An Open Letter To Self-Identified "Trans Skeptics"
Hi. There sure are a lot of you, aren't there? Boy, you sure seem to have a lot to say. I can't say I've read most of it, because there are a lot of us, too, and every time somebody catches on to what it is you're actually saying that saves the rest of us the trouble of listening.
It's frustrating, isn't it, to not be listened to?
As much as I'd like to say I can't understand why my being who I am is such a challenge to you, a problem you feel like you need to solve... well, maybe I have an inkling. I grew up being taught the same kind of stuff you are talking. Pretty much everyone my age was. That's, really, one of the reasons I don't pay attention to what you're saying. All of us have heard everything you're saying before. Most of us have told ourselves some of your same arguments. If we're "out", it's because we came to accept how futile and pointless those arguments, those criticisms are, long before you ever came along to open your mouth.
But as I'm not listening to you, I don't know what your exact problem with me is. Here is what I do know: It is _your_ problem. And that, you know, that's the part about you I don't understand. Do you really think the solution to your problems is to try and change me? Do you really believe you can argue away who I am?
That trick doesn't work anymore. It worked in the past. It worked on me, absolutely. I was alone, isolated, self-loathing. I know how that feels, and I understand now that it is wrong, absolutely wrong, to set out to make anybody feel that way.
Challenging one's own beliefs is difficult work. Please understand, though, the cost of not doing that work. Please understand what you are giving up. The people here, the people I know and choose to have in my life - they are kind and compassionate. They respect me, they celebrate my liberation. Do you have that in your life? Do the people you associate with treat you in that way?
I accept myself as worthy. I honor and love myself. The only way I was able to do that was by recognizing the value in other people. Not necessarily queer people. A lot of my role models are cis women. I don't know who or what you are, but no matter what that is, I will absolutely guarantee this: You have nothing of value to lose by accepting me for who I am.