In Vancouver, Filipinos are vastly overrepresented as fast food employees so it gives the impression they're much poorer than the Chinese population here. I don't know what the actual stats would be, though.
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IMHO preference in itself isn't racist.
It's how you treat the person. The reverse-racists make their intentions pretty clear and it becomes obvious it's just a fetish for them.
How is preference for dating a certain race not racist? Under what circumstance can one reasonably give for preferring a race above others that isn't rooted in racist sentiment?
Chinese Canadians experience the most poverty out of all racialized groups, next to South Asians: https://www.canada.ca/en/employment...ies/reports/poverty-profile-snapshot.html#h15
(Note that these statistics exclude Aboriginal/Indigenous peoples.)
Is it so different than someone having a type they prefer? Is "I like redheads" better than "I like girls with asian facial features"? Or preferring girls with long legs.
It's a type preference. Nothing wrong with that.
It's racist when it precludes the possibility of anyone within a specific racial group from romantic or sexual attraction.
After watching the documentary, the one part that got to me was the matchmaker who said that clients who were looking for mates who shared their values, but when she asked whether if they wanted an Asian male who had those qualities, her female clients were stunned that it just occurred to them that it was even possible.
I'm an Asian male dating a white female which is, as far as I know, extremely rare. (Actually all my partners have been). It's anecdotal, but I do know some Asian women that are treated pretty brazenly racist on tinder/ok cupid and exotisized/fetishized overtly even in initial contact. Maybe not the norm, but I have heard of some very offensive interactions occurring.
I digress, I feel like other Asian males feel that WMAF dating is a power dynamic, and there's a pervasive feeling of Asian American men of feeling like "foreigners" even if their family has been here for generations. So I imagine there's some resentment towards WMAF pairings within my demographic. It's unfounded. I feel like you just need to be yourself and leave that kind of self imposed baggage behind. If there is some sort of social dictation that Asian males aren't desireable partners, I've found it no different than if you were short or fat or whatever. You just have to be comfortable in your own skin.
I digress, I feel like other Asian males feel that WMAF dating is a power dynamic, and there's a pervasive feeling of Asian American men of feeling like "foreigners" even if their family has been here for generations. So I imagine there's some resentment towards WMAF pairings within my demographic. It's unfounded. I feel like you just need to be yourself and leave that kind of self imposed baggage behind. If there is some sort of social dictation that Asian males aren't desireable partners, I've found it no different than if you were short or fat or whatever. You just have to be comfortable in your own skin.
I'd say it's a bit different, since any girl can have red hair, regardless of race. To say you only prefer girls with certain features that are exclusive to one race, you're essentially saying that one's race makes them unattractive to you.
Traditional Asian cultures are extremely patriarchal with male privilege, so finding a more Western, liberally minded Asian man would definitely be off their radar...
It's not a good sentiment, but it's definitely understandable as to where it comes from.
You should read about the Chinese population on the Mississippi Delta. It's not just Asian males, but rather entire ethnicities that have problems with social integration.
https://www.npr.org/2017/03/18/519017287/the-legacy-of-the-mississippi-delta-chinese
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NMrqGHr5zE
So you're saying being an Asian male is like being a fat or short male? Which are both undesriable traits?
Yeah it's tough because I was born and raised in Chicago as well as my mom, no knowledge of language and no reminents of the traditional culture instilled in the household. Again, you might have a certain image projected on you, but it's really easy to shed that by getting to know somebody.
It's a little harder as a actor not being able to have facial hair or many tattoos because it doesn't fit with the image. I usually prefer rocking a beard (goatee) and mustache but it doesn't seem to do well in auditions.
Im saying it's no worse than being short or fat, and in all cases it's more the person's self perception rather than actual social constraints.
Ugh. Minorities have such a hard time with auditions and acting. There were stories of even Steven Yuen having to audition for roles after TWD.
I'm always taken back to Vin Diesel's first short (Multi-Racial). We're either too ethnic or not ethnic enough...
User was permanently banned for a history of sexist and racist trolling posts
There is a very simple answer to why this is. Asian men are no longer raised as men. The term "Momma's Boy" is no where more true than in asian countries like China, Korea, and Japan.
