Anyone else get extremely annoyed when strangers suggest you do inconsequential things?

[Tagyhag]

It'd be tough being friends with some people in Era.

Imagine having a friend randomly get mad at you cause they remembered an argument you guys had 10 years ago lol.

I can't imagine getting extremely annoyed at something so benign

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Same. Sorry that you were annoyed OP but I hope you eventually realize that there are worse things out there and it is healthier to just let super small things like this go.

 

[SkyMasterson]

comes off way more weird and controlling than kind to me.

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It seems like you do not like being told what to do lol

This line got me: "No, I will keep standing here". What a weird response. I bet that person made a post about you on Reddit.

 

[Clefargle]

comes off way more weird and controlling than kind to me.

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A suggestion is controlling to you? How would that person know that the boxes you are carrying are lighter than they appear? Seems like a non-issue to me. Just shrug and yawn and go on living your life because I guarantee you that's what this normal sounding person did.

 

[Surakian]

I think the funniest thing in this thread is people saying they wouldnt think about it seconds later. Like, I graduated highschool in 2010 and still think about interactions I had in school that piss me off

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Why? I barely remember what some rando said to me yesterday let alone 12 years ago unless it was a very unique/novel situation.

It's okay to let things go. Some things aren't worth the mental energy to retain, especially when they carry negative connotations. And you really shouldn't be carrying around that sort of mental baggage for that long.

 

[Clefargle]

Why? I barely remember what some rando said to me yesterday let alone 12 years ago unless it was a very unique/novel situation.

It's okay to let things go. Some things aren't worth the mental energy to retain, especially when they carry negative connotations. And you really shouldn't be carrying around that sort of mental baggage for that long.

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Exactly, I don't think most people sit around remembering perceived slights from High School days. It cant really affect your life anymore unless you let it. Just move on, realize that people are messy and they change, and try to enjoy the present. Otherwise you are gonna have a lot of frustration over things that you have absolutely zero way to influence.

 

[TarpitCarnivore]

Perhaps, but that's the position from which I'm giving OP the benefit of the doubt I guess.

I believe certain Karen types can be very much like this IRL.

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Nothing about this is being a "Karen". A simple social interaction doesn't automatically make someone a "Karen". Good lord nothing said in the OP is in anyway shape or form some kind of hostile thing.

 

[John Rabbit]

What an incredible thread backfire. I'm struggling to think of something LESS benign than these two interactions and OP's out here like FUCK YOU I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME

 

[z e r t]

This is the most resetera thread I've read in a while.

 

[Mezentine]

Look I get some of the annoyance some of you are expressing at these minor interactions, but to let them provoke anything other than like a half second moment of irritation in you is...well, it comes off a little obsessive.

 

[dallow_bg]

Controlling when they're just giving good customer service? Yikes.

 

[DrScruffleton]

Controlling when they're just giving good customer service? Yikes.

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Why is a random person trying to give me customer service? I'm not their customer

I think you have misread this post

 

[dallow_bg]

Why is a random person trying to give me customer service? I'm not their customer

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My bad, I read the suggestions in the first post as coming from employees.
Ok, I can kind of get it now.

 

[Apathy]

I understand the op. I get annoyed at shit like that. "Oh really? I can put down my package?! Noooo you don't say.I never even thought about that. You need to be dispensing this amazing knowledge at Harvard, not here at the UPS store".

It's not them being considerate, it's just straight up not minding their business.

 

[thomas_cale]

Who cares, just tell them i´m fine and go about your day

 

[Amnesty]

I have zero emotional reaction to things random people out in the world say to me. It just washes over me like if an animal just made a slight noise. If someone tells me I can sit down and I'd prefer to stand, I coldly say 'I see' or something like that and then go on doing what I feel like.

 

[Dark Ninja]

Always wear headphones or earbuds so you can ignore people. You don't even have to have anything playing.

 

[Captain Tuttle]

I understand the op. I get annoyed at shit like that. "Oh really? I can put down my package?! Noooo you don't say.I never even thought about that. You need to be dispensing this amazing knowledge at Harvard, not here at the UPS store".

It's not them being considerate, it's just straight up not minding their business.

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Maybe that person offering suggestions suffers from social anxiety and is trying to "break out of their shell". Maybe they're on the spectrum and struggling to fit into society. Maybe they're just really lonely and looking for any kind of social interaction, no matter how small.

