ERA Anonymous Confessions 2019 v3.0 - One version higher than the GiftBot

oreomunsta · Nov 15, 2019

neoak said:
context
I work as a micro scientist in a large hospital. People always ask me like how you deal with some of the samples like urin, faeces etc. you know the smell of them and all the regular stuff people might think. Like how shit and piss samples will make you gag and puke - thing is you get used to those type of things over time. It's only a smell and there's lots of other smells in a lab anyway. There's only one sample type I've not been able to move past as being fucking horrible though, and that's sputum - or to you an me phlegm. There's just something in the wet, sticky consistency of thick, globular, infection ridden loogies that just knocks me sick and I never get used to

confession
Anyway I'd been dating this fellow mic for a year or so and it ended quite acrimoniously. Basically we'd had this agreement that I wouldn't moan about getting sex in the exchange that she would give me sex at least twice a week at any time (she was studying and busy with extra curricular stuff). Sounds corny but I used to love that little tingle if it had been dry until Wednesday knowing that there were only two days maximum. Sounds weird but it worked for a while. Anyway, as time went on she wasn't respecting the deal we'd made. So I sat her down explained the difficulty. She basically said I was wrong to put pressure on her, to which my response was the whole point of the deal was to take the pressure away while still being reasonable. Anyway, we staggered on for a bit but it was never 'fo real' if you get my jam. We broke up after about 3/4 months after that - there were loads of arguments and chats in the interim and it just died.

So fast forward, kinda awkward as we worked in the same dept. but only in the same lab spaces some of the time. And she had turned into some crazy bitch. She'd already had a go at my new lease car months prior to this, not the paintwork but right across the diamond cut alloys. And all four of them. There was the usual deranged shit such as social media spamming etc. which was ongoing to some extent despite being blocked. Anyway, this particular day I was in a proper rage because I'd been hitting on this new lab assistant who was kinda cute, and she decided to just basically fill her in on our storied past according to her bias. That just sent me over the edge.

Now you can't lose a sample in a lab because everything gets booked in. However you can split it once you have your range of tests accounted for. So there was an opportunity to divide this particularly nasty phelgm wad, and just scoop it into a piece of paper as a holding area. I eventually tipped it into my empty food container at the end of the day amidst dry heaves as it rolled around like thick treacle. I had to keep that piece of phlegm for just over a week until I got my chance - carried it amongst my possessions every day in a smaller tub. Sometimes they'd rock out to Costa for lunch and get a coffee and toastie, so she had the takeout cheese/tomato, came back into the break room and left it on the side as she nipped the toilet. People filtered out until it was just me left. I pulled out the small container from my cubby in the main cupboards and quickly prised the end of the toastie up and coaxed it in with the aid of a teaspoon. Still gagging like mad.

Later that day I was looking for her round the gas analysers and she'd gone. Someone mentioned she'd had to go home due to 'illness'. Felt fucking good that night going home. However, I did spend the next two weeks cacking myself in case anyone connected the dots about sample misuse. I don't know if she ever suspected me, guess so but she stopped fucking me round after that. Win for all the bro's in here right there.

Oh yeah, and you are an ass.

... I mean, I like revenge stories and all, but...

... this is fucked...
... and highly illegal and overboard

neoak said:

Aw, that sucks to get ghosted like that, but not much you can do there, confessor

neoak said:
Maybe you should try... you know... asking...

Yeah, this confessor has some things to learn to embrace...

neoak said:

Hmm.... maybe it's time to confront the wife, and also get some paternity tests done

Deleted member 48897 · Nov 15, 2019

oreomunsta said:
... this is fucked...
... and highly illegal and overboard

I'm suspicious and certainly hoping it's one of this year's falsified submissions

oreomunsta · Nov 15, 2019

muteKi said:
I'm suspicious and certainly hoping it's one of this year's falsified submissions

I can see the premise being realistic, but goddamn, spreading that shit on someone's toast without anyone noticing? How could the victim not even notice that?

