The “I am a dumbass” thread

Genetrik · Jul 31, 2020

Format rules:

[GAME NAME in bold]: I am a dumbass because [REASON]

And here is me:

Death Stranding: I am a dumbass because I finished the game after 70 or so hours and only realized now that vehicles have a boost. I repeat I finished the ENTIRE game without using / knowing about the vehicle boost. Those that know the game: think about some of the steep mountain roads that you did likely with a boost. Now imagine that without it….

Let's see how this thread goes and maybe we can add later a voting between the top 5 stories ;)

Your turn ERA

MarsipanRumpan · Jul 31, 2020

Bloodborne: I am a dumbass because I finished the game + Chalice Dungeons believing your character progress would be reset if you died, which meant that every time I died I closed down the game and downloaded my save file. I must've opened and closed the game hundreds of times, for this reason I uploaded my saves after every area and boss lol. I actually got the platinum and on my save file I technically died 0 times throughout the game + Chalice Dungeons.
For this reason the experience of Bloodborne got pretty ruined for me and that's why its never in my top PS4 games list, and also the reason I have never played another Souls game afterwards, its my biggest shame

Morrigan · Jul 31, 2020

MarsipanRumpan said:
Bloodborne: I am a dumbass because I finished the game + Chalice Dungeons believing your character progress would be reset if you died, which meant that every time I died I closed down the game and downloaded my save file. I must've opened and closed the game hundreds of times, for this reason I uploaded my saves after every area and boss lol. I actually got the platinum and on my save file I technically died 0 times throughout the game + Chalice Dungeons.
For this reason the experience of Bloodborne got pretty ruined for me and that's why its never in my top PS4 games list, and also the reason I have never played another Souls game afterwards, its my biggest shame

....I think you already won the thread

lol sorry but this is WILD

Deleted member 16876 · Jul 31, 2020

I played many hours of Monster Hunter World without knowing how to capture monsters, until I encountered the quest where you need to capture them and had to look it up.

Genetrik · Jul 31, 2020

MarsipanRumpan said:
Bloodborne: I am a dumbass because I finished the game + Chalice Dungeons believing your character progress would be reset if you died, which meant that every time I died I closed down the game and downloaded my save file. I must've opened and closed the game hundreds of times, for this reason I uploaded my saves after every area and boss lol. I actually got the platinum and on my save file I technically died 0 times throughout the game + Chalice Dungeons.
For this reason the experience of Bloodborne got pretty ruined for me and that's why its never in my top PS4 games list, and also the reason I have never played another Souls game afterwards, its my biggest shame

FUCK ME! First post destroyed me already LOL

Polyh3dron · Jul 31, 2020

MarsipanRumpan said:
Bloodborne: I am a dumbass because I finished the game + Chalice Dungeons believing your character progress would be reset if you died, which meant that every time I died I closed down the game and downloaded my save file. I must've opened and closed the game hundreds of times, for this reason I uploaded my saves after every area and boss lol. I actually got the platinum and on my save file I technically died 0 times throughout the game + Chalice Dungeons.
For this reason the experience of Bloodborne got pretty ruined for me and that's why its never in my top PS4 games list, and also the reason I have never played another Souls game afterwards, its my biggest shame

e-fucking-gads

first reply era is savage

Deleted member 1839 · Jul 31, 2020

Genetrik said:
Format rules:

And here is me:

Death Stranding: I am a dumbass because I finished the game after 70 or so hours and only realized now that vehicles have a boost. I repeat I finished the ENTIRE game without using / knowing about the vehicle boost. Those that know the game: think about some of the steep mountain roads that you did likely with a boost. Now imagine that without it….

Let's see how this thread goes and maybe we can add later a voting between the top 5 stories ;)

Your turn ERA

Same OP lol. I didn't realize the vehicles had boost until like last chapters of the game.

MarsipanRumpan said:
Bloodborne: I am a dumbass because I finished the game + Chalice Dungeons believing your character progress would be reset if you died, which meant that every time I died I closed down the game and downloaded my save file. I must've opened and closed the game hundreds of times, for this reason I uploaded my saves after every area and boss lol. I actually got the platinum and on my save file I technically died 0 times throughout the game + Chalice Dungeons.
For this reason the experience of Bloodborne got pretty ruined for me and that's why its never in my top PS4 games list, and also the reason I have never played another Souls game afterwards, its my biggest shame

oof this is wild.