Birth rates are down, so the increased importance of having a male son in the family is paramount which unfortunately leads to an over protective matriarchal society that pampers and babies the sons, and especially the first born son. Most boys don't do anything while growing up. They don't clean up after themselves, they don't cook, do dishes, house chores. Their sole goal in life is to study and get into a competitive college. So most boys are pretty helpless and can't even wash themselves in most situations cause their mom's bath them.
The only man training they get is when they have to do military service. Where for the first time, their mom's are no longer there. They bond with other boys raised the same way and they live for the next couple years under a male cast system. They come out being a bit more self sufficient, but when they get out, their mom's are right there to pick up after them again.
So most women don't have true "male" figures to date. Basically at a time when their hormones are raging and want someone to look up to, they meet a guy, mostly through social introductions via family or match making services, only to meet a guy they have to take care of like a baby, when they aren't even ready for motherhood. For some women, this is fine and they go right on babying their boyfriends to earn the respect of the boy's mother who pays an important part in whether they get married or not. Especially if the boy is from an influential family with money.
Asian boys are extremely effeminate. Just look at the models and pop singers in japan and korea today. They look like girls.
I think women in general, want a strong alpha male type and its really really difficult to find them in asia today. So more independent women who want a career or to do something other than being a housewife will seek out white guys. First, because dating a brown or black is beneath them. Whites are the next best choice. White guys compared to asian boys are more manly than asian momma's boys.
I can see how this is looked at by a socially awkward asian boy as being a traitor because they were brought up to be worshipped for being just male with no other redeeming characters, except maybe they got into one of the top colleges.
I think the culture has manifested itself into a natural reaction from the boys as "why the fuck aren't you marrying me, and instead being a race traitor" which really is not that much different from american feminists point of view of men where they want every man to worship them but instead are aghast that no men like fat, slutty, bitches that have no manners. Asian men are the epitome of the male feminist with the same irrational logic.
Birth rates are down, so the increased importance of having a male son in the family is paramount which unfortunately leads to an over protective matriarchal society that pampers and babies the sons, and especially the first born son. Most boys don't do anything while growing up. They don't clean up after themselves, they don't cook, do dishes, house chores. Their sole goal in life is to study and get into a competitive college. So most boys are pretty helpless and can't even wash themselves in most situations cause their mom's bath them.
The only man training they get is when they have to do military service. Where for the first time, their mom's are no longer there. They bond with other boys raised the same way and they live for the next couple years under a male cast system. They come out being a bit more self sufficient, but when they get out, their mom's are right there to pick up after them again.
So most women don't have true "male" figures to date. Basically at a time when their hormones are raging and want someone to look up to, they meet a guy, mostly through social introductions via family or match making services, only to meet a guy they have to take care of like a baby, when they aren't even ready for motherhood. For some women, this is fine and they go right on babying their boyfriends to earn the respect of the boy's mother who pays an important part in whether they get married or not. Especially if the boy is from an influential family with money.
Asian boys are extremely effeminate. Just look at the models and pop singers in japan and korea today. They look like girls.
I think women in general, want a strong alpha male type and its really really difficult to find them in asia today. So more independent women who want a career or to do something other than being a housewife will seek out white guys. First, because dating a brown or black is beneath them. Whites are the next best choice. White guys compared to asian boys are more manly than asian momma's boys.
I can see how this is looked at by a socially awkward asian boy as being a traitor because they were brought up to be worshipped for being just male with no other redeeming characters, except maybe they got into one of the top colleges.
I think the culture has manifested itself into a natural reaction from the boys as "why the fuck aren't you marrying me, and instead being a race traitor" which really is not that much different from american feminists point of view of men where they want every man to worship them but instead are aghast that no men like fat, slutty, bitches that have no manners. Asian men are the epitome of the male feminist with the same irrational logic.
Can't watch the video now, but I've bookmarked it and will watch later. I've been a fan of Natalie Tran's stuff and I'm curious to see what she has to say about this.
Where I live (California Bay Area), it seems that white male Asian female relationships are extremely common. I haven't noticed anyone say anything bad about them though.
