Whether it is malicious, a lack of English understanding, or a lack of education ultimately doesn't matter. The correct response to this thread would then be: Huh, I was mistakingly being offensive. I didn't realize. But now I know, thank you.
As a non-native English speaker this happens sometimes. But I would rather be wrong and learn, than be wrong and mad for being told so.
Eh, there's a limit. Personally, I don't think I use the word "female" very often (except in contexts like, "I don't know many female programmers," but I think OP would be fine with that) but I'd rather not self-censor every word or phrase that someone finds offensive.
I've been told not to use the word "cunt," but... well, I just know who not to say it
in front of now. I learned, but I didn't change my mind. I don't personally find anything wrong with the word when used sparingly so I'm going to keep saying it regardless. On the other hand, I figured it was finally time to drop the word "retarded," which was honestly just a holdover from when I was a kid, when it was pointed out to me that that's not really acceptable anymore.
I guess what I'm getting at is, context and meaning matter, and even though I'm not a libertarian, don't tread on me, "triggered much?" type of person, I still think people can sometimes be overly sensitive and preachy. We live in sensitive times to be sure, but this doesn't really help.