Combichristoffersen · Jul 31, 2020

The perfect candidate for this thread would be that legendary 'is my copy of God of War 3 broken?' guy.

Deleted member 48434 · Jul 31, 2020

MarsipanRumpan said:
Bloodborne: I am a dumbass because I finished the game + Chalice Dungeons believing your character progress would be reset if you died, which meant that every time I died I closed down the game and downloaded my save file. I must've opened and closed the game hundreds of times, for this reason I uploaded my saves after every area and boss lol. I actually got the platinum and on my save file I technically died 0 times throughout the game + Chalice Dungeons.
For this reason the experience of Bloodborne got pretty ruined for me and that's why its never in my top PS4 games list, and also the reason I have never played another Souls game afterwards, its my biggest shame

Wow. I'm actually impressed.

Crayon · Jul 31, 2020

I'm playing old Final Fantasy 7 and I just realized there's a meter that tells you how long your barrier spell is up.

Genetrik · Jul 31, 2020

Shiba said:
Same OP lol. I didn't realize the vehicles had boost until like last chapters of the game.

oof this is wild.

Let's give each other a sad virtual hug brother LOL. The game feels AMAZING now with this knowledge LOL

krae_man · Jul 31, 2020

In Shadow of the Colossus for the final colassai, I never figured out you were supposed to shoot the left shoulder with an arrow to get him to grab his shoulder allowing you to to get up there then on to his head.

How I got up there was his right hand had a repeating motion. At one point the top of his hand would be facing him and his pinky would be at the top. I would stand on the side of his hand and run across the top of his hand as he twisted his wrist and jump for it. If you did it perfectly. You could land on his shoulders. This took hundreds of attempts to get the timing right on.

I got pretty good at it eventually, but I would rather have noticed the shoulder tell.

Deleted member 543 · Jul 31, 2020

I finished FFVIIR without figuring out how to use level 2 or 3 spells.Told a friend afterwards that I must have missed how to level up materia or something and he told me I just had to press right when casting the spell. In the heat of battle I never noticed the arrow.

danmaku · Jul 31, 2020

Assassin's Creed 2: I played through 3/4 of the game without doing a single chained takedown because they never worked for me. I did it once in the tutorial but after that it never worked again... until I realized that I was holding the trigger during takedowns instead of simply pushing and releasing. D'oh.

fontguy · Jul 31, 2020

Homura · Jul 31, 2020

Fire Emblem Three Houses: I found out I could buy materials to forge weapons on my 5th playthrough. I had never forged a weapon before because I didn't have enough materials.

Morrigan · Jul 31, 2020

Combichristoffersen said:
The perfect candidate for this thread would be that legendary 'is my copy of God of War 3 broken?' guy.

I think the first post is a decent enough challenger :D

gogosox82 · Jul 31, 2020

MarsipanRumpan said:
Bloodborne: I am a dumbass because I finished the game + Chalice Dungeons believing your character progress would be reset if you died, which meant that every time I died I closed down the game and downloaded my save file. I must've opened and closed the game hundreds of times, for this reason I uploaded my saves after every area and boss lol. I actually got the platinum and on my save file I technically died 0 times throughout the game + Chalice Dungeons.
For this reason the experience of Bloodborne got pretty ruined for me and that's why its never in my top PS4 games list, and also the reason I have never played another Souls game afterwards, its my biggest shame

JUST WOOW. I don't know what they give for prizes around here but i think you win the thread.

Ciao · Jul 31, 2020

krae_man said:
In Shadow of the Colossus for the final colassai, I never figured out you were supposed to shoot the left shoulder with an arrow to get him to grab his shoulder allowing you to to get up there then on to his head.

How I got up there was his right hand had a repeating motion. At one point the top of his hand would be facing him and his pinky would be at the top. I would stand on the side of his hand and run across the top of his hand as he twisted his wrist and jump for it. If you did it perfectly. You could land on his shoulders. This took hundreds of attempts to get the timing right on.

I got pretty good at it eventually, but I would rather have noticed the shoulder tell.

Damn! That's me haha!

