As someone with social anxiety, ADHD, and probably autism (getting diagnosis is really hard and expensive, I can sort of empathize with the OP here. These kinds of remarks can feel very condescending and feel like the person saying them has an ulterior motive or making fun of you or something. However this isn't necessarily something they did wrong, as like many pointed out, they were just being nice. It's a very hard and arbitrary line that is in different places for different people, and I honestly don't blame people saying these kinds of things unless it actually is with malicious intent.
Saying something like a waiter asking if you want water falling under this is a very reductive take. That's absolutely fine and doesn't fall under this. If you don't see a car and are about to cross the street and someone says something, that also doesn't fall under this.
I don't think there's a real answer to "solve" this in an end all be all fashion. I don't think the people doing it are wrong, but I also see how it can feel condescending to the person it's said to. It absolutely depends on the person. I get it.
While not a stranger, I was visiting my parents house and was doing something and my dad said "you need help?" when I clearly have it, I say no and then he says "you need some light?" (As in turning another light on in the room), and I got very annoyed and it felt very condescending. I know my dad was trying to be nice, but it was really not helping at all and was just making me more irritated. I know that's a me problem.
I don't think the dogpile on the OP is completely warranted here.