That could be fake, to your point

TheGreatDirector · Nov 15, 2019

Dude with the principal boss...shit, I don't even know anymore.

Get a divorce, hope you get custody. That marriage is gonna turn toxic real quick and it's better to leave now before keeping all your feelings pent up and exploding by doing something worse.

Professor Beef · Nov 15, 2019

get that paternity test, STAT

Sedated · Nov 15, 2019

What is up with people making others drink their piss or phlegm... Just wtf is wrong with you? Someone could get seriously ill from your stupidness. What pos yall are

Also the pe teacher confessor... Goodluck man and time to confront the wife and take some tests.

MilesQ · Nov 15, 2019

So there's a video, emails and everyone seems to know they are fucking but confessor still refuses to do anything?

At least report the fucker, he'll probably get fired for the affair and for using his position/affair to make your life more difficult.

And have some goddamn self respect. The fuck is wrong with you letting people shit all over and you just taking it. Stand up for yourself.

Lagamorph · Nov 15, 2019

TheGreatDirector said:
Dude with the principal boss...shit, I don't even know anymore.

Get a divorce, hope you get custody. That marriage is gonna turn toxic real quick and it's better to leave now before keeping all your feelings pent up and exploding by doing something worse.

I'd be getting a paternity test before going for custody by the sounds of things....

gappvembe · Nov 15, 2019

Can you get a paternity test secretly (so your 'wife' doesn't know).... if so, do that.

Servbot24 · Nov 15, 2019

Win for all the bro's in here right there.

uh... huh.

Deleted member 27246 · Nov 15, 2019

DrBorisGoltz said:
This has to be bullshit. Nobody would put up with that without doing something. You'd have to have zero spine.

Yeah I agree. It reads like some fucked up cuckold story. I am half expecting a part three where he has clean up service.

Travo · Nov 15, 2019

If this is real, PE teacher, it's time to get the fuck out. Nobody should put up with that. Stand your ground, don't teach during the summer because you're not under contract. Eat wherever the fuck toy want to eat at school.

sgtnosboss · Nov 15, 2019

where do I read them?

oreomunsta · Nov 15, 2019

sgtnosboss said:
where do I read them?

Check CesspoolofHatred 's posts :)

CesspoolofHatred · Nov 15, 2019

oreomunsta said:
Check CesspoolofHatred 's posts :)

They're all added to the highlights. Haven't gotten around to cataloging yesterday's confessions, will do that soon

neoak · Nov 16, 2019

About 4 months ago, I met a woman at a bar. She was a slim red head with a spunky personality, that I was immediately drawn to. We exchanged numbers and started going on dates pretty soon after

However, after a month of dates, I noticed she had put on a significant amount of weight; about 15lbs. She didn't make a big deal of it, and I have a thing for women gaining weight, so I wasn't complaining.

Fast forward another month, and my now girlfriend had put on another 10-15lbs. I didn't know how since she never really ate much in front of me, so I pointedly asked her if she was possibly pregnant.

To my relief she wasn't pregnant, but instead she was a feedee. A feedee is a person who either enjoys gaining weight or is a consenting participant in a feeder/gainer relationship.

She told me she had always been interested in gaining weight and becoming fat, but it wasn't until recently that she acted on her fetish. She had been stuffing herself in private for the past two months. She asked if I was still interested in her after hearing her confession.

I absolutely was. In fact I was ecstatic. I've been a closeted fat admirer and feeder since I was a young child, and she was the first woman I had met in public who shared my fetish, and wanted me to participate in her weight gain.

Immediately we began to talk about our deepest fantasies about our fetish, and we both learned that each of us shared the desire to be in a mutual weight gaining relationship, where both parters are a feeder; a person who encourages and feeds/stuffs the other partner, and a feedee; a consenting person who is willing to get fat for their own or someone else's pleasure.

