Shave your entire body, including your eyebrows, and run naked. Slick aerodynamics will give you the extra millisecond edge which could make all the difference.
How do I become fast soon?
- Thread starter FernandoRocker
- Start date
Shave your entire body, including your eyebrows, and run naked. Slick aerodynamics will give you the extra millisecond edge which could make all the difference.
This is ERA, he'll need to at least wear a speedo, or there will be a lot of drag.
OP
OP
Funny how so many seem surprised this sort of stuff goes on outside of "The Office".
There is these two old guys (one recently retired) that have schooled people at H.O.R.S.E. for years. They have made fools of many young ball players through out the years.
Also for about 2 years now people have been trying to push a MMA or Boxing match between me and another coworker. It has gone as far as fight posters being made and them trying to get the company to support it for charity.
There is these two old guys (one recently retired) that have schooled people at H.O.R.S.E. for years. They have made fools of many young ball players through out the years.
Also for about 2 years now people have been trying to push a MMA or Boxing match between me and another coworker. It has gone as far as fight posters being made and them trying to get the company to support it for charity.
LMAO, it's a 100m race! It'll be over in less than 30 seconds.
OP will be fine even with no training.
It was a bit different in the Air Force and I wasn't in an Office job, but we had foot races and wrestling matches. We had a younger guy known to be a good wrestler, but I beat him at work in the break room. Good times.
Gatorade ain't that effective. Skipping breakfast for no reason whatsoever. Crunches in the bathroom. Like, if this isn't trolling, it's unintentionally hilarious!
You gotta take a shit and not wipe, the greasy disgusting crap will liquify with your sweat and provide less friction between your ass cheeks allowing you to move your legs faster. It's science!
Begin doing sprints daily, working from 50% pace, and repeating a 50m distance 10 times, to a 90% pace 10times. Nothing else needed, you are what you are, but at least you can condition your muscles to sprint. The best you can do is just get back to as fast as YOU are. Speed is genetic, and very hard to train (former decent sprinter in my heyday - i was just born fast)
I swear OP created a thread about not wiping while in GAF. Maybe I am remembering wrong.
I am sure I am wrong, all the poop threads over the years have melded together in my mind.
Fernando just enjoys the transformation from stinky pupa to sparkling clean butterfly
Race re-scheduled: it's earlier than expected!
OP
OP
Some guys are free on Friday and can't race that day, so the race was rescheduled for tomorrow.
Rub lots of vegetable shortening all over your naked torso, and then plant a firecracker in your ass.
OP
OP
I never lie.
I may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist...but I am not a porn star...
Oh true, got that all twisted around but you're right! Re-psyched.
OP
OP
