To me it's the sort of 'if it quacks like a duck' things. I do agree that her subtweeting him was a bad move, but that sort of "Interesting article! But have you ever considered..." is sort of a classic mansplaining playbook.
I feel like people get hyperfixated on like the most sensationalist forms of bigotry; death threats and doxxing and outright intimidation/assault. But in many ways its the small things, day in and day out, that undermine women's sense of identities. I'm not saying people need to be on their tippy toes all the time when dealing with women, but I understand why she would lash out at him like that.
Sorry for the late reply, I was out and about irl. Fair warning this is probably going to be very long wall of text and kind of rambly, so if you want to disregard it that's your prerogative.
I'm a heterosexual male and I understand that as such, I will never truly understand what it is like to be a women and be discriminated against because of that fact. The closest I will ever be able to reach an understanding of that kind of sexism is to listen the experiences of family members, friends, or even strangers and try to empathize with them, consider my own behavior, and try to make sure I act and encourage others to be supportive, conscientious, and push back against acts of sexual discrimination.
I am also a Japanese-American. You don't need to tell me that discrimination can be both overt and understated on the down low because I've experienced both. I've been on a plane and overheard one stewardess tell another that neither I, nor the gentleman next to me speak English, and ask me in that slow, drawn-out, patronizing voice Americans seem fond of adopting with foreigners, if I would like something to drink. I've also sat in a lecture hall in an institution of higher learning for a history class focused on Asian history, and have heard the professor tell a class of hundreds that while the internment of Japanese-Americans was a stain on American history, it probably wasn't as bad as they all make it out to be. My maternal grandparents were sent to those camps. And the teacher making those claims was an Asian-American.
I'm not bringing race into the discussion to downplay or obfuscate. I firmly believe that the only person you can know in a ironclad, concrete fashion is yourself. Your experiences and internal beliefs shape your perspective on the world and how you interact with it. If we're talking about discrimination, race-related issues are going to be my touchstone of conceptualizing other forms of it.
While I was still in college, I mistakenly used a male pronoun to describe a transgendered classmate during a group discussion. They politely called my attention to it, and told me their preferred pronoun, "they". After class finished I made sure to go over to them and apologized, told them that it was not done intentionally or with the intention to hurt, and that I would be more mindful of it going forward. They told me that it was no biggie, and that they appreciated the sentiment.
And here is where I can tie this back in with the topic regarding Price and Deroir (sorry for the long route to this point, but if anyone is still reading I warned you). I agree that the comments made by Deroir could be perceived as annoyingly naive or impracticable by Price, for reasons I've given in other posts. I personally don't think that his comments were "mansplaining" or purposefully condescending, though Price obviously viewed them that way. The part that I find unfortunate and regrettable is that she arguably had what could have been used as a teachable moment, with a person who obviously respected her and admired her work.
Price could have said something to the effect of, "Well we've tried similar strategies in the past, but discarded them because they're not feasible for us." She could have politely alerted Deroir to the fact that certain parts of his comment could be perceived as condescension or sexism, and seen what his response was. Would he have then continued pestering her, escalated further, backed off, or could even be receptive of it? We'll never know.
I also understand that it is not female game developers' duty to educate and engage with people about the sexism they face within the industry during all hours of the day or during national holidays. However, things still are relatively straightforward (albeit from my perspective). Price could have ignored him, or told him that while she was fresh off an AMA she really meant the comment to be rhetorical and wasn't really looking for or would respond to additional feedback. All of these are acceptable to me, and I would argue the public at large.
Instead she decided to mock Deroir, belittle him, and hold him up to her ten thousand followers as a toxic, mansplaining, pig and an emblem of everything wrong with the gaming community at large. Despite the fact that as far as I can tell, he has no prior history of sexist behavior, and that his crime - at worst - was a being an over-enthusiastic fan who assumed they might have known how to doing something better than a developer (and how many times have we all worn that hat in a gaming forum). I'm sorry, but that's not behavior I can personally support or condone.
It's tragic that she got fired over the whole exchange, though given the corporate climate in America, Arenanet's actions are not surprising to me, unexpected, or even unjustified. I disagree with the firing of Peter Fries and have said so repeatedly. It's also vexing and disheartening that Gamergaters will take this as a win and use this as a rallying cry for pushing their disgusting and exclusion-based agenda. If I were to sum it all up, it was a bit of a shit show all around.
That's it for me, I'm out and won't clutter up the thread further. If people would like to they can PM me.