As another month passed by, I had gained 17lbs and my girlfriend had gained another 12lbs. We were in heaven, stuffing each other with at least 10,000 calories a day, and adding another 4,000 calories via a special weight gain shake (one quart of heavy cream, one stick of melted butter, two cups melted ice cream, nesquick, and chocolate syrup) at least 4 days a week.

We finally reached our four month anniversary yesterday, and I've never been happier with someone. We know what we're doing to our bodies, but we just don't care. We both want ourselves to be so fat and I don't know at what weight we're going to stop at. 400lbs is the tentative goal right now, but I can definitely see us move past that pretty quickly. Immobility is a dark fantasy of hers.

In those fourth months my girlfriend has gained 52lbs, going from 155lbs to 207lbs. I've added 36lbs to my frame in the two months we've participated together; going from 185lbs to 221lbs.

I know this is all fucked up, but we don't care. We want to be a massive couple together.

neoak · Nov 16, 2019

The last email got lost and really was written hastily.

I want to give everyone an update. 2 year's ago I sent a confession stating I had terminal cancer. My cancer is in full remission. Shock. Really I should be ecstatic but, I'm not and I'm wishing the cancer had gotten me. Sure I survived but, I'm still hopelessly depressed and now I'm still weak from what the cancer and am in debt. I want to die but, I don't have the willpower to do so. If cancer wont kill me what will? I work 12 hour shift minimum and am on my feet. I work 60 hour work weeks going to near 80 due to the Holiday seasons. Sure I moved out and got my own place but, I'm salaried and still barely make ends mean. I have no freetime. My only friend and I had a falling out and I don't have a girlfriend.

All my time is spent working. At least when I was dying I was on easy street. The times I wasn't in horrific pain were amazing. I was either passed out or high as a kite. All i did was sometimes eat but, mostly play videogames. no pressure to do anything else. I had people waiting hand and foot on me. For once I felt appreciated. My family were nice and people were friendly. Does that sound wrong? People paid attention to me. People acknowledged I existed. And now that I'm better my depression has returned and people once again do not care about me.

Honestly though deep down a part of me is like fuck yeah I beat cancer. As much as I wanted to die, as much as I still do...I won, I beat a death sentence. For once in my life I actually won. Maybe deep down truth is I just want to be happy, to be acknowledged that I exist. I want to be someone.

>As for living with parents, what is wrong with that? The amount of money saved is ridiculous, plus you have someone at home that you can rely on... in most cases.

Neoak the issue was I don't want too. I wanted my independence. What I wanted was freedom.

>You know why you should tell them? So they can try to make as many memories as they can with you with whatever time is left.

I did tell them or rather they found out. Kinda hard to keep it a secret when you live with them. I was forced to do so much shit. Surgery after surgery, extensive chemo. My hair is only just now growing back. If there's one thing I can say I'm sorta deep down proud of is beating my cancer. I was terminal. I was given 6 months and yet I defied the odds. Somehow. Still my body is fucked and theirs always a chance my cancer could return.

And lets be honest I do boast about it. When the young people at work complain I tell them "You think you got it bad? Try having pancreatic cancer" that always shuts them the fuck up.

I believe this is a follow up of https://www.resetera.com/threads/er...-than-the-giftbot.150087/page-9#post-26325829

Fair enough confessor. Do whatever makes you happy. It is, after all, your life.

neoak · Nov 16, 2019

I had a confession last year and this is kinda an update and new confession. I believe you guys called me the friend zoner or something. I was the one who had his best friend tell him he wanted to come to my place and bone me. I turned him down because I was angry with him that night and I didn't really feel that way about him at all and my original confession was that afterwards I couldn't stop thinking about what if I let him.

