I can't even get hype for Doom Slayer right now... And that rumor would make things worse, because then the other 2 characters are Ryu Hayabusa (Who's not bad, but not big for me) & Steve. I know Steve's fascist prick doesn't make money off the series anymore, but he's still a generic-yet-ugly dude with a sword & magic. I'll have basically just paid for Doomslayer, literal shame, & for Last Surprise on the OST.
... I almost included this in with the Doomslayer posters, but in retrospect, said generic white guys with guns are also always dads, & Doomslayer is canonically a virgin. And I would know. I am an expert in the sex lives (Or lack thereof) of Smash characters.
Tell me all of the dirty deets about Ike and Soren