I find it curious that there are more Asian female white male pairings than white female Asian male. Though I'm less curious why this is and more curious how it is. Like, how is that even possible, numerically. This is a zero sum game. If there are so many Asian female white male pairings, then what are all the Asian men and white women doing? Are they more likely to pair with other races? Or are they less likely to be in relationships at all? I would be interested if someone analyzed that side of the coin as well.
Where I live (California Bay Area), it seems that white male Asian female relationships are extremely common. I haven't noticed anyone say anything bad about them though.
I find it curious that there are more Asian female white male pairings than white female Asian male. Though I'm less curious why this is and more curious how it is. Like, how is that even possible, numerically. This is a zero sum game. If there are so many Asian female white male pairings, then what are all the Asian men and white women doing? Are they more likely to pair with other races? Or are they less likely to be in relationships at all? I would be interested if someone analyzed that side of the coin as well.
What I'm saying is that by, you grouping being Asian with being short or fat implies that those are undesirable traits. Because that's how society perceives short & fat. How can you say it's self perception when others opinion of them are clearly not great?
White women are fine. Asian men's plight is more similar to black women's, in that most of the opportunities for dating are given only within their racial groups
Curious as to whether you're a self-hating Asian dude, or just a really racist white dude.
This hits the nail on the head.
To extend on this, the one statistic that doesn't get explored often -- aside from the OkC study, of which we don't have the actual sample size and demographic data -- is the number of Asian men that actually pursue non-Asian women.
I think I pointed this out in a previous post. The true story behind these statistics are the number of single people (and their relational attitudes) within each ethnicity.
Sorry, which post was this? I tried to look but I didn't find it.
I'm interested in the stories of single people. Is it really the case that there are more single Asian men than single white men? In that case, assuming there are equal numbers of men and women in the world, what is the group of single women that counter-balances the group of single Asian men? And why haven't these people paired up with each other? Is it the case they dislike each other so much they would prefer being single?
I'm also curious to how this statistics varies over the lifetime of a person. Do these single people eventually get married, just later in life? Or do they remain single forever?
Why use the term unattractive, when it's just less attractive? A preference doesn't exclude people not having certain features also.
User has been warned for: Insulting/taunting a user
Thanks for this hot take. You seem like an expert on "the most controversial interracial pairings". Please tell me more about how your anecdotal experiences mean that others can't feel pain from being criticized (as evidenced in a 40 minute doc and from people in this thread) for being a similar scenario you were in just because you didn't feel pain.
Your post is shitty, "tbh".
My own experience with my Chinese friends is that they're probably going to just end up using their American citizenship as a bargaining chip to find a wife from their home countries. One told me about an offer made to his mother ranging in the tens of thousands of dollars for his hand in marriage and citizenship. He said no.
'Racial affinity' is bullshit since race is a false construct. You can prefer height, face, weight, tone, attitude, etc. But any more is bullshit. You can bank on success, nothing wrong with that. But any pretense to prefer any ethnicity over another is simply prejudice. As an lifelong artist I can say that physical features are interchangeable. To depend on racial makeup is simply disgusting typecasting of human beings.
Pretty much this. If you have a preference for a particular "race" and don't find certain other "races" attractive, in addition to being prejudiced, you're racist.
As a foreign face living in Taiwan the ethnicity-class dynamics are much more pronounced. Westerners here tend to be paid more because they're a marketable commodity. Same old white privilege as you find back home, just a different flavor. And Westerners regardless of skin tone tend to be much more insular for language reasons, leading to even more class dynamics. If I'm a straight American/Canadian/Australian etc. man, for example, then that means, until I learn fluent Chinese, I'm probably going to be dating bilingual women, which limits my dating pool to generally more affluent, internationally mobile women with certain attitudes.
So there's a lot of resentment towards foreign men and "cross-cultural" women here from some Taiwanese men. By and large people like to talk about where I'm from and are very nice, but I've still been told to my and my partner's face on occasion that I'm taking away women that they don't want anyway, that I'm overpaid and couldn't succeed in my own country, etc. by total strangers.