Anyways, thats the refresher. The update is he got married and I was his best man at his wedding. The bride didn't want me attending at all. Let alone be a part of the ceremony. He had to fight for me to be able to attend. This is the confession, I feel like the reason she didn't want me there is because she thinks I'm a bad influence. Every time my best friend had one of his "conquests" send him nude photos and she'd see them I would have to "confess" that I sent them and the photos were to me and I was just sharing them to him. In reality he's the problem. I don't know if he's still messing around behind her back or not. He's always been a player and I was surprised when he announced his wedding. Another thought crossed my mind his previous ex thought there was something going on between us and was jealous when we hanged out. Main reason he dumped her. I thought maybe that was another reason his wife doesn't like me because she thinks something is going on too. I have no idea why I keep saving his ass. I really should stop but he's my friend.

Your are an enabler of your friend's behavior.

Stop.

neoak · Nov 16, 2019

I was a thief of my employer's time. Yes, we all check our phones or watch a YouTube video at work sometimes. But this went way beyond that.

I worked in an account management position at a tech company, and last year found myself assigned to a client that was pretty self-sufficient and didn't require that much attention. I was the only person at my company with my particular job title, meaning my supervisor often overlooked me or simply didn't know what to do with me in terms of assignments. Whenever we had 1:1 meetings I just said I was spending my days in meetings with the clients, which was usually not true.

Furthermore, this was a work from home position. Work from home + little supervision + few responsibilities = tons of opportunity to slack off. Every week I spent around 5-10 hours actually working, all the while collecting my full salaried paycheck, and somehow receiving good reviews and occasional raises.

That might sound pretty sweet - and it was! I spent pretty much all day pursuing my creative hobbies. Somedays I slept in 4 hours past starting time. Some days I didn't even log into my computer. And no one said anything about it. This went on for 10 months.

Eventually I got tired of having zero urgency in my life, and used my resume to find a new job with more responsibility and better pay. So not only did I get nearly a free year of free salary, I got to use it on my resume to get a better job.

And that's the end of the story. Zero repercussions for 10 months of severe time theft.

neoak · Nov 16, 2019

It's probably something I've elaborated on elsewhere in passing, but not in any major way, and not to the extent I will here, and there's definitely things I'll say here I'd never admit publicly.

So I'm a guy. A cis guy. This is not a question to me in the slightest. Even when I've questioned if I could maybe, probably, possibly be a woman or non-binary, I always realize that, no, I am a man.

... but the thing is I still feel like I wasn't born in the right body. It's not dysphoria- it's dysmorphia.

I've never really particularly identified with more masculine looking guys. I always felt like, on the inside, I was supposed to be more feminine or androgynous, and thusly, that's how I should look. But I'm, in my opinion, incredibly masculine looking. I'm balding, I have a big wide nose, I have loads of quick growing facial hair, I have even more body hair, I have a masculine chin (admittedly not hypermasculine and super wide or anything, but, masculine), I've got a big beer belly (ironic, given I don't drink), I'm very wide shouldered and just wide framed in general... just. Very bear-ish, I guess, would be the term for it.

But, I don't want to be a bear. I want to be cute. I want to be pretty. Nay, I want to be beautiful. I want to have long, flowing hair. I want to have pretty, clear skin. I want to be clean shaven all over- or better yet, not have to shave at all. I want to have either a button or pointy nose. I want to look like, just, a real prettyboy. Beyond just being a twink. "Otokonoko" or "femboy" is maybe too far, as I don't really want to wear "girly" clothing, more "flamboyant" or "princely", but far far closer to that than what I am now. I know it'd be a lot to take care of, but if I could have it, I absolutely would.

60% of the time that's okay. I just shrug and go oh well. Give myself another plate of pasta or go back to shaving my face even though all the hair will be back next day same time at the most.

But God. GOD. That 40% of the time when I realize how ugly I am to myself- even though were I someone else I likely wouldn't find them ugly, just not attracted to them at most. When I realize that I just... I feel so helpless. So hopeless.

I feel like I'm not worth being loved. So I don't get up at a normal time. I don't shower beyond a cursory cleaning of my armpits. I don't shave. I don't brush my teeth. I don't fucking eat until dinner. I just don't take care of this body, because it feels like with how it looks, it sure fucking doesn't love me.