Point is we really can't read anyone's minds so if something like this happens to me out of the blue I just try to be polite. This lousy world needs more kindness in it and I try to do my part, even if it's small

 

[The Albatross]

My wife got wrecked by a stranger the other day...

2 weeks ago we're at the beach and she gets a bug bite on her face, gets inflamed, she scratches it like nuts, opens this wound on her chin. She always gets the worst bug bites and then itches them till they bleed, w/e. She covers it up w/ makeup and all, typical shit.

She's at a coffee place the otehr day after going to the gym, and there's this beggar out in the lot asking for money, and shes' like well I don't have money but I could get you food or coffee or something. The person is like, coffee. So she goes back in and gets the guy a coffee. Waits for like 10mins for it. Goes out and gives it to him and he replies "y'know you should really fix your face it looks horrible"

She told me this story and I just fucking laughed at her. No good deed ever goes unpunished.

 

[Ctrl Alt Del]

I can't say I relate, it's just some random kindness.

What really grinds my gears is when somebody tells me my shoes are unlaced. I mean, I know friend, I can feel it whipping at my ankles. I'm just moving to a less crowded area so I can crouch and tie them again, jesus.

 

[The Albatross]

The 'sit down and wait' person from the restaurant is probably because some people feel pressure when someone is waiting at the counter for something, lead to mistakes or w/e.

 

[PAFenix]

My wife got wrecked by a stranger the other day...

2 weeks ago we're at the beach and she gets a bug bite on her face, gets inflamed, she scratches it like nuts, opens this wound on her chin. She always gets the worst bug bites and then itches them till they bleed, w/e. She covers it up w/ makeup and all, typical shit.

She's at a coffee place the otehr day after going to the gym, and there's this beggar out in the lot asking for money, and shes' like well I don't have money but I could get you food or coffee or something. The person is like, coffee. So she goes back in and gets the guy a coffee. Waits for like 10mins for it. Goes out and gives it to him and he replies "y'know you should really fix your face it looks horrible"

She told me this story and I just fucking laughed at her. No good deed ever goes unpunished.

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Wooooooooow lol

 

[j7vikes]

OP you can save 15% or more by switching to Geico.

 

[Mafro]

I was in a hotel lobby reading my phone email while waiting for my coworker to come down so we can go to a conference together and this guy sits down right next to me and says "you know there's a whole world out there to explore if you just put your phone down for a minute". I just grabbed his hat and threw it across the room.

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Things that didn't actually happen

 

[TheSkullPrince]

"Oh thank you that's very kind of you but I'm ok"

 

[Surakian]

I understand the op. I get annoyed at shit like that. "Oh really? I can put down my package?! Noooo you don't say.I never even thought about that. You need to be dispensing this amazing knowledge at Harvard, not here at the UPS store".

It's not them being considerate, it's just straight up not minding their business.

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Bless your heart. Y'all are absolute pleasures to talk to.

 

[kiaaa]

I'm a super stubborn person so sometimes people saying shit like this kinda gives me a pass to relax a bit in a situation like yours. I'll stand there with a heavy box until my arm falls off, but then someone suggests I just put it down and I'm like, oh yeah, that's a good idea.

 

[Parch]

When basic social interaction results in becoming "extremely annoyed", I blame the internet. People talk to each other in the real world.

 

[mrmoose]

What an incredible thread backfire. I'm struggling to think of something LESS benign than these two interactions and OP's out here like FUCK YOU I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME

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I think what surprises me more are that there are others who think the same as OP.

I was expecting more along the lines of other posts like "smile more" or "get off your phone" which I can understand but this stuff? Man.

 

[El Bombastico]

When basic social interaction results in becoming "extremely annoyed", I blame the internet. People talk to each other in the real world.

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Less and less so, I'm noticing. Most are glued to their smartphones.

 

[El Bombastico]

I think what surprises me more are that there are others who think the same as OP.

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ERA, by the admission of many here, is full of asocial shut ins with anxiety issues, so it doesn't surprise me in the least.

 

[Bear]

My wife got wrecked by a stranger the other day...

2 weeks ago we're at the beach and she gets a bug bite on her face, gets inflamed, she scratches it like nuts, opens this wound on her chin. She always gets the worst bug bites and then itches them till they bleed, w/e. She covers it up w/ makeup and all, typical shit.