Randam · Jul 31, 2020

Combichristoffersen said:
The perfect candidate for this thread would be that legendary 'is my copy of God of War 3 broken?' guy.

What happened?

I remember a guy that couldn't start MGS 3, because it always put him back to the start-screen when he wanted to start a new game.

(back in the day O was still confirm and X was cancel. :D)

jobrro · Jul 31, 2020

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: I made it half way through the various phases of the final boss before I sought out why the game was so difficult. Turns out there was a particular way to upgrade your character that I neglected the entire play through (eat food from shops IIRC).

Zephy · Jul 31, 2020

A few from when I was a kid :

Vagrant Story : I didn't understand the risk system and did every fight dealing like 0, 1, 2 points of damage per hit after the first few seconds. Every fight took ages and I ended up quitting.

Final Fantasy VII : It was my first RPG, I almost didn't use the "attack" command in the entire game because I figured it was the fall back option for when you didn't have any MP left. So I only used magic, yellow materia and summons throughout the entire game.

FFVIII : I did 90% of all battles using exclusively summons. Because they were free, attacked everyone, and protected my characters. I also did a faaaar from optimal use of the junction system.

TigerBrownie · Jul 31, 2020

Randam said:
What happened?

There was someone who couldn't beat the final boss battle because they kept mashing "O" repeatedly for 5+ minutes (pausing and switching thumbs when they got tired). They even reset the game and tried again because they thought it was a glitch. The solution was to just stop pressing "O" and wait a couple seconds.

MaverickHunterAsh · Jul 31, 2020

Final Fantasy VI: I first played this as a kid and it was the first JRPG I had ever experienced, so I had no idea what "LV" meant, how it affected my characters, or even what made it increase what seemed like randomly to me. ...I had to call the Nintendo Power Line to find out because I was staying at my grandma's house at the time and didn't have access to the manual.

I do think I should get a bit of a pass for this one seeing as (a) it was the first JRPG I had ever played and (b) I was a kid, but I'm sure I have other dumbass gaming moments I'm just not thinking of right now.

SirNinja · Jul 31, 2020

Final Fantasy VI (the original SNES English ver.): It took me ages to realize what the "Merton" spell was. (It's just a crappy translation of "Meltdown".) I thought Merton was someone's name or something, lol. Still, I kinda feel embarrassed how long it took me to realize.

krae_man said:
In Shadow of the Colossus for the final colassai, I never figured out you were supposed to shoot the left shoulder with an arrow to get him to grab his shoulder allowing you to to get up there then on to his head.

How I got up there was his right hand had a repeating motion. At one point the top of his hand would be facing him and his pinky would be at the top. I would stand on the side of his hand and run across the top of his hand as he twisted his wrist and jump for it. If you did it perfectly. You could land on his shoulders. This took hundreds of attempts to get the timing right on.

I got pretty good at it eventually, but I would rather have noticed the shoulder tell.

Hehe. Don't feel too bad about that; there's a lot of improv in SotC sometimes. Tricks like launching off the third colossus' sword as he pulls it out of the ground instead of finding a way to break his wristguard got so popular over the years that it's now a trophy in the PS4 remake. Speedrunners also have a ton of crazy tricks that require precise positioning and jump timing, so you're in better company than you think there.

Combichristoffersen · Jul 31, 2020

Randam said:
What happened?

I see you got an explanation while I took a nap. But to add insult to injury, the guy made a thread on GAF back then about how pissed he was that his copy of GoW 3 was glitched, and got laughed out of the house and raked over the coals for being a dumbass.

DimitriLH · Jul 31, 2020

Resident Evil revelations (I think it was the demo).

I kept roaming around the boat as Jill, trying to find keys to open the damn locked doors. I swear it took me like a whole day to realize that I can break the padlocks...I've never felt so dumb. I mean, it's the first time that you break locks in the series, right? Can you blame me? D:

Genetrik · Jul 31, 2020

Combichristoffersen said:
I see you got an explanation while I took a nap. But to add insult to injury, the guy made a thread on GAF back then about how pissed he was that his copy of GoW 3 was glitched, and got laughed out of the house and raked over the coals for being a dumbass.