And it feels like just taking care of myself isn't worth it, giving how exacting I am about looks. Sure, I could take care of myself. Maybe get myself some lip gloss or some pastel colored clothing, or a wig, or something. But, it'd feel like I'm just lying to myself, to everyone, about what a mess I am. A real "lipstick on a pig" sort of situation. I'd just feel even grosser.

Even though I don't think that way about anyone else, I think that way about myself. Like I'd never tell someone else they shouldn't try to live their best life according to how they want to look or what's easiest for them to maintain. I'm fully against fat shaming, I don't think it's right to insult anyone for looking "too" anything.

But me? I'm legitimately too masculine. I'm too broad. I'm too big. I'm too... too UGLY. And none of that is wrong to say about me, because unlike everyone else, it's, well, it's true. If someone makes a fat joke at my expense, rather than anyone else's or fat people in general, I'm LEGITIMATELY tickled, for instance. Though, I will say, me being fat is the least distressing of my problems-- horrible, given it's probably the "easiest" to fix and the only one I MAYBE can.

I just wish life had a goddamn character creator. So I could mess around with my face and fix it, so I could shrink my shoulders and ribcage, maybe enhance my thighs a bit... hell I wouldn't even mind the pot belly if I could fix everything else!!!!!

The thing that really sealed my depression and worry over this is some stupid phone app that shows you what you'd look like if you were, like, young, or old, or a man or woman. Again, I'm NOT a woman, but a traditional looking "woman" is closer to how I feel I'm supposed to look than a Western-traditional looking man. But I turned on the filter for woman and I was just devastated by what I saw. I almost vomited, legitimately.

I worry too that, like, maybe my attraction to men isn't genuine, you know? That it isn't me being attracted to them...but me wanting to be them. To inhabit a vessel similar to those. That I'm not really into guys, I just want to be pretty and then concern myself with courting women. Obviously if I give it even a few minutes of thought I work out, no, I really and legitimately am just attracted to feminine or androgynous people generally speaking, men included. But in the moment it leaps out and taunts me.

Then there's the fact I greatly admire effeminate men who speak out about issues that effect them due to society's cisheteronormativity, misogyny and transphobia, whether cis or trans. It casts doubts upon the purity of my admiration for them, because I know outwardly it may look like I'm a chaser or something, when really I just... I feel camaraderie. Because on the inside, I feel like I'm most like them, even though, really, factually, I'm not. Like, yeah, sure, I can't lie, I find some of them hot, I'd totally ask some of them out if we had met under other circumstances where such a request would be acceptable and not weird. But I legitimately just want to support them far, far more over anything else, as even if I don't actually know what their pain feels like... I do feel it, if in another way from how it actually is. Pity isn't quite the right word, nor is empathize. But something like that.

The icing on the top is that a number of people have told me they legit find me attractive. Cute, handsome; one even in all serious called me studly to my dumbfoundment. But... I DON'T WANT TO LOOK LIKE THIS! It breaks me up inside knowing there are people who find this attractive, what I just find... bad.

It fucking. Sucks. So. Fucking. Horribly. I've cried myself to sleep more than once obsessing over this....

The only saving grace is that it's not a constant struggle. Like I said, it only happens like 40% of the time. Some days I'm "fine" with how I look. Like, I don't go "heh, I look great". I'm just like "oh, I look like this. I'm okay with this. I look like a funny lovable oaf, even if I wouldn't kiss me." But that 40%. I just feel miserable. Tracing lines on the mirror where I want to metaphysically cut off parts of my face or body, or where I want things to grow or change....

God. God.

I can only hope I find someone who loves me for how I look and helps me learn to love that about myself. It shouldn't be on them to "fix me". But I've tried therapy for this shit. It helps for my other mental issues. But for this, just doesn't work.

I'm not asking for help, else I'd be off anon. I just needed to vent this. Get this off my chest.

