and I've thought this for a while, she's essentially the image of an activist peace-bringer. She is 'selfish', but in a selfless way... If that makes sense. Probably her biggest issue is her need for secrecy, often secrets can lead to others assuming the worst about a person when it's discovered. The reason she hid all of this from the Crystal Gems, the Diamonds, etc., all makes sense. Of course also how she's dumped all of this responsibility onto Steven himself (and onto Pearl). Steven has been struggling with the thought of his mom being less than perfect. And there's so many ways it can make her look bad.
But in the end, I think Rose made the right choice on nearly every front to the best that she could do. 'Destroying' Pink Diamond was important for both Gems and the planet Earth. She wanted to create a world where gems could live as themselves rather than hierarchy, and that Earth shown as a light for how life can blossom, the good and bad of it all, but how beautiful it was. She wanted to send a message of peace during an era of war, a war that was in many ways her own design, but was the only answer to what may eventually lead to peace. Steven she didn't mean to leave him with these huge responsibilities, but she fell in love with Greg and they wanted to have a child and this was the only way to accomplish that.
I think Rose was just a woman who actively did what was necessary to bring love and life to existence. It's very easy for the other characters to blame her. Her secrecy and hiding so many things, and the exacts of what she's hiding, is so easy to read into as maliciousness. People often can get suspicious of big acts of supposed kindness sprinkled with self-gain and darker methods. But I do fully believe all of it was done with the best intentions, was the best choice she could make from her positions, and ultimately did all of this for love and life.
I do look forward to the Crystal Gems and the Diamonds settling with this news, which sure is going to lead to a lot of things.