Comparatively fewer single Western women end up here, so I'm not sure what their experiences are like. The two friends I have that are white women are both dating Western men, though. They couldn't find any local men who were right for them.
Fuck outta here with this shit. You can't condemn an entire group of diverse experiences based on a product sold to adolescent girls in 2 or 3 regions.
So there's a lot of resentment towards foreign men and "cross-cultural" women here from some Taiwanese men. By and large people like to talk about where I'm from and are very nice, but I've still been told to my and my partner's face on occasion that I'm taking away women that they don't want anyway, that I'm overpaid and couldn't succeed in my own country, etc. by total strangers.
Comparatively fewer single Western women end up here, so I'm not sure what their experiences are like. The two friends I have that are white women are both dating Western men, though. They couldn't find any local men who were right for them.
Fuck outta here with this shit. You can't condemn an entire group of diverse experiences based on a product sold to adolescent girls in 2 or 3 regions.
As an asian male, I have a preference for lighter skinned women and more preferably caucasian women. Idk why that is so it just what I came to be attracted to for the longest time, but as I've gotten older with more experiences my preferences have changed and basically widened to not just those limited attractions. It just depends on the individual. I have even thought about others preferences for attraction being very limited to just race and/or height to where it may or may not come off technically racist, but nothing of that came to that conclusion after I've talked to multiple women having specific personal preferences. Their choices "preferences" changed depending on their experiences.
Like others said, I always thought White Men / Asian Women were generally the most accepted interracial coupling. Every interracial couple has their share of challenges, but I'd argue White Men/Asian Women have the fewest compared to other IR couples. For example, I remember when a White Man/Asian Woman couple walk into a store just ahead of me in a mostly Asian neighborhood and barely anyone paid attention. But as soon as I (a black man) walked in with my Asian girlfriend, then entire store turned and stared at us giving a wide spectrum of looks, from curiosity to disgust. I also had to stay hidden from her parents for the first 6 months of our relationship. I hardly ever hear of white guys having to deal with this in their IR.
I've also been in interracial relationships with white women and hispanic women, so I have a lot of experience with how different racial parings are treated. Probably the easiest interracial pairing I had was with hispanic women. Didn't get that many weird looks on the street, and generally family and friends were pretty cool and welcoming. Dating white women was more a roll of a dice. Sometimes the family and friends were very welcoming and other times you could see the centuries of hate in their eyes with the relationship. But overall in the various interracial relationships I had, none of them were as easy as the ones white men have with asian women. When I talk to my friends who are in those IRs, it always goes like "you think you got it bad, let me tell you..." and by the end they realize how fortunate they are.
I've also been in interracial relationships with white women and hispanic women, so I have a lot of experience with how different racial parings are treated. Probably the easiest interracial pairing I had was with hispanic women. Didn't get that many weird looks on the street, and generally family and friends were pretty cool and welcoming. Dating white women was more a roll of a dice. Sometimes the family and friends were very welcoming and other times you could see the centuries of hate in their eyes with the relationship. But overall in the various interracial relationships I had, none of them were as easy as the ones white men have with asian women. When I talk to my friends who are in those IRs, it always goes like "you think you got it bad, let me tell you..." and by the end they realize how fortunate they are.
This is so true. Along with black males dark skin tone, the only experience Asian people have of black people is through media and music. Resulting in a negative perception of black people. I also remember my father specifically saying he was picked on in the US when he first arrived by black people,and other experiences like this probably spread through word of mouth due to the Asian community being so close knit.
Most of my friends were black growing up and my parents never let me bring them inside the house. But I was shitty kid so maybe that was a reason also.
Controversial opinion here, coming from an asian male....
I don't get why everyone is still hooked on to stereotypes and racism. I've met black people from both spectrums: "ghetto" and "yale-educated", both with their own stories that have taught me lessons. I've met white people ranging from "otakus" (that cause ultra levels of cringe) and "jocks" to the "philosophy-major intellectual", again with their own stories and experiences that make them unique. Everyone is different, mass labeling is retarded....
As for Asian male stereotype, I agree, most people think we have small dicks and don't like sex....well I just prove them wrong....I've dated/hooked up with white girls from SF, black girls from Oakland, asian girls from japanese to korean to chinese (my own race) and I love them all for the experiences/lessons they've provided me.
