You'll make it work, if there's one thing becoming a parent does to you - it gives you the ability to make things work 'somehow'.
it depends on the medication, there are some medications that work during pregnancy and are safe
The one bedroom apartment isn't a big deal at this point. A baby won't need its own room for a while. Plenty of people do it in a one bedroom.
Finances are always hard, but hopefully you guys figure something out if you do proceed.
Yup, there might be things that work and others that don't. They might have to switch her off something and onto something else. My wife had to lower her depression med, which really sucked but she got through. She had some other meds that she was fine on because that's usually the one they recommend to pregnant people and she was already on it.
My big advice if you guys go through is to be there for her and be very understanding. Not only does pregnancy do crazy things to women's bodies and hormones but obviously having to switch meds and stuff affects things, too. She's not going to be the same person for a while. And she's likely going to be frustrated about that, too.
That's really interesting/encouraging that some medications were fine. Hopefully that's the case with us, since its one of our biggest hesitations in going through with this right now.
I'm a new parent of a now 7 week old and I definitely have some time to do things. Doing outside the house things becomes nearly impossible unless you have someone to take care of them and if your SO is breast feeding, good luck. You'll be tethered for a while. That said, we still find time to watch our favorite shows together. I still get in video game time here and there, but probably moreso handheld and phone than a console but that's partially because of how our house is set up. I still get in some exercise. You can still be a person, it just might take some creativity and work for a bit.Do you all still have time to do anything when you're a parent, or do you just stop caring as much?
Do you all still have time to do anything when you're a parent, or do you just stop caring as much?
I still have plenty of time to play games or read or stuff that's consistently scheduled like golf league. Spontaneous stuff, especially outside the house, not so much. So I guess it depends what kind of things you're really accustomed to doing.
Do you all still have time to do anything when you're a parent, or do you just stop caring as much?
That is extremely encouraging to hear. My girlfriend and I aren't super spontaneous as it is, and most of our friends live very close by and could thus visit us instead!
You will still have time to do stuff. Just possibly not the same stuff you used to do, and not as much of it. For example, my wife and I would quite often go out for a few drinks after work before we had kids. Can't do that any more. Weekends are now arranged around what we're going to do to entertain them. Weekdays are nursery run, work, nursery run, dinner, bath and bedtime for the kids.
Evenings are usually free after they've gone to bed, but we can't do anything that makes too much noise, and honestly most of the time we're too tired to do much more than veg on the sofa and watch tv. If you want to play games or watch a film or any sort of hobby, that's the time to do it.
You'll still be able to do stuff with friends, it just tends to need to be planned in advance rather than spur of the moment. A lot of the time one of us will look after the kids while the other goes out. You just make it work, it takes a bit more effort than you'll be used to at first, but you'll get the hang of it :)
If you have family nearby (or someone who's enough of a friend), just having someone come over and watch the baby even once a week is a massive stress relief. We were lucky enough to have someone to watch Josie even overnight, but even if it had only been for a few hours it would be massive. So start building some up owed favors if you can.
With regard to child care, we're very lucky that we have a ton of friends and family all living very close to us, and I'm sure they'd be happy to help out. And, fortunately, my girlfriend works from home, which will make things a little less complicated.
I've become weirdly excited about this. Now I just have to give her space to let her decide; she's still vacillating between really wanting it and really not.
These are both very encouraging responses. We tend to travel abroad somewhat often, at least relative to most people we know, but we lead very mellow lives when we're stateside. My girlfriend doesn't drink, and most nights we just like eating dinner and watching a movie when I get home from work. It doesn't sound like we'd actually have an incredibly difficult time adjusting.
With regard to child care, we're very lucky that we have a ton of friends and family all living very close to us, and I'm sure they'd be happy to help out. And, fortunately, my girlfriend works from home, which will make things a little less complicated.
I've become weirdly excited about this. Now I just have to give her space to let her decide; she's still vacillating between really wanting it and really not.
uhhhhhh... that's INSANE
you posted before about how your wife wouldn't let anyone visit at all, right???
unless your little one has some sort of scary underlying issue, keeping them in a bubble won't be doing them any favors
do you have a pediatrician visit upcoming? maybe you should bring it up then and get reassurance that it's fine
if my wife said something along those lines to me, she'd get MASSIVE pushback... that sort of thinking can only spiral. is your wife having issues post-partum?