I hope you find the love you are looking for confessor. Don't give up!

neoak · Nov 16, 2019

And day 14 is done!

Alwayscrazybacon · Nov 16, 2019

neoak said:

I've been there, as long as you answer emails quickly people think your always "working" from home. I used to even take vacations on top of my paid holiday time. Sounds great but the lonleyness does kick in without a routine and colleagues.

Psychotext · Nov 16, 2019

That feeder thing is fucking strange. I just can't understand actively trying to harm your own health unless you've got a pretty severe mental disorder. Though I guess maybe they do?

Night Hunter · Nov 16, 2019

neoak said:

Sorry, confessor, but you aren't special. At all. This is pretty much the norm, you just don't know it because everyone at those tech companies pretends to be working just as you do.

Product management at big tech corporates is life on easy mode from what I have oberserved. Just because even if you fuck up, the coders who do all the actual work anyway will normally save your ass. And like someone else said, unless you forget to answer your mails, no one would ever be the wiser.

crimzonflame · Nov 16, 2019

The feeder thing is probably the worst confession I have ever read in all these years.

texhnolyze · Nov 16, 2019

Night Hunter said:
Sorry, confessor, but you aren't special. At all. This is pretty much the norm, you just don't know it because everyone at those tech companies pretends to be working just as you do.

Product management at big tech corporates is life on easy mode from what I have oberserved. Just because even if you fuck up, the coders who do all the actual work anyway will normally save your ass. And like someone else said, unless you forget to answer your mails, no one would ever be the wiser.

Yeah, that's me.

I have 13k post in Era so far, and the majority of them came from my work hours. I rarely browse Era at home, I'd be busy playing games or watching stuff.

Night Hunter · Nov 16, 2019

texhnolyze said:
Yeah, that's me.

I have 13k post in Era so far, and the majority of them came from my work hours. I rarely browse Era at home, I'd be busy playing games or watching stuff.

Yeah, to be honest, about 50% of my time is spent browsing. It's not that I don't do anything, but most of the stuff I do just has a lot of downtime where I wait...

Everyone who has tried migrating a 25 GB Mailbox knows what I'm talking about 😅

Ogodei · Nov 16, 2019

neoak said:

This is basically how I play work-from-home days. I couldn't slack off that much, but when I do need to work from home for whatever reason, I arrange my workflow that week such that I only have to work like 2-3 hours that day, and the rest is keeping my laptop open in the corner of my eye in case I get a Teams chat or an important email.

Radiophonic · Nov 16, 2019

The feeder thing is horrible. Never mind the damage they're happily doing to themselves, but to the strain they'll put on services and other people who'll have to take care of them when they're beyond any sort of manageable size. It's like a different form of self-mutilation.

I totally get the person wasting time at work; I had a job like that, where I had what I did down to a science, and could coast much of the rest of the time. I spent a lot of that time web surfing, or taking long lunches to shop/eat out, but it was pretty dissatisfying, knowing you could be doing other shit instead.

Sonicbug · Nov 16, 2019

PE teacher confessor, do you have a teacher's union? A superintendent? File an official complaint and get the fuck out of there. If you have any friends on staff that would back you up, have them write official statements backing you up. Escalate. Don't put up with that shit. As for him banging your wife... it takes two to tango. File for divorce.

MilesQ · Nov 16, 2019

Gluttony is a sin, feeding/feeder confessor. Don't stray from God's light.

On the real though, live your lives how you want, but the health risks and the additional societal cost in terms of services, wetc is something you should at least consider.

Strangelove_77 · Nov 16, 2019

That PE teacher one can't be real. That's just too much.

Deleted member 17643 · Nov 16, 2019

neoak said:

I honestly don't see much wrong with this.

Alwayscrazybacon · Nov 16, 2019

Night Hunter said:
Sorry, confessor, but you aren't special. At all. This is pretty much the norm, you just don't know it because everyone at those tech companies pretends to be working just as you do.

