I think avoiding terms like "white fragility" is better.
I mean, it's a perfectly accurate description of a very real phenomenon, but it antagonizes people. That gives them an "out" from the conversation: "this guy is just out to get me... I won't believe anything he says."
If you give people some facts about the blood-soaked history of European colonialism, the history of white supremacy, and statistics on race and life prospects, and then combine that with some examples of how unconscious bias can seep into the thinking of even the kindest, most open-minded individuals, you're more likely to chip away at their stubborn insistence that they are somehow an exception to every rule, untainted by history or upbringing.