a healthy situation.

Now, I'm gonna stay away until next week.

See you at The Game Awards.
I believe you, though the timing of this departure announcement (1 week before TGA) is not ideal lol

Can't wait for TGA :P
 

Kunjiru

Member
Apr 14, 2020
1,483
It's so weird that people get so hooked on the idea that individuals make the games what they are and when they leave it's all doom and gloom. Sure, sometimes the individuals steer the project in a particular direction, but it's not like they really do it alone and without others approval or help. It's been proven dozens of time that even the biggest names can do some shitty projects or no projects at all for years without a proper team and overseer - look at Halo Infinite mess which had some big names attached to it, Michael Ancel projects, Ueda (even though Last Guardian is unique and good it took waaaay too long and was too much of a technical mess for 8 years of development), Romero etc. If Toyama left then maybe he already finished what he had to do or maybe he didn't fit the project at the end? Same with Bend guys, they did their thing, prepared team for future development and just went to try something else and maybe the new blood will make something even better thanks to what's been left to them. So yeah, enjoy and anticipate games for what they are/can be and not because of the names attached.


So, I think I need to clarify things a little bit.

Toyama directed Silent Hill. The game is still on track and is fine. Japan Studio are still developing it. And I think there's no need to attack me because someone is leaving the studio, even if it's the game director doesn't mean the game doesn't exist or Halo Infinite just got cancelled twice. I think a lot of people here need to calm down to every announcement they hear and stop being extremists. Your hearts will thank me.

And don't worry, the game is fine, if Toyama leaves now, it means it's in a healthy situation.

Now, I'm gonna stay away until next week.

See you at The Game Awards.


Hey, take care and see you on the day we can be hyped about Silent Hill and other cool announced games!
 
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Dust

C H A O S
Member
Oct 25, 2017
32,288
So, I think I need to clarify things a little bit.

Toyama directed Silent Hill. The game is still on track and is fine. Japan Studio are still developing it. And I think there's no need to attack me because someone is leaving the studio, even if it's the game director doesn't mean the game doesn't exist or Halo Infinite just got cancelled twice. I think a lot of people here need to calm down to every announcement they hear and stop being extremists. Your hearts will thank me.

And don't worry, the game is fine, if Toyama leaves now, it means it's in a healthy situation.

Now, I'm gonna stay away until next week.

See you at The Game Awards.
It's just that the whole thing is so weird.
Toyama is leaving SIE after working on a horror game (Silent Hill)...to establish Indie studio to work on a another horror game?
Wouldn't be in Sony's best interest to ensure he stays if SH is a success warranting a sequel?
 

shadowman16

Member
Oct 25, 2017
32,009
The entire... damn... rumor was hinged.... on Yamaoka, Ito, and Toyama leading this thing...

Ok, lets go down memory lane shall we...

"Toyama+Ito+Yamaoka are rebooting Silent Hill, and Kojima is reviving PT "

- The reveal date given by insiders is a dud

"COVID could have delayed the reveal, and they wanted a heavy hitter for their state of play"

- Yamaoka is revealed to be working on another game

"It's just a soundtrack, dude can work on this and Silent Hill"

- Konami denies the rumors

"Of course they would, they want it to be a surprise "

- Insiders give the next obvious reveal date that we all guessed, the state of play. Dud

(Most people got sense knocked into them by then)... "COVID/They did not need it, because MS lacked halo/They only wanted to show 2021 games at the farthest "

All of the Kojima shit is debunked, mainly stuff concerning Death Stranding

"Not everyone claimed stuff about Kojima/Maybe their sources on Kojima are not as strong as their SIE Japan info"

Toyama leaves, reveals he had no desire on large projects,. When one of the prominent insiders claimed Toyama was incredibly well regarded and liked in SIE, and was being given everything he wants because SIE justs wants him to succeed THAT BAD 🤗

".... *INSERT HERE*..... wait for the Game Awards 😬"

Like come ON people 🤣

Don't worry, I'm sure they'll come up with another stupid reason to prolong this sham of a rumor. I never believed this SH thing to begin with (the "evidence" was paper thin at best) and the constant backtracking and revisionism as to when it'd be shown got more unbelievable as the months went on. And now this... like, the most interesting part of this rumor (Toyama - the man who knows horror and SH, being involved, leaves Sony) is pretty much shattered (unless the new theory is his new studio is totally working on the reboot...)