This. Also if another work from home colleague slips up as you know they know, you don't bring attention to it as you'd be bringing attention to yourself. Nobody is going to upset the status quo except for bitter people that do have to go to the office every day. Those peoples Emails are the ones that need the quick response becuse they will be the loudest how they never get a timely response.

Walker_Boh · Nov 16, 2019

neoak said:

I believe that there was a similar confession, either back on GAF a few years ago or on Something Awful, where a guys position was eliminated and he was supposed to be let go but the company never fired him. I think the confessor collected checks and did nothing but send a few emails for about a year before he let the company know he was supposed to be let go.

Altazor · Nov 16, 2019

Feeder confessor:

that is unhealthy as fuck. I know it's "you do you", but as an overweight person I gotta say it's no laughing matter. Thankfully I haven't had much health scares regarding my weight but that doesn't mean it couldn't happen.

You're both putting your bodies through some actual self-harm, even though it doesn't seem so "at first". It feels good to eat so much, I know it does, but then your whole body will remind you both of the consequences. Fatty liver that may lead to cirrhosis, clogged arteries that may lead to strokes or heart attacks, diabetes, the annoying-as-fuck heartburn... hell, even osteoarthritis (because those joints aren't going to withstand that much weight!) and some types of cancer.

I know you said you "know" what you're doing to yourselves. I don't think you actually do. Unless you're secretly suicidal and you actually want to slowly kill yourself and your SO, I humbly as you to please reconsider and stop. It might not be too late. Do it for you and for her, so that you may still have lives worth living in the future. Please don't destroy the lives of you two and your families with this.

Xpike · Nov 16, 2019

for the feeder thing both should watch the Simpsons episode where Homer tries to get fatter to work from home
it's not only extremely unhealthy but in some ways unethical

neoak · Nov 17, 2019

It's my big dream to have a custom knight armor made for me, but from modern materials that keeps bullet from entering my body, but is lightweight and thin enough that I can wear it under regular clothing. Also to have a sword that I can shorten or lengthen like a telescope so when I don't use it it's quasi-invisible. Why all that? Because I like the idea of being this modern-day knight (fuck off, Batman). Of course, I'm not doing it because I'm 35, it's embarrassing and I'd probably get killed quickly if I ever got into a situation where I believe it could be useful.
But it's my dream, whatever.

neoak · Nov 17, 2019

Not an incest story, sorry you horny fuckers.

Here's a story from my time as a worker at a local supermarket. The team would often rotate tasks, like who's at the counter, who checks inventory, who orders stuff, etc.. It was the dullest job in my life, until one day I found a way to make it more fun. At least in my twisted mind it was: During restocking shelves, I noticed that many of the cereals cardboards were like half-ripped. Nobody seemed to care, because that stuff was selling fine. Tbh I get it, because I made it a habit to get rid of the cardboard, too. Anyway, so I saw these half-ripped cardboards and have an idea: Why not switch the actual content of two cereals?! So I did that. Took some cornflakes and some honey loops and put each on into the other's cardboard packaging.

I fetched some sticky tape to make it hold together (I'd open the box it from below) and then it was done. That week I was lustening carefully if any complaint came in. Nada. I was ... disappointed, so next time it was my turn to restock shelves, I upped the effort (lol): I pretty much switched contents of ALL the cereals we had. Must have been like 30 or so boxes. Sounds a lot, but it's a surprisingly easily done procedure: Small rip on the below side of the box, take out content, put in different cereal, seal firm with sticky tape. Et voila.

When I was done, I stood in front of the shelves, proud of what I had done. Unfortunately, the weirdest of things happened: Not a SINGLE complaint came in. Not one. And I would have known because I voluntarily did customer help that week (something everybody hates doing).

At that time I started having thoughts what other products I could switch out. But then the planned end of my job there came and I couldn't put my plans in action. Maybe it was for the best. But I wouldn't totally hate working in a supermarket again.

