People have mid life crises.Having midlife problems is not character assassination. People change, people make mistakes. Did your parents stay exactly the same between the age of 30 and 60? Of course not.
What matters in these new films is that in the end Han and Luke both rejoined the fight and gave their lives for it, they found hope again and went out as heroes. If they had stayed in exile forever and let their friends die then you could claim their characters were ruined, but that didn't happen.
Do they also consider murdering their nephew in their sleep? And not making things right after said nephew kill their students? And sit back while billions of people die?
They fucked up Luke's whole damn character and made him as much of a bum as Han.