I'll continue my stance of - its fake until its actually shown. I've done this dance with Shenmue for decades and from experience its just easier to assume its dead until its not!
 

Alienhated

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,549
Ueda is gone, Toyama is gone, the most prominent talents currently involved with SCEJ are french... Modern Sony is just sickening to me right now.
 

Ariakon44

Prophet of Truth
Member
Nov 17, 2020
10,185
Sickening seems like a pretty extreme word to use about videogames, IMO.
 
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Eden-prime

Member
May 21, 2020
309
So, I think I need to clarify things a little bit.

Toyama directed Silent Hill. The game is still on track and is fine. Japan Studio are still developing it. And I think there's no need to attack me because someone is leaving the studio, even if it's the game director doesn't mean the game doesn't exist or Halo Infinite just got cancelled twice. I think a lot of people here need to calm down to every announcement they hear and stop being extremists. Your hearts will thank me.

And don't worry, the game is fine, if Toyama leaves now, it means it's in a healthy situation.

Now, I'm gonna stay away until next week.

See you at The Game Awards.

Regardless of how it turns out. It is fun (for me at least) to have Silent Hill back in discussion and actually reignite my flames for horror games. I always appreciate your comments.
 

Dust

C H A O S
Member
Oct 25, 2017
32,288
The only good thing outta this is that AstroBot crew might get a proper budget and green light for a big Astro game.
 

OneEyedJuliet

Member
Jan 20, 2020
1,050
Me, coming to this thread to find 6 pages of meltdown because someone left a Sony studio to start their own:
17051905.jpg

This is almost as boring as acquisitions talk. Japan Studio will be fine, guys. People come and go in all industries.

I think it's more concerning when artists and developers leave alltogether the business because of burnout due to extreme crunch culture and low wages/explotaiton. I don't thinkt that's the case here.
 
Oct 7, 2020
1,003
Italy
So, I think I need to clarify things a little bit.

Toyama directed Silent Hill. The game is still on track and is fine. Japan Studio are still developing it. And I think there's no need to attack me because someone is leaving the studio, even if it's the game director doesn't mean the game doesn't exist or Halo Infinite just got cancelled twice. I think a lot of people here need to calm down to every announcement they hear and stop being extremists. Your hearts will thank me.

And don't worry, the game is fine, if Toyama leaves now, it means it's in a healthy situation.

Now, I'm gonna stay away until next week.

See you at The Game Awards.
I'm still team #happening. Nothing can stop this train!



But I must say that it was pretty disheartening at first reading the news this morning.
 
Apr 11, 2018
2,437
Sweden
Holy shit, it's hilarious watching people freak out over this.

I agree that it's very unfortunate, but it seems like somewhat of an overreaction. One week ago everyone was so happy, all of the sudden we have people leaving both Bend and Japan, and all of the sudden everything is a dumpster fire xD
 

Simon-chan

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,044
Italy
If you're fine and dandy with the current situation, good for you.
Still, people are allowed to be disappointed, you know. Sony's Japanese support has reached a new low. Again.
"But PS5 is selling gangbusters!"
Yeah, whoopty fuckin doo.
 

Aerial51

Member
Apr 24, 2020
3,686
Holy shit, it's hilarious watching people freak out over this.

I agree that it's very unfortunate, but it seems like somewhat of an overreaction. One week ago everyone was so happy, all of the sudden we have people leaving both Bend and Japan, and all of the sudden everything is a dumpster fire xD
Industry people leaving and changing studios is a common thing but Jeff Ross, Garvin and Toyama were people that worked for over a decade at Sony and if Lead people leave especially during production of a Game is just never really that good of a sign. Halo is in development trouble and key figures left there, when SSM Sci Fi Game was cancelled you had people like Stig going and so on. Couple that with the Bloomberg Report that Japan gets heavily sidelined by Sony and Japan Studios scope was reduced it just doesn't sound that nice. And sure you had Uncharted 4 which came out fantastic, but that Game had severe Development Troubles as well and cut features like the stamina bar which can be felt during the Game.

I want SH to be real and i still believe it is coming but i doubt it's coming from Japan Studio right now.
 

OneThirtyEight

Avenger
Oct 28, 2017
5,663
Please, someone guide me through the new PS Store on PS5. Where do i find the sales tab? All i could find yesterday was the PS+ exclusive disscounts.....
 

