What is going on with Artie Lange’s nose?

Oct 25, 2017
1,970
#11
Sad to see his spiral into self-destruction has continued.
I read his Too Fat to Fish book when I used to listen to him on Stern. I rooted for him, but he has always had a tough time staying out of trouble and improving his life.
 

NYR

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,551
#15
If you know anything about Artie, you know he is a chronic drug user, specifically Herion and Cocaine.

Seriously though, he has confirmed on podcasts that he accidentally snorted glass (SERIOUSLY). Some chick he was with used a salt shaker to crush up some oxy pills and the glass broke. She didn’t tell him and walked away to answer the door. He found the pile, was already so high he didn’t notice the small pieces of crushed glass. Being the dirtbag that he is, he snorted it. Went to the ER, doc cut open his nose to work on the interior, and since he was an ER doc, wasn’t too concerned about the stitches and it was done incorrectly - basically attached the rim of the one nostril wider than the other nostril), hence the first pic which is an infected nose because of all the damage he has done to it snorting H.

The guy is a medical miracle, should be dead from being so overweight and consistently being on drugs. He is always my first round pick in death pools.
 
Last edited:
Oct 25, 2017
654
Tokyo
#20
Mandy: Have you seen the tiny amount it takes to kill you?

Artie: I don’t know what it is, but draw it back one inch. I would accept fentanyl in a heartbeat. I had a fentanyl patch on in a mental home. It was unbelievable. I’ve never ODed. I’ve had dealers say, “Jesus Christ. What the fuck.” But the nose is bad now. I could get a brain infection. If I did it, anything would go right to the brain. But again, I heard that six months ago, and I went and used an hour after.

Mandy: So I mean... you must want to die.

Artie: No, I don’t want to die. I want to be high.

Mandy: But that will eventually kill you.

Artie: I’m 50. If you would have told me in 1995, if you tried to bring up “2018,” it would be like The Jetsons. I’d be like, “What are you talking about?”

Mandy: So you’re having fun on borrowed time.

Artie: I’m playing with the house’s money. As far as I’m concerned, I’m an overachiever. A lot of money changed hands on the internet when I turned 50. I was so happy. Fuck ’em all.
He's not doing so hot.
 
Oct 27, 2017
2,768
#21
Holy shit he looks rough. I have not seen or heard of this guy since this Mad TV days. I'm sure will be an uphill struggle but I hope he cleans himself up.
 

AMAGON

Prominent Member
Member
Oct 25, 2017
877
#29
I was a fan of Artie for many years, even have his two books but man. This guy should of died ages ago, just crazy to see him still kicking and not getting any better.
 
Oct 25, 2017
654
Tokyo
#35
https://www.thedailybeast.com/artie-lange-is-not-ready-to-die-fck-em-all

Fascinating interview that covers a lot of stuff.

According to him, that wasn't a suicide attempt. It was him on withdrawal.

Artie: That was not a suicide attempt. I was in such bad withdrawals. Believe me, I leave a note. The one other time, I left a note. But shrinks go, “You’ve never tried to kill yourself. Because there was always a mountain of drugs involved.” I was in such bad withdrawals, I wanted to feel something different. I was by myself. I wanted to lose enough blood to pass out. When I woke up, I don’t know, I figured I’d put on a red shirt and go out. I didn’t know my mother was coming over. They had an intervention planned that I didn’t even know about. I go, “Ma, you never planned a surprise party.”
 
Oct 30, 2017
1,944
#38
I remember enjoying him and Norm in Dirty Work.

So I guess he's not been with Howard Stern for awhile. What's the story there. I'm guessing drugs.
 
Oct 25, 2017
9,119
Lancaster, PA
#42
Why would you though?

It's of his own doing. I have zero sympathy for him. He's aware of his problems, and yet CHOOSES to continue.
What? He made a serious attempt to kill himself. He's a depressed suicidal addict. If he were a able to just stop I'm sure he would. Rather than killing himself he just keeps doing drugs. You can't imagine the pain someone like him deals with every day. He just happens to be famous.

Have a little sympathy for other humans.
 
Oct 30, 2017
905
#44
Until I started seeing him on TV more, I often pictured Dan Lebatard as younger, less coked-out Artie Lang, and vice versa.

OT: That's fucked up.
 
Oct 27, 2017
317
#46
If you know anything about Artie, you know he is a chronic drug user, specifically Herion and Cocaine.

Seriously though, he has confirmed on podcasts that he accidentally snorted glass (SERIOUSLY). Some chick he was with used a salt shaker to crush up some oxy pills and the glass broke. She didn’t tell him and walked away to answer the door. He found the pile, was already so high he didn’t notice the small pieces of crushed glass. Being the dirtbag that he is, he snorted it. Went to the ER, doc cut open his nose to work on the interior, and since he was an ER doc, wasn’t too concerned about the stitches and it was done incorrectly - basically attached the rim of the one nostril wider than the other nostril), hence the first pic which is an infected nose because of all the damage he has done to it snorting H.

The guy is a medical miracle, should be dead from being so overweight and consistently being on drugs. He is always my first round pick in death pools.
Jeez, Artie has bad luck with getting stitches in the ER.
 
Oct 25, 2017
4,512
#47
Used to listen to him on Howard Stern all the time. He was fucking hilarious but towards the end of his career there, he was fucking losing it. Every other word out of his mouth was "faggot" and he'd talk about how it didn't mean anything cause he was just a Jersey boy dock worker etc. He stopped being funny and was just being mean. He would get into verbal fights with crew members. A couple of times he actually started throwing objects at some of them and he got into some shit for that too.

Artie would also tear down some of Howard's crew members and call them talentless and worthless. He would basically go on tirades about how he was amazing and they weren't. You could tell how badly he was losing it.

It got to the point where Howard (who wasn't as PC as he is now but getting there) told him to tone it down. Lange had fallen asleep on podcasts before and they (Stern crew) brought in a mattress and hooked up a mic near it so Lange could sleep and he could still technically be on air. It was hilarious but they all tried getting him help and he wouldn't take it.

Finally one day he just stabbed himself with a long knife and tried committing suicide. He was sent to a rehab center and it obviously didn't do him much good. It was absolutely a suicide attempt. Him now claiming that it wasn't is just more Artie trying to hide the fact that he needs or needed help. Lange has constantly tried minimizing his trouble.

Howard Stern got a lot of shit for Artie after that because everyone assumed he was enabling Artie even though behind the scenes everyone was trying to get Artie help. He didn't want to take any of it though. Howard had to let him go because, like it or not, he was enabling Artie by letting him keep a $30k/week job.
 
Oct 27, 2017
5,857
#49
I have no idea how this man is still alive. He seems like a great guy, but damn his weight and drug issues have been going on forever and most people would have died long ago.