I think an incest story would have been better. You tampered with items in the store. You know what other stuff has been tampered with:

neoak · Nov 17, 2019

I have a fantasy where a woman stabs me and then fucks me while I'm bleeding out.

I also seem to have an irrational hatred of men that is probably related to childhood trauma that I'm often reluctant to admit exists. I question whether I have a right to feel any kind of angst about it and many other things.

I beat up my dad when I was 17 and didn't start really feeling bad about it until I was 24. He didn't deserve it. He was a good father and is still kinder toward me than I disserve.

neoak · Nov 17, 2019

I eat my own poop and I've even eaten my dog's poop. Have I gotten sick? Yes, oh god, yes. I don't eat shit anymore because I got very sick from doing so. Now I just keep a jar of peoples poops I've taken from restrooms. I bring it out when I want to have fun times. Ngl but, pooping is a massive turn on for me and public restrooms are like my personal sanctuary.

B-Dubs · Nov 17, 2019

neoak said:
I eat my own poop and I've even eaten my dog's poop. Have I gotten sick? Yes, oh god, yes. I don't eat shit anymore because I got very sick from doing so. Now I just keep a jar of peoples poops I've taken from restrooms. I bring it out when I want to have fun times. Ngl but, pooping is a massive turn on for me and public restrooms are like my personal sanctuary.

neoak · Nov 17, 2019

And day

is done

(no good memes these last 2 days)

Walker_Boh · Nov 17, 2019

neoak said:
I eat my own poop and I've even eaten my dog's poop. Have I gotten sick? Yes, oh god, yes. I don't eat shit anymore because I got very sick from doing so. Now I just keep a jar of peoples poops I've taken from restrooms. I bring it out when I want to have fun times. Ngl but, pooping is a massive turn on for me and public restrooms are like my personal sanctuary.

You warned me and I didn't listen. I DIDN'T LISTEN!!!

neoak · Nov 17, 2019

B-Dubs said:

You mean the things the confessor keeps in a jar?

TaySan · Nov 17, 2019

neoak said:
I eat my own poop and I've even eaten my dog's poop. Have I gotten sick? Yes, oh god, yes. I don't eat shit anymore because I got very sick from doing so. Now I just keep a jar of peoples poops I've taken from restrooms. I bring it out when I want to have fun times. Ngl but, pooping is a massive turn on for me and public restrooms are like my personal sanctuary.

lol Yeah i'm not believing this one.

Prolepro · Nov 17, 2019

neoak said:
I eat my own poop and I've even eaten my dog's poop. Have I gotten sick? Yes, oh god, yes. I don't eat shit anymore because I got very sick from doing so. Now I just keep a jar of peoples poops I've taken from restrooms. I bring it out when I want to have fun times. Ngl but, pooping is a massive turn on for me and public restrooms are like my personal sanctuary.

Radiophonic · Nov 17, 2019

neoak said:
I eat my own poop and I've even eaten my dog's poop. Have I gotten sick? Yes, oh god, yes. I don't eat shit anymore because I got very sick from doing so. Now I just keep a jar of peoples poops I've taken from restrooms. I bring it out when I want to have fun times. Ngl but, pooping is a massive turn on for me and public restrooms are like my personal sanctuary.

I can only assume if people ever tell confessor that he has a shit-eating grin, he privately smiles to himself.

MrPink · Nov 17, 2019

neoak said:
I eat my own poop and I've even eaten my dog's poop. Have I gotten sick? Yes, oh god, yes. I don't eat shit anymore because I got very sick from doing so. Now I just keep a jar of peoples poops I've taken from restrooms. I bring it out when I want to have fun times. Ngl but, pooping is a massive turn on for me and public restrooms are like my personal sanctuary.

Professor Beef · Nov 17, 2019

what in tarnation did i read

ERA Anonymous Confessions 2019 v3.0 - One version higher than the GiftBot

Do you remember ronito?

Yes

No

roni-who?

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