She's at a coffee place the otehr day after going to the gym, and there's this beggar out in the lot asking for money, and shes' like well I don't have money but I could get you food or coffee or something. The person is like, coffee. So she goes back in and gets the guy a coffee. Waits for like 10mins for it. Goes out and gives it to him and he replies "y'know you should really fix your face it looks horrible"

She told me this story and I just fucking laughed at her. No good deed ever goes unpunished.

Click to shrink...

I would've knocked the coffee out of that person's hand. They don't deserve it.

 

[mrmoose]

I can't say I relate, it's just some random kindness.

What really grinds my gears is when somebody tells me my shoes are unlaced. I mean, I know friend, I can feel it whipping at my ankles. I'm just moving to a less crowded area so I can crouch and tie them again, jesus.

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This seems like a thing that a lot of people won't notice until they trip.

I mean with most of these, do people really think that people are offering this advice to get one over on them or to feel better about themselves? I mean sometimes you just want to be friendly. Next we're going to get a story where someone offered to help with some groceries or help push a stalled car and the response is "what, you think I can't do it myself?"

 

[BossAttack]

This is the most Era thread ever.

Please, go touch some grass.

 

[Dr. Zoidberg]

Being nice/kind evidently doesn't come naturally for some people.

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Some people who are used to living in large cities seem to have this "Don't talk to strangers. Don't make eye contact." thing going on in public. I think it's a coping mechanism where they are living but they tend to bring it with them everywhere. When they visit more laid-back, friendly places like my area, any stranger making small-talk or simply saying a kind word generates this defensive, annoyed feeling. I went to Disney World with someone like this and they were literally made uncomfortable by how kind and pleasant the staff were to them. It's like he basically assumes everyone is an asshole so any stranger acting nice must have nefarious, alterior motives and must not be trusted.

 

[____]

I'm with you OP. Annoying as fuck.

 

[BossAttack]

Some people who are used to living in large cities seem to have this "Don't talk to strangers. Don't make eye contact." thing going on in public. I think it's a coping mechanism where they are living but they tend to bring it with them everywhere. When they visit more laid-back, friendly places like my area, any stranger making small-talk or simply saying a kind word generates this defensive, annoyed feeling. I went to Disney World with someone like this and they were literally made uncomfortable by how kind and pleasant the staff were to them. It's like he basically assumes everyone is an asshole so any stranger acting nice must have nefarious, alterior motives and must not be trusted.

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What? I live in a big city and it forces you to have conversations with strangers a lot and most aren't trying to start shit with you. You can tell when someone is flagging you down because they want money or because they need directions.

Shit, one time I was walking with my suit on and some dude in a car, looked like Uber, was trying to get my attention. My city senses went up so I tried to ignore them, but they were insistent so I turned around and made eye contact with them in their car. Turns out there was something hanging on my suit, dude pointed it out and actually got out of his car to brush it off me and then went about his day. Just another brother helping another brother. ✊

And no, they were not trying to pickpocket me. I legit had dumb tags on my suit I hadn't taken off and they just wanted to make sure I was looking sharp.

But I guess I should've told him to mind his own DAMN business!

 

[Mezentine]

I understand the op. I get annoyed at shit like that. "Oh really? I can put down my package?! Noooo you don't say.I never even thought about that. You need to be dispensing this amazing knowledge at Harvard, not here at the UPS store".

It's not them being considerate, it's just straight up not minding their business.

Click to shrink...

I understand the moment of annoyance, don't get me wrong. I don't understand remembering it, much less having an opinion about it, by the time you've left the store

 

[Splader]

Why is a random person trying to give me customer service? I'm not their customer

I think you have misread this post

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In the ups example specifically, sometimes you have regulars lined up that offer friendly advice here and there, like "hey if it's just a drop off, you can put it in that box".

There's quite literally nothing wrong with that. And if you'd rather get an official receipt (even though a picture of the label works just fine), then you can say "oh thanks, but I'm waiting on a receipt."

Source: I work at ups and see this interaction several times a week.

 

[Dr. Zoidberg]

My city senses went up so I tried to ignore them

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Ah, my friend must have overactive "city senses", LOL! I've encountered that attitude more than once, though I guess it just varies from person to person. I had a coworker move out here from LA, and he was eager to talk to strangers, but that was mainly so he could tell them how much better California was than wherever he happened to be at the time. How they were better drivers, especially. He did not make a lot of friends and we all wished he would go back.

 

[Gold!e]

The two examples OP mentioned would be a litle irritating to hear, I wouldn't say 'extremely annoying' though.