FFNB

Associate Game Designer
Verified
Oct 25, 2017
6,125
Los Angeles, CA
Bloomberg said that Sony doesn't like Peanut Butter, adn will get rid of it.

They've never once tweeted about peanut butter, so this checks out. Make the thread.

All this hand-wringing and panic is giving me a headache. I may need to dip out of the thread for a while, until we're back in the cycle where people aren't over-reacting to the slightest shift in the wind in the industry.

Turnaround and burnout are very real in this industry, and people change positions, leave companies, or exit the industry completely all of the time. It's completely normal and isn't indicative of the sky falling. The various studios who have had departures will keep on trucking. It's not like these studios just leave the gap left by the departing employee. Generally, they have someone experienced enough to step in to fill the role well before the person departs. Again, it's completely normal.
 
Apr 11, 2018
2,437
Sweden
Industry people leaving and changing studios is a common thing but Jeff Ross, Garvin and Toyama were people that worked for over a decade at Sony and if Lead people leave especially during production of a Game is just never really that good of a sign. Halo is in development trouble and key figures left there, when SSM Sci Fi Game was cancelled you had people like Stig going and so on. Couple that with the Bloomberg Report that Japan gets heavily sidelined by Sony and Japan Studios scope was reduced it just doesn't sound that nice. And sure you had Uncharted 4 which came out fantastic, but that Game had severe Development Troubles as well and cut features like the stamina bar which can be felt during the Game.

I want SH to be real and i still believe it is coming but i doubt it's coming from Japan Studio right now.
Oh, I absolutely agree. But that it's "sickening" etc is a weird take. Sony and SIE is very much in great shape.

And I still believe Silent Hill is happening + in good shape :) But we shall see!
 

fanboy

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
4,452
Slovakia
With Bend, I see no issue, they're a talented studio, and people will fill the roles.

Sony Japan really needs to start proving themselves, especially now that they're losing Toyama, and it's safe to assume Cerny isn't working on another game.

They dont really have to prove themselves. They helped built Shadow of Collossus and now Demon's Souls. They have created new PS mascot and delivered 2 great games with him, amazing even. The Last Guardian was great as well, truly memorable game they helped create. They are talented as fuck. Problem is withing the management and planning, which was a huge pain in the studio's ass for whole generation, even longer. We need to patient and see what are they actually working on for PS5.

So, I think I need to clarify things a little bit.

Toyama directed Silent Hill. The game is still on track and is fine. Japan Studio are still developing it. And I think there's no need to attack me because someone is leaving the studio, even if it's the game director doesn't mean the game doesn't exist or Halo Infinite just got cancelled twice. I think a lot of people here need to calm down to every announcement they hear and stop being extremists. Your hearts will thank me.

And don't worry, the game is fine, if Toyama leaves now, it means it's in a healthy situation.

Now, I'm gonna stay away until next week.

See you at The Game Awards.

I never stopped believing in you. Hang tight, you survived some shit that were against your claims before.

It's just that the whole thing is so weird.
Toyama is leaving SIE after working on a horror game (Silent Hill)...to establish Indie studio to work on a another horror game?
Wouldn't be in Sony's best interest to ensure he stays if SH is a success warranting a sequel?

If the core of the game is already finished, even game director can step down.I wouldnt expect this to be a huge, 20 hours long game. Its possible that the game is fine and they can finish it without him.
Also, Toyama and co. clearly wanted to work on smaller titles than what Japan Studio producers and directors were aiming for in the future. They also wanted to be indie. There is nothing Sony could do to please them.
 

MavFan619

Member
Oct 25, 2017
661
New York
Just want to say that I beat Miles Morales (not spoiling) and dear lord, that game outpaces Spider-Man ps4 a million times over. It has MUCH better pacing, cooler abilities, more interesting characters, and a more refined art style (made possible because of improvements in tech). I played on PS5 30 fps mode. It's sensational, even the music design kicks Spider-Man ps4s butt.