I find it kind of pointless that you have all these computer-jockeys caring so much about society and talking about stereotypes and racism thinking that text will solve the issue...but it won't. We live in an information filled era and everyone loves "new things". So I'm not surprised at white guys having "yellow fever" and really liking asian girls....asian men also fetish-ize white women...asian girls also want to try some "white meat"....does it matter? not really, if it does not concern you.
Treat people better, judge individuals for their actions, not their race...
I don't get why everyone is still hooked on to stereotypes and racism. I've met black people from both spectrums: "ghetto" and "yale-educated", both with their own stories that have taught me lessons. I've met white people ranging from "otakus" (that cause ultra levels of cringe) and "jocks" to the "philosophy-major intellectual", again with their own stories and experiences that make them unique. Everyone is different, mass labeling is retarded....
As for Asian male stereotype, I agree, most people think we have small dicks and don't like sex....well I just prove them wrong....I've dated/hooked up with white girls from SF, black girls from Oakland, asian girls from japanese to korean to chinese (my own race) and I love them all for the experiences/lessons they've provided me.
I find it kind of pointless that you have all these computer-jockeys caring so much about society and talking about stereotypes and racism thinking that text will solve the issue...but it won't. We live in an information filled era and everyone loves "new things". So I'm not surprised at white guys having "yellow fever" and really liking asian girls....asian men also fetish-ize white women...asian girls also want to try some "white meat"....does it matter? not really, if it does not concern you.
Treat people better, judge individuals for their actions, not their race...
Anybody that prefers a particular race should strongly question themselves on why they have their preference.
I remember seeing Yellow Fever over ten years ago. I can't imagine that crew realizing just how much that video blew up and spoke to people, atleast on some level, even if certain points definitely have not aged well with how we talk about social structures and interracial dating.
They made a sequel to it a little while ago which basically satirized it from the opposite viewpoint
Drawing on my own experiences; what do I get from bragging on an internet forum? I just don't agree with ideas of stereotyping and racism because these are issues that have been discussed since the year 2000. The only way to "fix" this issue, is from personal change. "Be the change you want to see in others". It's hard to ignite mass change in society, what YOU can do, right now, is have meaningful relationships with the people around you, and do not judge them for their race, judge them for their character. And spread the idea that everyone is different and that you hope that they can stop stereotyping as well.
What is whining and complaining on ERA going to do? Accusing someone else of bragging on a forum like it achieves anything for me or you or even the topic of stereotyping/racism?
Ehh, it's not really bragging. I find it to be a positive and uplifting message. Success can be found by Asian men.
There's no magic trick to dating. All I do is put up my hair, shave my face, and actually took the time/effort to talk to people as real human beings.
Honestly, a genuine and authentic smile is the most disarming thing anyone can do in their day to day lives. It's a near-perfect icebreaker to meet people as friends or something more.
Pairing is pretty common in NYC. I had some pretty shallow friends back in the day so all 3 WM/AF couples I knew were fetishizations.
Yeah no, let's not. Asian ethnic groups are incredibly diverse, with some having higher average heights than European groups. And there's no way we can discern what is genetic from what is environmental.
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You should see how tall high school kids in Aus are these days. They're second generation, but damn they're giants already.
And I've also seen plenty of different racial pairings in the city. It's all individual preference baby. Date who you want to date instead of judging on stereotypes.
And I've also seen plenty of different racial pairings in the city. It's all individual preference baby. Date who you want to date instead of judging on stereotypes.