Can you not suggest hosting a limited number of visitors and having anti-bac handwash by the door for guests as they enter? It's a very normal thing to do for visitors around a newborn. At the end of the day, you're as likely to be a carrier of germs and bugs when you go to/from work as any friends or family visiting.
I'm pretty depressed at the moment. My wife basically cancelled all holidays this year to make sure our little Arthur doesn't catch anything.
That ended in a lot of wasted food. We've tried dropping portions, and eventually bribery. No dice. It's stressing my wife out. It doesn't bother me too much because every checkup she's had has been fine and she doesn't complain about being hungry. Maybe it's psychological?
That's kind of where I stand on the issue. I'm the primary cook so I'll make food for everyone but nothing specific to anyone. Tonight's chili night for example. Everyone gets chili, but my wife will add cheese to hers, I'll add hot sauce and crackers to mine etc. The kids have the options to add what they like but that's what we do for dinner. My oldest is fine, she'll chow down. My youngest will yell and scream about not being hungry and wanting to get down so she can go play instead of eat. I'm not sitting there forcing her to clean her plate or anything but a bite or two during dinner shouldn't be this hard to get out of her.Our friends had a child who was born with Hirschsprung's and had a very difficult time with eating. They spent a lot of time with professionals and learning how to best handle it and at the end of the day the answer was basically a) model by having them eat the same things you do as soon as possible b) don't make a big deal out of it. So we prepare one meal, the children are free to eat or not eat it, dessert is once a week and not conditional on finishing your meal, and snacks are fruit and cheese. It's worked out fairly well, our kids have pretty eclectic tastes due to eating out ethnic food with us all the time. They're still picky about some things of course, but everyone is.
Yeah, we actually do a little guilt trip if one of us put a lot of effort into dinner and they just pick at it, mostly from a "it's not really polite to behave this way when someone puts a lot of time/thought into making you a meal." But our kids are 11/14 now.I'm not sitting there forcing her to clean her plate or anything but a bite or two during dinner shouldn't be this hard to get out of her.
That seems pretty problematic, have you spoken to the doctor together about it and whether it's a reasonable stance?
FWIW, we did four weeks before taking the baby into public, food shopping, etc. We had family over at two weeks, people didn't come if they had colds, washed their hands, etc. Our friends took their six week old to Tibet to go hiking for a few months.
The entire debate came from the pediatrician's office. She's not saying bubble 100%. We have some people here once in a while, but basically the pediatrician advises everyone with a 4 month old or younger to stay the fuck away from 'larger' gatherings and my wife is agreeing.
It just seems nuts because no one I've ever known actually does this with holidays.
We give little man a bath and the first thing he does as we start to dry him off is poop and pee in the towel.
After I do anther quick risk and take him down to get a diaper put on, he proceeds to poop on me, the dresser, changing table on top of the dresser, and his changing pad.
Fun times.
A story for when the suitors start coming round in the teenage years.
Can anyone provide me with some pregnancy diet advice (for my girlfriend)? There are a million different sources out there, but I'm wondering if you all have any specific ones in mind.
Can anyone provide me with some pregnancy diet advice (for my girlfriend)? There are a million different sources out there, but I'm wondering if you all have any specific ones in mind.
Pregnancy diet is hard as fuck to plan for. I mean outside of the things she needs to avoid. With my wife she joked that her appetite reverted to an 8 year old child. She wanted mac & cheese and non-offensive stuff like cheese pizza.
Other than plain things, it was hard to plan because her appetite would be everywhere. We could have a dinner made and then when it was out and ready it would horrify her. Or she wouldn't want anything at all. Crackers were a godsend when she wasn't terribly feeling food at all.
That doesn't last the whole pregnancy, but a good chunk of it near-ish the beginning.
Meanwhile my wife didn't have any food-related changes or aversion during her pregnancy. So ymmv.