I genuinely don't know that a new Peter Parker Spider-Man would even touch the quality of this game. It's special because it's unique and Peter Parker is so popular because he's so relatable (ie not unique). They specifically built Peter Parker for that purpose and he absolutely pales in comparison to Miles - in my opinion, in both the comics and the games. Regardless, I hope they take lessons from how amazing this game is. I also hope any new Spider-Man is as short and sweet as this. What an amazing length for a game.
I want some sort of GTAV style character switch for the next game that would be a cool use of the SSD if the two (or more) are far from each other and would be cool for combat. I think for a cross gen game it looks great I can only imagine built from the ground up for PS5 what they do.
 

MavFan619

Member
Oct 25, 2017
661
New York
Holy shit, it's hilarious watching people freak out over this.

I agree that it's very unfortunate, but it seems like somewhat of an overreaction. One week ago everyone was so happy, all of the sudden we have people leaving both Bend and Japan, and all of the sudden everything is a dumpster fire xD
Reminds me of last gen during UC4 development when Amy Hennig left Naughty Dog. People freaked out and in my opinion, it wasn't that serious. Ueda left and The Last Guardian still came out with his help. Have faith that the people who are still around know what they are doing.
 

Alienhated

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,549
I'm not an English speaker so if "sickening" is really this heavy of a word then replace that with disheartening, extremely disappointing, or whatever suits mere videogame-talk the most in your opinion.
I know that the majority of you SonyEra posters only care for your PS3-era Naughty Dog-ish cinematic western stuff and will just be happy that SantaMonica is hiring while handwaving everything else, but there's still people that used to like all those non-GT SCEJ first party productions, and it's perfectly legitimate to be upset that the biggest talents behind some of their most defining games to date are just being tossed away with no fucks given.
Also i don't hate frenchs or anything but it really speaks volumes that the only in-house Japanese stuff that has recently been allowed to exist needed to have western direction and artstyle, and it's still just low budget VR and tech demos anyway.
 

Richardi

Member
Oct 28, 2017
4,528
Industry people leaving and changing studios is a common thing but Jeff Ross, Garvin and Toyama were people that worked for over a decade at Sony and if Lead people leave especially during production of a Game is just never really that good of a sign. Halo is in development trouble and key figures left there, when SSM Sci Fi Game was cancelled you had people like Stig going and so on. Couple that with the Bloomberg Report that Japan gets heavily sidelined by Sony and Japan Studios scope was reduced it just doesn't sound that nice. And sure you had Uncharted 4 which came out fantastic, but that Game had severe Development Troubles as well and cut features like the stamina bar which can be felt during the Game.

I want SH to be real and i still believe it is coming but i doubt it's coming from Japan Studio right now.
Stop believing Bloomberg bullshit
 

Aerial51

Member
Apr 24, 2020
3,686
I'm not an English speaker so if "sickening" is really this heavy of a word then replace that with disheartening, extremely disappointing, or whatever suits mere videogame-talk the most in your opinion.
I know that the majority of you SonyEra posters only care for your PS3-era Naughty Dog-ish cinematic western stuff and will just be happy that SantaMonica is hiring while handwaving everything else, but there's still people that used to like all those non-GT SCEJ first party productions, and it's perfectly legitimate to be upset that the biggest talents behind some of their most defining games to date are just being tossed away with no fucks given.
Also i don't hate frenchs or anything but it really speaks volumes that the only in-house Japanese stuff that has recently been allowed to exist needed to have western direction and artstyle, and it's still just low budget VR and tech demos anyway.
So first of all. Japan Studio Games itself were quite cinematic. Ueda Games are cinematic Game so using that as an insult against the western side of Sony is a weird flex to me. Astrobot may be directed by a french Guy but in what world does that Game have a western artstyle?
That Toyama is gone sucks because i love Gravity Rush and Ueda being gone sucks just as much, so i think you are right to be dissapointed because i am as well especially when all their western studios can hire en mass while JS gets sidelined.
 

Modest_Modsoul

Living the Dreams
Member
Oct 29, 2017
23,677
Actually, the original IP that got the most recent success from SIEJA & Japan Studio was Astro Bot with 90 MC & Playroom.

And it was made from a team directed by a Frenchman.

So it's not 'sickening' per se to me.

More of a 'ironic' in good surprising way. 😄
 

Shairi

Member
Aug 27, 2018
8,581
They said in one of the interviews that they hope to maintain a good relationship with Sony and might actually try to work with them to release new games featuring some of the old IP they worked on. It just sounds like they wanted the ability to work on what they want instead of having to do giant, AAA-tier games.