I don't really class utterly useless information as social interaction though, dunno how people ITT are making that connection.
A random 'how's your day?' or 'I like your shirt/shoes/hair' in a store isn't the same as 'hey. did you know you can use money to buy items here?'

 

[Stath]

What an incredible thread backfire. I'm struggling to think of something LESS benign than these two interactions and OP's out here like FUCK YOU I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME

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Nothing incredible about it; these kind of thread pile-ons are extremely predictable and happen literally EVERY time somebody makes a thread about specific, personal nuisances that most people may not share. I could immediately tell how this thread was going to go when it first appeared: people were largely going to get smarmy, dismissive, and overly-assumptive instead of making any kind of effort at all to be charitable towards a perspective that they might find disagreeable but is relatively harmless. It's not uncommon for people to have specific hangups for various reasons. Once again, this pile-on tendency happens literally every time with these kinds of threads; it's mundane.

Also, you know what would be a more benign situation? Two people ignoring each other, much like how you're probably going to ignore most people when out in a public space. Can't say I "struggled" to come up with that one.

 

[Kitsunebaby]

Man, what's with all the weird conflation of unsolicited advice and social interaction in this thread? Is that what y'all think small talk is? Offering "helpful" little tidbits of guidance by pointing out the extremely obvious? With absolutely no self-awareness about how those comments might come off as a teensy bit condescending? And y'all accuse other people of having bad social skills?

And for everyone accusing the op of interpreting people's words uncharitably, there's been a whole host of posters making uncharitable assumptions about op. Generally I'd assume most people are capable of telling when such comments are genuinely well-meaning and when they're a bit rude.

 

[thomas_cale]

Man, what's with all the weird conflation of unsolicited advice and social interaction in this thread? Is that what y'all think small talk is? Offering "helpful" little tidbits of guidance by pointing out the extremely obvious? With absolutely no self-awareness about how those comments might come off as a teensy bit condescending? And y'all accuse other people of having bad social skills?

And for everyone accusing the op of interpreting people's words uncharitably, there's been a whole host of posters making uncharitable assumptions about op. Generally I'd assume most people are capable of telling when such comments are genuinely well-meaning and when they're a bit rude.

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Even if you dont appreciate the "advice" just say thanks im fine and go about your day.
Making a thread about the most basic social interactions and being annoyed hours later, really?

 

[Stencil]

I already gave my two cents (unwarranted, of course) earlier but seeing this thread float back up has me thinking about Oppositional Defiant Disorder. I really do wonder if my partner has it, if only maybe slightly. She really dislikes whenever I ask her to help out or make any suggestions to her like OP describes.

 

[snail_maze]

I wonder what the overlap is for these people vs. the people the OP describes.

The irony here is that the people that think this sort of behavior is "kind" and "normal" and that the OP needs to "go outside more" (and whatever has been said in this thread) are the ones that seemingly lack social skills. It isn't normal to remind a person that the human body is able to sit down. That is never helpful. Or that surfaces exist. You should probably assume adult humans know these things. If not -- what the fuck?

Click to shrink...

It's some kind of weird annoying people gaslighting or something.

 

[Melpomene]

people were largely going to get smarmy, dismissive, and overly-assumptive instead of making any kind of effort at all to be charitable towards a perspective that they might find disagreeable but is relatively harmless.

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There's a real irony in saying this regarding an OP in which the user was smarmy, aggressive, and overly-assumptive about the intentions of the very people about whom they were talking, whose actions were ultimately relatively harmless.

 

[Antrax]

Bless your heart

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Whew, you didn't have to drop a nuke on them lol

 

[Kitsunebaby]

Even if you dont appreciate the "advice" just say thanks im fine and go about your day.
Making a thread about the most basic social interactions and being annoyed hours later, really?

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I do. As an afab person who looks visibly feminine I've put up with "helpful" remarks from "well-meaning gentlemen" all my life with very little pushback. Doesn't mean the behavior isn't just a tad bit annoying, and not worth all the weird defensiveness from posters in here.

 

[RoaminRonin]

Benign interpersonal interactions and how some folks on Era react to them is truly amazing.

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It really is.

 

[DrScruffleton]

Making a thread about the most basic social interactions and being annoyed hours later, really?

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Is making a thread some sacred thing? Ive seen several people say they cant believe I made a thread about this. Theres a fucking thread on the front page of people counting as high as they can.