Damn I remember that thread. Half the posts were "stop pressing O you monster" 😂

Version 3.0 · Jul 31, 2020

Not specific to a game, but just last week, there was a thread called "do you have a 3D TV?". I mentioned in the thread that my older TV is a Sony 3D model that supports SimulView, that full screen "split screen" thing that Sony pushed for like 10 minutes. I'd never used it, because it requires special SimulView glasses, which I didn't have.

Anyway, the thread made me wonder what those cost these days, and I saw on eBay they're dirt cheap - 5 bucks for 2 pair. I checked which games support it (not many), and I have a couple of them. So I bought a pair. They arrived today.

Turns out, those are passive 3D glasses, and my TV uses active 3D glasses. So they don't work. Totally useless. So I looked for the active ones, and see them on eBay for like $100 each. Fuck that.

Then I searched the internet for more info, which wasn't very helpful, except that it mentioned that the active glasses toggle between SimulView 1p/2p and normal 3D with the power button. It got me wondering, what about the glasses for my TV? It came with 4 pairs, which I'd never even used. So I open them up, and lo and behold, they work exactly like that.

I've had a compatible TV and glasses, and games, for 6 years and didn't know. All because I'd once heard, or read, that you had to have the special Playstation glasses, not normal 3D ones.

...it's kinda cool.

Combichristoffersen · Jul 31, 2020

Genetrik said:
Damn I remember that thread. Half the posts were "stop pressing O you monster" 😂

That thread was legendary. And those threads about the guy who thought his girlfriend was missing or kidnapped, but instead of looking for her like any normal person he had to 'go ly down'. And the guy who kept live updating his thread about a possum he found in his house. Those were some of the funniest shit I've read on the Internet.

Numberfox · Jul 31, 2020

Granblue Fantasy: I am a dumbass because they stated there would be an Earth Proving Ground event later in the month. I thought that meant to build up my earth team, so I spent that entire month working on building up my earth grid, forgoing upgrading my other elements. The Proving Ground comes around and it turns out an Earth Proving Ground means I need to bring my WIND team to defeat the EARTH enemies, meaning all that progress on my Earth team was completely useless for this event. I decided to just take a break until the next event when I realized.

Stove · Jul 31, 2020

Ocarina of Time: I am a dumbass because of a single puzzle that befuddled me as a kid.

I spent over a year without progressing past Dodongos Cavern due to the room before the boss. In which you had to simply pull a block onto a button.

I thought you could only push blocks, and did not know I could pull blocks until my cousin showed me a year later.

Zolbrod · Jul 31, 2020

My first RPG was Secret of Mana, and since I had only played action games up to that point, some of which contained consumable items that let you take a few hits without taking damage to your health, I assumed that armor in an RPG worked the same way, so I never bothered buying any, because it seemed like a waste of money.
Managed to get to the Spikey Tiger boss, who absolutely slaughtered me (he's tough even when you know what you're doing).

I also somehow missed Shiva and Quetzalcoatl when I played FFVIII for the first time, so I had to defeat Ifrit without summons and played a significant part of the first disc with only one GF.

sappyday · Jul 31, 2020

MarsipanRumpan said:
Bloodborne: I am a dumbass because I finished the game + Chalice Dungeons believing your character progress would be reset if you died, which meant that every time I died I closed down the game and downloaded my save file. I must've opened and closed the game hundreds of times, for this reason I uploaded my saves after every area and boss lol. I actually got the platinum and on my save file I technically died 0 times throughout the game + Chalice Dungeons.
For this reason the experience of Bloodborne got pretty ruined for me and that's why its never in my top PS4 games list, and also the reason I have never played another Souls game afterwards, its my biggest shame

damn i don't think anyone would have love Bloodborne if that was the actual case

It’s Time To Go · Jul 31, 2020

I played through the entire of bravely default without realising I could change the frequency of enemy encounters.

JustJavi · Jul 31, 2020

Xenoblade Chronicles 2: I am a dumbass because I learned about combos just before the final battle.

Rommaz · Jul 31, 2020

Combichristoffersen said:
The perfect candidate for this thread would be that legendary 'is my copy of God of War 3 broken?' guy.

That was an absolute classic of a thread, on the same level as the green waves thread.

Bishop89 · Jul 31, 2020

My bro-in-law played fallout 3 without knowing there was fast travel lol

Now I know a lot of you wouldn't find an issue with that cause you like to be "immersed" and investigate every nook and cranny, but still.