I can't be the only one that gives the side eye when a white guy posts about having an Asian gf/wife that shits on/refuses to date Asian guys as if it's the natural thing to do, right? That shit is suspect as fuck, but I am beyond not surprised at how nonchalant and accepted it is. I mean hey, I might as well post in the Black OT about how I'm dating a black woman that says that she doesn't date black guys because reasons when there's a discussion about racism in dating. :shrugs:
The funny thing is that I've been with white girls and have known a few with an Asian fetish. Yes! They're out there and I'm talking non-weebs. It was freaking weird as hell when I was invited to a party at a university by a girl that used to chat with me about trying hooking up with Asian guys that couldn't get the hint, only to try to impress me by playing "Got Rice Bitch" to show that she was down. It was even weirder when a white guy at the party, I'm guessing was friend-zoned because everyone else was cool, started shitting on the song by saying that it was originally by Tupac etc. When talking to the girls with yellow fever, they explained how Asian guys are stylish, respectful, good to their families, loyal, know how to treat a girl right, and good all around boyfriend/husband material etc. I'm sure lots of guys would've let things "progress naturally" from there, but I was never one to take the jump if I wasn't 110% sure it was a safe landing. Point of the anecdote is that I'm no Angry Asian Man that's bitter about rejection
Considering what you just said about white guys with Taiwanese ladies and how socio-economic conditions trend towards those types of matches, don't you find it odd that your white women friends can't find any local men? Not attacking you here, but it just seems like a huge blindspot because you didn't address it in the same context as WMAF couplings in your circle.
That doesn't fix societal racism, muchless institutional racism. As for "whining" on a forum? You fight it where ever you see it. Do you think those racist shitposts in this thread should go unabated? And let me tell you, these issues have been discussed long before 2000. You're off by quite a few decades. I personally know people that were talking about it in the 60's and 70's. This isn't just directed at you either as there are a few people in the thread that go on about how easy it is by working out, cleaning yourself up, and having a good personality as if those were the only barriers. It's patronizing considering all the evidence to the contrary.
The funny thing is that I've been with white girls and have known a few with an Asian fetish. Yes! They're out there and I'm talking non-weebs. It was freaking weird as hell when I was invited to a party at a university by a girl that used to chat with me about trying hooking up with Asian guys that couldn't get the hint, only to try to impress me by playing "Got Rice Bitch" to show that she was down. It was even weirder when a white guy at the party, I'm guessing was friend-zoned because everyone else was cool, started shitting on the song by saying that it was originally by Tupac etc. When talking to the girls with yellow fever, they explained how Asian guys are stylish, respectful, good to their families, loyal, know how to treat a girl right, and good all around boyfriend/husband material etc. I'm sure lots of guys would've let things "progress naturally" from there, but I was never one to take the jump if I wasn't 110% sure it was a safe landing. Point of the anecdote is that I'm no Angry Asian Man that's bitter about rejection
Considering what you just said about white guys with Taiwanese ladies and how socio-economic conditions trend towards those types of matches, don't you find it odd that your white women friends can't find any local men? Not attacking you here, but it just seems like a huge blindspot because you didn't address it in the same context as WMAF couplings in your circle.
Agreed on ethnic groups being incredibly diverse. I was looking into average height differences and they are not that far off actually.
https://www.disabled-world.com/artman/publish/height-chart.shtml
But someone with a shorter height is at a disadvantage in the dating scene here. So if you are average or lower height, it will be harder for you to find someone.
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Azureth is a pretty good example of what happens when a man ties his self-validation up in archetypal western masculinity - in particular the line "worshipped for being just male with no other redeeming characters" indicates the psychological displacement employed to protect his own ego and the typical mind fallacy at work. This assumption that everyone else possesses his neuroses seems to be what informed his poorly constructed post. Not everyone obsesses about being "alpha", and to be honest doing so is the clearest indicator that one is failing to reach their own imaginary standards (that for the record, are based on an experiment done on wolves that had such poor ecological validity that its publisher spent the rest of his life railing against its pop cultural osmosis).
Alternatively, he just overdosed on his brain force ultra™.
Either way, that mindset and the resultant necessity to denigrate other forms of expression is the danger of the attitude of "reclaiming lost masculinity" taken too far.
Alternatively, he just overdosed on his brain force ultra™.
Either way, that mindset and the resultant necessity to denigrate other forms of expression is the danger of the attitude of "reclaiming lost masculinity" taken too far.
Totally, it is a little odd and it's a huge blindspot I have because most of my friends are either Taiwanese men/women or Western men. I can't speak to the experience of Western women dating local in Asia because I only hang out with two and the topic doesn't come up much. I'd love to hear their perspective, though.