So, Gravity Rush 3 by Bokeh Game Studio is still in the cards? I'm all for it. If Sony wasn't greenlighting it and now they just licence it out to the new studio. Great!

So, I think I need to clarify things a little bit.

Toyama directed Silent Hill. The game is still on track and is fine. Japan Studio are still developing it. And I think there's no need to attack me because someone is leaving the studio, even if it's the game director doesn't mean the game doesn't exist or Halo Infinite just got cancelled twice. I think a lot of people here need to calm down to every announcement they hear and stop being extremists. Your hearts will thank me.

And don't worry, the game is fine, if Toyama leaves now, it means it's in a healthy situation.

Now, I'm gonna stay away until next week.

See you at The Game Awards.

Yup, the director leaving doesn't mean that the whole game gets cancelled. Halo was also the first example that came to my mind.

Cory Barlog also left SSM during God of War 3 and the game still came out.

People really need to put their knives away.
 

Ariakon44

Prophet of Truth
Member
Nov 17, 2020
10,185
So, Gravity Rush 3 by Bokeh Game Studio is still in the cards? I'm all for it. If Sony wasn't greenlighting it and now they just licence it out to the new studio. Great!

It might have just been a mistranslation, but that's what it sounded like from the interview. Toyama sounded interested in perhaps asking Sony to revisit some of his IPs, which I suppose is mainly Gravity Rush and Siren. So, strangely, his leaving the company may actually open the door more widely for those games to return than him staying, as Sony seems more interested in having the studio produce bigger games.
 

Dust

C H A O S
Member
Oct 25, 2017
32,288
I'm not an English speaker so if "sickening" is really this heavy of a word then replace that with disheartening, extremely disappointing, or whatever suits mere videogame-talk the most in your opinion.
I know that the majority of you SonyEra posters only care for your PS3-era Naughty Dog-ish cinematic western stuff and will just be happy that SantaMonica is hiring while handwaving everything else, but there's still people that used to like all those non-GT SCEJ first party productions, and it's perfectly legitimate to be upset that the biggest talents behind some of their most defining games to date are just being tossed away with no fucks given.
Also i don't hate frenchs or anything but it really speaks volumes that the only in-house Japanese stuff that has recently been allowed to exist needed to have western direction and artstyle, and it's still just low budget VR and tech demos anyway.
By SonyEra I think you mean literally most of gaming population.PlayStation is at their biggest ever, coming from their best 1st party generation strictly because of focusing on big AAA blockbuster single player games. If you hate that, you might as well stop following Sony because that is their modus operandi now.

Besides, there are whimsical games like Ratchet, AstroBot, Concrete Genie and Dreams sprinkled throughout but I doubt you care.
 

Alienhated

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,549
So first of all. Japan Studio Games itself were quite cinematic. Ueda Games are cinematic Game so using that as an insult against the western side of Sony is a weird flex to me. Astrobot may be directed by a french Guy but in what world does that Game have a western artstyle?
That Toyama is gone sucks because i love Gravity Rush and Ueda being gone sucks just as much, so i think you are right to be dissapointed because i am as well especially when all their western studios can hire en mass while JS gets sidelined.
I'm not using "cinematic" as an insult but just as a way to describe those games. Maybe "hollywoodesqe" could be closer and more specific about Sony's modern western output's taste and style.
I would actually ask instead: what about Astro Bot looks distinctly Japanese to you? I would definitely say "nothing".


By SonyEra I think you mean literally most of gaming population.PlayStation is at their biggest ever, coming from their best 1st party generation strictly because of focusing on big AAA blockbuster single player games. If you hate that, you might as well stop following Sony because that is their modus operandi now.

Besides, there are whimsical games like Ratchet, AstroBot, Concrete Genie and Dreams sprinkled throughout but I doubt you care.

I'm well aware that this is what sells more and no one is arguing that, i'm just saying that is "disappointing" that even an enthusiast hardcore Sony comunity with a lot of 30+ years old posters only care for Playstation's last ten years' history and not much more.
Anyway western's americanized "whimsical" is completely different from Japanese's in tone, style and sensibility, and i'm not even saying that the former is objectively worse or anything, but that who legitimately craves the latter (with PS first party being a fertile platform for that kind of stuff during most of its existence) will never be satisfyed with that.
It's just sad, and hopefully i'm allowed to use such a strong word in my super epic and extreme "meltdown".
 
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