Main Post part 1
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5.
Kane and Lynch: Dead Men - 4 hours
NOTE: this is impression about singleplayer mode, have no idea if coop is still functioning and don't really want to know. I can't imagine how IO managed to fuck up so badly, but this game is GARBAGE. I hate literally every aspect of this game, shooting, cover mechanics, story, protagonists, music, enemy AI, save system, i can't believe it so bad for real. Guns feels terrible and bullets spread is ridiculously high, even sniper riffle sometimes don't kill enemy at some angles or if you trying to shoot through bushes. This game also features one of the worst rocket launchers in videogames, this is useless stick that shooting smoke lines, there is no visual impact on vehicles and it's absolutely worthless against humans. Cover mechanics is broken, there is a lot "covers" that enemies shooting through, like walls and statues - at some level i decided to ignore armored vehicle that were shooting and me and run directly to mission point, only to find out that it can shoot through ruins where rebels were hiding. There is a lot levels where there is no covers in sight at all, long corridors and open squares means instadeath but there is nothing you can do in this situation. AI extremely stupid for both your allies and enemies, the only reason why it's hard to play this game is extremely low health of protagonists, which forces you to stay in covers and try to shoot anyone, so incredibly frustrating and boring. Level design is very questionable and it's relatively easy to accidentally broke the game - one time i decided to ignore story dialogue in bank and just run through the door, but halfway through game suddenly retake controls and forced me to go back and see how Lynch run through another door (!). Other example was in exchange hostage episode, near the end of the level i noticed that one of my allies for some reasons stuck in the beginning and ignored my commands, so i had to run back all the way through for him to finish the mission. Story could save the day, but it failed as well, devs tried to create serious tone, but it filled with boring cliche and plot holes. Protagonists should have been brutal gangsters, but instead they look like complete idiots and their actions are illogical and raising a lot "what the hell are you doing" questions. Devs also effectively ruined one of the rare good thing about this game, the atmosphere of criminal drama, by sending heroes to jungles and other low-budget military action movie decorations, turning story into lifeless run and gun. Endings is another shitshow, at one ending Kane's daughter suddenly started to care about situation and people she never saw before, so game forcing you to choose "real" ending that ends as terrible as expected. No matter what you choose, game ends like shit - maybe devs tried to keep "this is serious criminal drama here" line, but it failed because of how unlikable and dumb are characters is, it's incredibly unsatisfying to end game like this. Barebones gameplay, janky shooting and cover mechanics, boring predictable story, unlikable protagonists that can't just stop doing dumb shit, save system that saves your progress only between episodes and forces you to replay entire episode if game crashed after using Alt+Tab... Overall, Kane & Lynch was massive disappointment for me, it's not like they can't do fun action game, Freedom Fighters was fun to play, but this game is just terrible by all accounts.