I had to leave Twitch because there was nothing left for me to do there, no room for me to grow. I grew a large FGC presence onto their platform, organized and ran mutiple events, "parties", various FGC ideas, concepts, blah blah blah. Weekly reports, presentations, etc.. I had proved the concept that a CPT Ccentered talk show, capcom pro talk, was something the community needed. After doing it 2 years Capcom told me it was a waste of time as it didn't generate them any money ( their costs for this were $0). This is what led me to kill the show. I spent money out of my own pocket to bring cool shit to y'all but they didn't appreciate that so fuck them.
I don't care to be a VP, CEO, w/e the fuck you wanna call yourself to make you feel important, of a company that I didn't create. Twitch and Mike Ross have different life goals. Titles don't mean shit to me, they never have. To stay in a corporate environment means I'd have to suck sick to climb. I don't suck dick. If you do that's okay though, you do you.
And keep in mind, Twitch originally was a free thinking, creative environment to do cool shit. They didn't have to answer anyone when I was there initially. Money means they are owned now. When you are owned, you have no freedom. Just an illusion of the concept.
I'll elaborate more on this if I ever see you in person.
I had to break from the "FGC" because I don't recognize it anymore. FGC to me is different than what it is to you. Y'all didn't show up til maybe 2017/2018. So when you ask me about the FGC were aren't even in the same league of thought.
However, I started to feel like everyone around me was fake. If they aren't fake, then it's ME that is. Either way staying active wouldn't let me see clear so sometimes you gotta take a step back and view your life externally.
Throughout this entiRe FGC journey I tried to maintain contact with everyone, even folks from elementary school. Thousands of people all messaging me at various times and I tried to stay on it. After a while I started questioning people's intention around me. "Who in the FGC is really my friend? Are people only nice to me cause they think I'm something else? What if I didn't have this job, what if I had no relevance, no fame regardless of how small it is, no EA, none of it. Then who's there?"
I couldn't go to an event without someone acting extra nice to me and then slipping in "aye put me on excellent adventures bro!". Or, "hey dawg, you're black but you haven't helped my streams ever, you only help white people".
I've had females privately record conversations with me just to share with their friends like "look who I talked to, I got him to say..."
Ultimately this shit just started to eat at me, I figured "I can stop all this nonsense by just walking out the door. If I'm right, all these people who claim to be my friends will vanish quickly, and the real will stay"
Let me paint a clearer picture:
In 2016 I had 6,000 birthday notifications across social media platforms, email, text messages. In 2017 I had 4 people Wish me happy bday on my actual bday. My family, Hung B, and Mark Julio. That put a fuck ton into perspective for me. Everything I had thought about my perception of people was proving to be true.
I learned that I was the one that needed to change. It's not 6,000 people fault for not messaging me, it's my fault for presuming any of it meant a goddamn thing.
I could go on this for days. Let's cut it here for now.