JoeNut · Jul 31, 2020

Lmao first post, that's brilliant.

djinn · Jul 31, 2020

Zephyriel said:
A few from when I was a kid :

Vagrant Story : I didn't understand the risk system and did every fight dealing like 0, 1, 2 points of damage per hit after the first few seconds. Every fight took ages and I ended up quitting.

Omg this was me maybe 7, 8 years ago. I still don't know what I was doing wrong.

pyxl_8 · Jul 31, 2020

Zephyriel said:
A few from when I was a kid :

Vagrant Story : I didn't understand the risk system and did every fight dealing like 0, 1, 2 points of damage per hit after the first few seconds. Every fight took ages and I ended up quitting.

Final Fantasy VII : It was my first RPG, I almost didn't use the "attack" command in the entire game because I figured it was the fall back option for when you didn't have any MP left. So I only used magic, yellow materia and summons throughout the entire game.

FFVIII : I did 90% of all battles using exclusively summons. Because they were free, attacked everyone, and protected my characters. I also did a faaaar from optimal use of the junction system.

I beat Vagrant Story playing the same way. Start every fight with a long high damage combo, risk gets maxed, then do long combos of 0,0,0,1,1,1,2,2,2,2,2

Finale Fireworker · Jul 31, 2020

Morrigan said:
....I think you already won the thread

lol sorry but this is WILD

I can't believe we found someone who screwed up Bloodborne worse than me.

Fat4all · Jul 31, 2020

man, that Death Stranding my boost stuff, im glad i found that out after like 20 hours

GurrenSwagann · Jul 31, 2020

It took me over 200 hours and repeated playthroughs of Dark Souls 3 to find out that there are binoculars on that tower near the start of High Wall of Lothric.

When I played FFX as a kid I failed to notice that I'd obtained Shiva, and gave up on the first Seymour fight because he was too hard. If had only scrolled down on the summons list I would have seen that '???' thing and clicked on it...

Yossarian · Jul 31, 2020

Max Payne: I am a dumbass because I skipped the tutorial and really struggled up to the Finito Brothers... before realising you could dive or use slow motion.

Oreiller · Jul 31, 2020

MarsipanRumpan said:
Bloodborne: I am a dumbass because I finished the game + Chalice Dungeons believing your character progress would be reset if you died, which meant that every time I died I closed down the game and downloaded my save file. I must've opened and closed the game hundreds of times, for this reason I uploaded my saves after every area and boss lol. I actually got the platinum and on my save file I technically died 0 times throughout the game + Chalice Dungeons.
For this reason the experience of Bloodborne got pretty ruined for me and that's why its never in my top PS4 games list, and also the reason I have never played another Souls game afterwards, its my biggest shame

I don't think I've ever seen a better first post.

Fistwell · Jul 31, 2020

Demon's souls: I am a dumbass because I intentionally started off playing the game offline worried of invaders. Did not download the launch update fixing world tendencies. Was stuck in uber grim dark world, repeatedly savaged by hordes of glowy red-eyed knight 1 shoting me (esp. around end of dragon bridge). I assumed the game was just this difficult. People in the import thread in the old place told me to get the update. Turned the game into easy-mode (relatively).

Kain-Nosgoth · Jul 31, 2020

Damn, i remember distinctly being a dumbass a few years ago on game, but i can't remember at all what it was...

Fistwell · Jul 31, 2020

Kain-Nosgoth said:
Damn, i remember distinctly being a dumbass a few years ago on game, but i can't remember at all what it was...

Megaman?

wollywinka · Jul 31, 2020

Dark Souls: I never got past the tutorial despite many tries. I just couldn't beat the boss, and I don't think I had a weapon. I knew Dark Souls was meant to be hard, but if it was that hard I wasn't going to punish myself. I figured I was just too old and too useless. Recently, I mentioned it to a friend, and he said you are meant to run past that boss. Still not sure if he was just saying it to make me feel better. Lol.

Elder Scrolls Online: I played for three months in first person. I didn't realise that you could zoom out in third person. I kept dying in group dungeons, unable to avoid ground effects and peripheral attacks. No one else seemed to have a problem, so I felt especially pathetic.

The “I am a dumbass” thread

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Love each other or die trying.

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